A Death Displaced (14 page)

Why would anyone like me?

Juliet stopped typing and closed the laptop lid. She was on the sixth assignment out of ten. Deficiencies and disorders was the topic.

Sundays were the day she allowed for her Diet and Nutrition home-study course, and she had whizzed through it so far. But today she struggled.

Don’t say that, Juliet, you’re way prettier than most girls and you’re intelligent.

She put the laptop away, flopped onto the sofa, and lay on her back, eyes closed. Trying to relax, she kept having thoughts of Nicolas. He was definitely attractive: tall, dark and handsome. Those boxes were ticked. But he came across almost immature in her mind, maybe a few years younger than her.

Her ex had been older, and that was the only real attraction. Although she felt guilty for thinking it, she didn’t like the idea of having to support someone less mature.

It doesn’t matter anyway. I just want to help Samantha Crystan. I’m not interested in getting to know him.

With some fidgeting, she turned over and tried to take a nap on the sofa. Maybe she’d wake up refreshed and ready to take her study seriously.

She liked to exceed in everything she took on, and even though this course was a giant step down levelwise, she wished to continuously educate herself, rather than stagnate.

After her parents had moved to Marbella, left her the house, and bought her the café, she’d taken on a Business Studies degree with specialisms in Catering and Hospitality through distance learning, attending part time classes at Amiton College for the practical elements. At eighteen, she’d balanced full time study with running Chanton Hillview and adapting to living alone. Within three years she completed her degree, achieving a First-Class Honours. Her parents didn’t attend the graduation ceremony, though, but Kim did.

The sofa cushions grew warm with her body heat. She started to drift off, then an idea leaped into her head. How had she not thought of it before? She had the ability to see spirits and talk to them; she could see her grandmother again.

Sitting back up, she faced forwards. ‘Gran?’ she called out.

Nothing happened.

‘Gran, I miss you,’ she said more forcefully. ‘I’d like to see you again.’

Not a movement. She lumped back down on the sofa, frustrated. Why had other spirits appeared to her, but now she couldn’t even summon one of her choice? If her soul really was in the Otherworld, as Tamara had said, then was her soul with her grandmother’s? Tamara had mentioned a Spiritworld as well, are souls and spirits separate?

For the first time, Juliet positively wanted to know more about her ability.
Are souls eternal? Do I see people’s souls or is a spirit something else, like a leftover of someone’s life?

Becoming irritated she yearned to know more, but didn’t want to contemplate it. Pondering spiritually, the paranormal, or anything related was not something she’d done much before. You lived, you died. That was all she’d believed prior to the incident.
Now she was unsure, beginning to realise a spiritual side existed.

I don’t want to think about it now.

Cosy, wrapped in a slumber, her mind drifted to images of Nicolas at The Crow. His hazel brown-green eyes were captivating, but it was hard to appreciate them with the dead woman sat a few tables away. Juliet removed Rowena from her dozy-dream and imagined Nicolas’s face again.

She sprung up a sudden, opened her eyes.
What is wrong with me?

This was ridiculous. Her cheeks flamed, embarrassed? At school, she’d pitied other girls who laboured to function without their boyfriends, the ones who fell head over heels at first sight. She recalled one girl who talked nonstop about her ‘soul mate’ as if her mind was plagued: a nidus of glorified images about a boy; he makes me complete; I’d do anything for him; I can’t live without him; he’s the one.

Those girls were pathetic.

But now Juliet couldn’t stop thinking about Nicolas.
Maybe I can feel that way about someone?
She laughed aloud, but was too contrary to feel pleasant.

As if the excitement and dread of visiting Grendel Manor wasn’t enough to think about, now there was a possible infatuation towards a guy she hardly knew.

Am I infatuated? I’ve never felt this way before.

‘He saved you.’

Juliet screamed. She was so deep in thought that the sudden voice frightened her. Turning her head, she found Rowena Howard stood behind the sofa.

‘Don’t feel guilty,’ Rowena said in a wispy voice.

‘How do you know what I’m thinking or what I’m feeling?’ It hurt to talk after shrieking so loud. She braced; the spirit could have come for revenge. Could spirits harm the living?

