You Don't Know Me: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (45 page)

Lily

I
left my keys to Jake’s house in his suitcase before I left the Hard Rock Hotel, which means I won’t be able to let myself into his house if he is not in. Fortunately, standing across the road from the house I see that his car is parked close by but in a different place from when we left for Vegas. So I know not only that he is back, but also that he is in. I do not know what kind of reception I am going to get, but I know he won’t turn me away.

His body won’t let him.

Maybe that is why I have not called first. Calling would mean our bodies don’t get to talk. I cross the road. At the bottom of the steps I stop, courage suddenly deserting me. It is startling just how nervous I am. My organs feel like they are floating inside a hollow space. I take a deep breath. I think I am afraid of what he will be like without the alcohol.

Come on, Lily, just a few steps more. You’ve come this far. It’s not like you ran out on him or anything like that. You left a note. You just needed a bit of time to think.

I look up at the sky. It is a hazy white.

I want to take those last few steps and ring the bell. I want to see him again, but I am terrified I will see a stranger with cold, mean eyes. I debate the matter. What’s the worst that can happen? He slams the door in my face. A small voice speaks,
I’m not prepared for that. I can’t go back to what I was when I lost Luke.
This is a bad idea. Maybe I should leave and then call first. Prepare him. My body starts turning to walk away when in my peripheral vision the curtain twitches. Oh God in heaven! He has seen me.

It galvanizes me. I don’t want him thinking I’m a coward. I run lightly up the stairs and ring the bell.

The door opens almost instantly and my voice dies in my throat. My eyes widen with shock and I feel my soul shrivel. This I had not prepared for.

‘Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,’ Andrea Mornington drawls as her eyes travel down my body derisively, while she stands in Jake’s fucking shirt! The buttons have not even been done up. She has just thrown it over her naked body and is clutching the edges together. Underneath the shirt her legs are long and bare and her toenails are painted a pretty peach.

Fuck him.

He went back to her!

Just like that.

The sensation of shock is so immense that I feel physically ill. I want to vomit. I am jealous, horribly jealous of her standing in my man’s shirt. At that moment I don’t think of what I have done to him or how I have betrayed him. I just feel betrayed. Utterly and completely. I really believed we had something rare and special. A kind of deep connection that I have not had with another human being.

Her eyes note my suffering with great satisfaction. There is not an ounce of pity in them. I see her clearly then. She has never in her life sung the song of pain, or had the branches torn from her tree. She is one of those lucky women. Bestowed with everything.

I open my mouth and no words come out!

‘It’s always a good idea to call first,’ she advises insolently.

It is not rage I feel but pain. Such pain that I don’t want to punch her, or scratch her eyes out. I just want to run away somewhere no one will see me and howl in pain.

Some part of me refuses to believe what I am seeing. What if she is tricking me? What if he is not in? I force the words out.

‘Is he in?’

‘Obviously,’ she says, with an amused smirk.

I won’t scratch your smug, spoilt face, but I’ll leave you with this
: ‘Tell him… Tell him his wife was here.’

Without waiting to see her reaction I whirl away from her, and lurch toward the steps. But my legs are so unsteady that I miss the first step and, with arms flailing and an involuntary cry starting at the back of my throat, I begin flying face first toward the hard, concrete pavement below.

Oh shit! Now she will witness my utter humiliation, too.

My descent is stopped suddenly by an iron hand. Wet and strong, it curls itself around my forearm and jerks me backwards. The force is so great I slam into a hard wall of solid muscles running with water droplets. The clean smell of soap and shampoo envelops me.

In a daze I feel myself being pulled through the entrance past an open-mouthed Andrea. I turn my shocked face to the owner of the hand. His hair is plastered to his head and rivulets of water are still running down his face and neck. My stunned brain makes a mental note: he was in the shower. His only covering is a small, white towel slung around his delectable hips. He must have just pulled the first thing that came to his hand, and run down the stairs when he heard the doorbell.

Did he know it was me ringing?

He propels me into the living room, and keeping a firm hold of my hand turns to glare at Andrea. She has followed us in and is standing at the door watching. An odd, unfathomable expression crosses his face. He shakes his head slightly to himself, part irritation, part exasperation.

