Authors: John Goode
I wasn’t sure how to react to that since her husband was a first-class idiot. “That’s a… bad thing?” I offered.
She laughed. “I suppose. Lord knows, after Kelly things haven’t been ideal, but I think it was the last straw. She told him tonight, and he went off on her, so she came over here to talk, and it just got to me. I mean, here she is, a strong-willed woman who used to be such a go-getter, and to see her crying because she wasn’t sure if she wants to leave that ass of a man… it just gets to me to see a strong woman tore up about a man who doesn’t deserve her. When did we as a gender become so scared of being alone that staying in a loveless relationship was better than leaving?”
It was the most I had heard her talk, and I had nothing to say back. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree or have opinions. I was just struck by how out there, with only part of her face lit by the streetlights, she looked a thousand times more delicate than she normally did. If you were to ask anyone in town what would be around after a nuclear war, the most popular answers would be cockroaches and Gayle. And I am willing to bet you that she was a thousand times more resilient than the bugs. But seeing her right there, right now… it just reminded me that she was a woman too.
“Look at me blabbing away,” she said, standing up. And just like that, her mask slipped back into place, and she was good, invulnerable Gayle. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would have not believed it was true. “What has you out this late?”
Why was I there?
“Oh,” I said as my brain finally found a gear. “Needed to head over to Parker’s for something.” I stood there for a second, feeling like I was sixteen again and nothing in my body worked liked it was supposed to. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take, and I can tell you’re busy in there, and you probably aren’t even hungry, so it’s not a thing, but I was….”
She reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. “When you’re done, come over here, stop in, and we’ll have a coffee.”
The smile on my face felt foreign as I looked back at her. “I’d like that,” I said earnestly.
We stood there just looking at each other for several seconds before she said, “Well, go on over there and get whatever it is over with already. I’m not a young woman, and I don’t have time to dawdle.”
I chuckled as I turned and jogged back across the street.
“That’s some good hustle, Coach,” she called after me.
Damned if I didn’t feel my face get red as I walked into the store.
Parker was sitting behind the counter. In front of him was a catalog, and beside it was the uniform order. “You ask me down here to verify a uniform order?” I asked him, closing the door behind me. The implication was that we could have done that over the phone.
“No,” he said, standing up. “Well, yes and no.” He sounded conflicted and gestured to one of the stools. “You want a Coke?” he offered as he walked into the back room.
I thought about the coffee that was waiting across the street and waved him off. “I’m good. So what’s this about?”
He came back in with a bottle of Coke in his hand. In this light he looked like his father when he was younger. “Were you aware how tore up Brad was about Kelly Aimes’s suicide?”
It was the first time I had heard someone refer to the boy’s death as a suicide, and it was as shocking as I imagined it would be. “The whole town was affected,” I said, not sure where this was going.
“Yeah, but Brad and Kelly had a history,” he said, sitting across from me. “They were friends for a long time, and he is harboring a lot of guilt over the death.”
That made little to no sense to me. “Why? Wasn’t like Greymark was one of the kids riding Aimes about being gay. Why would he blame himself?”
Tyler sighed. “Because he is a teenage boy, and everything in the world is about him. It’s worse than anyone really knows. I think he’s been tearing himself up over it since Kelly died.”
I nodded, accepting his words but still not getting any closer to figuring out what this had to do with me or my uniforms. “Okay, so Brad is upset. That was what you wanted to tell me?”
“He is so upset that he wants to find a way to make it up to Kelly. Something that would settle his guilt and make him gain some closure.”
Again I had no idea where this was going, and then my eyes fell to the uniform order. “What did he do?” I growled.
Tyler got up and tried to calm me down. “He didn’t do anything. He asked me to do something, and I told him that I wouldn’t. But I think you should know about it.”
“What did he want to do?” I amended my question.
Tyler turned the catalog toward me and pointed to the open page. “He wanted me to order those.” I looked at where his finger was and read the description.
