A Fluffy Tale (15 page)

“People used to believe in waiting for the
right person to come along before losing their cherry. It’s a pretty
old-fashioned idea.”

“I'm not waiting for anything or anyone. I
only need Linis.”

“And Leo.”

“And Leo. And you.”

Julian blinked. “Me? You mean, while your
leg’s busted.”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. I’ll be out of
your hair when—”

“Do you have to interrupt me when I'm
trying to be nice?”

“That was you being ‘nice’?” Julian raised
his eyebrows at the man in disbelief. “You’re so bad at this stuff!”

“Yes. Isn’t that what we’ve just spent any
amount of time discussing?”

Julian laughed and shook his head. “Yes, we
did. So…go on. Be nice. I wish I had a video recorder or something.”

“You’re spoiling things.”

“Sorry.” He tried to look innocent, like
Pyon when he knew he’d been naughty. “Well?”

Zachary sighed. “I was trying to say…thank
you. I know you care and you’ve tried so hard to help me. You
have
helped me. I just…can’t be the
person you’d like me to be. But I appreciate that you give a damn that I'm not
that person.”

“I only want you to be happy, Zachary. If
changing would make you happier, then I’d like that to happen. But if it
wouldn’t, then no, don’t change. I just wanted to understand a little better
and now I do. I can be a bit more sensitive about stuff. But I can’t stop Linis
if he wants to crawl all over me again.”

“He doesn’t do that normally. Perhaps he
needs to get out of the apartment more than we do.”

“Maybe.” Personally, Julian thought he knew
exactly what Linis was up to, but kems were no match for more than twenty years
of emotional isolation. Maybe by the time Zachary was Leo’s age, Linis would
wear him down. “You want to go back now?”

“Please.”

It wasn’t just emotional fatigue that put
that quiet plaintiveness into the request. By the time they got back to the
parking area, Zachary was drooping, and they still had a two-hour drive back to
the city. It would have been easier to just roll the wheelchair into the back,
but Julian couldn’t do that to him—it was uncomfortable and undignified and
Zachary loathed it even for short trips. So Julian helped him swing his long
legs into the front seat, careful not to let him put the slightest weight on
his injured one, and settled a cushion behind him for extra support. He put the
chair in the back and then got behind the wheel. The kems were asked to
dematerialise for safety and then Julian put the key in the ignition.

But then something occurred him, so he
stopped and turned to his companion.

“Has it been bothering you that I’ve had to
get so close to help you, all these weeks?” The attendants had done the heavy
stuff, but now he thought about it, he had to touch Zachary a dozen times a day
to do little things that helped him out. He hadn’t realised just how strong
Zachary’s phobia was.

“A bit. But…I always feel safe with you.
Much more than those people,” Zachary said, his mouth turned down. He hadn’t
liked most of the attendants, and the attendants hadn’t much liked him either.
Now Julian realised what had been the basis of the antipathy.

“Uh…good. I’d never hurt you—physically, I
mean.”

“Julian…just so you know, I’d never have
let anyone else do what you did today. I do trust you. I just…”

“Don’t like people close to you. I know.
Does it matter that I'm gay?”

“Not in the slightest. I don’t categorise
people like that. The world’s divided into good kem hosts and bad kem hosts, so
far as I'm concerned.”

Julian grinned. “What a surprise. Seatbelt
on? Let’s go.”

The new understanding of Zachary’s issues
took away most of Julian’s remaining irritation with the man. He realised now
that Zachary simply couldn't help being the way he was, and that all things
considered, he was remarkably stable.

He still couldn’t get over the way
Zachary’s grandparents behaved. Though Julian didn’t want to breach his
confidence, Leo brought it up himself one day. The contents of his old
apartment had finally cleared Customs, and though Julian had arranged for most
of the boxes to be carefully unpacked, there were a few marked as ‘fragile’ or
‘personal’, which he and Leo spent time slowly going through when Zachary
needed his apartment to himself. He was now working again, still from home, his
secretary visiting the apartment once a day with files and to take notes.
Julian made himself scarce in the mornings while she was around, in case she
asked why he was still on secondment when the patient was so much better.

