A Bright Particular Star (52 page)

It was some time
before
Mrs
Sloane was well enough to be transported back to her hotel.
Recove
ring from her faint
and disposed
full length on the sofa
, she had
moaned faintly, unable to speak until a copy of the
Morning Post
and burnt feathers had been waved under her nose, and she
had swallowed some of the brandy
held up to her lips
.
She then
demanded
in a wavering
voice to be taken
to see Peregrine
, until she was persuaded the
journey was not advisable
at this hour and in her
agitated state.

Harriet, who had
by now
gleaned a great deal
abou
t
Olivia
’s
treatment
at Ludstone
, put aside her poor opinion
of
Mrs
Sloane
and
offered to
accompany
her
back to Fenton
’s
.
Once there,
Harriet
stayed
until sh
e was satisfied that Eudora
was as comfortable as coul
d be expected
and
a
ssured that lady
she would be taken to see her son first thing tomorrow morning
.

While Harriet was
attempting to calm
Mrs Sloane
’s
ragged
nerves,
Sir Seymour and Theo
had
r
etired to the study
in Grosvenor Square
to
discuss events
over a glass of burgundy
, leaving Sophie alone with Olivia.
Olivia had been quiet throughout the scene
with her mother
and
remained withdrawn since
.
Her eyes held a stricken lo
ok
.

“
L
ivvy, are you alright?
”
ventured Sophie at last.
“
I’m
sorry you had to hear
about Perry
in this fashion
.
It must have come as a dreadful shock
.
”

“
Not as much as you might think,
”
she murmured
,
“
I
already knew what he was
.
”
After telling Sophie about
her conversation
with
Mr
.
Grey,
Olivia
added
with a disconsolate shake of her head
,
“
What
I did n
ot
realize
, and what distresses
me most, is the
lengths he would go to.
I thought I knew hi
m,
but i
t seems
I never did.
”
Her eyes lifted to
Sophie
’s
.
“
I
believe he is a little deranged
.
”

“T
here is
a kind of
madness in his soul,
”
she agreed
,
“
but y
ou are not al
one in being fooled by him
.
He fooled us all.
”

“
Yes, even poor Mama.
The revelations are worse for
her because she dotes on him.
She has
always
indulged
and petted Perry
, and considered
him beyond
reproach.
And now this.
”
Olivia twisted her hands in her lap.
“S
ophie,
I fear for
her
reason in the mont
hs to come.
She has been un
kind to me, but I
could not help feeling sorry
for her this evening.
”

“
You have the swee
test, most generous nature
,
love,
but don
’t
be too forgiving.
They don
’t
deserve it.
It will take time, but
somehow
Eudora will have to
come to terms
with what Perry has done, and what he is.
And
Perry will have to accept
his punishment.
T
hey are not your responsibility.
”

“
But what about the scandal?
”

“S
ir Seymour
has vowed to
suppress
any gossip
,
and
I kno
w he will succeed
—
his
appearance belies his competence.
”
Sophie
then
grasped Olivia
’s
hands
between her own
.
“T
here is s
omething else
.
I hardly know how to tell you
, but you have a right to kno
w.
I
ndeed, you must
,
because it explains so much
.
”

Olivia l
istened in silence
while Sop
hie told her
the truth
about her birth
.
W
hen she
h
a
d finished, Olivia stared silently into mid-distance
until
s
he gave a
sudden,
shattering sob and flung herself into Sophie
’s
arms
.
She conti
nued crying
for some minutes, during which time Sophie
spoke soothingly but
did not
urge her to
stop, reasonin
g it was better to let the
tempest
pass
.

