47 Destinies: Finding Grace (2 page)

Grace didn’t doubt her beauty.  She could have been a model with her 5’10” stature, long legs and perfectly large ruby lips.  Her complexion was flawless and envied by most.  Grace’s crystal green eyes were a reflection of her nature: they were calm and cool like an ocean’s bay.  While breathtakingly beautiful, her outer beauty paled in comparison to her inner beauty.  Everyone who knew Grace would genuinely say that she had the kindest soul. 

Over the years, Grace’s physical beauty also brought her some inward tension.  Prior to Derek entering her life, Grace had several relationships with men who were only attracted to her physical beauty and voluptuous figure.  They had no desire to get to know her personally, or to learn of her aspirations, dreams and desires.  She was merely an arm ornament and potential trophy wife for them. After Derek, Grace vowed to never tolerate that type of man in her life again.  She was more than a pretty face, and yearned to have her inner beauty recognized as well.

“Right now, I don’t know exactly who I am, but I know it is worth finding out,” Grace said to her reflection in the mirror.

Since she was having such a difficult day, Grace went to her jewelry box and pulled out a love letter from Derek.  Reading it always made her smile.

I love you

Grace Ann,

and love loving

you. Today

and everyday, I

enjoy playing with

you, and living and

breathing fun into

our world with

curiosity.

Lovingly

yours,

Derek

“Mama, I thirsty,” Bella said as she tugged on Grace’s leg, interrupting her thoughts.

Grace had to take a moment to compose herself.  Re-reading Derek’s letter always tore at her heart.  “Of course, Baby.  Let’s go find you something to drink,” Grace said as she walked with Bella into the kitchen.

“Matt-e-s?”  Bella asked in her sweet little voice.

“Mattias is at school.  We will pick him up after lunch.”

The rest of the morning dragged.  As she continued to stare at the clock, it dawned on Grace that the sole focus of her life was her children.  What was she going to do when Bella started preschool?  At least when Derek was alive, she was fully involved as a supportive and consulting partner with him in his career, their joint family business dealings, and the activities with each of their extended families. She so missed the pillow talk about the children, his career and their finances.  She used to adore being with people, hosting parties, and planning social events.  Now she only went out with her immediate family, choosing to mostly isolate herself in the house.  Grace knew she needed to find something to do with her time, but felt unsure of how to even begin.

Grace welcomed the sound of her cell phone ringing and ran to pick it up as she recognized the personal ring tone of Cora Jacobs.

“Hi Cora!”  Grace said to her soon to be sister-in-law.  “How are you?  How is Brent? How are you two doing?”

“We are doing great, Grace. Thanks!  I wanted to check in with you.  How are you holding up on Mattias’ first day of school?”

Grace cleared her throat a little before answering.  She didn’t want Cora to know the extent of her sadness and how much she was struggling.

“It has been a little challenging, but I will make it through,” said Grace, minimizing her true feelings.

Cora could sense the shakiness in Grace’s voice, but didn’t want to press the issue.  “My sister is hosting a small gathering at her place on Saturday night.  I was hoping you would join Brent and me.  If you can’t find a sitter, Leslie volunteered to come over.  We would be back by 10:00pm or earlier if you prefer,” Cora said in an attempt to make the offer enticing.  She wanted Grace to get out of the house and meet some new people, as she seemed to be sinking into a dense fog of depression.

“Thank you for the offer, but I would prefer a quiet evening at home,” Grace replied.  She didn’t feel like meeting new people.

Cora was disappointed with her response, but didn’t want to press her.  “If you change your mind, let me know.  I will talk with you soon.  Bye.”

“Thanks again, Cora.  Bye,” Grace said as she clicked off her phone.  Part of her wanted to go out, but she just wasn’t ready to meet new people.  They would have questions about her life that she didn’t want to answer.  Grace wasn’t married.  Grace wasn’t working.  Grace had two young kids and that was her life.  Who would want to hear about that?

Later in the evening, Grace received another call on the same subject.   She was not surprised when she saw it was her brother-in-law, Brent Locke.

