Authors: C.J. Fallowfield
‘Get her in the car immediately, Sir. I’ll get
you there fast,’ James urged. I swallowed hard as I forced my suddenly shaking
legs forward. She’d lied to me. She
was
bleeding earlier and she’d tried
to pass it off as nothing to protect me. God, she was so fucking stubborn and
brave, thinking of me and my fears instead of letting me be there for her. I
lay her on the backseat and ran around to the other side, getting in and
lifting her head into my lap as James shut the doors.
‘When we get to heaven, I may just kill you
again for lying to me and saying everything was fine, Ellie,’ I quietly
scolded. Her eyes fluttered open and filled with tears.
‘I’m really bleeding, aren’t I?’ she whispered.
‘It’s nothing,’ I replied, stroking her hair. I
flicked my eyes down to see the stain was spreading. ‘Just spotting.’
‘Now who’s lying?’
‘Extenuating circumstances, my wife needs to
stay calm for the sake of our daughter.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she choked, reaching for one of my
hands and squeezing it tightly.
‘For what?’
‘I wanted this to be easy for you, you deserve
easy after everything you’ve …’ she broke off as tears streamed down her face.
‘I don’t deserve to have you, Oliver, or Jonas,
yet I have you all. And I’m going to have a daughter, too, who’s going to
arrive safely, because if you haven’t noticed, James is driving like a bat out
of hell to get you to the hospital in record time. They’ll make sure you’re ok,
both of you, because I’m not losing anyone else, you hear me, Ellie? I am
not
losing you or my daughter, so you hang in there for me, ok?’
‘I’m trying,’ she nodded, her face looking an
awful lot paler than it had when I found her in the bathroom earlier. ‘But I
feel … really sleepy.’
‘Talk to me, tell me all about Oliver’s birth
again, what I missed. Just keep talking to me, Ellie,’ I pleaded, squeezing her
clammy hand even tighter.
‘If it’s bad, if it’s really bad … and you have
to choose …’
‘Ellie,’ I warned. I didn’t like where this
conversation was going or the fact that she seemed to be having trouble keeping
her eyes open.
‘Listen to me. If you … if you have to choose,
our … daughter’s … more important.’
‘Ellie, for fuck's sake, I’m not choosing,
you’re going to be fine. You
have to be
fine, do you hear me?’ Her
breathing was suddenly becoming more shallow, her eyes had closed, and her grip
on my hand was weakening.
‘I … love you … Dan,’ she whispered, so quietly
I barely heard her.
‘Ellie Baxter,’ I barked. ‘Don’t you dare pass
out on me. Don’t you
dare
fucking leave me.’ I choked back some tears as
I heard James on the hands-free system, warning the hospital to have an
emergency team waiting to meet us. Ellie’s hand had gone limp, her head had
rolled to the side against my stomach, and when I looked down, I was nearly
sick. Her jeans were absolutely soaked with blood, I couldn’t remember ever
seeing so much. ‘Not again,’ I cried, anguish filling my voice. ‘Please. Not
Ellie.’
‘We’re seconds away, Sir,’ came James’s voice,
but it sounded like he was miles away.
I wanted to be miles away.
I wanted to be back at the waterfall, with
Ellie asleep in my arms as the sun beat down on us. To feel the contours of her
body against mine, her warm breath on my chest. I wanted to see her green eyes
again, to hear her laugh, to see her smile. Suddenly part of me wanted to be
back on the island, seeing that email coming in, asking for a four week stay
over Christmas. If I was back there, knowing what I knew now, I’d reject that
booking in a heartbeat if it meant not meeting me didn’t lead her here. I’d
give up all the happiness I’d ever known just to protect her.
‘No,’ I yelled, suddenly aware that the car
doors were open and Ellie was being pulled out, away from me, her fingers
slipping out of mine.
‘Sir, let them do their job, it’s out of our
hands now,’ James stated, putting his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off and
leapt out of the car as medical staff rushed past us with Ellie on a gurney. I
had no idea how I was even putting one foot in front of the other as I raced
behind them. They hurtled through a set of double doors and I burst through
after them into a corridor. Suddenly a man in scrubs leapt in front of me,
putting a hand on my chest.
‘You need to wait here. It looks like she’s had
a uterine rupture and she’s losing blood fast. Let us work on her and we’ll
update you as soon as we’re done. She’s had a caesarean before?’
