“I was just going to say that when I went to the shoe and boot place in Topeka today, I overheard someone say that Paul’s wife, Rachel, is moving back to Pennsylvania to be near her sisters.”
“I guess that makes sense, since she has no family living here now that Paul’s gone.”
Priscilla nodded and handed Loraine a paring knife. “Now what’d you want to say to me?”
Loraine’s mouth puckered. “Ella came into the hardware store this morning.”
“That’s nice. How’s she doing these days?”
“As well as can be expected, under the circumstances.” Loraine picked up a potato and started peeling it really fast.
“Slow down some, daughter.” Priscilla touched Loraine’s arm. “We’re not in that big a hurry to get these potatoes done.”
“Sorry, I’m just feeling a little frustrated right now.”
“What are you frustrated about?”
Loraine started peeling again. “As I was saying, Ella came into the store, and she mentioned seeing you leaving the Lambrights’ place this morning. Said you’d even waved at her.”
Priscilla’s neck grew warm, and the heat quickly spread to her face. “Uh ... jah, I stopped by there on my way to Topeka.”
“But the Lambrights’ house isn’t on the way to Topeka. You’d have had to go out of your way to drop by there.”
“That’s true enough, but I hadn’t been over there since Wayne came home from the hospital, and I thought it would be good if I dropped by to see how he was doing.”
Loraine tipped her head. “Did you talk to Wayne?”
“Jah. You’re right about him being depressed.”
Loraine flicked a potato peel that had landed on the counter into the sink. “Did he mention me?”
Priscilla shifted from one foot to the other and then leaned her full weight against the sink. “I ... uh ... guess your name did come up at some point during the conversation.”
“You didn’t say anything that would make things worse between me and Wayne, I hope.”
“No, no, I’m sure I didn’t.” Priscilla glanced around, wishing she had some excuse to leave the room. If Loraine kept questioning her like this, she was likely to blurt out everything that had been said between her and Ada after Wayne had left the room.
“Well, I’m glad to know you didn’t say anything that might hinder our relationship, because I’m going to try real hard to just be Wayne’s friend and not pressure him about changing his mind.” Loraine smiled, although it didn’t quite seem genuine. “I think it’s just a matter of time until Wayne and I are back together.”
Jake’s heart pounded and his knuckles turned white as he gripped his steering wheel. Ever since he’d read about the accident several of his friends had been in, he hadn’t been able to think of anything but how quickly he could get home. After he’d left the store in Libby, he’d gone to the ranch and dropped off the horses he’d bid on at the auction. Then, after explaining things to his boss and saying he wasn’t sure when he’d be back, he’d thrown most of his things in his truck and started for Indiana.
As he neared the town of Middlebury, he had a decision to make. Should he stop and see Loraine first or go straight home to his folks?
I have to see Loraine,
he decided
. I need to know if she was hurt in that van accident.
Sweat dripped off Jake’s forehead as he turned off the main road and started down the Millers’ driveway.
Maybe I should have called first,
he thought as he parked the truck near the barn.
No, they might not go out to their phone shed and check their answering machine regularly. Besides, after I’ve been gone so long, Loraine’s probably angry with me and might have told me not to come by.
Drawing in a quick breath to help steady his nerves, Jake stepped out of his truck and sprinted to the house. He’d just lifted his hand to knock on the door when it swung open.
Jake moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. “Is ... uh ... Loraine here?”
Priscilla’s mouth hung slightly open as she gaped at him. “Jake Beechy. I—I didn’t realize you’d come back to Indiana.”
“I just got here. Read about the van accident and came right home. Is Loraine all right?”
“She’s fine—only a few bumps and bruises.” Priscilla’s forehead wrinkled. “Some of the others didn’t fare so well, though.”
“Who all was hurt?”
Priscilla opened the door wider. “Let’s go inside. It might be best if I let Loraine tell you about it.”
Jake’s heart hammered as he followed Priscilla down the hall. Just outside the kitchen door, she turned to him and said, “I’m sure whatever you have to say to my daughter you’d like to say in private, so I’ll just leave you two alone.”
When she disappeared into the living room, Jake wiped his sweaty hands on the sides of his blue jeans, sucked in a deep breath, and stepped into the kitchen.
Loraine had just begun setting the table for breakfast when a young man with short-cropped, dark brown hair, dressed in blue jeans and a matching jacket, entered the kitchen.
Loraine’s hands trembled so badly that the spoon she held clattered to the floor. “Jake.”
He took a step toward her. “It’s good to see you, Loraine. I came as soon as I found out about the accident.”
Afraid she might topple over, Loraine sank into a chair at the table. “Wh–where have you been?”
“I’ve been working on a ranch in Montana. I had been to a horse auction and was on my way back to the ranch when I read an article in
The Budget
about a van accident in northern Indiana.” He flopped into the chair across from her. “Your name was mentioned as one of those who’d been riding in the van, but it didn’t say whether you’d been injured or not.”