A large box of photos and albums had them engrossed
for hours—Leo had travelled all over the world, and Julian could listen to him
talk for any length of time about his experiences. But it wasn’t travel photos
Leo had been hunting for. From the bottom of the box, he lifted out a very
large and rather old album, and opened it carefully. It bulged with pictures of
people Julian didn’t recognise. Leo took one out of the holders and showed it
to him.

“Ah, I’ve been meaning to send these to him
for years, never got around to it. Look, Julian—these are his parents. And this
is Zachary when he was four. That’s when I first spoke to him—I didn’t see him
after he was born until that age.”

Julian took the photo from Leo, and mimed
shock. “He’s smiling. And look at Linis! He’s so little and cute.” He showed Pyon,
who sniffed and resumed playing with a ball of paper, while Nuji dove into one
of the empty boxes on the floor. “Doesn’t recognise him. Zachary looks happy.”

“I think he was, until the plane crash. My
sister, Caran, bless her soul, was so upset about her daughter that she didn’t
really think about the impact on Zachary, beyond the practical matters, I mean.
And Peter was one of those very reserved, reticent people who didn’t know how
to show emotion. I never understood what my sister saw in him, to be honest.
She was a much more open person—or she had been before Helena was killed. Poor
Zachary was very much left to himself.”

“He said…he didn’t want to cry because it
would upset his grandma and his grandpa told him not to.”

Leo shook his head. “I'm sure that’s true.
These things scar a child, and we don’t realise. I could have done so much
more. I regret it every day, Julian.”

“Leo…did you know he actually hates people
touching him? To the point of panic?”

“I suspected something like that, but I
didn’t realise it was so severe. That’s dreadful.”

“Do you think we can help?”

Leo sighed. “One deals with phobias by
desensitisation. In Zachary’s case, I doubt he’d ever allow anyone to try.
You’ve done more than most would in that regard, Julian. He lets you get much
closer than anyone else.”

“He says he still hates it, only not as
much as with strangers. That’s not much to work with.”

“No, but it’s all we’ve got.” He closed the
photo album. “I’ll give this to him after lunch. But I have something else I
want to talk to you about. Zachary will most likely be going back to the office
on half-days next week. There’s no reason for him not to take a normal taxi
now, since he doesn’t need the wheelchair. I think your days as a chauffeur are
over and that ugly car should be sold.”

Already?
He’d known this had to come to an end but it had gone so fast.
“I’ll sort that out. So…I guess I better be thinking about returning to the
office too.”

Leo rested his chin on his hand, his green
eyes sharp as his great-nephew’s. “Hmmm. Well, that’s what I want to talk to
you about. I’ve got rather used to having you around, and Kevin was saying at
lunch the other day that I should have had a personal assistant years ago. How
would you like to work for me full-time, instead of the law firm?”

“Really? Like, permanently?”

“Yes. Terms and conditions at least as
favourable as what you’re on now, and three months’ notice either way. If I
pass on, I’ll arrange to cover your salary for a further six months on top of
notice.”

“Don’t talk about that, Leo.”

“My dear boy, I have to be practical.
Well?”

“Yes. God…yes, I’d love it! Doing what I do
now?”

“Yes, and much more, because I can transfer
all the business administration to you as well. Between you and Zachary, I can
cover everything that I need to, and I’d much rather it was handled within the
family. Is that agreeable to you?”

“Of course!” He gave Leo a quick hug.
“Thank you! Pyon! Guess what?”

The two kems came over for cuddles and
scritching, while Leo beamed with the smug look of a man who’d sprung a
delightful surprise. “And I have another proposal, though this may not suit you
so well.” Julian put Pyon down and paid attention. “I need someone to live in
with me. I
am
getting older, and the
fact you were around when I had the stroke, probably meant the difference
between walking around and being disabled. I could advertise for a live-in
aide—but I’d much rather have you. What do you say? Companionship in exchange
for rent and all found? Absolutely no other duties other than
the PA ones. I don’t need a housekeeper, I just need someone around.”

“Are you kidding? Yes!”

Leo grinned. “Oh good—I was dreading having
to find someone I liked as well as you. So I can finally move out of Zachary’s
apartment and let the poor man have his privacy back.”

“Um…what about my social life? I do have
one—well, kind of.”

