Zoe's Blockade (Destiny's Trinities Book 5) (6 page)

She peered at the tile and grout where it met the wood sill. There was dried mud there, tracked in by snowy boots, that she had not swept up properly. Among the grit, though, was a pale yellow sand. The particles were very fine and stirred in the air moved by Diego’s shoe. So, not sand. Something lighter.

“Pixie dust,” Diego said, his voice still soft. He looked up and around the hallway.

“Here?” Zoe breathed. “I thought they distrusted humans.”

“They hate
them
more,” Diego said, nodding toward the bridge. “You can’t speak their name in front of them. It freaks them out.” He moved back to the bench under the coats. “They might emerge, now the bonding has started and has marked you all. Or they might not.”

“You know, you could sit in the lounge room and be comfortable, if you really must stay here,” she told him.

Cole and Declan had already moved back into the kitchen, although Declan hovered by the door, waiting for her.

“You might want to use the room,” Diego pointed out. “I’m fine here. I have a lot to do.” He sat on the bench.

“Like what?” Zoe asked, puzzled.

“Oh, hello.” It was a woman’s voice. A strange one.

Zoe turned, startled.

A tall woman with masses of long golden blonde hair and very large blue eyes was standing in the middle of the hallway. Zoe had a hard time pulling her gaze away from her face. Her skin seemed to glow. She wore perfectly normal jeans and a sweater.

“You’re elvish,” Zoe said. She could feel her cheeks burning. “I mean…I’m sorry. You’re my first elf.”

The woman smiled and it was a lovely expression that made Zoe feel warm and happy. “I am Seramela. You can call me Sera.”

Zoe didn’t offer her hand. It was only humans who used the practice of shaking hands with a stranger.

“I’m Declan,” Declan said, coming up behind her.

Sera smiled at him, too. “And you are my first ghost,” she said.

Declan shrugged. “I’m the first ghost I’ve ever met, too.”

“Diego tells me you are also a healer.”

Zoe glanced at Diego, startled. None of them had mentioned that to him.

Diego lifted his phone. “It’s all over the Internet.”

Declan’s smile was warmer. “I was a doctor,” he agreed.

“You still are,” Sera said firmly. “The urge to heal does not fade.”

As Declan studied her, surprised, she turned to Diego and lifted a tangle of leather and buckles and two holsters, both with pistols in them. “Your spares, as requested.”

Diego got to his feet and kissed her and it was not a polite peck. “You are ever my savior.”

She laughed and dropped the bag in her left hand to his feet. “More supplies, including the machete.” She looked around the hall. “What a beautiful house,” she added. Then she smiled up at the ceiling. “Well, hello there.”

Zoe looked up quickly. There was nothing there.

“On the top beam,” Sera said softly. “They’re very shy. They seem to like elves, though. Lindal has a friend who almost lives on his shoulder.”

“Ferr,” Zoe said. “Diego told us about her.”

Sera looked around the hall once more, taking in everyone there, including Cole, who was standing in the kitchen doorway now, his chest still bare. “I’m interrupting,” Sera said. “I also left behind three vampires who are dealing with their own bonding, who I should get back to.”

Diego tilted his head. “They’re still fighting it?’

Sera looked troubled. “They have all been passing as human. One has a fiancé. It is…difficult.”

“The bonding will change that,” Diego said. “I was more stubborn than most and it worked on me.”

Sera looked at Zoe and rolled her eyes. “He caved, the moment he saw me.”

Zoe fought not to laugh as Diego looked affronted.

Sera spread her hands. “I really must not linger. Call if you need me.” She held her hand out to Diego and he caught the tips of her fingers with his, then let her go. It was a barely there touch, yet their expressions made Zoe feel embarrassed she was witnessing the highly intimate moment.

She glanced at Declan. He was watching the pair with his dark eyes narrowed, a look of heavy concentration on his face. She had seen that expression many times before, when he had been dealing with a tricky diagnosis.

Sera lifted her hand in a small wave goodbye and disappeared.

Diego stirred and returned to the bench. He did not look awkward about having been seen showing such raw emotions.

“I think I understand….” Declan breathed.

