A Beautiful Rock (4 page)

I have to admit, I’ve spent the last two weeks looking over my shoulder. I keep expecting Marcus to pop up again and get in my way. Thankfully, he seems to have gone away – all has been quiet on my end. No random notes or visits to my home. So after five days of silence, I’m starting to feel safe.

What is it about a man like Marcus that makes him think it’s ok to
flit in and out of a person’s life as he sees fit. I specifically told him that I didn’t want him to chase me, yet he did it anyway. Then I rebuff him again, then he shows up at my house touting ideas of friendship and then disappears again… I don’t get it.

I mean, I don’t
particularly want him in my life – that’s one thing I’m fairly sure of – but I don’t get why he’d go to the trouble of finding me and then… nothing…

I guess it’s all just the typical attitude of the good looking and famous
– they can have anything they want, why work for it?

Forcing thoughts of Marcus from my mind, I prepare m
yself for my Friday night. This week, I’m planning a night in. Actually, who am I kidding? I plan pretty much every night in. I don’t really go for whole nightclub scene. I never really have. No… I lie. Once upon a time, I was a bleached blonde and I went to parties and nightclubs a lot. But, after going out constantly from the moment I could get past the bouncers, it all got very boring and repetitive. I never understood how my friends could keep repeating the same night out, over and over. Eventually I just stopped going. I guess that’s why my ex found it so easy to cheat on me. While I was at home, he was out partying  - with other women…

It still hurts to think about it. Jonathan and I became an item
just before I began Uni. There was this huge New Years Eve party going on, and my friends convinced me to go. He took care of me when I got a little too drunk and seemed to me to be the perfect gentleman. He was beautiful to look at, exciting to talk to, and took his time getting to know me.

He made me feel wooed and slowly he became my world. I seriously thought that we would be tog
ether always. We got along well. We had planned out what our life would be like together. We were going to have two perfect children and be the best parents ever… What a fairy-tale! I can’t believe how naïve I was back then.

The last I heard, he was engaged to some girl who could easily be my doppelganger
– she looks exactly how I did back then. I guess he has a type. Well… two types. He wants a ‘good girl’ to wait for him at home, and doesn’t ask questions while he ‘sows his wild oats’ with his other type – anything with a pussy and two legs.

I shake my head, and
for the second time tonight, I force thoughts of self indulgent men out of my mind. I broke up with Jonathan over a year ago. He’s nothing to me now. Really, I should thank him – he opened my eyes and taught me that romance, love and a happily ever after are all just piles of shit we’re fed as kids to give us hope that the world is still magical. But it isn’t. It’s full of lies, deceit and disappointment, and the faster we get used to that, the better off we’ll all be.

Picking up my remote, I power on the television and flop down on the couch. Perry immediately climbs up next to me and rests his doggy head on my lap. I select the latest Jason Statham movie to rent then reach out for my glass of wine while I wait for it to load.

I take a sip, enjoying the cool, sweet liquid as it tantalises my taste buds and slides down my throat, that first sip of relaxation after a long week dealing with picky clients.

Absentmindedly, I sip at my wine and scratch Perry’s head as the movie starts
, opening with a fight scene in the middle of a London street – perfect. No love stories for me. I don’t believe in them anymore…

“You know what you need right?” Craig says, as he walks with me to my car.

I flip my key over my finger and let it slap against the palm of my hand. “I know you’re about to enlighten me.”

His blue eyes reflect the lights of the car park that also make his strawberry blonde hair look even redder, as he turns to me and rubs his hands together as if he’s warming them up so he can use them to talk. Craig is a big hand gesturer when he talks. I swear that one day he’s going to knock someone out with those flailing arms of his. I often wonder if it’s because he’s a bit on the short and freckly side, so he tries to compensate for his lack of height and looks with an over the top personality and lots of money.

“I am. And remember that
I know best. What you need, is a ton of pussy. I can’t help but notice that you’re a little on edge lately. And I also can’t help but hear the rumours about you saying no to more than a few girls. That’s not good for a man Marcus. Your balls are going to explode.” He holds his hand up and opens his closed fist for emphasis, mimicking an explosion in his throat.

