A Brush of Wings (32 page)

Lexy rolled up her sheets and set them aside. She slid the bed back into the sofa and placed the cushions neatly across the bottom and back. Next she positioned the decorative pillows.

As soon as the couch was back together she grabbed her phone from the table and sat down. She pulled up Ramon’s texts and read the last few again.

Girl, I know you can see these. I’m looking for you. I love you. I never thought you’d run like this. Hit me up.

The text had come in late last night. Hours before she was set to go home. Which meant maybe this was the perfect time to see him again. Just once. She could see whether he’d gotten nicer and whether he’d changed his mind about the baby. Then she could tell him that maybe someday they might have a chance. But for now she needed to make a life for herself. Away from the gang.

Yes, that might be worth a visit. A short visit.

Maybe he would want what she had found. And then he could try to find his way out of the gang, too. And one day, the two of them could be together again.

It was all she could think about ever since she woke up. She read his text once more and then before she could stop herself her fingers began flying over the keys. She was still trying to become a better reader. But she could get by on text.

Hey, it’s me. I’ll be at my grandma’s for Thanksgiving later today. Maybe you could stop by. We could talk. You choose. I miss you, Bae.

She shouldn’t send it. If Sami were sitting beside her, she’d be so mad. Lexy could almost hear Sami and Mary Catherine telling her to put her phone down and forget about Ramon. He wasn’t good for her. He had hurt her, abused her.

But hadn’t she also hurt him? She left without saying goodbye. They never even had an official breakup. What sort of girlfriend just disappears the way she had? She hadn’t told Ramon where she was staying or how come she moved. It was like she had vanished from life altogether.

He deserved at least a final hangout time. And Thanksgiving was one of the best days to meet up.

Everyone was in a good mood on Thanksgiving.

She hit the send button and then slid the phone in the back pocket of her jeans. She was four months along now, but still not showing. She wouldn’t have to tell Ramon about keeping the baby. Not if she didn’t want to.

Lexy stood and went to the kitchen. She unloaded the dishwasher and then sat at the kitchen table. It was eleven o’clock, almost lunchtime. Mary Catherine and Sami had gone to Marcus’s house to help get ready for their big dinner. Again they had invited her.

But she needed this time.

She’d been reading some of the Bible verses Sami had given her the first week she was here. Verses about strength and courage and hope because of Jesus. She needed to remember all of that because she’d made a decision. One that would affect her life and the life of her baby.

Last night she’d asked Mary Catherine if she and Marcus would come early to pick her up. She needed to talk to them. The time was right. Mary Catherine was doing so much better. She looked really good. The doctor said she could live with the mechanical heart for lots of years.

Sure, she had to take care of herself and plug her battery pack into the wall each night and she couldn’t swim. But other than that Mary Catherine seemed as healthy as anyone else. Lately she and Marcus had started taking walks to the beach again. Mary Catherine said she felt like she could walk all the way to San Diego. So that had to be good.

There was just one thing she couldn’t do with a mechanical heart.

Mary Catherine couldn’t have a baby.

Lexy put her hand over her stomach. It was still flat, but she could feel something growing there. The doctor said her baby would be strong and healthy. Already they could tell that. It was too soon to know if the baby was a boy or girl, but Lexy didn’t mind. She wasn’t going to find out. Why make things hard on herself?

The baby wasn’t hers. It never would be.

Tears came from nowhere and made her eyes hurt. She breathed deep and tried to imagine life after the baby. Would she stay with Sami or Mary Catherine? The Wayne family?

Or maybe . . . if Ramon was nice to her . . . she would move back with her grandma and her mama. The three of them would be different now. Her mom was clean and her grandma was happy and Lexy . . . well, she could take online classes. The three of them could go to church together. And if Ramon was okay with her having a baby, maybe they’d get married. Do things right. It could work.

They were happy thoughts, but for some reason she was crying.
God, why am I so sad?

Lexy heard the sound of people talking outside the door and then the key in the lock. Marcus and Mary Catherine walked in and saw Lexy sitting at the table. They could probably tell she’d been crying.

“Hey.” Mary Catherine set her keys down on the table and took the seat beside Lexy. “What’s wrong?”

Tears blurred Lexy’s eyes. She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

Marcus sat down on the other side of Mary Catherine. The two of them looked worried.

Lexy shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyelashes. “I’m fine. I’m happy, really.”

“Okay.” Mary Catherine put her hand on Lexy’s shoulder. “You still wanna go to your grandma’s house for Thanksgiving?”

“Yes.” Lexy sniffed again and looked from Mary Catherine to Marcus. She was making the right decision. This was the best thing for her and the baby. She had no doubts. “I’m ready.”

Marcus put his arm around Mary Catherine’s shoulders. He looked at Lexy. “You feeling okay?”

Lexy shook her head. She needed to just say it. But after this she couldn’t change her mind. She took a deep breath. “I’ve made a decision about the baby.”
Not my baby,
she reminded herself.
The
baby. She had to think about it the right way. Otherwise she wouldn’t make the best choice. It didn’t matter what Ramon thought, or whether he had changed for the better. Having a child inside her made her wish—in some ways—she could keep it.

But she couldn’t do that. Her baby deserved the best life.

She rushed ahead. “I’ve been thinking about how I didn’t have an abortion and how I want to give my baby up for adoption.” Lexy looked at Mary Catherine and then Marcus.