Diego looked at him. “Good,” he said flatly. “Go. Go and talk.” He sat down. “Have your discussion. Let the bond arrange things, while I take care of the rest.” He yanked one of the pistols from the harness, pulled out the clip and checked it, then snapped it back with a practiced motion and cocked the gun and put it beside him. He turned his head to look through the glass pane beside the door, toward the bridge.

When Zoe returned to the kitchen, Cole was at the sink, his arms crossed and his butt resting on the edge of the sink itself. She had reminded him more than once not to do that, as his habit of sitting on the edge of the big farmhouse sink had broken two of them, resulting in costly replacements.

She said nothing now. All the little domestic conflicts and compromises, the rituals they had developed, including her making every cup of coffee because Cole’s coffee-making skills were non-existent…all that had been superseded.

Declan opened the pantry door and looked inside.

“You’re hungry?” Cole said, surprised.

Declan shook his head. “I can open the door.” He closed it and opened it again and grinned.

Cole gave a weak smile.

Zoe couldn’t react at all.

“I wonder if I can feel heat?” Declan murmured, heading for the range.

“Shut the door!” Cole and Zoe said, together.

Declan halted, startled, looking from one to the other. How many times had Cole said that to him over the years? Even Zoe had got into the habit of reminding him whenever she had been visiting. It was too easy for someone else to ram up against open door and hurt themselves.

Declan moved back to the pantry door and shut it silently. He let his hand linger on the door handle, then looked up. “I remember that,” he said quietly.

Cole shifted his shoulders, easing them, as if they were strained. Perhaps they were. “We need to talk.”

Declan put his shoulder against the pantry door and crossed his arms, matching Cole. “Agreed.”

Zoe sighed.

Cole gave them an effortful smile. “Do either of you get the feeling that this bonding thing is going to ride roughshod over all our feelings and wishes and expectations?”

“I figured that out a moment ago,” Declan said. “When I saw Diego and Sera out there.” He shrugged. “I don’t mind. Of course I don’t mind. I’ve got life back…and I didn’t even know I had lost it.”

“It’s not the life you used to have,” Cole pointed out.

“I don’t care,” Declan said firmly. He pressed his hand against his chest, his fingers digging in. “I can
feel
and not just with my hands and nerves.” He dropped his hand. “If I get to have even a small fraction of what Sera and Diego seem to have, then I
really
don’t care about the rest.” His black gaze settled on Zoe. “You’re the only one fighting this, Zoe.”

She was startled. She was also confused. She looked at Cole. “You’re not fighting it?”

Cole drew in a breath and let it out. “Are you asking if I care that our marriage seems to have been blown apart in the last few hours, then yes, I mind…except you’re still here and that’s something I can work with. You scared the crap out of me when you walked out just then.” His green eyes were narrowed, the way he held them when he was in pain. “Only, you came back.”

“To talk,” she said.

“I’m trying hard not to judge, to not use old standards.” Cole grimaced. “Hell, I spent my entire adult life hiding my real nature from the whole world except for the very few people I trusted with the truth, so I know all about prejudice. I know how insidious it can be. Since I saw those claw marks on the Mustang I’ve been reminding myself of that over and over.” He let out a breath, almost a sigh. “I think you need to let go, too, Zoe.”

She jumped. “Me?”

“You’re holding onto some old ways yourself,” Declan said, his voice low.

Zoe pressed her lips together.

“Tell us why you walked out just then,” Cole said.

“You know why.” Her voice came out strained.

“I’m pretty sure I do know. Declan, too,” Cole said. “I just don’t think you do.”

“Of course I do!” she said hotly.

They both just looked at her.

Zoe shifted on her feet. Her socks were damp. She should take them off. Maybe get a fresh pair….

“Zoe,” Declan said.

She looked at him and pushed the words out. “Cole was with you first. I can’t take that away from either of you, now you’ve got it back.”

Cole shook his head. “That’s
just
like you,” he said softly. “Everyone else first, while what you want is back there in the dust.”

“It’s called being human,” Zoe said stiffly. “It’s what decent people do. I grew up hunting alongside my father and that world, that life, teaches you to watch out for yourself, first and foremast. Survival is the priority. I walked away from that when my father died. I swore I would not go back to that world and here I am,” she said bitterly.

“You loved your father,” Declan said.

“Of course I did!”

