A Geek Girl's Guide to Arsenic (18 page)

“Oh boy.” Nate waved us back through the door. “Come on. Let’s all go be besties at Mia’s place. She has the best games and ice cream. She and I just bought an online role-play game. REIGN, have you heard of it?

“No. Is it good?”

“It’s fantastic, and it’s going to get better.”

She looped her arm in his. “Do you live here, too?”

“No. I live downtown in the old bank building. My place is crawling with Furries this week, so we’re hanging here.”

“I love Furries.” Fifi knocked into Nate, who passed the favor on to me.

Well, no one was perfect.

We boarded the elevator to my apartment in awkward silence.

Fifi was quiet for a long beat. “So, if Nate’s not your boyfriend, who are you dating?”

“I don’t date.” I slid onto my floor at the next stop and opened the door for my guests.

“What about the marshal? He’s cute.”

Nate palmed his forehead and pressed my front door shut behind him once we’d all entered. “What about Friendsgiving?”

“What?” Fifi laughed.

I handed her the card and crossed my arms.

She read the card silently but moved her lips. “You don’t want to go?”

“She wants to go,” Nate answered.

I grabbed the invite. “I haven’t decided.”

Nate gave me a knowing look. “The invitation says you can bring a friend. We can come if you’re supposed to go.”

We? They met five minutes ago and they were
we
now?

Fifi nodded slowly. She dug in her bag and retrieved a Magic 8 Ball. “First, let’s ask the ball.” She closed her eyes and rolled the ball in her hand. She smiled at the little window and turned it to me. “What do you think we should wear?”

Nate turned her hand for a look at the answer.

“What does it say?”

He grinned at the ball. “Absolutely.”

Absolutely.

Fifi handed me the ball. “Ab-so-freaking-lutely.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Wednesday was beautiful but chilly. One of those days photographers of the rural Midwest capture for postcards and tourism. The morning frost had burned off slowly, leaving tiny crystal blankets over the earth until lunchtime. I’d arranged a half-day at the office to cover Bree’s dress rehearsal and hustled over to the fairgrounds. When I arrived, the brilliant costumes I loved were mostly concealed by cloaks and various other outerwear.

I headed for the wagons to let my folks and Grandma know where they could find me, and stopped several yards short.

The rebuilt Guinevere’s Golden Beauty booth was finished early, and it looked amazing. The canopy roof was covered in thatch and lined in twinkle lights. Four intricately carved posts rose from the ground at each corner and stretched into the air. Majestic sapphire and emerald flags stood atop each pole, undulating in the breeze. It was impossible not to stare at the masterpiece. Even the wood shone with fresh stain and oil. I owed those contractors a bonus. Most vendors wouldn’t have been back this season after the damage Melanie’s tantrum had delivered upon us. This crew had pulled it together in under a week. I loved them.

Grandma hugged me and kissed both my cheeks. “You did great! People are stopping left and right to ask about the new booth.”

Mom sauntered to my side. “I agree. Fabulous work, Mia. Now, get over to the stage before Bree comes looking for you. She’s called me twice.”

Grandma frowned and opened her palm to my mom.

Mom cursed and handed over her cell.

I nearly skipped to the stage, still in possession of my phone.

The cabaret moves were simple, and Bree wasn’t tripping on her feet anymore during the dips. Gwen and I danced in the empty front row, shaking our money makers as needed to coax a fresh giggle lose from her chubby cheeks.

I used Gwen as a puppet to mime Bree’s moves. She and I knew the routine as well as anyone onstage, better than a few, but we didn’t like to brag.

A handsome figure in jeans and a brown leather coat caught my attention as I spun. Jake rounded the stage, examining the general setup and taking a hungry look at the wide buffet awaiting the dancers.

I waved Gwen’s dimpled arm and lifted her to block my face. “Hey! Over here, Marshal!”

“Hello, Little Miss.” He took the empty seat beside me and hoisted Gwen onto his lap.

I smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“Your grandma said I could find you here.”

“Oh, did she?”

“Yep. She said I should sit close and make Adam jealous so he’ll try harder because you’re a touch obstinate.”

“Grandma wouldn’t say that.”

He tugged Gwen’s bonnet over her ears and gathered her white wool jacket around her bulging tummy. “The last part might have been me. It’s nice to see Gwen, but what happened to Lionel the manny?”

“Linus. He has the stomach flu, and they admitted him to the hospital for dehydration.”

“Yuck.”

Onstage, Adam called a wrap, and the dancers lined up to praise him, jogging in place to stay warm in their too-tiny costumes. Fishnet hose, corsets and ruffled underpants did not make an outfit. I had lingerie bigger than that.

Well, not lingerie as much as cotton pajamas, but I still wore those indoors.

Jake arranged Gwen over one knee and bounced her while clicking his tongue in an easy rhythm. “So, Adam, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“He keeps looking over here. You aren’t even smiling. You’ll never get a date like that.”

