Zane (Alluring Indulgence) (41 page)

Zane
stepped out into the bright sunshine, surrounded by the stench of too many
people in one place, frustrated at himself for walking out, but more so for
giving in to his thoughts. He’d never chased a woman in his life, never had to.
But he’d also never met a woman who filled every waking thought with memories
of her. He wasn’t sure how long it would take to get over her, but he knew for
a fact it would happen.

He
fucking hoped it would happen.

♀♂

 “You
can’t be serious?” V exclaimed when an incredibly beautiful, if not seriously fake,
woman walked up to the table, tapping Kaleb on the shoulder.

V
was sitting between Braydon and Brendon at a table that was filled with friends
of both the future bride and groom. They’d been at the club for a good hour,
and so far nothing had gone awry. Apparently, someone hadn’t put a leash on the
twins and the stripper – obvious by the long, fake extensions, the double d’s
that God didn’t bless her with, and the orangish tint to her skin – was proof
of that.

V
glanced over at Zoey to see her smiling like a kid on Christmas. She was
sitting between Gage and Kaleb, and had been alternating her time between
talking with everyone and dancing with one, or sometimes both men at the same
time. Her best friend had let down her hair since coming to Vegas, that was for
damn sure.

Since
she stepped foot in the club, V had vowed to have a good time. The first thing
she did was locate Zane within seconds of entering the darkened room. As far as
she could tell, he hadn’t looked at her once, but she hadn’t expected it
either. Ever since he’d turned around and walked out of the restaurant the day
before, she’d known that whatever had been between them was dissolving almost
as fast as it had flared up. Her heart hurt every time she thought about him.
Even sitting just fifteen feet away, V missed him fiercely, but she didn’t know
what she was supposed to do about that.

V
watched the blonde as she saddled up to Kaleb, smiling sweetly, and obviously
enjoying the attention of all the cowboys who were trying to undress her with
their eyes. If V had to guess, the woman was seeing dollar signs in every
single pair of eyes at the table. The woman/girl – V didn’t figure she could be
much over the age of twenty one if a day – stood up, then slowly made her way
around the table, teasing and taunting all of the men but never actually
touching them. When she stopped in front of Zane, V’s stomach lurched.

The
grin that split his face was profoundly sexy and boyishly charming all at the
same time. He didn’t touch the woman, but he didn’t look away either and V just
wanted to claw the bitch’s eyes out. It was too loud to hear what she said, but
whatever it was made Zane smile even more and when she leaned in close to his
ear, whispering something more, his eyes met hers briefly from across the
table. He never stopped smiling, but V knew he wasn’t smiling at her. She felt
sick.

Glancing
down at her drink, realizing it was empty, V pushed back her chair and rushed
across the room, her eyes on the bar and the much needed drink she knew awaited
her. There was no way she could do this. Seeing Zane was hard enough, but if he
even pretended to hit on another woman, she wasn’t going to be able to hold it
together.

“Hey.”
The deep voice startled her, and V nearly fell into the big man at her back.

Turning,
she looked up into beautiful, familiar eyes, and V had to force herself to calm
down. Beau. Ever the friend. “Hey,” she replied, moving into the line that
extended out from the bar. She wasn’t all that surprised to see how busy a club
like this one was, but V suddenly wished she were at home at Moonshiners, where
the bartender knew everyone, and there weren’t any lines.

Or
strippers.

“You
ok?” Zane’s voice was both soothing and calm, the complete opposite of her
emotions at the moment.

No.
No, she sure was not.
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Y’all
can’t run from each other forever, you know.”

V
glanced up at Beau, wishing he would mind his own business, but at the same
time appreciating the fact that he cared enough to check on her.

“Don’t
you have a stripper that would like to experience what it’s like to be the
center of an Oreo?”

“He’s
not like that, V. You know it, and I know it.”

“No?”
she questioned, glancing behind him to see what Zane was doing at the moment.
To her surprise, he was sitting by himself once again, staring down into his
beer. Damn him.

V
spent the last week coming up with all the pros and cons of being with Zane Walker
and she didn’t want to admit it, but the list was undoubtedly in his favor.

As
much as she wanted to pretend he wasn’t exactly what she wanted, V hadn’t been
able to come up with enough that would convince her. Even the “too young” that
she’d put at the very top of the list was bullshit, and she knew it. If
anything, Zane was more mature than she was in many ways. Especially when it
came to accepting his feelings. She just wasn’t sure why she couldn’t get past
that nagging feeling that told her to keep her distance.

“Dance
with me,” Beau said, pulling her out of the line and over toward the small
dance floor.

This
wasn’t a country bar, and quite frankly, V didn’t know the music, but at least
it was slow. Instead of fighting, because she wasn’t interested in making a scene,
V allowed Beau to pull her up against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“He
misses you, V. He might not admit it, but it’s obvious.”

V
looked up into those endless brown eyes. Beau Bennett was a devilishly handsome
man. Had she not been in love with Zane since almost the moment he put his lips
on hers, she could’ve seen herself dating Beau. But, she knew that would’ve
been all they had. In all of her thirty years, V had never allowed herself to
get close to any man. She hadn’t been looking when Zane stepped in her path
that one fateful night, but she hadn’t looked back either. Despite her fears –
mostly for Zane’s physical safety – V knew she couldn’t keep up this charade.
She would have to face up to her feelings sooner or later.

“I
miss him, too.” Maybe she’d get props for admitting she had a problem. Maybe
not.

Either
way, V couldn’t deny it. Not with Beau. They’d become good friends in the last
few months, and she couldn’t lie to him. She was pretty sure he’d see right
through her if she tried.

