A Father's Love (27 page)

The congressman then briefly outlined the history of the four dads scheduled to speak. “David Goldman's situation cries out for an immediate and final resolution,” he said. “Under the Hague Convention, Sean should have been returned within six weeks. David, however, has been forced by incessant and frivolous appeals in the Brazilian legal system to pursue his case for over five long years—at an astronomical cost in personal heartbreak and financial resources.”

Congressman Smith recounted some of the details of my case. Then he shocked me by saying, “I would be remiss if I did not note here that David Goldman has demonstrated remarkable resolve, clarity of purpose, uncommon bravery, and deep and abiding love for his son. David Goldman is an inspiration—a true hero. He has not only made bringing Sean home a near-term probability, but has tangibly helped every left-behind parent and abducted child—especially those who had lost hope. David's tenacious persistence for the return of his son has launched a movement, a noble cause of left-behind parents uniting for justice, their rights as parents, and the return of their kids.”

I sat with my hands folded, my head slightly bowed. I was so honored by the congressman's words. I didn't see myself as a hero; I was just a dad who loved his son, just as the other three men sitting at the table loved their children. Congressman Smith also effusively heaped praise upon them before concluding his remarks.

“Most of these cases, as we will hear, have been dragging on for years—years of loving relationships and happy memories that these parents will never get back even if they do see and are reunited with their children someday.

“Abducted children often lose their relationship with their mom or their dad, half of their identity and half of their culture. They are at risk of serious emotional and psychological problems and have been found to experience anxiety, eating problems, nightmares, mood swings, sleep disturbances, aggressive behavior, resentment, guilt, and fearfulness. As adults, they may struggle with identity issues, their own personal relationships, and parenting.”

I could tell that Congressman Smith was winding up for a big finish, and he came through powerfully. “Child abduction is a serious crime,” he said, “that no legitimate or self-respecting judicial body anywhere on earth should ever countenance, support, or enable. Child abduction is child abuse. We must call it what it is. And we must take action to back up our words.”

And then it was my turn. I proceeded to explain to the committee as succinctly as possible the basic details of Sean's abduction and continued retention in Brazil. I told them of the ongoing, contrived legal machinations used to keep Sean in Brazil even after the Brazilian courts had said he should come home. I also told them of the psychological abuse Sean was undergoing, as attested by the Brazilian court-appointed psychologists. I admitted my own discouragement and disappointment that despite statements from President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton, Brazil continued to drag its feet in returning Sean and so far had suffered no consequences for its flagrant violations of its treaty obligations.

“We cannot dwell on or bring back the years we have lost,” I said in closing, “but we can hope to look forward to the remaining precious years ahead. My son, Sean, is still a young boy and he can still heal, but he needs to come home now.” I paused briefly and looked up at the committee members. “I appeal and plead to all of you at the most basic level of human decency to respect the sanctity of the parent-child relationship. Please take action to make a difference, to bring change, to bring our children home.”

Next, Commander Paul Toland, who had served our country for more than twenty years in the U.S. Navy, shared his heartrending story in full-dress uniform. In 2003 his daughter, Erika, had been abducted by his former wife, Etsuko, from their home on the U.S. naval base in Yokohama, Japan. Suffering from depression, Etsuko committed suicide in 2007. Though devastated by his former wife's death, Commander Toland was certain he would be immediately reunited with his daughter. But Erika now lived with her maternal grandmother, and the Japanese government, which refused even to sign the Hague Convention, would not lift a finger to return his daughter. Like me, Commander Toland had incurred staggering legal fees. “Japan,” Commander Toland stated, was a “haven” and a “black hole for abduction, from which no child ever returns.” Indeed, he informed the commission, his late wife's family had refused him any contact with his daughter.