‘I see things differently now, or maybe not
now
.’

Rowena’s spirit wore a dark green velvet robe, wrinkled, covering her legs and feet. Around her neck, and resting between her breasts, she wore a necklace. It was silver and had two crescent moons on either side, facing opposite directions to one another. In the centre was a clear circular gemstone that Juliet assumed was meant to represent a full moon.

Wondering why spirits were clothed at all, Juliet thought,
Do they appear in the clothes they died in or do they chose their own apparel?

‘How did you die?’ asked Juliet.

The air surrounding the spirit vibrated noticeably faster. It shimmered and twitched. ‘I was stood by the wall in the upper grounds, looking out at the view from up there, and I thought I heard sounds, like metal crunching, but there was nothing. I sensed an invisible force that was approaching me fast. And then it threw me over the edge.’

Rowena walked casually around the downstairs living room. She stroked her ghostly hands across the furniture, and it seemed to glow a little with her touch.

‘I’m so sorry.’ Juliet shook her head. ‘I was meant to die. Not you.’

‘It’s okay. Now my body is dead, I’m not sure the deities I worshipped were real.’ The spirit laughed and it had a ringing echo to it.

Juliet, with her limited knowledge on religions, figured that Rowena had been a Pagan (
of some form
) in life, and so could have worshipped many gods. ‘You’re happy that you’re dead?’

‘Does it matter? I can’t do anything about it. I spent my life constantly wanting more, never being content with what I had. Now I see things clearly.’

‘Why did you mention Nicolas saving me?’

‘Because you two belong together. I see that.’

‘I barely know him.’ Juliet wasn’t one for romance stories. She didn’t believe in soul mates, she believed in freedom of choice.

‘You don’t trust in a reason for your being saved?’ Rowena asked in a rhetorical manner.

‘Things don’t happen for a reason. They just happen. The only things that make a difference are hard work, determination, and trying your best. If you want to do well, that is.’

Rowena didn’t reply, but instead smiled and gave a genial shrug of her shoulders.

Compressing her lips, Juliet looked down in thought. Then she said, ‘What did you mean when you said,
I see that
? How could you know?’

‘I’d say … windows, overlapping. Fragments, reflections. I was adopted. I didn’t even know.’

‘You’re talking gibberish.’ Juliet frowned. ‘Where are you? Are you in the Otherworld? Do you know where my soul is?’

‘I don’t know where I am,’ apathetically, she replied.

‘What about my soul?’

‘I’ve never seen a soul.’ She shrugged again. ‘Juliet, I’m ready to move on.’

‘Move on? What do you mean? Move on to where?’

‘I don’t know.’

An unknowable panic came over Juliet. She’d hoped for clearer answers, a better understanding, but this spirit didn’t appear to know much at all. Apparently she could
see things clearly
now, but she didn’t know where she was or where she was going.

‘Can I do anything for you?’ asked Julied hastily. ‘Pass a message on to your family or something?’
Anything to lighten this guilt
, she thought.

‘Everything is as it should be.’

The spirit of Rowena began to come apart at the edges. She dissipated, particles floating in every direction. The tiny pieces absorbed into the furniture, the floor, the ceiling, becoming a part of everything. Or did they pass through it all and disappear? Move on to another reality?

Juliet squirmed as the fragments tingled through, against, and into her skin. The room zinged with a potent energy as Rowena fell away into wavering bits of a spirit body. Surfaces gleamed, and Juliet thought she could hear the gentle tinkling of bells, calling for Rowena. 

Eventually there was nothing left, yet Juliet sensed a strange closeness to the spirit, like they were one, part of the same nothingness and a piece of everything.

Rowena Helen Howard had smiled the whole time she dispersed. There was no way of telling how long it took; time hadn’t seemed to matter. At the beauty of it, Juliet came close to tears, comforted in the knowledge that spirits could ‘move on’, that they weren’t forever stuck in some kind of limbo world.

But even the magic of the moment hadn’t convinced her of Rowena’s words.
You two belong together
. How could she know that?