“It’s
not too late, you know.” Beau held her close, but not too close. His voice
soothed her, and she hoped they wouldn’t turn so that she could see Zane. If he
decided to hit on that stripper again, she was pretty sure she was going to
break down in tears.

She
didn’t respond to Beau’s comment, not quite sure if she was supposed to say
anything. Watching Zane with another woman was painful, thinking about not
seeing him every day was even more so. However, she couldn’t help but wonder whether
she was the right woman for him.

According
to him, at least, by the way he made her feel, she was the right woman. V felt
different when they were together, and not just when they were in bed. In so
many ways.

She
didn’t worry about what was to come, didn’t worry about why she was the way she
was, and she didn’t worry about who Zane expected her to be. He wanted her for
her, and that’s all anyone ever could ask for.

On
the other hand, Zane had nearly lost his life because of her. There were plenty
of Jake Sanders in the world, and since she’d always been the butt of the
jokes, or the topic of gossip, she knew Zane was going to risk his life any
time he decided that someone was in the wrong for what they said or did. V
wasn’t sure she could handle that.

She
couldn’t handle losing Zane. Not forever anyway. She’d much rather walk away
from him now and know that he was strong and healthy and would make some woman extremely
happy someday. If she didn’t, what might happen? That was the question that
constantly plagued her.

If
only her brain and her heart could somehow get on the same page. They weren’t
working together, and V was so confused because of it. Seeing him tonight,
she’d been beside herself with wanting to talk to him. Only he evidently didn’t
want to talk to her. At least not until she told him what he wanted to hear.
Unfortunately, V wasn’t sure she could. The more time that passed, the more she
wanted to, but she also knew that she was pushing him away with each passing
minute.

“Talk
to him,” Beau whispered in her ear and V looked up into his beautiful brown
eyes. “Now.”

V
pulled back, but she was instantly distracted by the tall, handsome cowboy that
took a step closer, successfully inserting himself between her and Beau.

“May
I?”

Zane’s
voice was like creamy, rich chocolate and V craved more of it. Without
hesitation, she allowed Zane to pull her into his arms. She settled within his
embrace, her face resting against his shoulder, the overwhelming scent of him
causing tears to prickle behind her eyelids.

“Are
you having a good time?” Zane asked the question, and V tried to discern the underlying
intent. She first thought he was trying to be sarcastic, but she didn’t hear
any heat in his words.

“No,”
she said sincerely, not turning her head to look at him.

“Me
either.” His breath was warm against her face, and she wanted to look up at
him, to taste his lips, but she didn’t. Knowing that this was as hard for him
as it was for her didn’t make her feel any better.

“Zane,”
she began but quickly shut her mouth again. What was she going to say?
Everything that was in her heart would likely have him angry with her because,
aside from the fact that she loved him, she still didn’t know whether they
could actually be together.

She
felt broken. He was finally whole once again. How would that work? She couldn’t
even go to her own house without having a mental breakdown. And even Greyson
told her that she needed psychological help.

While
she’d been at her mother’s house, V looked up post-traumatic stress disorder,
and she definitely recognized some of the symptoms. It just didn’t seem like
the right diagnosis though. She wasn’t the one who’d been through the
devastating experience. She was just a bystander to the horror. If Zane wasn’t
screwed up because of it, why would she be?

The
slow song ended, and a fast one took its place. Thankfully, Zane took her hand
and led her away from the chaos that erupted on the dance floor. She expected
them to return to the table, but to her surprise, Zane led her toward the back
of the club. She noticed a dark hallway and realized that was where Zane was
headed.

God,
she only hoped she didn’t do something stupid.

♂♀

No
matter what Zane told himself, he hadn’t been able to stay away from V.
Watching her as she danced with Beau had been too much. Although he knew his
best friend wasn’t hitting on her, he still couldn’t help but think that he should’ve
been the one holding V in his arms.

It
didn’t take him long to piss Tessa the Stripper off, and when she finally
realized he wasn’t buying what she was selling, she moved on. Hell, she had an entire
table of guys willing to give her at least a few minutes of attention, although
he’d be surprised if any of them actually intended to pursue her past the
little strip tease she was offering. Zane didn’t have any interest whatsoever.
When he’d looked over to see V staring back at him, Zane recognized the jealousy
on her face. Not that he was happy about it, but it told him everything he
needed to know.

So
walking away from him hadn’t been easy for her.

That
made two of them.

Standing
in the darkened hallway, having to dodge people as they moved in and out of the
bathrooms at the end of the hall, Zane wished he could sneak out with V in tow.
He wanted to talk to her and he didn’t, all at the same time.

“I
missed you.”

V’s
sudden admission wrecked him in ways he hadn’t expected. Quite frankly, Zane
figured V was going to blow him off in a big way. To hear her admit that she
missed him was something his heart hadn’t been prepared for it.

Lifting
her chin, Zane made her look at him. He stared down at her for a long time,
trying desperately to read her intentions. He didn’t want to hear what she had
to say if she was going to try and brush him off again. Selfish or not, Zane
wanted to move forward with her in more ways than one. Not the other way
around.

They
needed to focus on healing each other, not continuing to try and increase the
distance between them.

“Want
to get out of here?” He hoped she would say yes, although he knew the party
wasn’t over. Considering their moods, they probably weren’t livening up the party
much anyway.

“I
can’t leave Zoey,” she stated.

Zane
merely nodded, then took a step back from her. He knew this wasn’t going to go
the way he wanted it to and honestly, he was tired of being the one to pursue
her. He wanted to be with her. Hell, he’d even considered asking her to marry
him, but from the look she was giving him, he was receiving the brush off.