Pouring himself a glass of Pinot Noir, he placed a pan of water on the hob to boil, and put a drop of olive oil into a deep sauté pan. Grabbing a pack of ready chopped pancetta from the fridge he tossed it into the olive oil until it began to sizzle. He halved some ripe cherry tomatoes, ripped some basil up, and added some pasta to the pan of boiling water.
He wasn’t entirely sure that he could stomach food, but he knew from experience that he was useless if he didn’t eat. At least this was quick and simple. While he waited for the pasta to cook, he sat at the counter, clasping his glass of wine between his hands, deep in thought. Who was Hugo Fletcher? Was he the paragon of virtue that everybody had always believed? Or was he the man that Annabel had described? And if he was, how had that impacted on his life with Laura? Nothing fit. It was as if they were looking at two entirely different men.
The timer pinged, and he got to his feet to add the tomatoes to the pancetta for the last couple of minutes. On automatic pilot he added a couple of turns of black pepper, then added the drained pasta to the sauté pan with a bit more oil and the ripped basil. Tipping it straight onto the plate, he quickly grated some Parmesan, topped up his wine and sat down, no further forward in his thinking than he had been when he’d walked through the front door.
No sooner had he placed the first forkful of the delicious but simple food in his mouth than he was interrupted by the buzzing of the intercom. From where he was sitting on a tall stool at the kitchen counter, he could see the video image on the screen, and was concerned to see it was Kate. He rushed over to pick up the receiver, all thoughts of his food gone.
‘Kate - what are you doing here? Is Lucy okay?’
‘Yes, Lucy’s fine. She’s with a baby sitter. Can I come up, please? I’d really like to talk to you.’
With immense relief that Lucy was okay, and with considerable irritation that his ex-wife was interrupting his dinner if it was nothing to do with Lucy, he pressed the entry button, took the front door off the latch, and went to sit down to continue eating. He hadn’t forgotten the way she’d spoken to him the previous day.
He glanced up at her when she found him in the kitchen, and tried to hide his surprise. Her exotic good looks had been enhanced by some carefully applied makeup, and instead of her usual casual ponytail, her long dark hair was hanging straight and shiny to just below her shoulders. Resisting an impulse to comment, he pointed to the fridge.
‘White wine in the fridge, if that’s still your preference. Glasses are in there.’ Tom pointed to a wall cupboard next to the fridge.
‘I hope you don’t mind if I finish eating, but I’ve been looking forward to this all the way home.’
‘You always were a better cook than me. That’s one of the things that I miss about you.’
Tom didn’t look up, but thought this was very odd. Kate had never given him any indication in the past that he had
any
redeeming features - at least not in the few years since Lucy had been born.
Kate poured herself a glass of wine and sat on the stool opposite him, on the other side of the counter. She looked around with a half smile on her face.
‘This is a beautiful apartment, Tom. You’ve done really well.’
Tom could imagine that in her eyes, this was the height of luxurious city living. The apartment had everything you could possibly wish for, except a soul. He hadn’t chosen a single thing - it was a job lot. The dark brown leather sofas, huge flat screen television, and shiny white kitchen represented only the best, it was true. But it said nothing about him, apart from the books and CDs piled on the floor, because clearly the modern man was not expected to read as no bookshelves had been provided.
Still extremely suspicious about this late evening visit, Tom responded without warmth.
‘We both know that my earnings as a DCI didn’t pay for this, Kate. Why the surprise visit? You weren’t exactly friendly last time we spoke, were you?’
‘I’m sorry. I was out of order. It’s just that there’s a lot going on at the moment and I was a bit distracted. I didn’t mean to be such a bitch.’
There was only one answer to that, Tom reflected, but kept his thoughts to himself. Kate sighed quietly and continued.
‘There’s something I need to tell you.’
Tom looked up briefly, continuing to fork the pasta into his mouth.
‘I wanted you to hear it from me that Declan and I are splitting up. It hasn’t worked out, and it’s time to do something about it. I’m sorry if I was grumpy on the phone yesterday, but that was part of the problem.’
