2020: Emergency Exit (2 page)

Danny nodded, glancing at his watch and running his other hand through his shoulder-length blond hair.

He picked the football up from his lap and tossed it in the air a few times. A roll of thunder shook the walls.
Man!
Glad we’re not out there
.
Last week’s loss in the state playoffs had a perk after all.

Kate pressed Danny a little more. “Any idea why he’s calling?”

Danny looked at her and shook his head.
Where was she going with this?

“When did you talk to him last?” she asked. He was watching football highlights. Never the best time for a conversation.

“I talk to him every day,” he answered curtly.

“Sorry. Danny, please. Hey.” She placed a soft, cold hand on his forearm. “Don’t get defensive with me, okay? You know what I mean.” His posture relaxed a little and he nodded. “I’m not talking about you saying a hurried ‘bye’ as you run out the door. When did you last have an actual conversation with him?”

He shrugged, expressionless. “A few months ago, I guess.”
Seriously, why was this so important to her?

“I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on,” she said, leaning back with a deep sigh.

More lightning lit up the room, and the rain was coming down harder.

Danny cringed, reacting to a bone-jarring tackle on the screen.
Ouch!
He looked at Kate. She was still looking at him, as if waiting for a further explanation.
What the heck am I supposed to say?
“There’s nothing to figure out Kate. I don’t want to talk to him. That’s all.” Rain was pelting the side of the house now. A commercial came on, and he redirected his attention towards the water-streaked window.
This will be fun biking home in!

She couldn’t let it go, even though it was clear he was getting upset. “Aren’t you at least curious why he’s calling? He never calls you.”

He noted the heavy accent on the “never,” but didn’t say anything. She was right.
Dad NEVER calls me.

“Danny, come on. Maybe he’s trying…”

“Maybe he is, Kate. I don’t care!” Placing his can on the table just a little too hard, he saw her wince. “Trying isn’t good enough!” he snapped, instantly regretting his terse reply. He knew she was just trying to help. “Sorry... Kate, I’m sorry.” He covered her hand with his own and tried to smile. “Seriously, do we have to talk about this now? I don’t want to talk about Dad.” More thunder. “Okay?”

But she wasn’t nearly done. “Can you at least tell me what you want from him?” she asked point blank. “Honestly. Your mom told you how great he’s been to her. Right? It’s been a long time since he left, Dan. He’s been back a long time. He’s−”

“Not nearly long enough,” Danny muttered, cutting her off.
I don’t want to fight about this
. He stood up and walked to the window to watch the rain.
Who cares that he came back? The point was he’d left. He gave up on us.

Kate held her hands up in apparent submission. “Fine. I just think you’re being a little unfair.”

That was too much. “Unfair?” he asked, spinning in disbelief to face her.
Seriously?
“Kate, you have no−”

“Danny, I’m not judging you,” she replied, hands up again, apologetically trying to settle him back down. She stood and moved over to him, stopping him before he could say anything else. “I get that he hurt you. I get that he messed up in a big way.” She placed her palms on his chest and paused as another bolt cut across the sky. His heart’s tempo accelerated beneath her hand. “But do you know what I would give to have one more minute, much less one more day or one more chance at a life with my dad?” She looked up at him for understanding and saw what she was saying register in his eyes. He understood.

She diffused his anger with that response. Anything he said now about his own problems would be incredibly insensitive to her.
Maybe she was right
.

He was about to say as much when Kate’s phone started buzzing on the table. She looked at the flashing screen. “Great. Danny, he’s calling me now.”

Okay, this definitely wasn’t normal.

“Do I answer?” she asked, picking up the phone.

He thought about saying, “Go ahead,” but his stubbornness won over. “No.” He took the phone from her and shut it off.
Doesn’t he get the picture?
He picked his phone up from the table and switched it off too.
He’s probably just worried about the weather.
Danny sat back down on the couch.
I can take care of myself.

Kate returned to the window, tying back her long brown hair. He could see her watching him through the reflection in the window. She wasn’t much for arguing unless she was convinced she was right. She’d made her point. “I’ll talk to him when I get home, okay?” he asked, trying to put the topic to rest. She nodded and came back over to the couch. “I’m sorry,” he added.

