Zack's Montana Bride (Sweet, Clean Western Historical Romance)(Montana Ranchers and Brides Series) (11 page)

Lydia figured there was only one thing she could do. The same thing she'd always done when she'd messed up.

Fix the darned thing.

If she'd been unfair to Zack Buchanan there was only one thing she had to do. Make it up to him. Show him that his new wife was trying. Let him know that she was determined to try and put the past behind her. Now that they were together, now that this family had a home, a place of it's own, Lydia knew that she owed it to Zack to show him that she was trying real hard to make their family strong.

Lydia knew that she had to find some way to show Zack that the future meant something to her. She had to show him that the only future that really meant anything to her was the one that Lydia and Zack were destined to share together.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Zack arrived home to find everyone waiting for him in the parlor. Once he had removed his jacket what welcomed him, and what made him feel a warm glow of appreciation, was a scene of one happy family awaiting the arrival of their father from work.

The children were all seated on the rug in front of the fireplace, attired in neat dresses and bows in their hair. They were gazing at him with wide eyed, expectant looks. Lydia came to him when he entered the room extending a welcoming hand to him. She had a smile on her face that looked completely genuine and unreserved. Looking at her made a warm hand wrap itself around Zack's heart.

"We've been waiting for you." She gestured to the fireplace. "Come. Warm yourself."

Lydia turned to the children. "Give your father some space to get close to the fire," she said.

Daisy and Kate scooted to one side of the rug. Gretchen raised her eyes and gave Lydia a look that spoke of momentary revolt.

"Gretchen. Join your sisters over on that side," Lydia said.

"It's okay, Lydia. I'm not that cold. In any case, it's getting a bit milder outside. I've known worse," he admitted.

"Lunch is nearly ready," Lydia told him sitting down on the sofa. She patted the seat, indicating that he should take his place next to her.

Zack paused before sitting down and gazed into Lydia's eyes. The expression there was so different from the one he'd seen on leaving earlier that morning. Gone was the reserve, the resistance, the uncertainty. It had been replaced with what looked like a genuine enthusiasm at seeing him home; a real desire to make him welcome.

Zack sat down by Lydia's side and looked at her. She was so pretty. Her hair had been tied up into a neat arrangement. Her face had a pleasing color, he figured partly to do with the warmth of the room. But it looked like more than simply a physical warmth. Zack hadn't seen Lydia look at him like this since the day she and the children had arrived.

"Did you have a good morning?" she asked.

Zack nodded hesitantly. He wasn't used to coming home and describing his morning at work to anyone except Mrs. Brodie. And she was rarely all that interested.

"I guess so. One of the cows got stuck in some mud. We had to haul it out. Took a few of us. But we got it out eventually," he said.

Kate's eyes widened. "Is the cow okay. It didn't get hurt, did it?"

"No. Just left it with a bad temper, that's all."

Gretchen frowned. "Cows are horrible," she stated firmly.

"Gretchen. Don't say that," Lydia admonished her daughter.

"They are. Big, smelly creatures. I don't like them one bit," she said angrily.

Zack smiled. "Actually, I'd agree with Gretchen. They are smelly and they can get big. Especially if they eat too much," he said.

Gretchen's brows rose quizzically. She didn't respond to what Zack had said, but he could tell his agreement with what she'd said had taken her by surprise.

"But, cows are what this whole ranching business is about. I guess it would be nice if we herded horses, or some other nicer kind of animal." Zack scrunched up his nose and gazed at Daisy. "Something that didn't smell so bad," he said to her.

Daisy laughed and flashed a pleased look at Gretchen who just shook her head slowly.

Mrs. Brodie came into the parlor and announced that lunch was ready and on the table in the dining room. There were some yells of delight from Daisy and Kate. They all made their way into the dining room.

Zack could tell that Mrs. Brodie had made an extra special effort to make something nice. The children tucked in and had to be reminded that eating too fast would give them all a painful stomach to nurse for the afternoon.

