Zoolarious Animal Jokes for Kids (2 page)
A: Hang in there!
Q: What do you get when you cross a rabbit and frog?
A: A bunny ribbit.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a daisy?
A: A collie-flower.
Q: What does a cat say when it's surprised?
A: “Me-WOW.”
Q: Why did the parakeet go to the candy store?
A: To get a tweet.
Q: What do you have if your dog can't bark?
A: A hush puppy.
Q: Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
A: If they flew over the bay they'd be bagels!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a rabbit?
A: You get hare in your milk.
Q: Why did the horse keep falling over?
A: It just wasn't stable.
Q: How do fish pay their bills?
A: With sand dollars.
Q: Which creatures on Noah's ark didn't come in pairs?
A: The wormsâthey came in apples.
Q: How do you shoot a bumblebee?
A: With a bee-bee gun.
Q: Why did Fido beat up Rover?
A: Because Rover was a boxer.
Q: What do you get when an elephant sneezes?
A: You get out of the way!
Q: What kind of animal do you take into battle?
A: An army-dillo.
Q: What kind of bird likes to make bread?
A: The dodo bird (dough-dough).
Q: What do you get when your dog makes your breakfast?
A: You get pooched eggs.
Q: Why did the horse wake up with a headache?
A: Because at bedtime he hit the hay.
Q: What do trees and dogs have in common?
A: They both have bark.
Q: Why do bumblebees smell so good?
A: They always wear bee-odorant.
Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope.
Q: Why was the Tyrannosaurus rex so boring?
A: He was a dino-snore.
Q: What is a frog's favorite drink?
A: Croak-a-Cola.
Q: What is the scariest kind of bug?
A: A zom-bee (zombie).
Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A: A pouch potato.
Q: What happened when the sharks raced each other?
A: They tide (get it . . . they tied).
Q: Why couldn't the goats get along?
A: They kept butting heads.
Q: What kind of bats are silly?
A: Ding-bats.
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They just eat whatever bugs them!
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish (tune a fish).
Q: What did the horse say when he tripped and fell down?
A: “Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy-up!”
Q: If people like sandwiches, what do lions like?
A: Man-wiches.
Q: When do fireflies get stressed out?
A: When they need to lighten up!
Q: Why do rhinos have so many wrinkles?
A: Because they're so hard to iron.
Q: Where did the turtle fill up his gas tank?
A: At the shell station.
Q: Why did the pony get sent to his room without supper?
A: He wouldn't stop horsing around.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the squirrel it could be done.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove it wasn't a chicken.
Q: What do you give a horse with a bad cold?
A: Cough stirrup.
Q: Who falls asleep at a bullfight?
A: A bull-dozer.
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A. World hissstory.
Q: What do you get when you cross a goat and a computer?
A: A ram.
Q: What do you call an insect that complains all the time?
A: A grumble-bee.
Q: Why were the deer, the chipmunk, and the squirrel laughing so hard?
A: Because the owl was a hoot!
Q: Why did the cat and her kittens clean up their mess?
A: They didn't want to litter.
Q: What is a sheep's favorite kind of food?
A: Bah-bah-cue.
Q: What is a hyena's favorite kind of candy?
A: A Snickers bar.
Q: How do sea creatures communicate under water?
A: With shell phones.
Q: What do you call a monkey who won't behave?
A: A bad-boon.
Q: What kind of bugs read the dictionary?
A: Spelling bees.
Q: What do you call a calf that gets into trouble?
A: Ground-ed beef.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur who's scared all the time?
A: A nervous rex.
Q: What do you call a polar bear in Hawaii?
A: Lost!
Q: Why was the dog depressed?
A: Because his life was so ruff.
Q: What does a rabbit use to fix its fur?
A: Hare-spray.
Q: What kind of insect is hard to understand?
A: A mumble-bee.
Q: Where do you take a hornet when it's sick?
A: To the wasp-ital (hospital).
Q: Who made the fish's wish come true?
A: Its fairy cod-mother.
Q: Where do pigs like to take a nap?
A: In their ham-mock.
Q: What do you call a cow that can't give milk?
A: A milk dud.
Q: Why did the chickens get in trouble at school?
A: They were using fowl language.
Q: Where does a lizard keep his groceries?
A: In the refriger-gator.
Q: Why is talking to cows a waste of time?
A: Whatever you say goes in one ear and out the udder.
Q: What do you get if a cow is in an earthquake?
A: A milkshake.
Q: How does a farmer count his cattle?
A: With a cow-culator.
Q: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
A: Because the cow has the udder one.
Q: Where do rabbits go after their wedding?
A: They go on their bunny-moon.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog with a cell phone?
A: A golden receiver.
Q: Where did the bull take the cow on a date?
A: To dinner and a mooovie.
Q: What is the world's hungriest animal?
A: A turkeyâit just gobble, gobble, gobbles!
Joe: There were ten cats on a boat and one jumped off. How many were left?
Jack: I don't know, Joe. I guess nine?
Joe: No, there were none! They were all a bunch of copycats.
Q: How come hyenas are so healthy?
A: Because laughter is the best medicine.
Q: Why don't dalmatians like to take baths?
A: They don't like to be spotless.
Q: What do you get when sheep do karate?
A: Lamb chops.
Q: What happened to the mouse when it fell in the bathtub?
A: It came out squeaky clean.
Q: Why did the cowboy ask his cattle so many questions?
A: He wanted to grill them.
Q: What is a duck's favorite snack?
A: Cheese and quackers.
Q: What do you call a cow that's afraid of everything?
A: A cow-ard.
Q: Why did the rooster go to the doctor?
A: It had the cock-a-doodle-flu.
Q: How do birds get ready to work out?
A: They do their worm-ups.
Q: What kind of insects are bad at football?
A: Fumblebees.
Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A: No eye deer (no idea).
Q: Why is it so easy for an elephant to get a job?
A: Because they'll work for peanuts.
Q: What is the difference between a cat and a frog?
A: A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every day.
Q: What does a frog say when he washes windows?
A: “Rubbit, rubbit, rubbit.”
Q: What do you get when a lion escapes from the zoo?
A: A cat-astrophe.
Q: What is the best kind of cat to have around?
A: A dandy-lion.
