A Beautiful Forever (14 page)

“I can’t believe this! After all she did to me!
She
gets to have her happily ever after! This is
bullshit
!” I screech,
shaking with the rage I feel at seeing my mother again after so many years. “I
hate her Elliot, I hate her so much that I can’t even breathe through it!” I
start to pace up and down the room as he sits on the edge of the bed watching
me as I rant. “She looked for me!? Bullshit she looked for me! It’s been
10
years!
You’re telling me she couldn’t have gone through every Paige Larsen
in the phone book a thousand times by now!? Who the fuck does she think she
is!?
Everything
that has happened to me is her fault, she was my
mother
!
She was supposed to care about me!”

I stop pacing and shut my eyes, placing my hands on either
side of my head and gripping handfuls of my hair. My mouth opens and a wretched
cry unrecognisable as my own comes from deep within me. Two firm strong arms
slip around my waist, as Elliot pulls my body against his rock-hard  chest.  I
collapse, literally. My knees give way and my body sags against him, so I’m
hanging off him, sobbing wildly against his chest. He holds me steadily while I
cry, kissing me in my hair and shushing me.

“It’s okay. I'm here. You're not alone anymore. Everything
will be ok,” he repeats like a mantra, slowly calming me down.

Scooping me up, as though I’m a child and weigh next to
nothing, he carries me over to the bed and places me gently down, smoothing my
hair out of my face. Lying next to me, he curls his body around mine and holds
me tightly, protectively. My heart aches so much right now, and I just want it
to stop, but I don’t think it ever will.

At some point, I fall asleep in his arms, overcome with the
exhaustion but filled with a comfort that only he can give me, no one else
makes me feel this way. No one else gives me hope.

I lie on the bed holding Paige tightly as she sleeps, all
the while replaying the morning over and over in my mind. Mentally kicking
myself each time. I feel like I let her down, I should have taken her home when
she asked me to the first time. I was supposed to protect her, and now I feel
like all I did was put her in a position to get her heart broken.

I run my free hand over my face as I stare up at the
ceiling, I’m a little out of my depth here, and I don’t know what to do or say
to help her. I’ve been harbouring so much hate towards my own father for using
his money to control me for so many years but at least my mother has always
been supportive of me, and really my father cares about me too – he just wants things
for me that I don’t. I feel selfish and spoilt – I was given everything while
Paige had everything torn from her when she was cast out into the world on her
own. I dread the thought of what her life must have been like since then, how
the hell did she even survive?

When I feel Paige stir, I reach over to smooth her hair away
from her face. She wore it out in her natural curl today, and it’s not keen on
being tamed. After a few attempts, her face is free, and we’re looking at each
other.

Her hand scrunches tightly as she pulls at my shirt, urging
me towards her. I slide down the bed a little so our faces are level, touching
her face softly, trying so hard to be what she needs right now.

“Kiss me, Elliot,” she whispers, her eyes swimming with more
tears she has yet to shed.

I brush my lips lightly on hers and slowly deepen the kiss
as she responds fervently. Our tongues slide against each other as we moan
softly into each other’s mouths, pulling at each other’s clothes, repositioning
ourselves, so she is on top of me, her legs straddling me either side.

She starts to move her hips against me, rubbing herself up
and down my already hard shaft. Watching her as she works, I’m lost in the
sensations of what she’s doing to me as my fingers ache to feel her skin
underneath them. Sliding my hands under her shirt, I massage her breasts,
tweaking her nipples gently as they stand erect between my fingers.

“Oh!” erotic whimpers escape her throat as she leans down,
kissing me and rocking over me. I feel close to bursting and try desperately to
keep myself calm. Removing my hands from underneath her shirt, I thread my
fingers through her hair, holding her head steady, as I trail kisses down her
delicious neck.

She has a look of pure ecstasy on her face as she rocks her
hips against mine. I don’t think I have ever been this turned on fully clothed.
Placing her hands on my chest she sits up and continues her movement, gasping
and moaning, causing my head to swim and my body to scream with my need for
her, until finally she opens her eyes and cries out, her hips stilling to a
gentle pulse before she collapses in a heap on my chest. I breathe steadily,
amazed by what I just witnessed. The throbbing in my own pants threatening to
explode each time her body moves as she’s heaving against me.