Tom was genuinely surprised. This was the first he’d heard about things not being too good between them, but then again, he’d never asked. Lucy always seemed happy enough, which was his major concern.
‘What’s happened?’
Kate swallowed. She looked nervous.
‘I left you for lots of reasons, Tom. You know that I struggled with your working hours, and Declan was so attentive. You were always distracted, thinking about your latest murder or something.’
Tom picked up his plate and started to scrape the remains of his food into the bin. He’d somehow lost his appetite. He’d heard all this before, so why was she bringing it up again?
‘Oh, don’t look like that. It was so hard for me. Declan works long hours too - but they’re consistent, so I know what to expect. I don’t mind him getting up early in the morning to be at his desk at the crack of dawn, because I have to get Lucy ready anyway. And even though he gets home latish, it is at least predictable and he always
does
get home.’
Kate paused. He could see she was finding this hard, but no way was he going to help her.
‘Unfortunately, his attentive nature hasn’t gone unnoticed by one of his colleagues it would seem, and recently he’s been having lots of team outings. I found out purely by accident that the ‘team’ consisted of just one other member. He says he’s ended it, and it was just a fling, but I don’t want to know. We’re not married, and I’m not prepared to stay with him and risk it happening again in a few years. I’m just going to have to find somewhere to live, and move on.’
Tom was stunned. Declan had been painted as some sort of saint, and although they’d met when dropping off or picking up Lucy, for a long time Tom hadn’t wanted to know anything about him. It was all he could do not to punch him in the teeth, to be honest. But that anger had long since passed.
‘I’m sorry he’s hurt you, Kate. I know from bitter experience how it feels when you think your partner prefers someone else.’
He knew he was being petty, but after the casual way she had thrown him aside in favour of the wonderful Declan, he was struggling to feel any sympathy.
‘There was no need for that, Tom. But I am
really
sorry that I was so shallow. I should have appreciated your qualities, and shouldn’t have been taken in by nothing more than attention and compliments. I know now that you are by far the better man.’
Tom was not remotely moved by these words, as he was also aware that Kate had been particularly attracted to Declan’s six-figure income, not to mention his equally enormous annual bonus. He wasn’t sure what she was up to, but he was certain he didn’t like it. One thing was worrying him more than anything else.
‘Where are you planning on moving to, Kate? I only relocated down here to be near Lucy; I haven’t been here five minutes and you’re talking about moving. Where to?’
‘Oh stop that. You know you love the job here. It’s the dream job for you, so I don’t feel bad about getting you to move south, even though I might not stay here myself.’
Tom didn’t believe what he was hearing. Since Kate had left him, many things had happened and they had all been unpleasant. And now he was just starting to get his life back together. When she had gone, she’d taken Lucy to the other end of the country without the slightest concern for him. It wasn’t always easy to get weekends off, and travelling down to London had cost him the earth at a time when he could ill afford it. Divorce is an expensive business, and he was adamant that he - not Declan - would support Lucy.
Then his brother Jack had died. So he’d lost his wife and his brother - and if he hadn’t taken this job he would have pretty much lost his daughter too. She’d have grown up seeing him only for the odd weekend, and he wasn’t prepared to accept that.
‘Where are you thinking of going, Kate? And why are you even thinking of moving away? Lucy’s got friends here now, and you seem to enjoy life.’
‘Quite simply it’s because I can’t afford to live here - at least not to the level that I have been living, and I don’t want Lucy’s lifestyle to change.’
Oh, here we go, thought Tom. Obviously when Kate had left him, she’d thought Declan’s city salary was a better option. But when Jack had died, his will left everything to Tom - and it was an extraordinary amount of money as his brother had only recently sold his thriving business. It didn’t take much guessing to work out what Kate was after.
‘I’ll buy you a house, Kate. How does that sound? I’ll buy you a reasonable house, in a reasonable area, and I will happily maintain you until you find yourself another man - which you undoubtedly will do. You know Lucy is taken care of - I’ve already sorted that. Will that make you stay?’
‘Tom, I didn’t come for that.’