“Grace.  I know this can’t be true, but Cora is telling me that you don’t want to see your loving brother-in-law and hang out with us at a little old party,” Brent said sternly but with humor in his voice.  “I need you to say yes and join us.  Then hand over the phone so I can to talk to my nephew Mattias, man-to-man, about his first day of school.”

“Brent, I appreciate the offer, but I am not up for going out,” Grace said, searching for a viable excuse.  Fooling Brent was not an easy feat.  He was persistent.

“Are you ill?”  Brent asked.

“No, I just don’t feel like being around people I don’t know,” Grace told Brent the truth.  He would get it out of her eventually.  Brent was someone Grace could confide in.  She could always count on him to be there for her.

“Why?”

“It is too difficult to explain,” Grace said quietly.

“Grace, it’s time for you to get out.  You can’t hide yourself in your house forever,” Brent said gently, which was unusual for him.  He tended to talk straight at an issue, but with Grace it was different.  He wanted to shelter her from any more pain in her life.  But lately, Brent’s concern for Grace was increasing.  It had been over two years since his brother’s death and Grace wasn’t exhibiting any signs of moving forward.  Instead, she was beginning to slip away.

“Does it have to be so soon?” Grace asked, hoping to postpone the inevitable.

“Yes. It will only be for a few hours.  We will be at the house at 5:30pm on Saturday.  No more excuses.  Please hand the phone over to Mattias,” Brent said with authority.  Grace was stuck in a corner.  She couldn’t fight both Brent and Cora.  Together, they were quite a formidable team.  Grace was very happy that they found each other.  It was also nice for Grace to have Cora in her life.  As an only child, Grace never had the love of a sister.  Once Brent and Cora were married in the spring, Cora would officially be her sister-in-law.  Grace couldn’t wait! She was happy for them.

Grace laughed to herself when she thought about the misunderstanding which also kept Cora and Brent apart.  Cora had mistakenly assumed that Grace and Brent were married.  Cora’s story was that Brent’s mother, Leslie, did not like her and led her to that lie, but Grace chalked it up as a mere misunderstanding.  Grace and Cora had very different relationships and, of course, divergent perceptions of Leslie.  No matter, Grace was happy and convinced that after the wedding, Cora and Leslie’s relationship would shift and they would all become one big happy family.  Well, at least they would be a family, Grace mused to herself.

As promised, Brent and Cora arrived at precisely 5:30pm on Saturday.  Mattias and Bella were thrilled to see them.  After giving Grace a kiss goodbye, they promptly went into the living room.

Grace didn’t have a chance to try another excuse.  She looked elegant in her beige linen pants, long-sleeved linen top, and small brown pumps.  She insisted Cora sit up front next to Brent.  They made an incredible couple.  Cora’s long black hair was an identical match to Brent’s.  They sweetly held hands.  It was impossible to hide their love for one another.

“Grace, you look beautiful,” Cora said while reapplying her lipstick.

“Thank you.  I love your shoes.  Where did you get them?”  Grace knew shoes and clothes.  She enjoyed buying, wearing and admiring all apparel.  Hopefully she could find some nice women

at the party who shared her love of fashion.  Besides being a mother, she wasn’t sure what else to talk to people about.

Grace did her best to enjoy the ride over the Golden Gate Bridge.  The sun started to descend in its nightly routine.  The clouds played hide-and-seek while bursting out all the various colors.  The large orange-red towers of the bridge surged forth a magnificent presence that entered Grace.  She was eagerly hopeful the fog would hold off so they could behold the last glimpse of the sun finally disappearing over the horizon of the Pacific Ocean.  In that moment, Grace wished Derek were with her to hold her hand and enjoy the grandeur.

The trio arrived in Marin in no time.  The party was already in full force.  Grace was a little nervous when she saw all the people. 

“I thought you said this was going to be a little house party!” Grace said as her anxiety returned.  There were people outside and the house was also full.