“Do you have anything with you?” she whispers breathlessly
in my ear.

“In my wallet,” I say, reaching over to the bedside table
where I’d placed my phone, wallet and keys when we arrived.

She sits up to undo the top button of my jeans and then
pulls at the button fly to pop the rest, releasing my erection. I lift my hips
as she works my jeans off my legs and drops them at the end of the bed,
removing her own jeans at the same time.

Tearing the foil open I pull out the condom and move to
apply it. “No, I want to do it,” she says, climbing on top of me and reaching
out to take the circle of rubber from my fingers.

She pinches the bubble and places it on top of my shaft,
rolling it down to the base in long languid motions. As she positions herself
on top of me, I hold my breath, waiting for her to take me inside.

Looking at me wickedly she uses my tip to tease her opening,
flinching slightly as she moves it over her clit and back again before slowly
sliding down my length. She does this little grind when she hits our deepest
point, and I moan, placing my hands on her hips as she rides me.

She is so tight as she squeezes herself around me, and I’m
excruciatingly close to coming but I don’t want this to end. Her face is
perfect as she focuses on her movement, grinding against me each time she takes
me in.

“Are you sure about this Elliot?” she whispers in between
her moans.

Gripping her firmly, I hold her hips still, stopping her
movement and getting her full attention. Her eyes focus clearly on mine and a
slight look of panic flits across her face.

“Sure about what?” I ask, slightly confused.

Her eyes close and I can see she’s on the verge of getting
upset again. “About me… about us…” she barely breathes out.

Reaching up, I take her face in my hands, keeping her face
steady so she can’t look away. “Paige, open your eyes.”

For a moment she squeezes them tighter, but I wait, gently
stroking her cheek with my thumb, until they slowly flutter open, focusing
again on me.

“I want you Paige. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I
have wanted you. So yes Paige, I’m sure. I’m fucking positive.”

Her eyes close again as she sucks in her breath, and I draw
her face towards mine, crashing our lips together as we continue or movement,
pressing our bodies together until there isn’t even a millimetre’s worth of
space between us.

She’s still wearing her shirt, so I pull it up, urging her
to take it off. She complies, removing her bra as well, dropping them down the
side of the bed before reaching down to lift my shirt.

I crunch up and remove it, dropping it with hers before I
lie back and pull her towards me, kissing her passionately. My chest aches from
the intensity of my feelings for this woman, I want to possess her, to know
everything there is to know about her, to spend every living moment with her.
But I know that, emotionally, she’s holding back, keeping herself just outside
of my grasp, and I wonder whether she'll ever surrender fully to becoming ‘us’.
I deepen my kiss, wanting to hold on so badly, knowing this could all be too
fleeting.

She starts to make noises while she kisses me, I can tell
she’s about to come again. I try not to move too much more than a small pulse
as we fully connect, letting her guide the rhythm. When she cries out, I finally
let go as well, pushed over the edge by the pleasure from her moans.

She lies down on my chest again, breathing hard, and I roll
us both so that I ‘m on top now, kissing her face, her neck. I run my fingers
over her body and enjoy the smoothness of her skin beneath my fingertips.

Placing her hands either side of my face, she guides me, so
I’m looking at her, there is such adoration in her face as she gazes up at me,
tears still threatening to spill from her eyes. I lean down and kiss each one,
tasting a slight saltiness on my lips when I do. Her hips rock up against me
and I'm instantly hard again, moving inside her, setting aside my worries and
losing myself in our blissful connection.

Being with Elliot is a heaven I never thought was possible for
me to experience. I don’t think I ever want to go back out into the real world
again. I don’t want to face the things I have to face, or speak of the truths I
have to tell. I just want to be right here, right now, connected with him –
forever.