He resisted the temptation to laugh, but when the next Natalie Merchant song turned out to be My Beloved Wife, usually one of his favourites, he had to smile at the irony. But the mood he’d been trying to create was broken, so he walked over and turned the music off. He froze when he felt Kate close behind him. Her arms came around his waist, her full breasts rubbing his back through the thin fabric of his tee-shirt.
‘Tom - look at me.’ Tom turned round with a feeling of apprehension. Kate moved her arms until they were round his neck. He looked down into her brown eyes; eyes that had captivated him for years. He saw pleading in them and realised that Kate was not a woman who could feel complete without a man. At the moment, he was probably the best - if not the only - option.
‘I’m so very, very sorry for what I did two years ago. It was a huge mistake, and I have never regretted anything more in my life.’
‘Kate, you had an affair. You left me. You practically destroyed me. But now I’m okay, and I’m not going to put myself through that again.’
After he had discovered Kate’s affair, he had tormented himself with guilt. It took him a long time to realise that it was his wife’s desire to seek excitement that had been the root cause. His steady and uncomplicated love hadn’t been enough. But she had never seen it that way.
‘Come on. You know it’s not as simple as that. I wasn’t able to resist him. I know it sounds corny, but I felt lonely and he paid me a lot of attention. You don’t know what it’s like, Tom. It’s never happened to you.’
Tom grasped her arms and pulled himself free. He walked to the other side of the room, where she could no longer touch him. He realised that after all this time, he was still angry with her.
‘Do you honestly think that I never had the opportunity, or the desire, to sleep with somebody else? Do you think you’re the only person it happened to? Do you think I don’t know what it’s like to feel that flutter of excitement when somebody comes into the room, when you know that they want you as much as you want them?’
‘Oh come off it, Tom. You’re a policeman. You can’t have an affair with one or your fellow officers, because it’s more than your job’s worth. And you never
see
anybody else.’
Tom was keeping his anger and frustration in check. Kate had always believed that things happened to her, and that they were outside her control. She just didn’t get it that she was responsible for her own actions.
‘Two points, Kate. I see lots of people in my job, as you would realise if you had ever shown the slightest interest. And - more importantly - I wouldn’t resist because of my
job
. I would resist because of my
marriage
. If you think it was possible for
me
to resist out of fear of losing a job, why wasn’t it possible for
you
to resist for fear of losing a husband?’
Kate was not to be deterred, and she followed him across the room. She put her hands on his shoulders. He felt himself tense. She was so bloody beautiful. His body was reacting to her, but his mind was shouting ‘no’. He didn’t move, either to push her away or to respond.
‘I made a mistake, Tom - that’s all. I’m just human, and I don’t have your strength of character. But I don’t want to live in a nice house in a nice area with just Lucy and me on our own. At least in Manchester we’ve got some friends, but here I’ve got nobody. Nobody, that is, except you.’
Kate reached up to kiss him. Two years ago, Tom would have given his right arm for this moment. He put his hands on her waist and held her away from him. Neither of them spoke, and neither knew what was going to happen next. He couldn’t let her kiss him, but when he looked at the plump pinkness of her soft lips it would have been so easy to give in.
Kate broke the silence.
‘Why can’t we be a family again? You, me and Lucy? She would love it, you know, and so would I. I’m so ashamed of my behaviour, and I promise you on Lucy’s life that I would never do anything like that again. What do you say? We were happy once, we could try again. For Lucy’s sake?’
That, of course, was playing the trump card. The thought of living with Lucy every day and seeing her every evening was enormously tempting. But Kate had unintentionally broken the spell. Common sense had prevailed, and he knew exactly what her game was. He realised that her beauty wasn’t worth it; it was skin deep, and nothing more. She wasn’t a bad person, but she was shallow. It had never occurred to him before, but Kate didn’t make proactive decisions. She just reacted to each set of events. He lifted his hands from her waist, and removed her arms from his shoulders.
‘I would love to see Lucy every day. But you and I… we’re past the point of no return. Let me find you somewhere to live for now, so that you can leave Declan, and we’ll see how it goes from there.’
‘Is that a definite ‘no’, or a ‘maybe’ to getting back together?’