R
uby had been
on edge all day, and she didn’t know why. Well, that wasn’t necessarily true. She knew why she was on edge and felt so uncertain. Ever since Gavin had anal sex with her, which had been a couple of days ago, he had seemed to distance himself from her. He still slept beside her, still held her, but she felt his detachment. Had she done something wrong, had he realized she wasn’t what he wanted? All these questions slammed into her head, over and over again.
Ruby couldn’t explain the hollowness that she felt, and often found herself staying in her room and looking at the windows, watching Drika tend to the grounds. This sudden change in him just didn’t make sense, especially with what he had said to her, and all the things they had done together.
Turning away from the window, she moved over to the bed and sat down. Maybe Gavin had found another woman that he enjoyed more than her. Maybe he really was as bad as she originally thought, and wanted a harem of females. Maybe he had just been breaking her in, making her trust him, want him, and then he’d turn his back and show her that she truly was nothing. But no, even after thinking that, she knew it wasn’t the truth. She tried to rationalize that he was busy with work, and maybe that was why he was giving her this cold shoulder. Talking to him had gotten her nowhere. He dismissed her questions as if they meant nothing, but she had glimpsed something shift behind his eyes. Emotion maybe? Either way, she was starting to feel like an outsider, which sucked a lot since she had finally come to terms with the fact that she wanted Gavin.
There was a knock on her door and she stood and clasped her hands behind her back. The door opened and Gavin stood on the other side, wearing a black pinstripe suit. The white shirt and bloodred silk tie stood out, making him look powerfully controlled. His cufflinks flashed as the sunlight hit them.
“How have you been, Ruby?” He stared at her stoically. He was the master of keeping his composure and not showing his emotions, and right now he had a wall in front of him. Ruby couldn’t very well say they knew everything about each other. God, she hated not knowing why he was acting like this, and had gone cold on her.
“Have I done something wrong?” she asked for what seemed like the hundredth time, not bothering to answer his question. Her clear disobedience should have earned her some kind of delicious punishment, but this isolation from his attention was painful.
“Why would you think that?” He didn’t move from the doorway. Her anger mounted at the lack of emotion he showed. So she acted out.
“Because you’ve done nothing but ignore me for the last few days. Ever since you fucked me in the ass.” She felt her face heat from her crass words. She had always been more reserved, even living with a mother that was anything but. But she didn’t fear punishment from Gavin, didn’t even want it right now. At this moment she was angry and hurt, and felt like she had been discarded.
“You’re acting like a child again, Ruby.” Her hands shook from her emotions, and she pressed them flat on her outer thighs.
“Maybe I am, but I don’t give a fuck.” She would not cry, not show an expression, although the latter was already a fail. “How can you do that to a person?” He lifted a dark eyebrow. “How can you take someone, make them want you, care for you, and then just push them aside without any reason or explanation?”
“I always have a reason for what I do.” That pissed her off even more, and she moved closer until they stood toe to toe.
“You bought me, took me to this place, and away from my life—”
“You didn’t have a life before I came around, Ruby. You were just surviving.”
The tears she had tried to stop fell now, and she brushed them away. “You’re a bastard.” She said those three words on a whisper. She expected him to grab her, turn her around and spank her ass until she couldn’t sit. That pain would have been welcome. But what he said in response surprised her.
“Yes, I am, Ruby, but I never claimed to be anything else.” He took a step toward her, but she held her ground and looked him right in his cold blue eyes.
“How do you see yourself?”
“W-What do you mean?”
“How do you see yourself in my life? Do you think we are a couple, that you’re my girlfriend?” He moved a step closer and she took one back. “Do you think I will take you on dates, introduce you to people I know?” He took another step, and she kept retreating. “Do you see yourself as my wife?” Her tears were falling faster, and her vision was blurred. “Answer me.” He yelled out those words and she flinched from the anger in them.
