A Christmas to Remember (28 page)

“I
gave
myself a chance. That’s as far as I go. I don’t want to kill someone the next time.”

“Well, there’s certainly no danger of that if you stay behind that counter, working as a waitress. You’re not going to save anybody’s life back there either, unless they need the Heimlich maneuver.”

His words were a bit harsh, she thought. He seemed frustrated with her. He probably thought he would come in here and talk her into going back. What he didn’t understand was that even his kind, encouraging words couldn’t change the fact of her failure. She wished he would give up and go.

As if understanding her silent request, he stood up and put some bills on the counter.

Lucy pushed them back at him. “Don’t be silly, Jack. I can buy you a coffee.”

He ignored her, leaving them. “One more thing. Do you remember Helen Carter?” Lucy nodded. Of course she remembered Helen.

“She’s started chemo and her prognosis is good. She asked about you and said to tell you that you really helped her at a moment in her life when she needed it. She said to tell you that once she gets stronger, she’s thinking about going back to school, like you said to do. She said you were the one she would remember, the one who gave her some hope to keep going.”

Lucy looked down, avoiding his eyes. She didn’t know what to say. It was nice of him to pass on the story about Helen. That made her feel a little bit better about everything, but it didn’t change her decision.

She forced a small smile. “Thank you for coming to see me, Jack. It was very thoughtful of you.”

He pulled on his jacket and hat. “Good luck, Lucy. I hope you change your mind someday.”

“Good luck to you, Jack. Happy New Year,” she added as he walked out the door. He didn’t turn and she wondered if he had even heard her.

L
UCY NEVER LIKED TO MAKE A BIG FUSS OVER
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She liked to spend a quiet night at home with Charlie and her boys. This year was no different. If anything, she felt more determined to ignore the holiday.

The evening was shaping up to be even quieter than she expected. C.J. was going on an overnight ski trip with a friend’s family. Jamie was going bowling and then sleeping at a friend’s house. Even the Tulleys were occupied this year. It would be just her and Charlie, sending out for pizza and sitting by the TV.

On New Year’s Eve, they usually closed the diner early. There had been very few customers at lunchtime, and Lucy was nearly done with all the cleanup and prep work by half past three. She hoped that when the last two customers left, she and Charlie could close up and go home.

A woman sat at the counter, sipping tea and nibbling on a toasted corn muffin. And there was a man in a booth near the window, wolfing down a bacon cheeseburger while he worked on some sheets of accounting paper with a pencil and a calculator. She guessed from the case he had stowed under the table that he was a salesman, passing through town. She wondered if he was on his way home and where that might be. She wondered if he sold anything interesting, but for once, didn’t feel like starting a conversation.

Charlie came out from the kitchen with a tray of clean glasses
and started putting them away. “How late do you want to stay open?” she asked him.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I could use a nap before dinner. I’ll never make it to midnight otherwise.”

She wasn’t sure she would either. She and Charlie were such party animals, it was laughable.

The man in the booth raised his hand and waved but didn’t turn around. “Guess he needs something,” she murmured to Charlie. Lucy started off toward the customer then saw his hand drop sharply. He knocked over his coffee cup, spilling it all over the papers, but he didn’t seem to notice. He was clutching his chest with both his hands.

Something was horribly wrong. Lucy ran to him. Was he choking? Was he having a stroke? A heart attack?

She reached his booth and looked down at his face. His skin was deathly pale. He stared up at her, his eyes bulging. “My chest…the pain.” Before she could react, he leaned over and fell out of the booth on to the floor.

“Call nine-one-one! Charlie, call nine-one-one! It’s a cardiac arrest!”

Lucy turned the man over. With her hands under his armpits, she dragged him until he was lying flat on his back on the floor. He was a big man, overweight, and she barely had the strength to move him on her own.

She checked his vital signs and pulse. He had stopped breathing. She immediately pushed his head back, checked his mouth for any food or objects, and began to administer mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and CPR, just as she had learned in nursing school: first breathing into his mouth until his lungs expanded, then pressing on his heart with the fingertips of one hand flattened to his chest.

She didn’t stop to worry if she was doing something wrong.
She didn’t stop to think of anything. She moved on automatic, totally focused on keeping him alive until help arrived.

She suddenly became aware of Charlie crouched down beside her. “What should I do? Is he going to be all right? Is he dying, Lucy?”

“He’s hanging in there,” she murmured quickly as she compressed the man’s chest again. “How long does it take that darn ambulance to come? They’re just up the street—”

She heard the sound of the siren screaming down Main Street and saw the red flashing lights through the diner’s front window.

She didn’t stop her first aid however, knowing that every drop of oxygen was precious to this man now.
Dear God, let him live
, she prayed silently as she pumped the man’s heart again.
I don’t even know this man, but let him wake up and survive this heart attack.

The EMS workers rushed in and crouched down beside her. One slipped an oxygen mask over the man’s face, the other took over the CPR. “Good job,” he said to Lucy.

She nodded and stood up, stepping back so they could do their work. A police officer had also shown up, and he spoke to Charlie, taking down information on a small pad.

A few moments later she saw the man’s eyes slowly open. The EMS worker stopped the CPR. The man’s heart was beating on its own again. Lucy sent up a quick, silent prayer of thanks.

The man was quickly loaded onto a stretcher and taken out to the ambulance. Lucy knew that there was medical equipment in the ambulance that would keep his heartbeat stable until he reached the hospital.

During all the excitement the woman at the counter had left the diner. When the ambulance finally rushed off, Lucy and Charlie were alone. It was very quiet and neither of them spoke.