In gripping testimony, Commander Toland described how he had flown to Japan and stood on a street corner waiting for his daughter to get out of school, simply so he could give her some birthday presents. “I knew that if I tried to take Erika to the embassy and get a passport, I would likely meet the same fate as Christopher Savoie met when he tried to retrieve his children from Japan.” Savoie's former wife violated a Tennessee court order and absconded with their two children, taking them back to her Japanese homeland. Savoie followed, tracked her down, and attempted to retrieve his children after his ex-wife dropped them off at school. When he showed up at the U.S. embassy, the police were waiting for him, and charged him with child abduction. Savoie was still in a Japanese jail even as we sat in the hearing room. Commander Toland risked receiving the same sort of treatment. He was able to deliver the presents to his daughter, but it was a very brief visit.

“I never dreamed,” Commander Toland testified, “that serving my country overseas in one of our allied nations would result in the loss of my only child.” He then asked the question that was on the minds of nearly everyone in the room: “How can a nation we call an ally be guilty of such despicable human rights violations and get away with it?” When he was done, there wasn't a sound in the chamber. His unanswered question hung in the air.

Patrick Braden of Los Angeles also testified. The last time he saw his daughter, Melissa, was in 2006. She, too, was abducted to Japan. Tom Sylvester's daughter, Carina, was a mere thirteen months old when she was abducted and whisked off to Austria. As Tom spoke of her before the committee, Carina was now fifteen years old. “For the past fourteen years I have lived in a world where right is wrong and wrong is right,” Sylvester concluded. I knew exactly what he was talking about. That was the world I had lived in every waking hour since Sean was stolen from me.

By the time the four of us fathers finished, Congressman Wolf was connecting the financial dots to the lack of compliance. “Wait a minute,” he addressed Tom Sylvester. “Your daughter is in Austria? Wasn't Austria rebuilt with American dollars under the Marshall Plan? And your daughter, sir”—he looked in Commander Toland's direction—“is in Japan. Wasn't Japan rebuilt with American dollars?” The congressman's point was clear: the countries the United States had helped so dramatically in the past had done absolutely nothing to help return illegally abducted American children to their parents.

The hearing continued with testimony from Patricia Apy and Judge Peter Messitte, both highly regarded experts on the Hague Convention; also testifying was the president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Ernie Allen, as well as Bernie Aronson.

Bernie made a powerful presentation from the start. Looking at the members of Congress, he declared, “If twenty-eight hundred American children were abducted tomorrow by Somali pirates, or a transnational kidnapping ring, or a group of terrorists, the president of the United States would summon congressional leaders to the White House, convene an emergency meeting of the National Security Council in the Situation Room, dispatch Delta Forces and aircraft carriers to where the children were being held, send his United Nations ambassador to convene an emergency meeting of the Security Council, and go before the nation in prime time to report on what the U.S. government would do to secure the return of these abducted children.

“As you know, two thousand eight hundred American children
have
been abducted,” Bernie emphasized, “and are being held illegally in other nations—not in one dramatic action, but in ones and twos, month after month, year after year. But there is no emergency meeting in the White House or the State Department, and no sense of crisis.”

Bernie then used a clever rhetorical device to make a dramatic point with the commission. He quoted strong statements about international child abduction made by the chairman of the House International Relations Committee, two members of that committee, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and a ranking member of that committee. Then Bernie sprung the trap.

“Every one of us would agree with these sentiments,” he testified, “but here is the problem in quoting them. The quote from the chairman of the International Relations Committee dates from a hearing, ‘A Parent's Worst Nightmare: The Heartbreak of International Child Abductions,' which was held June 22, 2004—more than five years ago—and the chairman is the late Henry Hyde.”

That was a mere six days after my own son was abducted
, I thought.

Bernie continued: “The quotes from the two members of the same committee were from an earlier hearing on abducted children held more than ten years ago [October 14, 1999] ... The statement I cited from the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee is from a hearing eleven years ago on the U.S. response to international Parental Abduction [October 1, 1998], and the chairman quoted is the late Jesse Helms. The second senator quoted from the same hearing was then ranking member, now vice president, Joseph Biden . . . But let's be honest with each other: all of the statements I quoted from your colleagues a decade ago could have been made at this hearing and are just as relevant today. And that is the central problem ... the time for speeches about the plight of America's abducted children is over; the time to do something about it is now.”