As
Olivia
’s
sobs subsided
at last
,
Sophi
e murmured
,
“
Oh love,
I’m
so
sorry!
You are dreadfully upset, as I knew
you must be.
Everything you
ever
believed has
turned out to be false
.
How do you feel?
”

“
I
-I
don
’t
know,
”
admitted
Olivia
,
getting to her feet and
blowi
ng her nose.
“
I
suppose I
am sad, bu
t relieved at the same time.
M
any things make sense
n
ow.
If only I had known earlier
!
For years, I tried
to make Mama like me
.
As time went on
I accepted she never would, but I could not understand why she hated me so much.
”
She looked at Sophie, t
ears
sparkling
on the end of her lashes
as she whispered,
“
T
his changes everything, doesn
’t
it?
”

“
Why should it?
”
said Sophie
softly
.
“
I will always love you
dearly
, nothing will alter that.
Eudora will not want to adve
rtise the truth and n
o one
else need ever know.
”

“
Perhaps, b
ut
wor
d may get out
and
I
will k
now.
I cannot continue living
a li
e.
”
She hiccupped on another sob.
“
Oh, I need time to think!
Sophie, do
you mind leaving me alone for a
while?
”

“
Are you sure that is what you want?
”
asked Sophie, wrinkling her brow
.

“
Quite sure.
”

She gave Olivia
’s
hand a reassuring squeeze.
“
Of course
.
I
’
ll go upstairs and change.
Naturally you
ne
ed time to adjust to this
news, b
ut
pray
don
’t
let it
affect your
con
fidence
.
Y
ou
are your own delightful self
. I
t does not matter
who
your parents were.
”
She gripped Olivia
’s
fingers
a little tighter.
“
Promise me you won
’t
get
too
upset while I am gone.
”

“
I
’
ll try
,
”
agreed
Ol
ivia with an
attempt at a
smile.

Sophie
hugged her
hard
and
went out, leaving Olivia
alone.

****

Olivia
sank down on the
sofa
and f
or
a
long
time she sat in silence,
clasping trembling hands together
,
her
emotions
turbulent
and confused
.
As she
struggled
to come to terms with her
true
identity and her past,
she found
it was
her future
that
troubled
her most.

Sorrow
enveloped her like a shroud
.
This
news had annihilated a
ny
dreams she might have
secretly cherished
.
And a
ny chance
of
happiness.
The cruellest blow
of all was that
only
hours earlier she had glim
psed heaven
on earth
.
She had
relived those kisses over and over again, the way
Luc’s
lips had brushed against her skin and set
her body and her mind ablaze
.
No kisses had ever been sweeter, or deeper, or expressed so much that words could not.

But n
ow heaven on ear
th had been
denied her forever.
Broken dreams and
unending
l
oneliness
str
etched ahead
, and the world was suddenly devoid of beauty.
Olivia hated self-pity, but she
wondered
what she had
done to deserve such misery and how long it took to die of a broken heart.
Life was unfair, she
’d
always known that.
She just hadn
’t
appreciated
how much until today.

A
bsently pleating the rose-coloured
silk
skirt
of her gown
,
some sixth sense made her look up.
She started
and let out a gasp
.
Luc
Grey stood motionless
in the shadows near
the door,
watching her
.
She
had no idea
how long h
e had been there
.

“
Luc
!
”
she whispered.

“
Miss Sloane
…
Olivia.
”

“
You came back.
”

“
I promised I would,
”
he said, his voice
low.

He came towards her
then
, his profile stern, his body
held rigidly in check.
The
atmosphere was in sharp
contrast to their last meeting.
Luc
seemed
ill-at
-
ease
and more reserved
than ever
,
while Olivia
could only stare
at him
,
conscious
of
overwhelming
grief
for what might have been
.

“
H-How is Perry?
”
she managed to stammer
at last
.

“S
eriously injured
,
”
he admitted.
“
H
is leg is badly broken
and the danger to his life has not
yet
passed
,
but
he
is being cared for in a kinder
fashion
than he
deserves.
You know what
happened?
”

She nodded.
“S
o does Mama.
She was here when Sophie and Theo arrived.
”
Olivia did not correct her slip
.
I
t still felt strange to think Eudora was not
her mother.

As Luc sat down opposite her
, Olivia saw
the extreme
we
ariness etched into
his face.
She longe
d
to
smooth th
ose lines from his brow, to bring
the
elusive sm
ile back into
his eyes
, but she could not.
Not now.
Not ever.

