52 Cups of Coffee: Inspiring and insightful stories for navigating life’s uncertainties (27 page)

Cup 52

Boogaloos in San Francisco, California

Small brewed coffee

Figure out what you love
, then find the courage to do it, and do it well.

It
’s Tuesday morning, and I’m sitting at an adorable breakfast spot in San Francisco, eating some of the best bacon and eggs I’ve ever had, and enjoying a cup of coffee that the waitress will refill at least three times before I leave.

All through
my senior year, people asked me where I’d be after graduation. I assumed I would be in a cubicle somewhere, climbing the corporate ladder on the fast track to a promotion and increasingly impressive job titles and salaries. That’s what you’re supposed to do with an expensive college degree, right?

And, if I hadn’t decided to do this crazy experiment in caffeine and conversation,
it’s probably what I would be doing; I called 52 Cups of Coffee an experiment, as I knew meeting 52 new people would inevitably change my life. I just didn’t know how.

I can tell you I didn
’t expect it would inspire me to trade the job-search for six months spent traveling to 15 different countries where each day I woke up excited about the uncertainty of where that day would lead.

During
my senior year, the uncertainty of my future after graduation created a crippling fear. My mindset was that I had one shot to figure out my life. The day after graduation was the first day of the rest of my life, and if I didn’t have the perfect plan in place (and the perfect job), I would be setting myself up for irreconcilable failure.

Where that thought came from, I don’t know,
but I know it was a real fear. I also know I am incredibly grateful for those who had coffee with me and helped me understand the irrationality in my thinking.

It started during the first
ten Cups when I realized a very noticeable trend: nobody’s life had gone according to plan. Life throws a lot of curveballs. Sometimes they’re good ones: unexpectedly falling in love, discovering a passion, stumbling into an incredible career opportunity. And sometimes they test your strength: losing a loved one, experiencing a breakup, going through a layoff or unexpected illness.

Understanding that life won
’t go according to plan leaves you with two choices: let the fear of the unknown overwhelm you, or embrace the uncertainty.

I
’ll tell you from experience that the former is easier than the latter, for two reasons:

First, it takes a lot of faith (and confidence) to embrace uncertainty and believe you can handle whatever life throws your way.
I only found faith because I had these conversations with people from various backgrounds; each reaffirming that life always works out if you've got the right approach.

The second reason is that
believing in yourself is only half the battle. The second half is execution. If you are open to go where life takes you, you can end up in incredible places. But you can’t just sit back and expect a great life, you have to go out and make one.

The magic of sitting down with strangers—putting you
rself in a vulnerable position and taking time to genuinely listen to their stories—is that you can put a story behind the advice. The advice becomes real, and it becomes personal. I have a catalog of anecdotes I now carry with me.

On days filled with obstacles, I think about
Cup 17, Piotr Pasik, traveling to Europe and playing indoor soccer, despite having limited mobility due to cerebral palsy. When my dreams feel too big, I think about Cup 36, Tom Izzo, a graduate assistant for the MSU basketball team making a $4,000 salary at age 30, dreaming about one day becoming head coach.

When I think about what I want in a career, I think about
Cup 21, Torya Blanchard, and what she calls her “Fight Club moment”—the instant she decided she was going to quit her job and cash in her 401K to start a (now-thriving) restaurant in Detroit. Then, when the fear of failure starts to sink in, I hear Cup 38, Seth Godin, saying, “You’re not failing enough. I failed countless times before I was 30—and that’s what led to my success.”

The words of Cup 13,
Dave Isbell, echo the importance of staying humble, while Cup 5, Dave Murray, reminds me that life is about more than creating a great life for yourself, it’s about giving back and creating a great life for others as well. Encountering a vibrant six-year-old evokes memories of my conversation with Cup 22, Abby Ward, an adopted Native American girl in a town without much diversity, who taught me that everyone has an interesting story, but too often we make assumptions instead of asking questions.

