“Please let Ms. Crawford know that her paperwork is ready for her signature.”
A buzzing started up in his ears, too loud for him to hear the rest of her message. “I’ll let her know,” he said, and hung up the phone, uncaring if the woman was finished talking or not.
“Who was that?” Haven asked.
“The best divorce attorney in eastern North Carolina.”
Haven’s face went pale. “I didn’t mean for you to find out this way,” she said, wringing her hands together. “Did you know the divorce rate for newly—?”
“Don’t give a damn about some useless fact at this moment.”
“I have good news. Well, it’s good news for one of us, but if you’ll listen to me, then I think everything will work out for the best.”
“I am all ears,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Bella needs you. Her husband has left her, and she’s…she just needs you.”
“I don’t want her.” Yes, he felt bad for her, but the sharp pain of learning about her marriage had dulled considerably in the past few weeks. While he cared about her, in a way that could only be described as sentimental affection, she was his past and her choices would have consequences she would have to deal with. “She also has a family to help her, so she’s not all alone. Not like you.”
She visibly flinched. “I’m not alone.”
“Compared to the rest of us you are.” But not anymore. He refused to let her push him away again.
Haven tried again. “But this could be your chance to win her back, to finally be with your first love. The mother of your—”
“She was the mother of a child I wanted, but you know what happened, and I don’t care to repeat the conversation,” he said sharply. “Besides, I’m already married.”
Tears ran down her face. “This is just a marriage of convenience and you know it. Go to her.”
“I don’t want to go to her.”
“But she needs you. She’s pregnant and all alone.”
His jaw worked. “Damn it, Haven. That’s not fair. Why would you lie to me about that?”
“I’m not lying. She said so herself. This is your chance. Don’t be too proud to take it.”
“Fine, I’ll go.”
His easy acceptance of her reasons made her knees threaten to buckle, but she stood strong. She had to. “Okay.”
“But first, you have to say you don’t love me.”
“I—I,” The words got stuck in her throat. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t lie. Not anymore. “I can’t.”
He took her hands in his. “Then I’m not going.”
She could not be responsible for their unhappiness. It was bad enough she prevented him from getting back together with Bella after her fiancé had dumped her. But if she told him that, he would hate her forever. But true love required sacrifice, and she loved Heath more than anything else in this world.
“After Peter left Bella, she wanted to reach out to you, to see if the two of you could work things out, but I—” She began to falter, and her lips began to quiver. “I told her you were involved with another woman and it was serious.”
He let go of her hands. “You lied to keep us apart.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Did you really hate me that much?” He scrubbed his face with his hand. “Now it all makes perfect sense. The reluctance…the way you wouldn’t quite open up to me.
Fuck
.”
“I’m sorry.” She stepped closer to him, but he backed up.
“Don’t. I’m—I thought we could have something, but you’re still so caught up in the past that you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”
“Yes, I can, which is why I’m making things right.” She clenched her hands into fists. “It’s
killing
me to do this.”
“Why—because you actually love something more than that damnable pride of yours?”
She shrugged helplessly. “I want to fix it.”
“By sending me away.”
“Don’t you care that I lied to her about you?”
“Yes, I care, but fuck it all, Haven. If Bella had wanted to be with me, then she would have found a way. She wouldn’t have listened to her friends. She chose to leave with Liam, to marry him. Those were her choices, just like I chose to marry you.”
“But I was really convincing.”
His gaze raked over her. “Yeah, you really were.” Shaking his head, he sliced his hands in the air and turned away, moving to the front door. “I need to go.”
“So you’ll go to her.”
He cast a glance over his shoulder. “What do you think?
The door banged shut behind him. “I think I just set the one I love free, and it hurts like hell.”
*
Three hours later, Haven sat on bed, her knees drawn to her chest as she replayed their argument in her head. She had been right to tell him about Bella. She had to right… otherwise, her heart pinched.
He had to love Bella and want to fix things. Years of separation and circumstance couldn’t diminish what they had.
But what about your love? Your circumstances?