“You’re lucky you’re holding a baby.”

Jake passed Gwen to me and stood. “I’ll run a background check on him. Does Bree get special treatment for being your sister?”

Adam handed Bree a basket with wine and roses. He caught me staring, and I mentally kicked myself.

I angled away, pointing my back in Adam’s direction. “No. I think he likes Bree and I’m an obvious substitute for the married twin. The whole thing is very unfortunate and weird.”

“Bree, huh? I thought they said he’s supposed to be smart?”

My chin dropped “Oh, I’m sorry. Was that a compliment?”

Jake walked away, crossing the space to the stage. He shook Tom’s and Adam’s hands.

“Did you hear that?” I asked Gwen. “That was definitely a compliment.” No one preferred me over Bree. Ever. Except Nate, but he was biased and Bree was already married when they met.

Gwen slapped my cheek with a spit-soaked hand. “No.”

She was right. I was overthinking.

Jake returned to my side, a crooked smirk wound across his face. “I can’t get over the resemblance. It’s like talking to a pod person.”

“Thank you.”

He ran his gaze over Bree in her tiny outfit, then me in ten pounds of heavy woolen skirts. “She looks like you and sounds like you, but nothing she says is remotely you.”

“Pretty much how twins work. Two separate people.”

“Ever think of joining the cabaret? Adam said he could use another dancer. He also asked who I was and if we were dating. I sensed jealousy.”

I ignored his nonsense. “I will never get on a stage and do burlesque, or get on a stage, period.”

“Ah, but to clarify, you’re not opposed to a private showing?”

I laughed and bumped him with one hip.

“Never say never.” The hint of a blush darkened his cheeks.

I ran my mind over scenarios where I could potentially end up dancing burlesque. “No. I’m pretty certain
never
is accurate. I don’t do stages.” Private dancing was also out, but in case we were flirting, I decided to leave the possibility out there. I’d read men were eager voyeurs.

Tom and Bree shook Adam’s hand and headed our way.

I smiled widely when they were in earshot. “Nice job today. The dancing was great and the lighting and props were perfect, too.”

Tom bowed dramatically. “I stayed up all night painting set pieces.”

“Of course.” I scrutinized the basket hanging in the crook of Bree’s arm. “What’s with the gift?”

She beamed. “Adam says we’re the most dedicated couple he’s ever worked with and he couldn’t pull this off without us.”

Tom chuckled. “Schmoozing the family is also good practice when courting a reluctant damsel.”

Jake shot me an appropriate look of fear and stepped away.

No one called me a
damsel
without a pinch.

“Ow!” Tom jumped.

Bree scowled. “Mia! How old are you?”

“Too old to be called a damsel.”

“Touché.” Tom rubbed his arm and moved on to Jake. “Bree tells me tonight’s Friendsgiving. That sounds like fun.”

I blanched, shoving my hands into cloak pockets before I pinched Bree for blabbing. I’d hoped I was off the hook when Jake didn’t mention it right away.

I’d never been so torn in my life. I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to actually go. Parties stressed me out. Strangers did, too. Acting normal in front of Jake’s family and friends seemed flat out impossible. Which was why I’d asked Nate and Fifi to come along. They could be my safety blanket. My distraction. My shut-it-down crew when my babbling veered into ugly territory.

Jake shifted his weight. “It’s not bad. Parker sent me to offer Mia a ride.”

I forced my gaze away from Bree’s judgmental stare. “Nate and Fifi said I can ride with them.” I tacked on “Parker told me to bring a friend” by way of explanation for my added guests.

Jake inclined his head slightly. “Are they a thing now? What happened to Kenna from Surly Wench?”

“She’s a little young for Nate. I don’t think they have much to talk about.”

“Tough to find brains and beauty,” Jake mused.

“You’re not kidding.”

Tom wound an arm around Bree’s middle. “They can’t all be Connors women.” He wobbled suddenly and his smile faltered. “Wow. I’m not feeling very well.”

Bree wiggled free and collected Gwen from his hands. “Well, don’t breathe on Gwen. You’ve probably caught whatever Linus has. The last thing we need is a sick baby the night before our show. Matter of fact, let’s go home and get you in bed.” She looked my way. “It was only a matter of time before one of us became contaminated.” She pushed his shoulder, directing him toward the exit. “If it wasn’t Linus, maybe it was something you ate. You inhaled half the buffet table while I was dancing. Two trips. Don’t think I didn’t notice. This is why we don’t do complex carbohydrates.”

I bit my tongue.

Bree’s little family swept away with signature dramatic flair. She swung her behind gregariously out of sight.

Jake dusted his palms. “Give your friends a call. We can meet them at your place and they can follow us to mine. My family’s already there setting up.”

I shot Nate a quick text and got pizza and cow emoticons in response. “They’re eating pizza. They’ll be busy a while.”