‘She has,’ came James’s voice behind me.
‘I need to be with her.’ I tried to push past
the doctor, but James pulled me back.
‘We can’t allow anyone in the theatre, Mr.
Davenport. Please, let us do what we do best. You got her here fast, so that
will make a huge difference.’
‘You don’t understand,’ I yelled, beside myself
with fear. ‘I need to be with her.’
‘Sir, I don’t want to restrain you, but I will
if I have to,’ James warned, moving in front of me as the doctor ran up the
corridor and disappeared through another set of doors.
‘James,’ I choked, all the emotions of being in
the hospital as Rebecca slipped away from me suddenly returning in force and
punching me right in the chest. ‘Let me past, I have to see her. I never told
her that I loved her, I have to tell her.’
‘She knows, Sir. I’m sure this feels like Miss
Rebecca all over again, but this is different, Ellie is your wife. You show her
how much you love her every day and right now, she wouldn’t be able to hear
your words anyway. If you burst in there, you’ll be a distraction to the team
working on her and jeopardise their efforts. Hard as this may be to hear, the
best thing you can do is come and sit with me and wait.’
I nodded, suddenly feeling like someone had
pulled my plug out. I felt completely drained and like I was about to collapse.
How was I supposed to go on without her? James steered me away and back out to
reception, where a nurse was waiting for us.
‘Come with me, we have a private waiting room just
for you and your family.’ She showed us into a cosy room with private tea and
coffee making facilities and soft leather sofas. James steered me to an
armchair and I fell back into it and covered my face with my hands. This had to
be a dream, this couldn’t be happening again.
‘I’ll contact Mr. Steel and your parents and
let them know what’s happened, then I’ll wait outside the door and explain the
situation to Jenny and the Mrs. Hansons when they arrive. You need to take some
time to process this and compose yourself, as when she’s back from theatre,
she’s going to need you more than ever,’ James advised. I nodded, unable to say
anything, but felt him squeeze my shoulder. ‘I’m here for you, as long as you
need, whatever you need. From this moment until I take you all home, I’m not
your employee anymore, I’m your friend, Dan.’
‘James,’ I uttered, dropping my hands to look
up at him. In all the years he’d worked for me, he’d never called me anything
but “Sir,” despite my repeated requests for him not to.
‘I’ve got your back. Mr. Steel better get his
scrawny arse over here fast, as I’m about to usurp him from his best friend
role.’ He patted my shoulder with a wink and headed to the door.
‘James, I …’ I shook my head, unsure what to
say to express my gratitude. He dipped his head, an unspoken confirmation
passing between us, then pulled the door behind him. I dropped my head back
onto the cool leather and slowly exhaled. How the hell was I here again? First Rebecca,
then Moira, and now Ellie in the hospital three times. I thought her stairs
tumble had been bad, then the caesarean, but now it wasn’t just the two of us
and Oliver. We had Jonas and we were supposed to be having Eva. There was so
much more at stake, my love for her was so much deeper. I’d had no idea that I
could love anyone more than I loved her on our wedding day, but she kept on
surprising me every damn day.
I rubbed my hands over my eyes. I needed
caffeine, no way was I going to go to sleep until I knew if both of my girls
were ok. I heard someone scream the word “no” outside and looked up as the door
was flung open. I only knew it was Brooke from the flash of red hair as she
threw herself at me, tucking into my side as she sobbed. I put my arm around
her and kissed the top of her head, then felt someone nestle into my other side
and looked down to see Molly. I kissed her head too and tightened my arms
around both of them as they cried. I looked up to see Jenny watching us from the
doorway. She wiped her tear-streaked face and nodded at me. If I had a spare
arm, I’d have gathered her up as well. These three girls meant the world to
Ellie, therefore they meant the world to me. This was good, having people here
to distract me. I wondered if it was horrible of me to feel some consolation
that I wasn’t the only person hurting right now.
Jenny made me a black coffee and set it down on
the coffee table in front of me, then took a seat opposite. I wanted to drink
it, but I was reluctant to let the girls go. I’d never been in a room with
these women when no one said a single word. Usually it was hard to even think
over the noise. I’d give anything now to hear them all laughing and joking. I
just ran my hands up and down Brooke and Molly’s arms until they finally
stopped crying. Brooke had her face buried in my shirt, clutching it tightly in
her hands. Molly was just staring at a spot on the wall opposite. Jenny had her
elbows on her knees, her eyes focussed on the peach-coloured carpeted floor.