Loraine’s head began to pound, and she closed her eyes tightly, hoping to halt the pain. In all the time Jake had been gone, he’d only written her two letters. He had promised he’d come back and would stay in touch, but he hadn’t kept his promise. Of course, she’d promised to wait for him, and she’d broken that promise as well.
She could still see the way Jake had looked at her that last night they were together. She could hear his contagious laugh and even smell the licorice on his breath....
“Loraine, there’s something I need to tell you.”
The urgency in Jake’s tone caused Loraine to shiver.
“What is it, Jake? Why are you looking at me so seriously?”
Jake directed his horse and buggy to the side of the road and reached for Loraine’s hand. “I ... I’m planning to go away for a while.”
“Go away?”
He nodded. “My cousin Sam, who used to live in Illinois, moved to Montana a few months ago, and ... uh ... I thought I’d spend the summer with him.”
“Which Amish community in Montana did Sam move to?”
“None of them. Sam’s working on a ranch in Montana for an English man who raises horses.” Jake swallowed so hard that his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “I want to try out the English way of life for a while—before I make a decision about joining the church.” He paused and swiped his tongue across his lower lip. “The wages the man is offering per week is more than I can make working for my daed in a month, so I really can’t pass on this opportunity.”
Loraine’s mouth hung slightly open. “What?”
“I said—”
“I heard what you said. I just can’t believe you said it.”
“It’s not like I’ll be gone forever. Probably just for the
summer, that’s all.” He squeezed her fingers and gave her one of his winning smiles. “You’ll wait for me, won’t you?”
Loraine sat, too numb to say a word. If Jake left now, what would it do to their relationship? She’d thought he’d been on the verge of asking her to marry him. She’d thought he would join the church this fall. If Jake went to Montana to work for an Englisher who raised horses, he might never come back.
“Say something, Loraine. Will you wait for me or not?”
Tears welled in her eyes. “For how long, Jake?”
“Until I come back to Indiana.” Jake pulled her into his arms and kissed her on the mouth. “Just a few months, that’s all,” he whispered.
Loraine drew in a shaky breath and nodded slowly. “Jah, Jake. I’ll wait for you.”
“Loraine, did you hear what I said?”
Her eyes snapped open. “What was that?”
“The article in
The Budget
said that some people in the van had been seriously injured, and that three of them were killed. Who died, Loraine? Was it someone I know?”
Her throat constricted, and she had to swallow a couple of times before she could speak. “Katie’s boyfriend, Timothy Lehman; Ella’s brother, Raymond; and our driver, Paul Crawford are dead.”
Jake groaned as he slowly shook his head. “I’m really sorry to hear that.”
“Ella suffered a mild concussion, Andrew broke his arm, Jolene had damage to her auditory nerves, and Wayne lost one of his legs.” Loraine paused a few seconds, hoping she wouldn’t break down. “The rest of us had bumps and bruises. Oh, and Katie suffered great emotional distress.”
“Hearing this news just makes me sick.” Jake kept shaking his head. “I wish I’d stayed in better contact with everyone—especially you, Loraine. I should have been here for you.”
“What happened, Jake? How come you quit writing and never came back until now?”
He dropped his gaze to the table. “I’m sorry, Loraine. I never meant to hurt you,” he said, without really answering her question. “Seeing you now makes me realize what a fool I was. I never stopped caring for you. I was just so wrapped up in—”
“I’m engaged to Wayne.”
“What?”
“I said I’m engaged to Wayne.”
Jake’s eyes widened as he lifted his gaze. “I had no idea you were seeing Wayne, much less planning to marry him. I—I can’t believe it.”
“When you quit writing, I was brokenhearted.” Loraine paused again and drew in a shaky breath. “Wayne was there for me, first as my friend, and later, as the man I fell in love with.”
“You’re in love with Wayne?”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t be planning to marry him if I wasn’t.”
Jake sat several minutes, staring at her in obvious disbelief. “Guess I don’t have anyone to blame but myself for that.” He plopped his elbows on the table and rested his chin in the palm of his hands.
“The accident changed everyone involved,” Loraine said, unable to meet Jake’s gaze. “I think it changed Wayne most of all.”
“I imagine it’s been hard for him to deal with the loss of his leg, huh?”
She nodded. “Wayne’s been very depressed and negative ever since the amputation.”
Jake tapped his finger against the little dimple in his chin, the way he’d always done when he was deep in thought. “If I hadn’t left home, you and I would probably be married by now and maybe starting a family.”
Loraine flinched. At one time, she had wanted a family with Jake; she’d loved him so much back then.
The sadness in Jake’s blue-green eyes revealed the depth of his pain. “If I hadn’t left home, that horrible accident might not have happened.”
“Even if you’d stayed in Indiana, the accident might still have occurred. You could have been riding in the van with us that day.”
Jake pulled his fingers through the top of his hair, causing it to stand straight up. Any other time, Loraine might have laughed, but not now.