Zack and Lydia sat right next to each other. It felt good to have her by his side. He glanced from time to time at her. Zack asked the girls what they'd been up to. It turned out they hadn't spent an hour being schooled by their mother. Lydia explained she'd spent the rest of the morning helping Mrs. Brodie, and then she'd done some reading in the parlor. The girls had had a fine old time, playing games around the house. Zack could only imagine the noises that must have filled the house in his absence.

Once the lunch was over and the cake eaten, the children left Lydia and Zack alone together.

For a short while after the children had left the room there was a silence that Zack sensed didn't have the same uneasiness of their time together in the kitchen earlier that morning. Eventually Lydia spoke, her eyes peering into his own, a look of focused sincerity in them.

"I'm sorry about this morning, Zack. I didn't mean for the day to get off to such a bad start," she said.

Zack shook his head. "Forget about it, Lydia. I already have."

"You were right. We should spend some time alone together. It'll give us a chance to talk." Lydia rolled her eyes. "And leave those children to their own devices for a while," she said with a smile.

Zack nodded. "They'll be fine. Mrs. Brodie told me she's got some plans for them this afternoon. Ones that'll keep then a bit quieter than I understand they were this morning," he said.

"They were a bit rowdy," she admitted.

"Don't worry about Mrs. Brodie. One thing she knows is how to keep rowdy hands quiet," Zack explained.

Lydia nodded. "I can believe that."

Zack rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "I was thinking it might be good for us to go out for a while," he suggested.

"Isn't it too cold?"

"This is mild compared to January or February," he said. "You just wrap yourself up. We'll be fine."

"Where did you have in mind?" she asked.

"I was figuring we could head on over to Joshua and Laura's place," he said.

He saw a glimmer of concern appear on Lydia's features. "Visiting? But what should I wear if we're visiting?"

"This isn't polite society, Lydia. People drop in on each other all the time. We don't have to get all dressed up. In any case, I have to sort a few things out with Joshua. Ranching is a round the clock business."

Lydia frowned and then nodded. "Okay. How far is it to their place?"

"It's a short ride on the buckboard."

Lydia glanced at the remaining slab of cake on the wide plate in the center of the table. "I think we should take something if we're going to pay a visit to your friend and his wife," she said.

Zack glanced at the cake. "Joshua does like his cake," he said with a grin.

"Well. That's settled then. When do we leave?"

"Right now, if you like," Zack responded.

And with that Lydia stood up and tugged on her dress. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

As he watched her leave the dining room Zack thought he'd never before seen her look so enthusiastic about doing something.

And that was fine because he was looking forward to talking with Lydia and seeing just how real was her apparent change of heart.

***

Lydia drew in a deep breath and felt the chill of the air fill her lungs. She looked across the beautiful landscape and sighed. The buckboard trundled slowly and noisily along the trail. Zack held the reins tight and his gaze was fixed steadfastly ahead of them on the trail that would eventually take them to Joshua's ranch.

"It is just so lovely here, Zack. I'd forgotten how gorgeous this place is," she said.

Zack nodded wordlessly.

Lydia gazed at the rolling hills and distant mountains, feeling a sense of wonder and awe that she hadn't felt for many a long year. It just wasn't the same, living in the city. Although there were undoubted advantages to city life, none of those compared to the indescribable beauty of this place. Montana had the capacity to fill a person's soul in a way that no city on earth could do. Just gazing off into the distance made Lydia feel truly alive.

She glanced at Zack. He looked like this was the most commonplace, ordinary thing imaginable. Then again, this was the place he'd called home for so long; this was the land that he inhabited every day. It was entirely normal for him to almost take for granted what was thrilling Lydia to her core.

He turned to her. "It makes me happy that you still like it here."

"Like it? I absolutely adore it," Lydia enthused.

"Are you sure you're warm enough?" Zack asked. Lydia felt the cool air on her face and drew the collar of the thick woollen coat around her neck. "I'm sure. Thank you for asking," she said.

Zack's brows furrowed. "Now, what kind of husband would I be if I didn't want to make sure my beautiful wife is warm and comfortable?" he asked.