They were both quiet, waiting.

“Anyway.” Lexy felt the tears again. “I’ve decided.” She paused. “I’d like to give my baby to you both.”

Mary Catherine leaned into Marcus, like she might fall off the chair if he wasn’t there. “Lexy . . . what do you mean?”

“I’m placing this child up for adoption.” She felt stronger just saying the words. At the depths of her heart she believed this was best. “I’m not ready to be a mama. Maybe in another five years or ten. After I go to college and stuff. But not now.”

“So.” Marcus’s eyes were wide. “You want us to take care of your baby until someone adopts him or her? Is that what you’re saying?”

Lexy shook her head. “I’m saying . . . I’d like you and Mary Catherine to adopt my baby.” She hesitated. “If you want a baby this soon. I’m due in mid-April.”

Mary Catherine turned to face Marcus and at the same time he wrapped his arms around her. At first it looked like they were only hugging, but then Lexy could see Mary Catherine’s shoulders shaking. After a minute, Mary Catherine turned back to Lexy and brought her close.

Finally she pulled back and stared at Lexy, right through to her heart. “You really mean it? You want us to adopt your baby?”

“I do.” Lexy was crying now, too. “I have this crazy love for this child already. And since I can’t be a mama, I prayed about who the very best mama would be. And I thought about you.”

Lexy stood and got a box of tissues from the kitchen counter. She brought them back to the table and handed one to Mary Catherine, who was still crying. She looked really long at Lexy’s face. “Are you sure? You want to do this?”

“I’m sure.” Lexy felt much better now that her decision was out in the open. “My baby will have dark skin.” She smiled at Marcus. “Like you.” She wiped her eyes with the tissue. “People will think you’re his real parents. I like that.”

Again Mary Catherine hugged her. “We never imagined this.”

“Not at all.” Marcus still had his arm around Mary Catherine’s shoulders. They both looked shocked. “Can you give us a day to talk about it? So we’re on the same page.”

“Of course.” Peace—warm and calm—spread through Lexy’s body. “I prayed. It seemed like God really wanted me to ask you. But if it’s too soon or if you don’t want to adopt, that’s fine.” She smiled. “Sami told me that somewhere out there, God had the perfect parents for this baby. She was sure.”

“I’m sure, too.” Mary Catherine dried her eyes again.

Lexy hoped she was right, and that God had handpicked Mary Catherine and Marcus for her baby. But if not, she believed that there was a husband and wife somewhere praying for a baby.

For now, it was time for her to go to her grandma’s house. And if things went like she hoped they would, sometime later today she would see Ramon for the first time in months.

Lexy had a feeling it would be the best Thanksgiving ever.

SINCE HEARING THE NEWS
from Lexy, Mary Catherine hadn’t been able to stop her tears. She wasn’t sobbing or breaking down with emotion. The tears just kept coming. One or two at a time, with every thought about Lexy’s unborn baby.

They dropped Lexy off at her grandma’s house and then headed straight to the stadium. The place where Marcus said he could think more clearly. Marcus called Tyler and told him they’d be a little later than expected.

Something had come up.

MARCUS USED HIS KEY
to let them in and they found a place on the bleachers near the top of the stadium. Where the sky felt close and God felt closer. They didn’t talk about the baby until then.

“I’m in shock.” Mary Catherine leaned her head on Marcus’s shoulder. After a few moments, she looked up at him. “Did you see this coming?”

“Never.” Marcus shook his head. “I had no idea why she wanted us to come over early.”

A warm Santa Ana wind whispered through the stadium. Mary Catherine narrowed her eyes. “When I was in Africa—a few months before I came home—something happened.” Mary Catherine turned so she could see him better. “A local mother had died, and someone brought her newborn baby to our orphanage.”

Mary Catherine remembered how the baby felt in her arms. The warmth of his little body against hers. “I held that child for the longest time.” She pictured the moment. “One of the volunteers made a bottle and I fed him.” Mary Catherine lifted her face to the sky, to God. “Marcus, all I could think was how that would never be me. I’d never hold my own baby and feed him and know what it was like to be a mommy.”

They were quiet, letting the dramatic, unthinkable possibility dangle in the air between them. Marcus put his arm around her. “So what do you think?”

“Adopting a child . . .” She sniffed and shook her head. “It’s not something you can make a quick decision about.”

“Exactly.” Marcus took her hand and eased his fingers between hers. “That’s why I brought you here.”

She angled herself a bit more and put her free hand on his shoulder. “But you already know how I feel, right?”

“You’d adopt that baby in a minute.” Marcus had tears in his eyes now. “You would’ve signed the papers right there at your breakfast table.”

“Yes.” Mary Catherine nodded. “It’s sooner than I thought.”

“A lot sooner.” Marcus ran his finger and thumb along his brow. He laughed. “But so what. Who says there’s a right time to have kids?”

Mary Catherine faced the ball field again. A slight bit of laughter came from her. “You were the one who said you’d have kids now or ten years from now.” She grinned at him. “Remember?”

His look was deeper than before. “I meant every word.”

“So we get married in a week and bring home our first baby in April?” Mary Catherine still couldn’t grasp the possibility. “What about my heart? We both know—”

“Shhh.” Marcus held his finger to her lips. “Don’t.” He shook his head. “God saved your life. He gave you a device that will pump blood through your body for a decade. And sometime along the way you’ll get a heart transplant.”