“Where were you all headed to, anyway?” he asked.
“We were going to Hershey Park in Pennsylvania. It was supposed to be a fun day, but it turned into a nightmare.”
“How’d the accident happen?”
Loraine quickly related the story, then said, “Paul ran off the road and hit a telephone pole.” The memory of that day threatened to overtake her.
“If I’d known about it sooner, I would have come home right away.”
“Are you here for good, or did you just come for a visit?”
He shrugged. “I–I’m not sure. Guess it all depends on how things go when I see my folks.”
“You haven’t been home yet?”
“Nope. Came here first thing. Guess I was hoping things would be the same between us and that we could start from where we left off.”
She folded her arms. “That’s not possible.”
“I know.” Jake rose from his seat. “I’m glad you’re okay, Loraine, and I’m real sorry about the others.” He moved quickly toward the door as though he couldn’t wait to be on his way. “I’d better get going. See you around.”
Jake disappeared out the back door, and Loraine moved over to the window and watched as he climbed into his truck. Seeing Jake again had stirred up feelings she thought were dead and buried. But exactly how deep the feelings went, she couldn’t be sure.
Jake’s hands shook as he headed down the road toward home. Seeing Loraine again had brought back a flood of memories. Hearing that she planned to marry Wayne had been like a kick in the belly.
It’s my own dumb fault,
he berated himself.
If I hadn’t left home the way I did, she’d still be my girl, not Wayne’s.
He slapped the steering wheel with the palm of his hands.
I can’t believe that two of my friends are dead or that Wayne lost one of his legs.
“It’s not fair! Bad things shouldn’t happen to good people!”
By the time Jake reached his folks’ house, he was all worked up. He stopped the truck near the barn, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and headed for the house.
He found the back door open but stood on the porch a few minutes, rehearsing what he was going to say to his folks. Then, drawing in a deep breath, he stepped inside.
“Mom? Dad? Is anyone at home?”
“Jake? Oh Jake, is it really you?” Mom ran down the hall, her arms reaching for him.
“It’s me all right.” He gave her a hug.
“Ach! We’ve missed you so much,” she said tearfully. “You’ve been gone such a long time, and we’ve been so worried. We—we were afraid something had happened to you.” Mom’s voice broke on a sob.
Jake kept his arms around her and patted her back until the sobs subsided. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“Well, you should be sorry!”
Jake whirled around and saw his father step into the kitchen. His face was red, and deep wrinkles creased his forehead. He obviously wasn’t as happy to see Jake as Mom had been.
Jake took a step forward. “It’s good to see you, Dad. I’ve missed you and Mom—and my brothers and sisters, too.” He glanced around. “Where is the rest of the family? Are they at home?”
“Vern, Kyle, and Elmer are at school,” Mom said. “Marilyn and Jeffrey both have jobs in Middlebury.”
Before Jake could respond, Dad shook his finger at Jake and said, “Where have you been all this time?”
“I’ve been working at a horse ranch, just like I said in the letter I wrote when I first got to Montana.”
Dad snorted. “One letter in nearly two years! You didn’t even give us an address where we could write to you. What were you thinkin’, Jake? Didn’t you care enough about your family to keep in touch? How could you be so selfish and immature?”
Jake wiped the sweat from his brow. This was an inquisition—not the kind of homecoming he’d hoped for.
“I asked you a question!” Dad bellowed. “Why didn’t you stay in touch with us?”
“I—I was afraid you’d pressure me to come home before I was ready.”
“Are you ready now?” Dad stared at Jake through squinted eyelids.
“Maybe. If I can get my business going.”
“What business is that?” Mom asked.
“I want to breed and train thoroughbred horses.” Jake smiled. “That’s what I’ve always wanted to do.”
“Humph!” Dad grunted. “Shoein’ horses isn’t good enough for you anymore, huh?”
“It’s never been about being good enough,” Jake said. “I want to do something I enjoy, that’s all.”
Mom gave Jake a questioning look. “Does that mean you want to build your business here and join the Amish church?”
Jake tapped his chin as he contemplated the best way to answer her question. “I can’t make a commitment yet. I need to wait and see how it goes.”
“What’s wrong?” Dad hollered. “Are you opposed to our plain and simple lifestyle now that you’ve been out in the modern, English world?”
“It’s not that. I just can’t make a decision about my future right now.”
Mom gave Jake’s shoulder a little pat, as if in doing so, he would know that what he’d said had been good enough for her. “Are you hungry, son? Would you like me to fix you something to eat?”
He smiled. “That’d be real nice. Danki.”
“At least he hasn’t forgotten how to speak the Dietch,” Dad muttered.
Refusing to let his father’s cool reception rile him, Jake followed his mother to the kitchen. He’d have a little something to eat, then head over to the Lambrights’ to see Wayne. He only hoped he’d have a better reception there than he’d had here and at Loraine’s.