“I didn’t hear you get up,” she said in a flat voice.
“I didn’t make much noise. I couldn’t sleep.”
She watched me as I picked up my clothes. I knew it wasn’t far off now. I could feel it. We were sparring for an opening.
“You stay where you are,” I went on. “It’s early yet. I’ll make some coffee.”
“Don’t be long. It’s time we had a talk, isn’t it?” She sounded as polite as a collector of alms, and as sincere.
There it was. I didn’t let her know I had come to the same conclusion.
“I’ll be back.”
While the water boiled I dressed, and took my time over a shave. My hand was unsteady; I was lucky not to cut myself. When I made the coffee, I poured two fingers of Scotch into a glass and drank it. I might have been drinking fruit salts.
She had combed her hair and put on a silk wrap and was curled up in the bunk by the time I returned. She didn’t look well: too fine-drawn and her colour was bad. There was a brooding expression in her eyes I didn’t like.
“The rain’s stopped,” I told her. “It’s going to be fine.” A brilliant remark considering the sun was shining through the open window, but I had to say something.
She took the mug of coffee and was careful not to look at me.
“Please sit down.”
It didn’t seem possible that a couple of days ago we had been lovers. Voices are funny things; they can tell you more than an expression on a face if you listen: And I was listening very attentively. There was no point in kidding myself any longer. This was it.
I sat away from her. The gap between us was about as great as the gap between our minds.
“Do you remember what you said when we were talking about Max?” she asked abruptly.
“I said a lot of things.”
“About making a difference.”
I sipped my coffee and frowned at the floor. So that was how she was going to handle it.
“I guess so. I made quite a speech. I said: “Suppose I kill him. You and I will know, even if no one else does. We have to live with each other, and knowing I killed him will make a difference. We might not think so at first, but it will.” That’s what I said.”
“So you’ve been thinking about it, too?”
“That’s right.”
“It has made a difference, hasn’t it?”
“I said it would. All right — it has.”
There was a pause. I could feel her uneasiness as I could feel the cold draught from the open window.
I had a dream last night. I dreamed I killed you.” No regret; just a statement of fact.
“Well, you didn’t,” I said, but I couldn’t look at her.
There was another pause.
“It’s time we left here,” she went on. “There doesn’t seem much point in us keeping together any longer — not now, I mean. It would be easier and safer for you to get away if you were alone.”
Well, it was nice of her to think of my safety, but I hadn’t expected this. If it was to happen I should be the one to break it up. I was getting tired of being brushed off by my women. It was getting to be too much of a habit.
“If that’s how you feel.” I finished my coffee and lit a cigarette. My hands were still unsteady.
“Don’t let’s pretend. It’s the way we both feel. You don’t seem to realize the sense you talked when you said it would make a difference.”
“I have prizes for talking sense. One day someone’s going to collect my bright remarks and put them in a book.”
“I guess I’ll get dressed.”
That was her way of saying there wasn’t anything more to discuss. There wasn’t.
“Right,” I said and went out of the room.
Standing before the fire, watching the flames without actually seeing them, I wondered what it would be like without her. This was a stage I usually reached with a woman, only I had thought it would be different with Veda. I didn’t expect it would come to this. I knew it would happen sooner or later with the blonde who had given me money, and the red-head who had dug her nails into my shoulders and the rest of them, but somehow – not Veda. I knew I was going to miss her. She had a place in my life and there’d be a gap when she had gone.
After a while she came in, carrying her bags. She was wearing her canary-coloured slacks and sweater in which I had first seen her. It seemed a long time ago. In spite of the drawn look and her colour, she was still lovely to look at.
“Where are you going?” I asked. “There’s no point in rushing into trouble. They’re still looking for us.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Yes, I do. I’m going after Gorman. Until I’ve proved he killed Brett, I’m still in a jam. If the police pick you up, you might talk. That’s how it is.”
“They won’t pick me up. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“I’m sorry. Until I’ve fixed Gorman you must be somewhere where they can’t find you. You’re going to Mick’s place.”
“No.”
“That’s where you’re going, Veda.”
“I said no.”
We stared at each other. The spark we had guarded against so carefully was now in the powder.
