10-80: Line of Duty Series (15 page)

I remained inside of her and all of the emotions from that day and the past welled up, when I whispered against her lips, “Love you, D’asia.”

Her eyes closed, but I did not care if she would not acknowledge it. I knew what I felt and I would not stop until she admitted it, so she could close her eyes and run to the ends of the earth. I’d find her ass. I just did not know I would have the encounter so soon.

T
he next day
, I could not get out of the house fast enough. I didn’t wait for Zee, the nurse or anyone. I hopped my ass in the shower, put some clothes in a bag and was out. Last night, Ryan blew my mind. Literally blew my mind. I think he broke my body. I had limbs that were sore and I didn’t even know there were muscles in those areas.

Oh my God.

He stroked me to oblivion, then he did the whole anal play, which was hot as shit. Finishing with his long, thick dick rocking me to another universe. I had heard of post-sex conversations being crazy, but what he said last night was too much for me to handle. It seemed like everything was working out. There had to be something wrong. It was too good to be true. Ryan McFadden, a a police detective, and probably a future police captain and D’asia Carey, literally from
around the way
. This took LL Cool J’s song to another level. This did not happen in real life.

Around noon, I received a text from Mrs. Henry about a town-hall meeting that she thought I should attend even though I was no longer a resident. She said they had been talking crazy recently and thought that it might be good to have people with good sense at the meeting.

Before I went, I had a meeting with two of the partners. Makah Jackson and LaTonya Parris were both lawyers and they started Jackson, Parris & Associates from their basement to the thriving company it was today.

“How is it going, D’asia?” Mr. Jackson asked.

“It’s going great. I really love working here and the opportunity that you have provided for me.” I smiled because I wasn’t sure how they would take my next bit of news.

“Yes, we just received your grades and you are at the top of your class. That’s exactly what we like to see.” Ms. Parris added.

“Thanks so much.” I shifted in my seat. “I actually wanted to meet with you both because I know this company deals with mostly corporate law and policy. You do have a pro-bono sector and that sounds great. However, I was wondering if there was a way to make this a more permanent situation.” Mr. Jackson’s eyebrows furrowed. “The reason why I’m asking is because, as you already know, my brother was in some trouble and not because he’s a bad kid. He’s not. He was being recruited by a gang and they do not let up. Anyway, I had the opportunity to move and we did. Right? I’m raising him because my mother is on drugs. I’ve lived in
The Trap
all my life until a few months ago. My point is that, the career path that I’m taking is such a great opportunity, but I want to use it to help those that can be helped.”

Ms. Parris nodded her head.

“I’ve done some research and I know that pro-bono work is not as profitable, which I understand. However, if it was sectioned off so that twenty-five percent of the pro-bono work was geared towards people who cannot afford good lawyers like yourself and others in the firm and the other seventy-five percent towards the companies and corporations that take advantage of the lower class. From the local stores to the multi-national chains. It’s a constant thing in the neighborhood. Higher prices, disrespect towards the customers, threats and employment dismissals for fear of the union and a major disservice to education. There are a great number of things that could be addressed, but these cases could offset the cost of the other twenty-five percent. It was just a thought and honestly, I would love to be a part of it because as much as I love this opportunity, I want to also work with the people whose struggle I can identify with the most. The ones who are just like me trying to make ends meet and feeling stuck. Like no one cares whether they live or die. I want to be a part of that change and make a difference there. I understand if that is not something you are willing to invest in, but it is a major interest of mine.”

Whew.

There, I said it.

I said it and I meant it. I wanted to help people like me. We helped each other and that was how we survived. Jesse was right. They were hard words to hear, but he was absolutely correct.

“D’asia,” Mr. Jackson sighed and rubbed his hands through his locs.

Oh boy.

“This is the best news I heard all month.” He said with a smile.

What?

“Uh,” I uttered.

“Tonya and I,” he waved between the two of them, and continued, “have been having this conversation for the past eight years. We haven’t been able to focus our attention to it because we were always in growing mode and needed to pay the bills. However, over the past few years, our name is out there, the clients are coming in and we have a steady group. So, now we can focus on it. We actually just received a call from Detective Ryan McFadden and Captain McFadden about starting a coalition that involved mentoring, resource sharing and cross-services that would impact the youth. We’ve wanted to do that for the youth and for those that cannot afford legal assistance as well. We thought you would be a great person to start the process to run this department. Not because of where you are from, but we read your paper on social injustice and were moved.”