“How did he die?” Cole asked. “I mean, the real story. He didn’t die in a car accident, the way you told me, did he?”

Zoe wiped at her cheeks. “A demon took him.”

“Why didn’t the demon take you as well?” Declan asked.

Zoe’s heart squeezed. “My father…he….” She put her face in her hands, blocking out the light, trying to block the memory.

“He protected you,” Cole guessed.

She nodded. Her throat was too tight to speak.

“So, in fact, he didn’t look out for himself at all,” Declan said. His voice was closer. She didn’t have the courage to look. The miasmic stew of hot feelings swirling in her gut were making her feel dizzy and a little sick. “I don’t want to give up this life I worked so hard to create,” she said into her hands. “Only, if I fight for it, you and Cole will be hurt.”

“You don’t have to give up anything,” Cole said, his voice gentle.

That made her look. He was calm. There was even a little smile playing around the corner of his mouth. “You said it yourself, Zoe. You said you were still the same person I always thought you were, just with additions I hadn’t known were there before. That could be us, too.”

“You and me?” she breathed.

He nodded. “We stay the same. We stay married, only there are additions we didn’t know about before.”

“Only you
did
know about Declan before!” she cried. “You
loved
him. I held you every time you cried. I listened to your stories. You bled over his loss, Cole. That gaping hole has never gone away.”

Cole nodded. “We both have pasts that dog us, even now. Declan does, too. That’s what makes us human. I just don’t think we should go
back
there. If Diego is right, then we’re all going to be something more than human. More additions.”

“Additions, not subtractions,” Declan added. “We include, we don’t take away.”

Zoe wiped her cheeks again. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said flatly. “If you include me, then you’ll lose something.”

Declan laughed.

Even Cole smiled. “Didn’t you hear a word of what we were saying, a while ago?”

“We seem to have been talking for an ice age,” Zoe said tiredly. “Remind me.”

Declan answered, though. “Cole has loved you since he came back from Afghanistan the first time after he moved in here. I watched him meet you in the surgery, that day. I saw his heart drop onto the floor at your feet.”

Cole was staring at the floor, a hard frown squeezing his brows together.

“You…didn’t mind?” Zoe whispered to Declan. She thought her heart might explode if any more pressure was exerted.

“How could I mind?” Declan said. “I’d been in love with you for months already.” He gave her a skewed smile. “Cole losing his heart just confirmed I wasn’t wrong about you.”

“You didn’t say anything, either of you! You got married!”

Cole still wasn’t looking at them. “I loved Declan more, right then. There was no way I was going to fuck that up with badly timed confessions.”

Declan was nodding. “Then, you just sort of…fitted in. It was good. Life was good. I had Cole and you were still there. Not quite the way I wanted, but there anyway.”

“I was so afraid that if I said
anything
, it would all explode and I would lose
everything
,” Cole said. He lifted his chin and looked at Declan.

Declan nodded. “It felt so finely balanced, as if a single wrong move might destroy it all.”

Zoe remembered to breathe. There were little specks dancing in her vision. “Neither of you said anything to each other? Nothing at all?”

Cole shrugged. “I knew, anyway.”

“We both knew,” Declan added softly. “We knew what
we
wanted, anyway. We still don’t know what you want, though.”

She swallowed. “As Cole said, I don’t think it matters what we want anymore. The bonding is going to take care of that.”

“Just this once, Zoe,” Cole said. “Say what
you
want.”

She rubbed her eyes. They were still aching from the tears. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Declan said.

She looked at Cole. “I just can’t hurt you in that way.”

“You want Declan,” he said flatly.

Her gut twisted. “No! I want you both! I always have!” She felt her jaw drop. So much for not hurting Cole.

Only, Cole was nodding. The small smile was back on the corner of his mouth. His eyes were warm…heated, even. He and Declan exchanged a glance that seemed to be loaded with meaning.

Declan was moving toward her, very slowly. “Do you remember that time in the surgery when we worked on that frostbite case?”

She nodded. They had used snow to keep the foot from defrosting too quickly, to restore circulation slowly so the deadened toes would be saved. She had brought bucket after bucket of snow in from the courtyard behind the surgery. “It was something I remembered from a story I’d read as a child,” she said. “Except you used the idea anyway and it worked.”