“When I’ve fixed Gorman you’ll be as free as the air. That’s the way it’s going to be Veda, and you’d better make up your mind to it.”
“You want to murder me as well, don’t you?” Her voice was shrill.
That was something I hadn’t expected. She was full of surprises this morning.
“What are you talking about?”
“You want to murder me as you murdered Brett and Max.”
“Don’t start that again . . .”
The table was between us, otherwise I would have beaten her to the jump, but she got the .25 first. It was still on the mantel, and I’d forgotten about it. She snatched it up, whirled around and pointed it at me as I threw the table out of my way. The look on her face brought me to an abrupt stop. I was looking at a stranger: fierce, hard and dangerous.
“That’s how you planned it, isn’t it?” she cried. “First Brett, then Max, now me! You fooled me all right. I believed all that stuff about Gorman killing Brett until you killed Max. You cold-blooded brute! No one but a killer could have done what you did. He was defenceless; his hands were tied and he was asleep. How could you?” her voice shot up. “How could I ever trust you again? I’m in your way now, aren’t I? I know too much! Your precious friend, Casy, would keep me until you were ready to kill me. But not this time.”
“You’re crazy! I didn’t kill Brett!”
“Go on – say it! Tell me you didn’t kill Max either.” Her jeering little laugh set me raging. Then I let her have it.
“That’s right – I didn’t kill him. It was you! You – in your sleep. How do you like that? You – walking in your sleep – did it! I saw you!”
Contempt and loathing showed in her eyes.
“And to think I loved you! Boyd said you were a cheap crook, and you are. You’re worse than that – you’re despicable.”
“All right, I’m despicable.” I was shouting at her now. “But that’s how it happened! I wasn’t going to tell you, but you’ve asked for it! You went out there—”
“Do you think I believe it?” she screamed at me. “Do you think anyone would believe it? Only a dirty warped mind like yours could have thought up such an idea. You don’t frighten me! I’m through with you! Do you hear? I’m through with you!”
I stared at her, and suddenly my rage went from me. She was right. No one would believe a yarn like that. I shouldn’t have told her. I should have tried to have held on to what little respect and feeling she had had for me. It was too late now.
“Okay, forget it. Forget everything. You’ll need money. We’ll split what I got from Boyd. If you think you can look after yourself, go ahead and look after yourself.”
“I wouldn’t touch a nickel of yours. I despise you. Sit over there. If you make one suspicious move you’ll get it.”
“All right, if that’s how you feel. Do you think I give a damn?”
“Sit over there and keep quiet.”
I sat over there and kept quiet. Nothing seemed to matter at the moment. If the cops had walked in I’d have welcomed them.
She picked up the two bags in one hand. The .25 still covered me.
“I’m taking the car as far as the dirt road. If you want it, you’ll find it there.”
“Take it to hell and go with it!” I said, and turned my back on her.
The door slammed. I just sat there, feeling like hell. After a few minutes I heard the car start up. I ran to the door and looked out. The Buick was bumping over the grass towards the distant cart track. I could see her at the wheel. Her head was held high and there was a defiant tilt to her chin.
“Veda!”
She didn’t look back. I don’t know if she heard me, but I didn’t call again. The Buick gathered speed. I watched it for a long time until it was a tiny moving speck against the slope of the hills. When it disappeared I returned to the shack.
It was still early, not yet seven o’clock, and there was no heat in the sun. I felt cold. My first move was to the whisky bottle. As I picked it up I remembered it had been like this with every woman I’d known. As soon as they had walked out on me, I’d fly to the bottle. Well, it wasn’t going to be like that this time. I was through with making a dope of myself over a woman. I balanced the bottle in my hand. The label called it an aristocratic liquor, and it was, but that didn’t stop me. I threw the bottle across the room. It smashed against the wall and whisky sprayed over the floor and glass flew around like shrapnel.
I told myself I was going to cut Veda out of my life; and I meant it. I had a job to do. I was going after Gorman. I had money and a lot of rude health. I was tired of being chased by the cops. I was going after Gorman and I’d get him, providing the cops didn’t get Veda first. If they caught her, she’d talk. She wouldn’t bother to shield me now. I was sure of that. There was no time to waste.