“Ah. Yes. Perhaps I was getting ahead of
myself. How about if you’re to be out all night, we hire an attendant. And if
you fall madly in love with some handsome young man, then we can discuss the
transitional arrangements then. You could sublet your apartment, so you don’t
lose that security. Think about it, Julian. That’s not so important as you
being my PA. I’d fight much harder for that.”

“I will.” But already he had accepted the
idea he wanted to live in this spacious apartment with the man who’d become his
closest friend over the last few weeks. It would mean compromises—he’d never
dream of bringing someone home—but it hadn’t been a problem in the past. If he
could hang onto his old apartment, then if it didn’t work out, he’d have a fall
back. “Have you told Zachary about all this? Won’t he think I'm invading his
space?”

“I suspect he won’t be as resistant as you
think. I’ll speak to him over lunch—perhaps just the two of us, just this
once?”

“Sure…uh, when do you want me to move in?”

“Tonight, if you like. The second bedroom’s
all ready.”

“Okay—you talk to him, I’ll go home and
grab some stuff. It’ll make a difference not to have to stagger home each
night.”

“Yes, I know.” Leo’s eyes were concerned
now. “We’ve been overworking you, and I'm sorry.”

“I’ve loved every minute of it.” And he
meant it. Meeting Leo had been one of the best things to ever happen to him.

Leo gave him a key and told him to bring as
much or as little back as he liked, and to get a taxi at Leo’s expense. But
while Julian ate lunch as he packed a suitcase, Leo called him.

“My dear boy, would you mind dallying over
at your place for a little while? Zachary and I have things to discuss and we
need to be alone while we do that.”

“Sure. Just call me when you’re done.”

Julian hung up. Had Zachary vetoed the
idea? If the man had been hoping to get rid of Julian’s constant presence once
his leg was completely mended, then Leo’s announcement wouldn’t be good news.

He fretted, having already started to think
about working for Leo and living in his apartment, and now facing the
possibility that none of it would happen because of Zachary and his phobias.
Pyon caught his mood, and for the first time in ages, started to play up,
running around the apartment like a mad thing, and getting into cupboards and
making a mess. Julian caught him up and gave him lots of cuddles and attention
which calmed him down, but couldn’t quite make himself ask his kem to go
inside, because sitting on his own appealed less than chasing Pyon around and
trying to make him behave.

It was close to five when Leo called back.
“I know it’s late, Julian, but Zachary and I would love you to come back for
supper. Are you staying over tonight?”

“Is that okay?”

“Of course. You surely didn’t think…Zachary
thought it was a wonderful idea. All of it. Come back,
Julian. All’s well, I promise you.”

Julian almost burst into tears with raw
relief. Instead, he swung Pyon around and around. “It’s okay! Everything’s
okay!”

Pyon was so excited he ran around the room
a dozen times before he stopped, chirped and then demanded to be picked up
again and held close. Julian indulged him until they were both a little calmer,
and then quickly finished his packing. It really was happening.

He caught a taxi to the other building,
dumped his stuff in Leo’s apartment, then came
downstairs. He let himself into the apartment, and found Leo and Zachary
sitting at the dining table, looking at Leo’s photos. At least—Leo was looking.
Zachary was petting Linis and staring into space, eyes red and distant.

“Hey—is this a bad time?” He came to
Zachary’s side. “You okay?”

Zachary nodded. “We were…just talking about
my…Mama and Papa. I…” His voice trailed off.

“I hadn’t realised Zachary had no photos at
all of his parents,” Leo said, filling the silence.

“There were so many things I didn’t know,”
Zachary whispered. “So many things.” Linis sat and began to lick at Zachary’s
chin. Pyon whined and Julian let him go—his kem leapt onto Zachary’s shoulder
so he could nuzzle at his hair. Julian wished he had a kem’s freedom so he
could offer some comfort. Zachary looked devastated.

Julian pulled up a chair. “You were a happy
kid.”

“I must have been. I don’t remember. I
don’t remember anything before the crash. Not much, anyway. I feel…could you
both excuse me? Linis, Pyon, I need to get up, I'm sorry.” He grabbed his
crutches and hobbled away towards his bedroom. The three kems ran after him.
Julian hoped they’d help.