“It’s okay.” She sat down next to him. “I get it.”

Somehow she always did.

Kate’s mom opened the basement door about an hour later and called down, “I’m going to bed now guys. Kate, you need to come upstairs. Danny, would you like me to drive you home?”

“No thanks Jackie,” he replied, looking at his watch.
10:18.
“I’m good with the bike.”

“Okay,” she answered. “Just sit out the storm awhile, all right?”

“I will,” he paused. “Thanks Jackie.”

Danny and his best friend Cameron came over to Kate’s house almost every weekend to watch sports and play pool. Cameron’s girlfriend Jenna was Kate’s best friend, and the four of them formed a tight little circle. They had no interest in the typical high school social scene. Hanging out by the fireplace and the TV, laughing and talking, that was their kind of party.

Kate was an only child. Her dad had died of a heart attack three years ago, her first week of eighth grade. Her mom had basically taken on both parental roles since then, especially when it came to rules. Mrs. Becker—or Jackie, as she now preferred to be called—was pretty strict. Kate wasn’t officially allowed to date, and she was never allowed outside the house after 10 p.m. She always had to go to her own room when her mom went to bed, if Jenna wasn’t there. Tonight, Cam and Jenna were at a late movie, which meant an early split for Danny and Kate. But Danny didn’t object. He was grateful enough that Jackie, without prying, seemed to understand the dynamics at home right now and let him stay as late as he wanted.

Kate leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said loud enough for her mom to hear. Her brown eyes twinkling, she winked at Danny before she stood and headed towards the stairs. Danny smiled and kicked his feet up on the table, turning his attention back to a Saturday Night Live rerun. He laughed as Peyton Manning hurled a ball at a little kid.
This is one of the best SNLs ever!
He heard the door close at the top of the stairs.

A couple minutes later he heard the basement door reopen.
That was fast
. She usually waited an hour before coming back down.
Must have forgotten something
. Then he saw two sets of feet come down the steps. He sat up. Kate’s were the first set of feet. His fourteen-year-old sister was right behind her, soaked and hysterical.

Danny jumped to his feet. “Hayley, what’s wrong?” He walked quickly to her. “What’d he do?”

She shook her head. “Dad didn’t do anything, Dan.” She choked up, covered her mouth and began sobbing again. “It’s Mom…”

Danny knew what she was going to say before she said it. Now he knew why Dad had been calling.

“She’s−” Danny pulled her into his chest, muffling the last word. He didn’t want to hear it.

Four years later.
Sunday, October 18, 2020.

Northern Minnesota.

Danny shook his head, and raindrops scattered off his hood. Dad had been first on the scene and held her in his arms as she died. She’d only had a few minutes left, but Mom had asked Dad to “please call Danny.” Dad had tried. Nine times. But Danny had deliberately ignored him. That had always haunted him.
If I’d only listened to Kate!
He knew what Mom would have said. She would have asked him to forgive Dad, to please do it for her. He wouldn’t have wanted to hear it, but maybe it would have gotten through to him. The one thing Danny did know is that he would have given anything to have heard his mother say, in person, that she loved him. Supposedly those were her last words. “Tell him I love him.” That’s what she said to Dad.
Why couldn’t you have just picked up?
He chided himself.

 Instead, the last thing Mom knew before she died was that her son wasn’t willing to give his dad a chance. Now, standing in the rain on what would have been Mom’s fortieth birthday, they were saying goodbye to her again.

As he watched his dad kneel by his mother’s grave and place his head on her tombstone, Danny couldn’t help but hate how cold he’d been to his father for so many years. It didn’t take a psychologist to know his dad’s remorse had been genuine. A little growing up in the Marines had allowed Danny to realize that and forgive his dad for leaving them, but it still hadn’t allowed him to forgive himself. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Danny whispered. “I’m still sorry.”

He walked over and tapped his dad on the shoulder.
I’ll take care of him, Mom
.
Promise
. “We need to go, Dad.”