Lydia smiled and lowered her head, a brief flash of embarrassment making it's way to her features. She didn't want him to see how his words had affected her. It wasn't the first kind thing he'd said since they'd started out on the trail to Joshua's ranch. The children had scowled when she'd told them that she and Zack were going to go out for a little while, but that they'd return, and that they were not to make things difficult for Mrs. Brodie. When the housekeeper had heard those words she had merely snorted and shrugged her shoulders defiantly. Lydia had left the house, sure that the children would be no match for Mrs. Brodie.

"You always did like this country," Zack said.

Lydia smiled and gazed off into the distance. "I did. I'd forgotten just how much."

"Easy to do when you've been through as much as you have," Zack said softly.

Lydia frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"You know. Having the kids. Living in the city. Being married."

"I'm married now," Lydia stated firmly.

Zack faced her and nodded. "You sure are. But, you've been through so much. I guess it would be easy to forget things that happened so long ago."

"I never forgot you," Lydia said quietly.

There was a silence. "Really? You're not just saying that?" Zack said eventually, surprise written on his face.

"No. How could I forget what we used to have." Lydia's gaze softened as memories came back to her. Times long forgotten. Or had she pushed them deliberately into forgetfulness?

"You think we still don't have that?"

"It's different now, Zack."

He frowned. "How? We're together. Just like we used to be."

Lydia's features crinkled with intense thought. "Things were so much more innocent when we were younger. We were different people then. I have so many things I need to consider now."

"Really? You believe you're different?"

"We've both changed, Zack."

Zack sighed. "If we have, I hope I've changed for the better."

"You have. I can tell you that," she said nodding emphatically.

"Better or worse?" he asked with a quirk of his brow.

Lydia smiled. "Better."

Zack nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer. For the moment. "Do you remember how we used to ride down to the river? How we'd laze away those long summer days?"

Lydia glanced over toward where she knew the river lay, far down in the valley, beyond the forest. "I sure do. How could I forget my father's reaction after he found out we'd gone fishing together?"

"I seem to recall you were the only one who caught anything that day."

"Really? I don't remember. I remember other things about that day," she admitted with a soft sigh.

"Like what?" he asked.

Lydia smiled. "Like how nice you were to me. How much of a gentleman you were. That's what made me so mad at my father. The things he accused you of. You were the perfect gentleman. I guess you still are."

"Now you're just trying to embarrass me. And you're succeeding. You're being far too nice to me."

"It's the least I can do. After what you've done for me and the children."

Zack fixed her with a firm, direct look. "I gave you my word, Lydia. Without my word, I'm nothing."

"I know that, Zack." She paused. "I know it now."

"The real reason I gave you that promise in the first place? You know why I did that?"

Lydia's brows narrowed. She saw a familiar look in his eyes. One that she'd seen on more than one occasion. It was even a look that she recalled seeing a very long time ago. She suddenly knew what he was about to tell her. "I know why," she said simply.

Zack took a deep breath and paused. When he spoke it was with a quite, determined tone of voice. "It's because of the way I felt about you then. I kept that promise because I still feel that way about you, Lydia."

"I could hardly have missed the way you've been looking at me these past few days, could I?" she said.

Zack turned and looked further down the trail. "I can see I've upset you."

"No. Not at all. On the contrary. I wanted us to talk. That's why I agreed to come out here with you. Leave the children to Mrs. Brodie."

Zack cleared his throat. "I just feel that you're pulling away from me, Lydia. Every time I try and talk to you about how I feel. Every time I try to get close to you. I just feel you pulling away. And I can understand why." He frowned and paused. "At least I think I do," he concluded.

"I tried to explain," she said. "Maybe I didn't do a very good job."

"No. I understand." He paused. "It's about Daniel, isn't it?"

"He was my children's father."

"Our children now, Lydia."

"That's right, Zack. They're our children now. Even if it's going to take a while for them all to come round to the idea. But they're children. They'll find a way."