Lucy, feeling suddenly exhausted, dropped down onto a counter stool. She rested her chin in her hand.

Charlie let out a long breath. “Lucy…for heaven’s sake. Where the heck did you learn how to do that?”

“In nursing school. Where else?”

“You saved that man’s life. You really saved him.”

She couldn’t help grinning at him, despite their scare. “Yeah, I think I did.”

“He was checking out. His face was turning blue. I wouldn’t have known what to do. What would have happened if you hadn’t been here? That guy is one lucky son of a gun, I’ll tell you that.”

Charlie couldn’t stand still; he was practically hopping around the diner. He seemed exhilarated by the emergency while Lucy felt totally drained.

“You know I’m not that big on religion,” he said in a quieter voice.

“Yes, I know that, Charlie. Did you just find some?”

“Don’t you think that was a…a sign of something?”

“A sign? Like, God doesn’t want us to serve bacon cheeseburgers anymore? Too much cholesterol?”

“Not me, Lucy. I’m talking about you.”

“What about me?” She frowned at him, though she could guess what he was getting at.

“You saved a man’s life. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“Of course it does.”

“Admit it, Lucy. You loved doing that. You loved saving that guy’s life.”

Lucy laughed at him. It had been fun in a strangely dramatic way. “It was simple first aid. Everyone should know CPR.”

“Maybe they should. But most people don’t have the interest
in those things, not like you do. You should have seen yourself. You were really something. I hardly recognized you.” He shook his head, looking genuinely impressed. “So serious and determined. So professional. You were…like another person,” he admitted quietly.

That was the way she felt when she was nursing, she wanted to say. Lucy couldn’t deny that she had been happier feeling she had some higher goal, some greater purpose to her life.

“Well, it’s over now,” she said. “I hope that guy does all right.”

“Yeah. That’s a great way to start the new year, with a heart attack.”

“It’s a tough break,” she agreed. “But sometimes when bad things happen, it’s for the best. It’s a warning of something that could have been even worse, right?”

Charlie was staring at her now. “I guess that’s true.”

She suddenly felt self-conscious. She could tell he was thinking about her training and what had happened at the hospital. She didn’t want to get into all that again. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah, I’ll shut the lights off and lock up.” He didn’t move from where he stood, though. “Lucy, I’m sorry. I never understood what it meant to you. I never really…got it. But watching you keep that guy alive just now. Wow. I guess I finally do.”

Lucy felt grateful for his admission. And sorry it had been so long in coming. “Better late than never,” she said quietly.

“Is it too late, do you think? Couldn’t you call somebody at the school and see if they’ll give you another shot?”

Was Charlie suggesting that she go back to school? Lucy thought she might fall right off the stool.

“Now you’re saying you want me to go back to school?” She stared at him, but he didn’t answer. “What about the house being
a mess and managing the kids? If I’m working at a hospital, it’s going to be even longer hours,” she warned him.

“I know. But better that than watching you walk around looking so unhappy. If you’re home and miserable, we’re all miserable. Even if we have enough clean underwear. Besides, I hate to see you quit. You’re not a quitter, Lucy. A quitter never could have stayed married to me this long.”

She finally smiled. “You got that right, pal.”

“Maybe I’ve always known you could do it, but I just didn’t want you to,” he confessed. “Maybe I thought that if you finished your college degree and got to be a real nurse, you’d be moving away from me.”

He sighed and looked down at the floor. She could tell it was hard for him to admit this to her. It was hard for her to hear it.

He took a breath. “It was selfish, I admit it. I guess I felt I was losing you. Now I see, I’ve lost you anyway. And I want you back. I want you happy again. I know you could do this if you just try. Look what you did just now, just clear out of the blue.”

He walked up to her and took her hand. Lucy looked into his eyes, wondering a bit at just how much his bold admission and unexpected vote of confidence meant to her. More than he would ever know. She had never told him about Jack Zabriskie’s visit the other day. It was funny how Jack’s words hadn’t moved her, but Charlie, who had always been undermining her, was the one who was able to get through.

“So, what do you think?”

“I appreciate what you just said, Charlie. It means a lot to me.”

“I meant every word. That’s still not an answer.”

“I’ll think it over. Maybe I’ll call my advisor on Monday and see what she has to say.”

“That’s a start, Lucy. That’s a good start.” Charlie nodded approvingly.

Lucy smiled at him. “Life is very fragile, Charlie. It wasn’t me that saved that customer. It was the man upstairs.”

“I know. But you have to take some credit. You sure helped Him out tonight. I’d give you an A-plus.”

He leaned over and hugged her and Lucy hugged him back. Gosh, life was strange sometimes. Wasn’t it?

L
UCY KNEW THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULD BE SLEEPING IN ON
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Year’s Day. Charlie, though, was unusually eager to get to church. Lucy wondered if witnessing the near-fatal heart attack of a man about his own age had scared him, but she didn’t ask.

The church was nearly empty, as she had expected. Tucker, who was a deacon, showed them to a seat near the front.

“Happy New Year, everyone. I wish you all a blessed, peaceful, healthy year to come,” Reverend Ben greeted the congregation.

His sermon was about New Year’s resolutions. Lucy had made a few of those over the years and broken most of them. She wondered if Reverend Ben had some advice on how to actually keep them.

“What do you think God is thinking, watching us make all these lists for self-improvement? I’ve sometimes wondered that. God loves and accepts us with all our faults, no matter how much we stumble and fall. No matter how quickly we give up on our resolutions and self-improvement plans, or even give up on our hopes and dreams, God never thinks we’re failures.”