Bernie then went on to offer tangible suggestions to the committee about what essential steps should be taken.

I sat in awe as I listened and silently breathed a prayer of thanks that Bernie Aronson, like Chris Smith, had become a champion of this cause.

I had barely exited the hearing room when CNN grabbed me for an interview, asking me what good I thought might result from the hearing. The following morning, I appeared again on the
Today
show, expressing hope that the hearing might prompt some action in Brazil regarding Sean's return, as well as the return of the sixty-six other abducted children in that country.

On December 8, 2009, six members of the Tom Lantos Human Rights Commission sent a letter to President Obama asking him to meet with us regarding the issue of international parental child abduction. Although a meeting never took place, the issue was once again squarely in front of the president.

Congressman Smith and Bernie Aronson also encouraged me to meet again with New Jersey senator Frank Lautenberg, which I was happy to do. Bernie had been introduced to the senator when he was first elected to the Senate in 1982, and Lautenberg had asked him to serve as his administrative assistant. Though Bernie could not take the job, they stayed in touch over the years. In another one of those moments of serendipity, they ran into each other in December at the Kennedy Center Honors in Washington. Bernie took the opportunity to talk to the senator about my case. He told Lautenberg about the anti-Semitism the Ribeiros and Lins e Silvas had been fomenting against me in Brazil. On one of my recent visits, Paolo Lins e Silva had participated in a demonstration against me outside my hotel, where marchers called me a “dirty Jew.” Later, as I maneuvered through the airport crowd on my way home, hecklers called out, “Go home, Jew.” Lautenberg, who was Jewish himself and active in Jewish causes, listened carefully. He told Bernie he had been very moved in his meeting with me and wanted to help in any way. Bernie said he believed that unless Brazil and other countries that refused to return abducted American children faced real consequences, they were unlikely to meet their treaty obligations, because public opinion and nationalism worked in favor of the abducting parent. Bernie suggested that suspension of trade privileges would get Brazil's attention.

In the halls of Congress, I saw real statesmanship and caring, and Senator Lautenberg was a prime example of this. But I also saw childish partisan behavior between people who ostensibly wanted to help me. I realized that if people truly want to help, they will do so on the basis of what is good for
you
, not necessarily on the basis of what is best for them. If they get offended because you don't want to do things their way, that's probably a good indication of misguided motives. That's one of the reasons I appreciated Congressman Chris Smith so much. From the very beginning, he said, “I'll do whatever you want me to do to help. You are the quarterback.” And he was true to his word. At his own expense and with no notice, he had hopped on a plane with me to Brazil. It made a difference. The embassy paid attention to a visiting congressman, and the media hung on his every word.

 

 

THROUGHOUT NOVEMBER AND early December 2009, Bernie and Bob Gelbard called the State Department and the White House on a regular basis, encouraging them to keep the heat on Brazil. In November, President Obama traveled to Europe to attend another meeting that Brazil's president Lula also attended. With a crucial decision looming before the Brazilian Supreme Court, Bernie urged that Obama mention the case again to President Lula. Later, a former State Department colleague hinted that it had happened, but we never knew for sure.

Renewal of the annual Generalized System of Preferences bill granting most favored nation trade status was before Congress, too. Senator Lautenberg came through with flying colors. He threatened to put a senatorial “hold” on the legislation, saying he would lift the hold only when Sean Goldman was permitted to return home. It was a legislative atomic bomb. GSP privileges allow countries to avoid paying import excise taxes on certain items, a privilege almost every developing country has with the United States. Its renewal was vital, not only for Brazil, but for 111 other nations. The State Department got the message—and so, I believe, did Brazil. Congressman Smith supported Senator Lautenberg's decision to keep the pressure on Brazil until our case was resolved. The senator promised to do his best for as long as he could. That was not easy to do. In fact, the senator was threatening the global trading system and eventually would have to yield. But this was a potential game changer, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude. At great political risk, Senator Lautenberg was willing to stall a trade bill that affected three quarters of the countries of the world simply to help get Sean home.