As we lie together, naked and wrapped around each other, I
can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be. I feel like I’ve found myself in
her arms, and I don’t want to let her go.

“I’m so sorry for making you go in there. I should have
taken you home,” I say to her as she lies on my chest tracing her fingers in
between my abs as I twirl her hair around my fingers, enjoying the way it coils
around each one like a spring.

“You didn’t make me do anything Elliot,” she answers.

She sits up to talk to me, and my eyes fall to her breasts;
I don’t think I’d be a guy if they didn’t. She doesn’t speak, so I drag my eyes
back up to hers, and she’s smiling at me. But it doesn’t touch her eyes or
display any sort of happiness; it's thoughtful and a little sad.

“Are you going to be ok?” I ask out of concern, smoothing my
hand against the skin of her arm.

She looks over at closed curtains of the hotel room window
and sighs. “I just wasn’t expecting her to be there. I barely even got to say
two words to him. It feels like we wasted the trip out here.”

“There isn’t a moment of time around you that I consider a
waste Paige.”

She turns her attention back to me and looks slightly pained
as she smooths her hand down the side of my face. “You have such a beautiful heart
Elliot.”

He’s looking up at me, and my chest hurts from caring about
him so much. Why did this man have to come into my life? I was surviving fine
without him, and now I don’t feel like I can even breathe without him near me.

We have gone from meeting on a plane to being a constant in
each other’s lives in a little more than six weeks. I don’t know how I’m going
to say good-bye when he leaves, all I know is that I need to be with him,
perfect like we are now, for as long as we can. I don’t want to tell him any
more about my past, I don’t want to ruin what little time we have together.

He takes my hand from his face and kisses my palm, pulling
me down to lay beside him. His fingers trail up and down my back as he leans up
on his arm, studying my tattoo. It feels strange having someone look at it
after keeping it covered for so many years, kind of like my soul is exposed.

His voice is low and intimate when he speaks. “So is this
how you see yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you see yourself as a phoenix, rising out of the ashes?”

“Not really,” I answer, rolling over to face him.

“Well then… what does it mean? You said it’s to remind you
of everything you don’t want to be anymore. What don’t you want to be Paige?”
He sits himself up, so he’s leaning against the headboard as he waits for my
answer.

I look away from him as a tear spills from my left eye and
try to discreetly wipe it on my pillow. Taking a deep breath, I sit up,
clearing my throat.

“I just… don’t want to be who I was. It… um, it’s kind of
like my cross to bear – if that makes sense; that’s why it covers my back, and
the Phoenix means… that I hope that something good can come out of all the
wrong… that’s all.” I glance at him briefly as he studies me intently, I can
see he isn’t happy with my answer, but that’s all he’s getting for now. I just
want the next six weeks with him and then if he insists, I’ll tell him
everything, then I’ll let him go.

In an obvious move to shift his focus, I swing my leg over
to straddle him, grinning wickedly as I lean in to kiss him. He’s a little slow
to respond, but when I use my hand to stroke his shaft back to life, his kiss
becomes much deeper.

His hands move up into my hair as he pulls me towards him,
delving into my mouth with his tongue. He breaks free and holds my face away
for a moment, “We can’t go all the way this time,” he informs me. “I don’t
carry multiple condoms around in my wallet.”

“That’s fine,” I say, kissing him between my words, “we just
won’t penetrate.”

He lets out a moan as he dives back into the kiss, his
fingers in my hair and his chest pressed against my own. I can feel his shaft
hard between my legs and slide myself up the length of him, careful to avoid
the tip.

“Oh, you’re like silk,” he says into my neck as he nips at my
ear, then flips me onto my back. I laugh in surprise at the suddenness of his
movement but quickly slip into oblivion as he slides down my body and settles
his mouth between my legs.

After doing everything we possibly could to each other
without having actual sex, we both fall asleep, exhausted, and curled around
each other. It’s dark when I open my eyes to the sudden music, at first I don’t
realise where I am, but I quickly remember when I look at my phone and see
Shane’s number on the screen. “Ah, crap!” I say grabbing at it and answering
before it rings out.