When I hear of tragedies, I think of
Cup 25, Betsy Miner-Swartz, losing both of her parents to cancer in a short time and how she used the love and support of family and friends to make it through the pain, one step at a time. Then I ask myself,
when was the last time I told my loved ones how important they are to me?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Every Cup has changed me. The best way to describe the change is a quote from Cup 51, Elaine Rosenblatt:
“
People need to learn to stop looking at life from the outside in and start looking from the inside out.”

When I started
52 Cups, I was obsessed with living up to other people’s expectations, with becoming the person others wanted me to be. Over the course of this project, I realized this is no way to live life. I have to look inside and figure out who I am, then decide where I want to fit in the rest of the world.

That
’s why I decided to travel.

I followed my love for travel and hoped it would lead me to the next step. And it did. When I stopped looking for the perfect job and focused on what I loved, the perfect job found me. Michigan State
’s Alumni Association offered me a six-month position, where I would visit various cities to connect with young alumni—a great position for a traveler with a love for good conversation.

And what
will happen once that job is over?

I
don’t know.

But tha
t’s okay.

Because I know that if I can continue to figure out what I love to do, find the c
ourage to do it, and do it well, life will work out, and I’ll have a lot of fun in the process.

When I set out to meet 52 new people, I didn
’t realize that the most important person I would meet was the person I became.

Dedicated to my parents,

for trusting me to talk to strangers.

Acknowledgments

This book project has been a group effort from the start. It would not exist without the 52 wonderful people that graciously shared their story with me, and allowed me to share it with others. Thank you for your time, your insights and, in many cases, your friendships; they have had a lasting effect on me.

52 Cups of Coffee project had a strong start thanks to Brett Kopf, who invited me to coffee and became a great friend (we both owe Kelley Bishop a big thank you for putting us in touch); Jeff Grabill, who helped me find my voice; and Scott Westerman, who believed in the project from day one—he also made the best introductions.

You're holding this book because of the incredible help of Kevin Liu for organizing the pages and keeping me on track and Rachel Balanon for the cover. Andrew Vilcsak, Gail Lasham, and my parents Jane and Gregg Gebhart. I don't think my dad knew what he was getting into when he volunteered to be my editor—but I'm sure grateful he did.

I was lucky to have girlfriends like Jennifer Yee, Jeannine Seidl, Rachel Balanon, Hillary Welton, Jessica Colombo, and Kelly Steffen during the adventure. Thank you for being editors, road trip companions, confidants, generous hosts during my nomadic year, and so much more.

I uncovered many of these wonderful stories thanks to the help of friends that generously made introductions for me or provided support along the way. Thank you for your help Andrew and Sandy Gebhart, Peg Ostlund, Eric Jorgensen, Jake Lestan, Henry Balanon, Avish Bhama, John Hill, Todd Ross, Bill Ward, Payal Ravani, Spencer Nordwick, Richard Ward, Emily Winter, Robin Miner-Swartz, Amanda VanderMeulen, Kelly Bennett, Christine Garland, Jim Cotter, Piotr Pasik, Kim Gebhart, Vivian Leung, and Abigail Henson.

This is a non-exhaustive list. There are countless family members, friends and readers that liked, shared, and co
mmented on the original blog posts. Those positive words of encouragement were invaluable and kept me motivated to keep writing.

Thank you.

About the Author

Megan Gebhart
is a storyteller, speaker, and writer. Originally from Wyoming, Megan attended Michigan State University, where she immersed herself in a community of daring entrepreneurs and began entrepreneurial ventures of her own.

In 2010 Megan created 52 Cups of Coffee, a website de
dicated to the power of connection. What started as an experiment to have coffee with a stranger every week for a year turned into a global exploration filled with serendipity and stories that teach us that finding ourselves is a journey that               can last a lifetime.

Today, Megan continues to meet and profile inspiring people. She share
s their stories and lessons at conferences and colleges throughout the United States to inspire others to reach out and connect with new people over coffee.

You can tell
Megan about your own cups of coffee on Twitter
@megangebhart
or over email at
[email protected]

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