It wasn’t meant to be. It made no sense for us to go from enemies to lovers.
Love doesn’t have limitations.
“Love doesn’t have limitations,” she whispered. But she sure as hell had put love into a box. Then shoved the lid on and wrapped it up with duct tape.
Gotham jumped on the bed, rubbing against her legs and purring. “At least I never have to worry about you leaving. Gotham couldn’t survive two days without me.”
The phone rang and she scrambled for it, thinking it was Willow. She’d tried calling her earlier, but she had been sent straight to voice mail.
Barely glancing at the screen, she answered it. “Willow, I’m—I sent him away.”
“Ma’am?”
She held out the phone and looked the number. “Who is this?”
“This is Brenda from County Med. I’m looking for Heath Ambrose’s next of kin, and the first in-case-of-emergency number that came up in his phone was yours.”
The room turned blurry. Her heart slammed against her chest. There wasn’t enough air in the room and she struggled for oxygen to fill her lungs.
“Hello?”
Say something.
“This… this is his wife.”
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Ambrose, but your husband was involved in a car accident, and we need you to come down to County.”
“How bad was it?” She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he were alive. If he were dead, wouldn’t they want her to come identify the body, not just come down there?
“I can’t say, honey. I just make the calls. I’m so sorry.”
Forget her heart breaking, it shattered into thousands, no
millions
, of tiny pieces. “I’ll be right there.”
Chapter Sixteen
‡
W
ith a lump the size of the Appalachian Mountain chain lodged in her throat, Haven sped to the hospital, breaking about a dozen traffic laws on the way, but she didn’t give a damn. Though he wasn’t hers anymore, the thought of his broken body lying in the hospital made her want to scream and rage against the unfairness of it all.
She’d lost too many people in her life to death—her parents incredibly early while her grandparents had passed within months of one another to old age and sickness. And heartbreak.
Eyes blurry, she checked with the receptionist. “I’m here to see Heath Ambrose. What room is he in?”
Please let him be alive. I don’t care if he’s lost every limb—I just want him alive.
“Give me just a minute, honey.”
Behind her, a man complained loudly, capturing her attention. “You’re late.”
Haven glanced around and saw a woman with short dark hair standing near the entrance with a dog on a leash.
She smiled. “Seems to me that I’m right on time.”
“Then what are you waiting for—let’s go.”
“I’m sorry but only family is allowed,” the receptionist said and Haven turned back to her. “Do you have any ID?”
“Not really.” Her driver’s license wasn’t in her married name. She silently cursed herself for being so damn stubborn about something she really didn’t care about. She was more than her last name, but right now, she wished it was exactly like Heath’s. “We were married a couple of months ago, and I haven’t had time to change—”
“Thank God you’re here, Haven,” Luke said, joining her at the desk. He had on blue scrubs, and his eyes were rimmed in red. “She’s my sister-in-law. What room number?”
“5641”
“Is Heath all right?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t had time to check in on him. My—fuck—sorry. Lily… her car hit his truck. Apparently, a dog ran out in front of her and she swerved to miss it. It was around a curve. Heath never saw her coming. They’re doing CT scans right now.” His voice wavered but didn’t break.
Though she was going through hell, wishing she had been brave enough to tell Heath how she felt, she hugged Luke. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” He took a breath. “Let’s get to Heath, so I can go back to her—if I can.”
Luke shuttled her through the swinging doors and down passageways that she knew she’d never be able to remember. He shoved his card through the reader and pulled her through, bypassing the first-floor cafeteria.
The elevators seemed to take forever as she waited. Dread pooled in her stomach, making it roil.
“Thank you for coming. I didn’t know if you would,” Luke said. “We hadn’t seen much of the two of you, and Heath mentioned you were working a lot, but… yeah, thanks for coming.”
“You were the one who told them to call me?”
He nodded as the elevator doors opened. “You’re still his wife, right?”
They stepped inside.
“Yes.”