“Yes, it brought me to tears,” Ms. Parris added. “We’re from Brooklyn and the plan was always to give back, but we need to do more of that. So, you would be helping us fulfill our purpose as well.”

“Wow, are you serious?” I asked with my mouth still wide open.

“Yes,” Mr. Jackson nodded. “We are very serious.”

The two of them sat in smart, tailor-made suits, looking as regal as any lawyers should. Yet, they wanted me to help run a division of their organization.

Too good to be true.

“So, let me get this right? You want me to help run a division of your organization that is dedicated to pro-bono work for the lower-class and be the partnership liaison for the New York Police Department with the McFadden’s?” I stood up.

“Yes,” they both said in unison.

I was shaking my head.

What had I done in life to deserve this sort of blessing?

“Wow, I don’t know what to say.” I finally managed to get out.

“Well, you think about it and let us know. There is no rush, but the McFadden’s seem to be on a mission. One that I especially like, so don’t take too long.” He smiled again, showing all of his white teeth.

The man did not look like he was in his forties at all.

“Okay, okay. Will do.” I nodded.

T
he town hall
meeting had started fifteen minutes ago and already people were interrupting folks that were on the microphone. Some of these people I had not seen at any of the town hall meetings and they were the ones making the most noise. The middle of my head started to hurt from all the yelling and bickering. Mrs. Henry found me and slipped in the seat next to me.

“See what I mean.” She shook her head.

“Who are these people?” I asked.

“Girl, these people are folks from other communities who come to make their agenda known. They aren’t from
The Trap
.” She informed me.

“Oh.”

The speaker tried to get order, then one guy walked up and stood in front of the crowd. His hands were up and everybody including the person behind the podium quieted to let him speak, “I’m from Gowanus Projects in Brooklyn and I’m telling you that the police have taken their bullying tactics to another level. They hunt down our kids like common criminals, treat the residents like shit and will fuck with you to the point that you catch a case. Now that the massacre is being televised, the issue is being brought to life. This shit is old, but we keep trying to march, preach and converse about this shit, but it’s time to take action. A life for a fucking life.”

What
?

Everybody started to murmur, a few older folks got up to leave. The speaker tried to interrupt him, but he started to chant,
a life for a life
.

I had enough and before I realized it, I stood up and started yelling, “Noooo, Noooo.”

My hands were flailing back and forth, as I kept yelling, “Nooooo.”

People quieted down as I yelled in the small auditorium.

“Have you lost your fucking minds? A life for a life?” I projected with all the venom that I felt was being pushed into the atmosphere. “Noooo,” I shook my head.

“Sister, you have to understand…”

“No, I am no sister of yours.” I was yelling. “Have you let this crisis drive your own humanity to another level? To the point that you are willing to take a life because of one that was taken. You think this will solve anything. There is being vigilant and there is being cowardly. Let’s face some facts. In our neighborhoods, there are some scary characters. I’ve lived in
The Trap
for twenty-three years, I should know. I cannot imagine what it will be like to police such a place. How many of us have been a subject of violence? I’m in no way excusing the authorities for their actions and senselessness that has crossed our screens, but I’m saying, let’s deal with us first. Cops are killing our youth, let’s teach them how to be vigilant, stand to fight another day, respect authority and do so in a way that will save their lives. Let’s fight fire with fire. Use the power of the pen, not our mouths and guns. You want to start a war and we are the ones that will be collateral damage. Don’t you dare sit here and call me your sister, when you or no one else lifted a finger to help feed me and my brother because we didn’t even have thirty cents for fucking oodles and noodles. Where are the days where we looked out for each other? Where we did not allow drugs, gangs and anything disrupt our neighborhoods. Those days are gone and you bring your ass from Gowanus to spread your toxic message of kill a cop. Are you fucking crazy?”