My eyes couldn’t pull away from the black armband. “They make these?” I asked him.
“I was surprised myself,” he admitted, sitting back down. “It’s based on the Texas Rangers’ tribute to Danny Thompson in ’77. I looked it up, and they are completely legal for play, but I told him I wasn’t going to go behind your back and order them.” I nodded my head in agreement. “Instead I decided to bring you down here so I could beg you to order them.”
I looked up at him in amazement.
“I know we don’t know each other well, and you don’t owe me a thing. But I am begging you, on behalf of every single person who is still mourning the loss of Kelly, to order these uniforms and let them wear them. These cost more, but I will personally pick up the difference. I’ll mark them down to cost if you want. Just, please, let the team wear them for the season.”
His voice was nothing but emotion. It was obvious he was not used to asking for things.
“I can’t make a decision like this,” I said, knowing that was a half lie even as I uttered it. I
could
make a decision like this; I just shouldn’t because Raymond would lose his ever-loving mind. He wanted nothing more than for this whole incident to go away, and dedicating our entire season to Kelly, wearing tribute uniforms, was the farthest thing from going away you could get.
Tyler sighed and looked down. “I understand, Coach. Look, I don’t want to get Brad into any trouble. He was just trying to step up and do something for Kelly. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t punish him for this.”
I could do this; I could tell him to order these, and it would be just another nail in my coffin at Foster. Raymond would have it out for me, and anything less than a state championship would mean I was gone, and even a win didn’t guarantee anything. It was just too risky, not for something that was just symbolic.
I looked out the windows and saw the diner. Gayle was talking to someone as she took their order, and I suddenly felt ashamed. When did I become this scared man? Was he born when Becca died? And if the man I’d been was gone, then what was left? I traced a finger over my Marine Corps ring and saw our motto shine back at me.
Semper fidelis: always faithful.
Tyler was still talking, no doubt trying to convince me to change my mind, but I hadn’t heard any of it. I was tired of being scared, and it ended now.
“Order them,” I said, cutting him off. “Order them, and tell Brad you did it, but don’t tell him you talked to me.”
He paused as he tried to figure that out. “Why?” he finally asked.
“Because they need a bad guy,” I said, smiling. “They need something they all agree with to rally behind, and they need someone to stand up to. Order them, Tyler, and I will pay the extra cost for them. Just don’t tell Brad we talked. Let him think he talked you into it.”
“But… but he should know what you did,” he sputtered as I stood up. “I mean, he should know you’re on his side, Coach.”
I smiled at him. “And he will, after I spend the entire season seeming to be upset about his choice. Then I will slowly get wore down until I can admit to him that he changed my mind.” I looked Tyler right in the eye. “He needs a win—they all do. The kids at Foster need a real, solid win. And I plan on giving it to them.”
With that, I turned around and began to walk out. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I am keeping a lady waiting.” I tipped my imaginary hat to him and walked out to cross the street.
It was time to stop being afraid of a lot of things in life.
Everybody talks, everybody talks.
Everybody talks too much.
—Neon Trees
81 days left
B
RAD
I
RUSHED
into the classroom, trying to make as little noise as possible.
“Mr. Greymark,” Mr. Powers called from the front of the room. “I know the baseball team is on a seven-game winning streak, but that does not mean you can walk into my class at any time you wish.” This was a dick move, because he was wasting more time bitching about me wasting his time than me coming in late did.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Powers, won’t happen again.” I used my humblest voice and even gave him a quarter of my aw-shucks smile. I have been told it gives me the appearance of a scolded puppy and makes it almost impossible to continue to berate me any further.
He sighed. “Take your seat, and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Chalk another one up for the patented puppy eyes.
I moved to the back of the room and sat next to Jennifer, who was rolling her eyes at me. Her expression grew innocent, and she pantomimed sniveling a bit. “It w-won’t happen again, Mr. Powers.” I flipped her off as I pulled out my book. “One of these days that stare isn’t going to work, and you are going to be in actual trouble.”