“
I see.
”
His gaze, which had not wavered from
hers si
nce entering the room, fell
and a
sigh brushed past
his lips.
“
Y
ou blame me
,
of course
.
Do not regard it.
I understand how difficult it must b
e
.
It scarcely matters now, but believe
me when I say
I wish
things
had turned out
differently
.
”
He closed his eyes
for a moment
, saying in a barely audible voice,
“D
o you hate me
now
?
”

“
Hate you?
”

“
Your brother may be a
thief
, but he nearly died
today
because
of m
e
and
at best
he
will be a cripple for life.
How can you love the man
responsible for
that
?
”
He clenched his hand
into a
fist and pressed it to his lips
.
“
It was my duty
to pursue him
, and I despise
him for the way he
has
treated you
and your cousin
,
yet I
wish with all my heart the outcome could have been different
.
He is still your brother.
As soon as I
’
ve
seen Sir Seymour, I
’
ll leave
. Y
ou
must want me out of your sight.
”

She could
see
his eyes
were
moist
.
“
Luc, I
—
”

He held
up his
hand, saying,
“
Before I g
o
, I must
and will
speak freely.
My way of life has made me a man
of independent habits, Olivia.
I
have become so accustomed to solitude
and self-containment
that I
do not fin
d it easy to express my
feelings,
especially the
most profound,
but
for you, I will try.
Y
ou
were prepared to
trust
me
earlier
when you knew nothing about
me
.
I determined then
that you would know everything, and soon.
That time has come and
f
or once
,
I
am uncaring about
my position,
my duty
,
my orders
or
any
consequences
…
you deserve
the truth.
I
’
ll begin with
my name.
I call myself Luc G
rey, but my full name is Lord Lucius Alexander Warwick du Grey.
“

Olivia
’s
eyes opened a little wider
.
“
I sensed
you were not quite
as you pretended to be
.
So
,
this is one of your
many
secrets?
”

He nodded.
“
My twin brother Darius
, who is the elder by te
n minutes, is the
current
Duke of
Merton.
You may have heard of him.
”

“T
he famously reclusive Duke?
”
said Olivia, her brows rising.
“
Lady Dinniscombe
mentioned him
.
She said he
is a solitary figure who
has not been seen in s
ociety for some years.
I did not
realize
he was your brother.
”

“
I do not advertise the fact,
”
said
Luc.
“
In my line of work, it is advisable
to be as inconspicuous
as possible
.
This,
”
he added with the hint of a
smile, point
ing to the ribbon of white
among his dark locks,
“
is
a family trait, and
a severe drawback to tho
se efforts.
I often
use
dyes to conceal it.
”

“
And that mark on your che
ek?
”
she asked softly, acknowledging
to herself
how much she had grown to love the little crescent shaped mark.

“
A powder burn
from a rifle
.
I was an officer in the
Light Dragoons, then the
95
^th
, before
being appointed
an Observing
Officer
.
”

Shock flitted over her face.
“
You went b
ehind enemy lines?
”

“
Very often, alongside my regular duties
.
I was attached to
Wellington
’s
Intelligence Services
.
A hazardous occup
ation,
but one I found I excelled at
.
I speak French fluently, and
had
taught myself Spanish during the early months of the
Peninsula campaign
.
I led small
reconnaissance patrols
,
probing deep behind enemy lines to gather
information and reporting by letter to Wellington himself on enemy numbers and movements
, and the topography of the area
.
At other times, I led my men into battle.
Fuentes d
’
Onoro, Badajoz, Cuidad Rodrigo, Salamanca
…
I saw action at them all.
After Waterloo, I
returned home,
sickened of war and deat
h and in need of
a
new
cause
.
“

He then repeated all he and Sir Seymour had told Theo, adding,
“
When I was approached b
y Sir Nathaniel
with
his offer to work under the auspices of
Bow Street
it
ap
pealed to
me
, although
I expected my duties to be
relatively mundane.
I did not think to find
as
much evil and
violenc
e in
England as I had enc
ountered during the war
but it is
here, hidden in the hearts of men for whom crime is
a profession
.
”
He grimaced as he observed
,
“
I have been kept
busy.
”