“No problem. My family likes to drink, play cards and make stuff up. They’ll be there until dawn.”

We walked in amicable silence as far as the castle gates before curiosity got the best of me. “Is it okay I invited Nate and Fifi?”

“Sure. The more the merrier.”

“That’s what Parker said. Are you sure it’s not weird?”

“Why would it be?”

I stopped to get a bead on his facial expression and body language, but this was Jake and my mission was impossible.

“Hey!” A boy in a dragon mask darted into view, waving a rolled piece of paper in front of me. “Are you the girl from the stage? Are you the one who was dancing?”

Jake laughed.

I sighed. “Close enough, I guess. Why?”

He pressed the scroll against my hand and ran away, legs pumping.

Jake snatched my gift and unrolled it with hasty fingers. “What the hell?”

“What?” I grabbed it back.

Jake didn’t answer. He flew after the kid, while I stared stupidly at his vanishing back. I fumbled with the scroll, which wasn’t paper after all, but some kind of weird substance, like a leaf. Black ink lined the curved sides. Adrenaline thrummed through my veins as I read the words.

End
this
quest
or
your
Wee
one
is
next
to
sample
my
work.
Below the words was a red 3.

My wee one? Fresh memories of dancing with Gwen came to mind. The kid asked if I was the one from the stage. A fiery mix of fear and disgust throttled me, striking panicked feet into motion. I flew across the dusty path at full speed, blindly racing in the direction Jake had run.
What kind of animal threatens a baby?
Tom’s pale face flashed into mind. Someone had poisoned my sister’s husband. Maybe Linus, too. Was that possible? Bree had scolded Tom for making two trips to the buffet. Who had access to the buffet? Anyone. My tummy filled slowly with ice as I skipped over fallen foods on sticks and twigs carrying crimson leaves.

I pressed my phone against my ear before I had the sense to make a plan.

“Bree?” I squeaked.

“What’s the matter?” Her tone slid from a cheery hello to big-sister mode in the space of a heartbeat. “Mia? Are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s the matter?”

“I’m fine.”

Jake’s silhouette appeared in the distance, shaking someone by his shoulders.

I found my voice and forced it through clenched teeth. “I think Tom was poisoned. You need to go to the emergency room. Don’t go home first. Get him checked out.”

“What?” Shuffling and thunking noises burst through the receiver. “Wait! I dropped the phone. Turn here!” She barked orders at Tom. “Just do it. Mia said so. Pull over. I’ll drive. Mia? We’re headed to the hospital. Start the phone tree. Wait. Tell me what happened. Then start the phone tree.”

“I got a threat on a leaf.” I skidded to a stop beside Jake, now on his phone. The kid was pressed against a raked fence. “Bree? Did you eat anything from the buffet tonight? I think something there was poisoned. Maybe the berries. Did you feed anything to Gwen?”

Tires squealed through the phone line. “No!” Bree swore like Dad at a football game. “Start the effing phone tree!” She disconnected.

Jake stuffed his phone into his pocket and jerked the kid away from the wall. “Tell her what you told me.”

The kid’s wide blue eyes were glossy with fear, likely instilled by Jake before I’d arrived. His dragon mask lay in the dried mud at his feet. He shoved a long swath of jet-black hair from his eyes. “Some guy paid me five bucks to deliver the note. He said it was for the girl on the stage. I thought it was a love note or something.”

“Who?” I asked, stuffing fingers into my cloak pockets so I didn’t grab him and shake the answers loose or pepper spray them out of him.

“A guy in costume. I don’t know.”

“What kind of costume?”

Jake palmed his shoulder. “Tell her.”

The kid swallowed long and hard. He was young. High school, maybe, and cocky. I hated cocky.

He snarled at Jake’s hand on his shoulder. Apparently they’d had this conversation already. “Just some guy. I don’t know who. He was old. I don’t know how old, like thirty. He had a stupid puffy shirt on and brown pants like a dude from the past. Like him.”

I followed his accusing finger to a line of men in exactly that ensemble eating giant turkey legs and drinking ale. A hundred other identically dressed men surrounded us, shopping, working, cleaning. Dudes dressed in outfits from the past were everywhere.

“Dammit!” I rubbed my eyes hard enough to dislodge my glasses.

“That’s what I said. Sort of.” Jake turned in a small circle, scanning the area. He addressed the kid again. “Do you see him now? Could you identify him in a lineup?”

I huffed. Was he planning to haul in a hundred men? Could he do that?

The kid pulled his shoulder free of Jake’s clutch. “No, man. I don’t know these people. I’m from Pennsylvania. I came with my mom as punishment for sneaking out to see my girlfriend. I’ve never been here before. I don’t know anyone. What kind of loser do I look like?”

“Hey.” I whacked him with the note. “Someone threatened my family with this leaf. Shape up and take it seriously, would you?”

“It’s papyrus.”

I turned the note over in my fingers. “What?”