I shook my head and pretended to look at the board. “Never happen. The power of the puppy eyes is foolproof.”
She laughed and pretended to watch Powers talk. “So let me guess—you’re late again because you were making the sex with Kyle?”
I looked over at her and said quietly, “I really think I created a monster.”
Jennifer paused. “Kyle?”
I nodded. “All he wants to do is have sex. I mean,
all
the time.” I looked around to make sure no one could hear us. “Like all, all the time.”
She gave me a strange look. “And this is bad how?”
“I’m tired!” I explained.
I was tired and sore. We had won seven games straight but not without a cost. We had paid for every single run with hours of agonizing practice that left me with about enough energy to kick off my shoes before I passed out. I had never been so tired in all my life, but I had no time to rest. As soon as we were alone Kyle would start kissing me, stripping me naked, and next thing I knew we were having sex.
And I was even more tired.
And sore, but I am not going into that.
Jennifer covered her mouth as she began to laugh at me. “Shut up!” I hissed at her. “This is not funny.” Of course, that only made her laugh more. “I’m serious. Do you know what it’s like to have someone wanting sex every second of the day? I love him to death, but God, I need a break.”
She snorted out loud, unable to contain her laughter. The entire class stopped as she put her head on the desk and just began to laugh insanely. “Is there a problem back there?” Mr. Powers asked us.
“We’re fine,” I said quickly. “Everything’s fine. How are you?” I asked and winced as soon as I realized I had just quoted
Star Wars
. I swear to you I was cool before Kyle corrupted me.
“Try the look,” Jennifer snorted between laughs. “That always works.”
I jumped up out of my seat and pushed her to her feet. “We need just a second. Won’t take long,” I said, leading her toward the door. “Just go ahead. We’ll catch up.”
Before Mr. Powers could say a word, we rushed out of the class and into the hallway. The second the door closed, Jennifer burst out laughing even louder as she leaned against a locker door to draw breath. “Are you kidding me?” I muttered as I led her out toward the quad. Last thing we needed was all the teachers in the building coming out to see how a wild hyena got locked in the hall.
“It’s not that funny,” I told her the second we hit the outside.
“Oh, it is,” she protested, finding a bench to sit down on. “It is in so many ways funny.”
I sat down next to her, trying not to see the humor, but if it was anyone else, I would have been laughing too. “I must be the only guy complaining about too much sex, huh?”
“Welcome to the ‘God, sex again?’ club. Most of the girls around here are in it. We have T-shirts and everything.”
I chuckled and all my anger drained away. “It’s not that I don’t like sex,” I mused. “I just need a break now and then.”
Jennifer began to giggle all over again. I nudged her, and she tried to sober up. “Okay, okay. I can do this,” she told herself. “Have you tried talking to him?”
I hadn’t, but I had a good reason for that.
“You know how Kyle is,” I began to explain. “He doesn’t take criticism well. If I say something, he’ll overthink it to death, and by the time he’s done we won’t even kiss anymore. I need a way to bring it up without him thinking I’m saying everything he does is wrong.”
She thought about it for a moment and then nodded. “Yeah, I can see him doing that.”
“Trust me, he will,” I added, not bringing up the two-day bout of silence that came from me saying I didn’t understand his cowboys in space TV show. I just didn’t understand what it was about. Kyle took it to mean I hated everything he liked, including movies and television shows and, it turned out, even kissing. I finally had to watch a few episodes on Netflix before he would let it go.
I still don’t understand what the hell that show is about.
“Well, you can always say you have a headache,” she said, giving me a grin. “Worked for women for ages now.” I gave her a not-laughing stare. “Okay, well you can’t use the ‘time of the month’ excuse, which means you’re left with faking a disease or telling him the truth. Or you can just get used to constant sex.”
“Man, I never thought I would be bitching about too much sex,” I complained, lying back on the bench.
“Have you tried not being so hot?” she asked sarcastically. “Because it’s hard for us mere mortals to resist.”