I went into the inner room, packed my bag and had a last look round. There was plenty of evidence that we’d stayed here, but I had no time to cover our tracks. If anyone found the shack they’d know right off that it had been used as a hide-out, and it wouldn’t take long to guess who’d used it. Well, no one had found it up to now; maybe no one would find it when I’d gone.
There was nothing belonging to Veda, except the faint smell of her perfume. I was sentimental enough to look carefully in the hope of finding a memento, but I didn’t.
She had said she’d leave the Buick near the dirt road. The sooner I got down there the better. I’d have to risk driving the car to Mick’s place. There was nothing else for it. With a little luck, and knowing how dumb the Santa Medina cops were, I’d get through without being spotted.
And that’s how it worked out. I found the car a quarter of a mile from the dirt road, out of sight behind some trees. As I got in, I smelt her perfume. It gave me an odd, lonely feeling, but I nudged it out of my mind. She had left the ignition key in the glove compartment. I always thought she had a tidy mind. Driving along the Altadena road I caught myself staring at every woman I passed; none of them was Veda.
At Altadena I went into a drug store and put through a call to Mick. No one looked at me. No one started running. When Mick came on the line he sounded as if he’d just woken up. I told him I was coming in, that I didn’t think anyone would recognize me, and I was calling myself Frank Dexter.
“Can you get Lu to meet me with a car at the second crossroads? It’ll be safer if he handled the Buick.”
Mick said he’d fix it.
“I’ll be waiting for you Got the frail with you?”
“I’m on my own.”
He grunted and hung up. He was never a guy to ask questions: action first and talk after. It was a good policy.
Lu was sitting in the Cadillac when I arrived at the crossroads. He waved and smiled and seemed glad to see me.
“Still tired of life?” he asked, as he got into the Buick. “I thought you were in sunny Mexico by now. Where’s the blue-eyed babe? Don’t tell me you ditched her?”
“We parted,” I said shortly. “You’d better get going. This car’s hot.”
I drove the Cadillac into Santa Medina and the first person I saw was O’Readen. He was climbing the steps to Police Headquarters. He looked old and stooped and wasn’t smiling. He didn’t see me. It was odd running into him like that, but I didn’t bat an eyelid. I had taken a good look at myself in the mirror before leaving the shack. If I couldn’t recognize myself, how could he?
“I’m looking for Casy,” I said to the guard on the door when I arrived at Mick’s place. “The name’s Dexter.”
“Go right in. He’s waiting for you.”
Mick wasn’t taking any chances. The guard was new. I hadn’t seen him before, and he took no interest in me.
It was too early for anyone to be around. A couple of cleaners were in the bar, but after a casual glance at me, they went on with their work. I pushed open Mick’s door, glanced in. Mick was pacing up and down, his hands in his pockets, a dead cigar clamped between his teeth. He looked up, scowled at me.
“Beat it. Who told you to come in?”
“You did,” I said, and closed the door behind me.
He came over and grabbed my hand.
“That damned moustache! You look like a dago. Dammit, I’m glad to see you. Sit down. What the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you in Mexico?”
“I’m back to find Brett’s killer. I think I know who he is. Look, Mick, I was crazy to run away. My place is here. I’m going to find Brett’s killer and I’m going to collect the reward.”
“You’re crazy! Redfern’s still looking for you. O’Readen has given up, but not Redfern. San Luis Beach is as hot as a stove. If you stick your nose in there you’ll get burned.”
“Give me a hand with this, Mick, and we’ll split the reward. It’s worth thirty grand. What do you say?”
“I’ll help you for nothing. I have all the money I can use.”
“No one has. You’ll do it for fifteen grand or I’ll count you out.”
“We haven’t got it yet. What do you want me to do?”
“I figure it’s Gorman. He knew I was going out to Brett’s place. I want to find out where he was when Brett was shot. If he hasn’t a cast-iron alibi — and he won’t have — I’ll call on him and beat the truth out of him.”
“Watch out. From what I hear that boy’s tough.”
“I’ll take care of him.”
“Well, all right.” He paced up and down. “I’ll turn Lu on to it. Okay?”