I sighed because my head was pounding. I moved my hair out of my face and continued, “Take that shit back to Gowanus and explain to the parents of those kids that will do your bidding why they are in Rikers and see if they will be down for the cause. My guess is they won’t. You won’t be putting money on their books and taking the trip to see them. You won’t deal with that reality. You also won’t be dealing with the reality of having to take a life or that officer that was just trying to do his job. You won’t have to speak to that parent about the facts that their child was a casualty of a senseless war you want to start that will solve nothing. Are there corrupt cops? Yes! Most definitely. Are they all corrupt? No! A police officer, a man that I love, was shot in the line of duty. He’s a great cop and he worked this area. Helps out the neighbors and tenants more than we do. So don’t go around acting like they are the menace to society when we don't even look in our own backyards. I’m sorry for the loss of L.A., Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Sandra Bland and the many more that are no longer with us because of ignorance, racial profiling, trigger happy and power hungry police officers. But that is not all of them, so don’t you dare start your bullshit about killing more people. Enough is enough.”

I was so physically drained and caught up in what I was saying that I didn’t realize that tears were pouring down my face, Mrs. Henry was standing next to me with her hand around my waist and I was nearly leaning against her.

The man that I was talking to stared at me for a bit, until someone started clapping. Then more joined in and before it was over, everyone including the speaker was clapping. I did not say anything for anyone to agree, I just had enough of us trying to blame where we were in life. That was a lesson I learned over the past year.

I turned to leave with Mrs. Henry right next to me. My eyes were down because everyone was still clapping and I really wanted to get out of there. As we were approaching the door, I looked up to see a figure in jeans, a button-up shirt and a puff jacket with a baseball cap on his head, with gray eyes peering down at me.

It was Ryan.

His arms were extended and outstretched. He was here.

Oh my God. He was here! He heard me and he was welcoming me.

With no real thought, I let go of Mrs. Henry and walking right into Ryan’s arms, face-planting right into his chest. His arms automatically wrapped around me, cocooning me in his safety bubble. I hugged him hard and did not want to let go. I didn’t know if they were still clapping or not, but Ryan was here and I felt safe. The world did not seem so lost anymore.

His mouth was at my ear, when he said, “Love you too, D’asia.”

I exhaled and squeezed him more.

“Proud of you, sweetness.” He added.

"
B
lack lives do matter
." D’asia said with force.

"D'asia, all lives matter,” I tried to reason with her.

"Well, I'm black, my black people are dying and there doesn't seem to be a state of emergency around that. So, black lives matter."

"Okay, well it seems that you are excluding me because I'm white and I wear a badge. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I took an oath that says all lives matter. So what does that mean to you?"

"No, you need to recognize that you are a white cop in a position of power and be honest about all the shit that's going down. Black lives don’t matter? Come on Ryan. You know as well as I do that there is distinct and built-in institutionalized racism. All, I am saying is that, black lives matter because apparently to some they don’t.”--

“Touché, babe. To some they don’t, but not all.”

“Who said all?”

“Okay, okay, guys. I get it. You guys are debating like you are on the debate team. This is just high school.” Zee was standing in between D’asia and I have the mock, but very real debate about the term, black lives matter.

“You get our point. You are going to have to argue both sides of the coin. It cannot be all just what you think, the point of the debate is to take their valid point and invalidate it.” D’asia clarified.

“And, it’s not about pointing fingers, per se. You have to take their point, but make sure yours stronger. Like D’asia said, black lives matter is important to note because Black people are intentionally left powerless in the court of law, lack of justice, and list your points.” I finalized.

Tomorrow we were going back to Zee’s first debate in Brooklyn. He had joined the team a few months ago and always had D’asia and me arguing against each other since we were working in the justice career.

They had moved out a week after the community meeting and the declaration of love. I was sad, but I understood. My lady had a plan and I would make sure she obtained her goal, no matter what. We saw each other often and they even joined us for Sunday dinners at least once a month. She had wanted to make sure she had dinner with The Henry’s and her Aunt Birdie at least once a month, to keep the connection. During the last dinner, they told D’asia that her mom was arrested in Pennsylvania and her sentence included a mandatory drug rehab program. When she told me, her voice sounded hopeful, but I could tell she did not want to help too excited.