“I guess I didn’t know what I thought.” That was a lie. She hadn’t thought they would get married or anything like that, because what she felt for him went deeper than a certificate could declare, even after only a few weeks. But maybe he thought she had seen them as going out or something. She was so much younger than him, and clearly she had just been his little pussy to play with as he pleased. God, that hurt to think about.
He moved away from her and nodded slowly. “Well, we need to rectify that then.” What the hell did that mean? He reached out and grabbed her arm, tugging her forward and out the door. She had to all but run just to keep up with his quick, long strides, and soon she found herself down the stairs, out the front door, and shoved into the back seat of the limo. Ruby righted herself just as Gavin sat down and closed the door behind him. The limo pulled forward and she pushed her hair out of her face and looked at him.
“What are you doing?” He didn’t answer, but then again he wouldn’t even look at her. Minutes later they were pulling onto the airstrip, and he was hauling her out the door. “Gavin, what are you doing?” She dragged her feet, but he was stronger than her and easily pulled her along. Then they were on the jet, and she was pushed onto one of the leather seats. She was still crying, because all she could think about was that he was taking her back to those human trafficking guys. “Why are you doing this? What did I do?” He finally looked at her, and she saw a flicker of emotion pass over his face.
“You didn’t do anything. I’m taking you back to your old life, Ruby, since the only reason you are here is because you were taken from it.” The doors closed and it was a few minutes before the plane started to taxi.
“You don’t want me anymore?” God, he wanted to take her back to that shitty world. She had nothing, nowhere to go. There was a time not long ago at all that she would have longed for this day, but now she hated it.
* * *
Ruby had fallen
asleep a couple of hours ago, but they were due to land soon. Gavin leaned back, with only the one overhead light on in the main cabin. He watched her, saw the way her chest rose and fell under the light pink floral shirt she wore. He had been hard on her, had been very cold toward her for the last few days, but he had been doing a lot of thinking. After he had taken her, had used the pearls on her, all he could think about was the fear of her leaving. The words that Adelbert had spoken to him had been cemented in his mind. He wanted her, fuck he wanted her with his last breath, but he had a terrible fear of losing her. The only way he knew to ensure that she stayed with him, that their bond was solidified, was to take her back to her old life and have her decide if she wanted him or her freedom.
Maybe it wasn’t the best-laid plan, because in reality she could leave if she wanted to even if she chose him, but at least he would know that she was with him of her own free will. The plan descended and landed, and after twenty minutes they were allowed to exit. “Ruby, darling, wake up.” Over the past few days he had kept his distance. He hadn’t shown her affection, but it hadn’t been a punishment, just a way for him to get his thoughts in order.
She roused herself, rubbed the sleep from her eyes, and then after a few seconds realized where she was. She sat up straighter and he looked into her face. He hated that she looked so forlorn. “We’re here?”
He nodded. Her mother’s trailer was a twenty-minute ride from the airstrip.
Once off the plane and in the limo, he took note that she stayed to herself, wouldn’t look at him, and said nothing. “I have something for you.” When she looked at him, he reached for the small, dark duffel beside him. He handed it to her and she seemed reluctant to take it. “I am not leaving you without anything. Inside there is money to help you until you’re on your feet, legal documents, and clothing.”
“Why are you doing this?” She took the bag, but there was so much pain in her voice it broke his heart.
“I’m not doing this to hurt you, Princess.” She shook her head and looked out the window.
“Yes you are. You thrive on the pain of others.”
He didn’t respond for a minute because it was true to an extent.
“I just want you to know that you have a choice. That I am giving you a choice.”
When she looked at him there was anger in her face. “If that was what this was about why make this big production? Why ignore me, make me feel unwanted, and that I did something wrong?”
“Because I needed to think, and needed you to realize that you do have a choice in how your life plays out. I don’t want to let you go, don’t want to know that you might leave me because you never had the option to go back to your life. That was a fear I was holding on to.”