TWO: (Ryan) “Over and Over”

I nudged a lock of long blond hair off her freckled shoulder. She had her back to me, sleeping peacefully, sunlight sprinkling in through the shuttered window. I leaned forward and gently kissed that smooth shoulder as she shifted, and a wave of her beautiful hair splashed down on my pillow. I traced a finger down the small of her back and kissed her naked shoulder again. This time she turned all the way to face me and opened her eyes. “Good morning,” I said. She didn’t respond. She never did. I never got to see more of her. I always woke up then, and the cold of the mattress where she used to lie would slice through my hand, and my heart, like a knife. She was never there. It was always that same damn dream. I’d squeeze my eyes shut as quickly and tightly as I could, but she wouldn’t come back. The sobering truth never let me go back to sleep, and reality never let Sophie wake up.

Today was Sophie’s birthday, but she was dead. I shook my head as I knelt by her tombstone in the rain, rehashing that dream I’d had so many times. It was a flashback to the morning after our final night at the cabin together. The last weekend of summer vacation, three months before she died. The night she’d told me she was pregnant. It was the happiest I’d seen her in years.

We never did find out the baby’s gender. We had with all the other kids, but we wanted to be surprised this time. She was only a few weeks into her second trimester at the time of the accident. She was finally starting to show and we were going to tell the kids that weekend. I never did. Losing her was more than enough pain for them. That morning though…man…she’d never looked so beautiful. She’d never looked so serene. I always seemed to have that dream up here. It made sense, I guess, in some odd way. We weren’t lying all that far apart. We were just in different cold beds. I’d always treasured those tender moments of remembered warmth. And I would even more now, not knowing if I’d ever be back.

Danny tapped my shoulder. “We need to go, Dad.”

I traced a “+1” sign on the ground for our unborn baby, rose to my feet, and planted one last kiss on her headstone. “I’m sorry, Sophie,” I whispered. “I don’t want to leave.”

“She knows we have to, Dad,” Danny said, gently pulling on my arm. “She understands.”

I nodded, closed my eyes, gave her one more “I love you,” added a “goodbye baby,” and then turned to my twenty-year-old son.
Man, he looked so much like her
. “Okay then,” I sighed deeply. “Let’s go.”

The others were gathered around the vehicles as Danny and I approached. My daughter, Hayley, had turned eighteen a couple weeks ago and was holding the new compound bow she’d received a few days ago from my parents. She had an arm around Mom—Grandma Ollie—next to Dad’s black pickup.
That girl and her bows
. She’d been Katniss Everdeen for Halloween in both fifth and sixth grade, and been in competitive archery since then. I used to spend hours tossing empty cans in our backyard while she practiced shooting them out of the air. She was surprisingly more accurate with moving objects. Incredible hand-eye coordination. I shook my head and smiled.
Another gift from Sophie
.

Cameron, Kate, and Jenna were chatting on the back tailgate of Cameron’s pickup. Kate hopped down and approached us, “You two good?”

I nodded and walked past, gently patting her shoulder. Danny stopped to talk to her. She looped her arm through his. “Yeah,” he said as I walked away. “I think he’ll be all right.” He paused. “He hasn’t left the cabin since we buried her. Never for more than a day or two at least.”

“I know.” She replied. Kate cleared her throat. “Danny…”

“Yeah?” He started leading her towards the rest of us.

“I don’t understand why we have to leave,” she whispered, looking up at him. “Can’t we at least go home and see if anyone survived? Mom could be…”

“Kate.” He stopped walking and turned to face her. “There’s no way. It’s just not safe.” He looked into her sad brown eyes. “I’m sorry. But we can’t. Your mom wouldn’t want you to come back. Not now. If it’s like this all the way up here in Ely, imagine how it’d be around Rochester.”

Danny was right, of course. We’d all heard the radio message. It clearly said there was nothing left. Some sort of mass chemical attack had decimated the American population. It was too surreal for any of us to fully grasp. But from what we’d seen the day before, we knew it wasn’t a hoax. This was dead serious.

We’d all gone, unsuspecting, into the small northern Minnesota town of Ely for ice cream at The Frozen Moose. We were intending to celebrate a number of things: Sophie’s fortieth birthday, Danny and Cameron qualifying for the Marines’ Scout Sniper Squad, and Hayley’s runner-up finish in the State Archery Championship. It was a festive mood, which quickly soured to horror with what we discovered. Dead animals littered the highways and ditches. There was a rank odor that just…well, it just…I don’t know. I can’t even describe it.