My girl had really been working on getting her life back. She even started hanging out with some of her classmates and co-workers. This was her attempt to trying to enjoy her twenties. I didn’t care as long as we ended up in the same bed.

Zee was in the band, on the debate team and a member of the science cadets. He kept busy and his woes with the law never arose again. With his and Reggie’s feedback, I was actually able to team up with my district and my mom’s to make the program and recruit other officers to join the cause of mentoring the youth. It was like revitalizing the old
Dare
program, but ours was called
Unite
. Surprisingly, there were many cops that signed up and with an increase presence in the community, with young people and working towards a common goal, crime had been down. It was amazing to look at the statistics.

My mom’s and my relationship had been a lot better, although she kept Sanchez close, but not near me. My Uncle Cliff’s test results were negative, so that was a major weight lifted off the family. Jesse signed up for the Police Academy, with the goal to work specifically with
Unite
.

Zee left us on the couch to finish our debate.

“So, if I say black lives matter, that’s not a knock to any other life.” D’asia continued.

“Okay, but if I said blue lives matter, then does that mean our lives are worth more than others?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, there have been police killings. I get it. There are even ten-thousand dollars in reward money sticker on the back of every police vehicle in New York. So, clearly blue lives matter to those in blue, right. I’m saying, black lives should matter to more than those in blue. They should matter for black, white, red, purple, green and blue. There are clear and too many cases of discrimination. This stems from the mindset that we don’t matter, Ryan. That we are second class citizens. We aren’t and we matter.”

I nodded because I could sit in my bubble all I wanted and act like what she was saying was not true, but not only did I see it, but I’ve heard the comments and seen the cavalier attitudes towards black people. That shit was not cool, but it really never impacted me until now. She wasn’t just a black friend that I was acquainted with or worked alongside. Fuck, she was my partner in every way and it was not okay. The thing that plagued me was that I was lucky enough to have this opportunity, but so many others didn’t. There were so many internal hurdles to overcome including experience, bias, past behavior, the media prejudice and flat out racism. These things contributed to the everyday actions of all of us, especially those in authority.

“I got you, sweetness.”

“Don’t say that to shut me up, Ryan. I’m serious.” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“Nope, I do get it. I guess, it never really impacted me in such a personal way before. I’m just being honest.” I grabbed her hand as she sat curled in the corner of the sofa. “I love you, D’asia and I swear to God if someone ever mistreated or did something against you, I’d lose my badge. Since you’ve come into my life, I’ve started to understand more and more, but I’m lucky that way. It makes me a better person. More well-rounded and not jaded. I’m just concerned about the people that don’t have that opportunity.”

“But, you’ve provided the people of Harlem that opportunity with
Unite
. The ability to build relationships with the community will and has caused a domino effect for all involved. We just have to start with one person at a time, one community at a time and continue to build.”

D’asia scooted over to me on her knees and straddled me. “I’m so proud of you, Ryan McFadden.”

She kissed my lips and I held her head to me to take the kiss to another level. When she pulled back, she continued, “And let’s be clear. I’m the lucky one.”

Shaking my head, she put her fingers over my lips. I did one of her moves and grabbed them to bring them to the middle of my chest. “No, sweetness. In any equation, I win.” She smiled. “Love you, D’asia.”

“Zee’s here and he’s awake.” She smirked.

“So.”

“So, there’ll be no hanky-panky. Plus, we have to go to Vic’s in thirty minutes.”

“It won’t take long.” I bit her neck.

“What’s up with Vic,” She was trying to change the subject.

“Oh, babe. That’s an entire other book.”

“Okay. You can start at any time,” she urged.

“What’s the sudden interest in Vic?” I pulled back to look at her face.

She smiled that devious smile and said, “Well, he ask me if I had any friends and I just might.”

Hmm.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah, she’s in one of my classes.”

“What’s her name?”

“Kat.” She smiled deviously.

“Why do I get the sense that you are up to something?” I asked because I knew she was.

“Are you going to start his chapter or not?”

“Okay, okay. Where shall I begin?” I leaned back against the sofa.

“How about the beginning?”

“Okay. You asked for it. One upon a time…”