Every time I heard footsteps approaching, I looked up at the door, hoping it
was someone with good news, determined I wasn’t going to lose faith no matter
how long it took. Ellie and I had barely had any years together, we deserved so
many more. James appeared and shut the door behind him.
‘Your parents are on their way, Magda is
watching over Master Oliver and Master Jonas. Mr. Steel is flying out as soon
as possible. He was very upset that he wasn’t able to get here faster, but I
told him that I’m standing in for him until he arrives.’
‘Thank you, James.’
Everyone ate the cooked breakfast provided
except for me. I rarely went off my food, but it had been over three hours.
There were seven of us now in this small room. My parents had arrived and Andy
had come in, despite not being on shift. I was lucky to have such support.
Everyone whipped their heads around when there was a knock on the door and a
doctor in scrubs appeared.
‘Mr. Davenport, may I speak to you in private?’
he asked. I felt my stomach twist in agony. This was it. I couldn’t tell from
his face whether he was about to bring me the best or worst news of my life. I
stood up and quickly looked around at the expectant and tired faces around me.
‘Whatever you have to say, you can say here. There’s
no one in this room that isn’t my wife’s family.’ I felt a hand in mine and
looked around to see my mother giving me a half-hearted attempt at a smile.
‘Mrs. Davenport suffered a uterine rupture, as
we suspected. She lost a great deal of blood, but we managed to stabilise her
and she’s currently being closely monitored. We expect her to make a full
recovery, though she’ll be with us a little longer than expected.’
‘Thank God,’ Mother uttered, echoing probably
everyone’s sentiments. I felt the load on my shoulders lessen a little. My
Ellie was alive. I’d told her so many times how strong she was, but she really
had no idea. I wanted to sob with relief, but that could wait until I was alone
with her.
‘I’d like to discuss the implications of the
surgery with you both when she’s conscious. She’s currently heavily sedated.’
‘My … my daughter?’ I asked, the shake in my
voice obvious.
‘One moment,’ he nodded, disappearing out of
the door.
‘What the fuck!’ snapped Brooke, leaping to her
feet. ‘He can’t just walk out and leave us hanging.’
‘Brooke,’ Molly warned, placing a hand on her
forearm.
‘No,’ she bit. ‘God knows I’m over the moon to
know Ellie made it, but what about the baby? This is unacceptable.’ The
previous quiet of the room was suddenly shattered by the noise of voices all
talking over each over, but when the door opened again, it was like someone had
hit the mute button at a nightclub, you could suddenly hear a pin drop. A nurse
stood, framed by the door, with a small pink bundle in her arms.
‘Mr. Davenport, your daughter was born by
caesarean section at 4:45 a.m. She was closely monitored, but has suffered no
side effects as a result of the trauma. She weighs six pounds and two ounces.
Do you have a name yet?’ she asked, smiling at me. I nodded, unable to form
words as I craned my neck, trying to see my new baby’s face. All I could see
was pink. As well as the pink blanket, she had a pink knitted hat on.
‘Eva, Eva Davenport,’ Brooke sniffed next to
me, rubbing my back while she spoke for me.
‘Would you like to hold Eva?’ the nurse asked
me. I nodded and watched with baited breath as she walked over. I held my arms
out and took my daughter, cradling her in my left arm against my chest as
everyone just waited, silently watching. I felt tears well in my eyes. She was
beautiful, her facial features were all Ellie. Those full, heart-shaped ruby
lips, a small snub, perfectly straight nose, and defined bone structure. I
pushed her hat up a little bit and grinned. She had my dark hair, and lots of
it. I loved that she had both of our features.
‘Wow, a mini Ellie,’ whispered Brooke. I
nodded, unable to take my eyes of my gorgeous baby girl. Oliver and Jonas were
going to love her.
‘When can I see my wife?’ I asked.
‘You can have a few minutes now, but we’ll let
you see her properly when she’s fully conscious and we’re satisfied she’s up to
visitors.’
‘We'll look after Eva for you. Go, see Ellie,
and make sure to give her all of our love.’