Luke smiled, and though she knew he was Heath’s adopted brother and they looked nothing alike, it reminded her of him so much that her heart ached even more fiercely.
The fifth floor was hushed, only the sounds of monitors and the squeak of Crocs filling the hallways. Most of the doors to the private rooms were closed, so if anyone was talking or watching television, she wouldn’t know.
Her heart raced faster and faster until it felt as though it was sprinting. Her breathing sped up to match it.
“Don’t pass out on me now,” Luke said, stopping to read a chart. He sliced his gaze to her and then back at the chart, his dark brows furrowing as he scanned through it.
“I’m not.” Rubbing her hands together, she forced her breathing to go slow and deep.
“Good.” Luke’s face was grim as he opened the door. “He’s going to be hooked up to some different machines, so don’t be—” His pager went off, and his face went white. “I have to—
damn it
, not now.”
“Go.” She gave him a little push when he didn’t move. It was clear that he was torn between staying and going wherever he needed to. “Seriously, go. I can handle it.”
He gave her a rough kiss on the forehead. “Thanks, little sister.”
Before the door closed, Haven stepped inside. She took one look at her husband and clapped her hand over her mouth to keep from screaming.
Heath lay pale and still, IVs were hooked up to his left hand, while a heart monitor was clipped to his pointer finger. His normally tan face and flushed cheeks were deathly pale. Dark bruises were under his eyes, a result of impact from the air bag, she guessed.
More bruises mottled his neck. Slowly, his chest rose and fell.
Since Luke hadn’t explained the extent of his injuries, she had no idea how serious they were, but if she had to judge on looks alone—she swallowed down another lump in her throat.
Edging closer to the bed, she tried to stop her body from shaking uncontrollably, but the truth was hard to ignore.
He could have died today. He could have died thinking that she didn’t love him. Even if he’d chosen Bella over her, didn’t he deserve all the facts in order to make that choice?
His pinky finger twitched.
She rushed to the bed and grabbed his hand, crawling into bed beside him, uncaring if it was against the rules.
He could be dying for all she knew.
“I’m here. It’s me. Haven.” She kissed his bruised cheek, taking care not to press too hard. “I’m not going anywhere. So you can’t either.” Her voice broke, cracked like the rest of her, exposing her vulnerable heart. “You trusted me with so much, and I’m going to do the same. I’m going to trust you, but you have to come back to me, Heath.”
One of the monitors started beeping faster, and she panicked. She had to tell him—it was now or never.
“I have a confession to make,” she whispered in his ear. Tears fell hot and wet on their skin as she continued. “
I love you
. I’ve
always
loved you, from the very first time I saw you. But you weren’t mine and when you became Bella’s I was so jealous and guilty of having feelings for you that I didn’t know what to do, except to become a horrible person whenever you were around. Then it just became a part of my personality—I snapped at everyone, but you most of all you. And I’m so sorry.”
She was sobbing now, loudly. Her chest heaved and her body shook from the force of them. “I’m sorry for hurting you, for pushing you away, and trying to push you back to her. I want you for myself. I
need
you. I know you can’t hear me, but please don’t go to her. Please stay with me.”
Laying her hand over his steadily beating heart, she whispered brokenly, “Please stay.”
“Until we’re seventy,” he croaked.
Heath grimaced as Haven half-screamed into his ear and sat up. “You’re alive. Oh my God. You’re alive.” She went scarlet. “And you’re awake.”
“I am. A little worse for wear, but all in all, I’m okay.” The IVs in his arm got caught in the railing when he tried to take her in his arms. His body protested slightly. He was sore all over from the wreck. “Come here, baby, and let me hold you.”
Without any hesitation, she went willingly into his arms. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”
“But not awake?”
“Depends on how awake you were,” she said with a sniff. Her entire body trembled.
“I was slightly awake, but the drugs they’ve given me make things fuzzy,” he lied.
“Oh, well, that’s good. Do you know what happened?”
“I remember a car coming at me, but that’s about it.”
“It was Lily Sawyer’s. Luke is here. He says she’s in a coma.”