Chuckling, I shake my head as I open my car door. “I don’t need a ton of pussy, Craig. I’ve had a few ton’s worth of pussy in my lifetime already. Maybe I just want one pussy
for a while.”

Craig laughs at me and shakes his head. “You? With just one pussy? That’s like saying… I don’t even know. It’s so fucking wrong that I can’t even think of an analogy for it. You’ve lost your mind dude. You are not a one pussy man.”

“Goodnight Craig. I’ll see you Monday,” I say, ignoring him as I climb into my car and shut the door. Craig continues to shake his head as he walks toward his own car. I guess I can’t blame him for laughing at me. It’s not like I’ve ever had a steady girlfriend. I don’t even know if I’m capable of having a relationship.

The closest I ever came to one was when I gave up groupies to
try and show Naomi I was worthy of her. And look how that turned out…

Since seeing her, I can’t get her parting words out of my head.
“I hope your fame keeps you warm at night Marcus.”
It’s been ringing in my ears as I step back and take a look at my life. All I can see is a man who has everything, and no one to share it with.

At the crux of it,
I just know that I’m tired. When I think about it, I’ve been screwing around since I was sixteen years old. I’m now twenty-five. That’s eleven years of senseless fucking.

I know, I know. It’s most guy’s dream come true. And, until recently, I’ve loved it. I mean, who doesn’t want to get lost between the legs of a beautiful woman?
But like everything in life, repetition breeds boredom. I’m tired of going through the same routine, day after day, night after night.

That’s why when I pull up outside Lisa’s house, I’m glad to see the inside lights on. It’s time for me to experience
something real.

Engrossed in my movie, it
isn’t until Perry jumps off the couch and starts barking that I realise that someone just knocked on my door. Picking up the remote, I hit pause and shoo Perry out of the way so I can see who’s there.

Glancing through the peephole, I close my eyes and wish away my visitor. Nothing good can come of this. “I’m not home,” I call out
, feeling slightly annoyed that he’s here. Again. What part of ‘I’m not interested’ isn’t he getting?

“That’s ok,” Marcus replies. “I’ll just wait out here until you get back.”

Despite my annoyance, I can’t stop my mouth from quirking in a slight smile at his response. “You’ll be waiting for a while. I’m not sure what time I’ll be back,” I reply, watching him through the peephole.

He smiles
and leans against the door. “Ok,” is all he says, as he pushes back and moves to sit on my front steps.

I assume that he won’t stay there for too long and
move back to the couch to continue watching my movie.

“Perry,” I call, trying to get my preferred companion to
re-join me on the couch. But he won’t budge from the door. He just sits there, looking at it, then at me as his tail wags impatiently. "I'm not letting him in. So you're wasting your time."

Perry starts whining then lifts his paw to scratch at the door
. “Seriously Perry, what is your deal with this guy?" Perry responds by looking at me with his sad doggy eyes and continues to whine.

I roll my eyes
and walk back over to the door. “Perry, if you still had your balls we’d be taking a trip to the vet after this. You’re supposed to be loyal to your owner. Not to some guy you’ve only met once.”

Seeing me place my hand on the
doorknob, Perry’s tail starts to wag like crazy. I’ve never seen him so eager for me to let a visitor in.

“You might as well come in. My dog would like to see you,” I say as I open the door.

Marcus stands immediately and turns his charming smile toward me. “Your dog?”

“Yes
. My dog.”

I stand aside as he walks in and immediately kneels down to scratch Perry behind the ears. “Oh you’re a good dog aren’t you?”

As I shut the door, I realise that I’m not really dressed for visitors. I’m just wearing black lounging pants, a white singlet top and an oversized cardigan with my ugg boots on my feet. My hair is twisted up in a messy bun on top of my head and I don’t have a scrap of makeup on my face.

“Well, you two have fun. I’m going to go and finish my movie.”  I walk back to the couch and take a seat before pressing
play again.

“Is this the one where he’s into the nun?” Marcus asks, as he sits down beside me. Perry
, the little traitor, jumps up beside him and lays his head on Marcus’s lap. Once again, my eyes roll.

“She’s not a full-
on nun. She was forced to become one. It’s not quite as sordid as you think,” I reply.