“I guess more people decided to come.  I am sorry; I didn’t know,” Cora said, slightly embarrassed.  “We can leave at any time.”

Grace was counting on it.  She would give it one hour and then she was leaving with or without them.

Seeing a slight bit of terror in Grace’s body language, Brent chimed in smiling, “I’m sure they all heard that the beautiful and talented Grace Locke was coming and didn’t want to miss out on being in her presence.”

“He’s right as always Grace, let’s just go inside,” Cora said as she locked arms with Grace.  They found Cora’s sister, Samantha, in the kitchen.

“Cora!  Grace! Brent! Yay! I am so glad you could make it!” Samantha exclaimed, opening her arms wide to hug each of them. “There’s plenty to eat.  Make yourselves at home.”

Grace stayed close to Cora, unwilling to venture out on her own as Brent went off to mingle with the men who were outside enjoying cigars and brandy.  Most of the conversations were light and easy.  Grace was almost enjoying herself.  The ritual surface conversations were beginning to come back to Grace.  There were a lot of things Grace could discuss without revealing any personal information. 

Cora was in her element as well.  She showed off her engagement ring and got caught up with old friends while maintaining loving eye contact at a distance with Brent.  Samantha joined them after a while.  Trailing behind her was a tall striking man with dirty blond hair.

“Cora, I found someone who wants to see you,” Samantha said mysteriously with an enormous smile on her face.

“TODD!” Cora screamed with delight.

“Cora, how are you?”  Todd asked as he wrapped his muscular arms around her tiny frame.  Cora became engulfed in Todd’s arms.  He was so much taller than her.

“It’s so good to see you! I can’t believe it.  I haven’t seen you in years!!!!!  The last time I saw you was at your wedding.  Is Melissa outside?  I can’t wait to see her,” Cora said, practically jumping up and down.

Todd’s eyes turned down and the smile on his face disappeared.  “Melissa and I are no longer together.”

Grace could see, hear and feel his pain, and she knew it well.  Her heart went out to Todd.  Even though he was a stranger to her, Grace was instantly connected to him, as they both were experiencing the misfortune of lost love.

“I didn’t know.  I am so sorry,” Cora said as she gently touched Todd’s arm.  She wasn’t sure how to comfort him.  After an awkward moment, Cora regained her composure.  “Todd, this is my soon to be sister-in-law, Grace Locke.”

Todd turned to face Grace.  His chocolate brown eyes focused inquisitively on her.  Grace was a little unnerved by his momentary stillness.  Could he sense her pain as well?

“It is very nice to meet you, Grace.  You are guaranteed to enjoy a wild ride with Cora in your family,” Todd said as he winked at Cora.  “Cora, tell me all about the lucky man.  Does he know what he is getting into?”

Cora’s face shone when she spoke about Brent.  She retold the story about how she met Brent while interning at the family’s company, Locke Incorporated.  Cora prattled on about their romance and future plans.  Listening to the story caused Grace’s heart to sink.  She had a once in a lifetime love with Derek and now it was all in the past.

After exchanging various stories about Brent and Cora’s relationship, Samantha came into the conversation.

“Would you mind if I steal Cora away for a few minutes?  As the maid of honor, I need to discuss a few wedding details with her.  I will bring her back in a jiffy,” Samantha said as she took Cora out of the room.

Grace and Todd were now uncomfortably alone as Samantha and Cora walked away in excited conversation.

“Grace, would you like to sit down?” Todd asked.

“Thank you,” Grace said, pushing down the nervous feelings and the pre-contemplation stage of terror in her stomach.

“Cora mentioned that you will soon become her sister-in-law.  Are you married to Brent’s brother?”  Todd casually asked.

Grace knew the question would eventually surface, which is why she didn’t want to attend in the first place.  She grew very uncomfortable and twisted her wedding band.

Todd sensed her discomfort and before she could reply, quickly added, “Or, we can talk about something else.”

Grace stared at Todd.  He appeared genuine and he seemingly sensed her discomfort with his question.  It comforted her and helped her relax.