Chapter 11

The house chores that should have been done throughout the week were pleasant pastime for Sunday. As Nick cleaned the house he thought about Juliet, as he ironed his clothes he thought about his ability to see the future and if he would gain control of it, and as he washed the dishes he thought of how unreasonable he’d been the night before.

The best way to make up for how he’d treated his dad would be to find out the truth about his mum’s death. He tried to bring forth what little he knew about Grendel Manor, based on stories people told.

Apparently just one man lived at the manor. Some thought the place was haunted, and there were tales of people going there but having no recollection of it. Also, there was one story of a keen businessman who, after visiting the manor, closed down his business and gave his money away to strangers in the streets. The finer details were unknown to Nick, but then it was only gossip.
Far-fetched gossip.

The mystery surrounding Grendel Manor didn’t instil much faith in him, but there was no way he would back out now.

Another thing on his mind was how he’d taken Juliet’s story of his mum without any doubts at all. He’d trusted her simply because he’d seen the future, and to him that made her phenomena possible.
She could be up to anything
, he thought. And if she 
was
 telling the truth, then were there other people with her ability?

His world felt larger all of a sudden. There could be people with all kinds of powers: telekinesis, telepathy, pyrokinesis, sixth sense, psychic healing, astral projection. Or even other beings, not entirely human.

Whatever could be out there, he really 
wanted
 to trust Juliet. He thought she was beautiful and that there was something different about her. Well, obviously, she saw ghosts. But that wasn’t what he meant.

It had been ages since he’d liked anyone. He’d dated someone for a few weeks about a year ago, but had never really clicked with her. In his life, he’d only ever had one long term relationship. And it was awful, mostly.

Kerra Evans was her name, and Nick had been seventeen at the time. They were together on and off for almost two years. He had never trusted her and was afraid he wasn’t good enough, that she’d leave him for someone else, or simply because she was bored of him. His insecurities led to arguments again and again.

Later in the relationship, Kerra cheated on him with one of his best friend’s at the time, Alex Campbell, but Nick had stayed with her, believing he deserved as much. He just didn’t want to lose her. But a few months down the line, Kerra cheated on him again. They argued and she told him he had pushed her away, that she had wanted to love him but he never let her.

They decided to split up and Nick felt down for a long while. He found himself crying a lot in his spare time, and hating being at home around his dad. Both things were too much to handle together, so that’s when he moved out.

Living away from his dad was supposed to help him feel better, but he still wept often, and each time felt like the end of the world. Eventually he spoke with his doctor who referred him to see Caroline, and he’d being seeing her since.

He didn’t get depressed much anymore, but kept seeing Caroline because he enjoyed the self-development side of it. Even with the improvement in mood though, there wasn’t much meaning to his life and he wanted something bigger and better.

But things were changed now. He’d had a vision. There was meaning, he was different, he was special.

On Monday morning he drove to Chanton. His Vauxhall Corsa made unpleasant sounds that did 
not
 inspire confidence. It took almost twenty minutes to get there, and Juliet was waiting where at the spot they’d agreed upon. She wore black wedge boots, navy skinny jeans, and a thick black jumper.

Nick had on a thin hooded black jacket that he’d had for years, a plain blue Primark tee-shirt, dark jeans, and black winklepickers.

Pulling up on the side of the road, he rolled down the window and waved Juliet’s attention. She spotted him, hastened towards the car, then opened the door and sat in the passenger’s seat.

‘Hi,’ said Nick, but before Juliet could reply there was a loud clunk.  A crow had landed on the bonnet. Juliet yelped and put her hands to her heart. The crow looked through the windshield, cawed at them, and then flew out of sight.

‘Well … that’s a good start to the day,’ Nick said morbidly.

Juliet laughed, which brought a smile to Nick’s face. They caught each other’s eyes, and then Juliet looked ahead to the road. ‘Are we ready to go?’ she asked, looking out the window as if they were already moving.

‘I’m ready if you are.’

‘I’m ready.’

Nick didn’t speak at first, and neither did she. Chanton was at the northeast of the island, and Grendel Manor was somewhere to the northwest.