We sit quietly for a while, watching the movie together. This just feels so strange. There’s a man in my house, who I barely know and my dog would rather be pet by him than by me
… I reach over and take a rather large gulp of wine.

As I place the glass down, I notice Marcus looking at me. “Oh… Do you want some? I mean, I know I said you can visit with Perry, but since he can’t offer you a drink
, I guess I should…you know, to be polite and all…”

“Sure.”

I hit pause again and head to the kitchen to fetch a glass and fill it for Marcus. I also return to the lounge room with the rest of the bottle to refill my glass – I’ll need more wine if I’m going to get through this visit.

He thanks me when I hand him his glass and proceeds to watch me refill mine.

“Do I make you nervous?” he asks.

I lift my now very full glass and gulp down almost half of it. “Not anymore,” I say, tilting my gla
ss toward him.

He nods slowly and takes a sip from his own glass. Perry just lifts his eyes and looks at me. He seems so at home right now
.

I remain standing, still holding my glass while I use the other to wrap my cardigan tighter around my body. “Why are you here Marcus?”

“I told you. I want us to be friends.”

“Why?
You can be friends with anyone.”

“That’s not true. It’s actually very hard for me to find a friend. Everyone wants something from me.”

“So this is because I didn’t know who you were the other day?”

He nods slowly. “That’s part of it.”

I move and sit on the single lounge seat instead of right next to him, tuck my legs up and take another drink from my wine glass. My head is starting to feel the dizzying effects of the alcohol, helping me to relax during this odd visit.

“I looked you up
. I know who you are now,” I tell him, narrowing my eyes a little.

“Ok. Who am I?”

I blow out my breath slowly. “Existentially – I don’t even think you know the answer to that question. Your life seems to be too fast paced for you to have any idea.”

“Who am I theoretically then?” he asks, watching me over the rim of his glass as he takes another sip.

“Theoretically, you’re a typical rock star. Your life seems to revolve around parties and women - none of them keeping your attention for long. You’re constantly on the move, and beside the fact that you’re in your home town now, I’d hedge a bet that you’ve spent a hell of a lot of time not knowing where in the world you are…”

He nods and drops his attention to Perry as he runs his fingers over the dogs
golden hair. “Call me Carmen Sandiego,” he smiles, making light of my assessment. 

“I um, saw that YouTube video. The one with your old band.” He nods again, but doesn’t take his eyes off Perr
y. “Why did you do that to her? In the beginning, you say that you love her and then you humiliated her. Why did you do that?”

“There’s a thousand articles out there explaining what happened Lisa. If you looked me up you would have seen them.”

“Ok. Truth time?” I say, setting my glass down on the table beside me.

He nods.

“I only did an image search on you. I wanted to see how many women you were pictured with.”

He grins.
“I see.”

“There were a lot.”

He nods again.

“I mean – heaps.”

“I know, Lisa.” His eyes meet mine for a moment and I see a flash of something in them. He wants me to stop talking about the women, but it’s not that he’s annoyed, it’s more like he wants to forget about them.

“Anyway, I found a bunch of pictures with you and your old band
as well. And they led me to the video. That’s all the information on you I have.”

“Ok.” He frowns slightly, and I notice the muscle in his jaw tick.

“Listen. If you’re going to push this friend thing on me, then you’re going to have to do your own talking. I’m not going to read articles on you just to learn what the world knows about you. If you want to be my friend, then let’s do this like regular people. You share. I share. We build a friendship.”

“That’s a bit of an
about-face. Earlier you told me I was only here for Perry.”

I shrug. “Well, it doesn’t help Perry if I refuse to get along with his friends. So you
played the ‘dog likes me’ card and won. You’re in. I accept you.”

He laughs, and the sound is almost musical.
“I’m flattered.”

“Just don’t push this friendship thing ok? I want to keep this all on the
down low. I don’t want my face in the papers or the magazines. If someone asks you if you know Lisa Russell, I want you to say ‘who?’ I don’t need my life turned upside down just because you need a friend.”

“Ok. I can accept that.
”

“Good. Now, I want you to tell me about that video and then we can let the whole fame thing go.”

“Why are you so interested in why I did it?”

“Because
, she looked mortified. I don’t want to be friends with someone who would do that without a very good reason.”