She stared at him, not saying anything, but he saw in her face she understood what he was saying.
They rode in silence the rest of the way, but he didn’t press her for conversation or her thoughts. He had said what he needed to, and it was up to her to make her choice. When the limo pulled to a stop in front of her mother’s shitty trailer, Ruby opened the door and climbed out. It was very late, but lights shined through windows that looked like newspaper stood in for curtains. The neighborhood was rundown, falling apart, and debilitated.
Gavin reached out right before Ruby excited and grabbed her wrist. She stopped and looked over at him.
“I am not discarding you.” He had to make her see that, and he’d say it over and over again. They held each other’s gaze. “I just want you to know that you have a choice. You are not my captive, no matter how much I liked the idea. Maybe I shouldn’t have treated you as anything but the treasure you are to me, but I did what I had to do to make you realize that you have options, and to have me understand that you needed to pick what you want in life.” And he would keep telling her that until it was so solid inside of her that she never doubted it. The anger slowly drained from her face. “And I do care for you, darling. So very much.” Her breath hitched, but she said nothing, just nodded.
He hadn’t meant to go soft right before she walked away, because he knew it went against the grain of who he was and how he had tried to distance himself from her. He never claimed to be a good man, or a noble one. He was who he was, and didn’t apologize for it. But seeing her walk away had anger and pain the likes of which he had never felt before moving through him at an astounding rate. She pulled her hand away, climbed from the back of the limo, and shut the door behind her. All Gavin could do was watch her walk away and hope she ended up choosing him, even though she hadn’t been given a choice in the beginning.
* * *
Ruby stared at
her mom’s trailer. It might have only been a few weeks that she had been gone, but the life she had led with Gavin made this place look even worse. She felt Gavin watching her even though the doors were closed and the windows tinted. She took a step forward, not knowing if she actually planned on going in there or if she was just forcing herself to move away from the limo and the life it promised. Although she hated that he had thought he needed to act that way toward her to make his point, and for her to understand what she needed to do, she was starting to realize that she was thankful to be given a choice. Of course she was still angry, and hated how everything had played out, but if she was going to have any kind of life then she couldn’t rely on anyone but herself.
A man stumbled out of the front door of her mother’s trailer, a bottle of liquor in hand. He scratched his protruding belly and belched loud enough that she heard it over the music. It wasn’t one of the men she had seen her mother with when Ruby lived there, so this must be a new piece of shit boyfriend. The guy leaned against the warped and rotted banister of the porch and chugged half of the alcohol from the bottle. She heard her mom yell something, but Ruby had already taken a step back. This had never been her home.
Turning, she saw that Gavin was now out of the limo and standing beside the open door. His face showed nothing, but his eyes held deep affection, and she could have sworn fear. “This isn’t the life I want. It isn’t the life I
ever
wanted.” She had known that when she first left, but seeing it again made it that much more permanent.
“Tell me what you want, Princess.” Gavin had always been so strong, but right now he sounded almost…fragile. Ruby looked at the fat slob still leaning against the railing, looked around at the rundown and already half-dead neighborhood, and knew that she had never belonged here. Looking back at Gavin, she didn’t see his money or his expensive suits. She didn’t think about the life she had with him across the ocean in his huge mansion. All she thought about was that
he
was the only one that had made her feel like she was worthy, and that what she wanted wasn’t wrong. He accepted her, and embraced what she wanted, because that was what he wanted, too. Their lives may not have coalesced in the best of ways, but she believed everything happened for a reason. He was the man that she had grown to care for and to trust. She didn’t want the bag of money that she held, or to go somewhere else if Gavin wasn’t there.
“I want
you
.” She moved toward him and he immediately embraced her.
“I just wanted you to come to me of your own free will, darling.” Ruby closed her eyes and just absorbed the feeling of being in his arms. “Let’s go home.”
As long as she was with Gavin, that was exactly where her home was.