‘Get back into your own clothes and leave, Andrea,’ he says tightly.

‘What about lunch?’ she asks sulkily.

‘What about lunch?’ It is obvious that he is finding it difficult to keep his temper in check.

‘You promised to take me.’

‘And I will,
another time
… If you get out of here right now.’

Huffily, but with impressive flamboyance, she flings his shirt to the floor and in her underwear stalks to a sofa where her clothes are. The bitch! She had wanted me to think she was naked underneath Jake’s shirt. That I had interrupted them at an intimate moment. Jake turns his gaze back to me. I have so many questions eating at me, but I am too frozen to say anything. My mouth is still hanging open.

I clamp it shut—I can wait until she is gone before I go ape shit.

She shoots daggers at me before bestowing a fake, happy smile on Jake. ‘See you later, then,’ she calls and flounces out of the room.

We hear the door close and Jake says in a weary voice, ‘Don’t make me come there and put you out, Andrea.’

There is a muffled sound of outrage and then the door slams hard.

‘How did you know she hadn’t gone?’

‘When things don’t go Andrea’s way she tends to slam doors.’

My mind is a seething mess of emotions. How dare he? How dare he act so cool?

‘What was she doing here?’

‘When she came I was training. I went to take a shower. She was supposed to wait…in her own clothes.’

I still don’t like it. She obviously feels she has some sort of hold on him. And what is that thing about taking her out to lunch? But I can’t act all jealous. Now is not the time. We have other far more important things to talk about.

I gaze at him, and suddenly I am aware that he is standing in an inadequately small towel. And he is staring at my mouth. Heat is coming off him in waves. My gaze leaves his smoldering eyes and skitters down to his throat.

‘I’m glad you came,’ he murmurs.

‘Why?’ The sound is strangled. His nearness is doing things to me. We have been apart for so little time and yet, it feels as if it has been ages since I have had him inside me.

‘Because it’s saved me the trouble of going down to Vauxhall to fetch your ass back here.’

My eyes rush up to his. ‘You know where I live?’

‘There are two things wrong with you, princess. You’re too naïve for your own good, and you’re always wearing too many fucking clothes.’ His voice is low and husky and he watches me like a hungry beast.

I flush and feel wetness pool between my legs. The air around us is thick with all kinds of emotion.

‘Um, yeah, we really need to talk, Jake.’

‘Everything in good time, but first…’ In an admirably smooth movement he unbuttons, unzips and pulls my jeans down my legs. ‘I’ve got to have you.’ Sitting on his haunches, his mouth is so close to my sex I feel his breath as warm puffs of air through my panties. I take a shaky breath. Mother of God, this man is something else. I rest my palms on the thick knots of strong muscles on his shoulders as he slides my panties down to the floor. I step out of them.

‘We really should talk first,’ I whisper without any conviction.

‘Aren’t you even a little bit keen to have my cock inside you?’

‘Not really,’ I gasp.

‘You’re dripping, babe.’

‘You’re an asshole, Jake.’

He grins, his eyes flashing. 

My breasts feel heavy, my nipples hard and hungry.
Should I be doing this?
my mind tries to reason fleetingly, but it is gone when he sticks a thick finger inside me. ‘Oh,’ I cry.

‘Oh, indeed,’ he says and standing up, walks me backwards until I am pushed up against a wall. He whips that ridiculously inadequate towel off his bronzed body and throws it to the ground. I have only a flash of him in all his erect glory before my right thigh is grabbed and hoisted up. I wrap it around his hard waist. This is where I belong. I am back where I belong. He drags his fingers along my crack, already slick with juices.

‘I can’t wait to feel your sweet pussy around my cock,’ he says softly, as his thumb massages my clit knowing that the light caresses will drive me insane.

‘Fucking give it to her then,’ I snarl.

He laughs softly and forces his shaft up into me.

‘Oh God!’ I whimper, staring up at him. Jesus, how I’ve missed having this thick pillar of meat buried deep inside me. The fullness of him is perfect. Absolutely perfect.

His eyes blaze into mine.

Utterly drunk on the look in his eyes, I groan. Possibly because I have come to accept that I love him and will do everything in my power to keep him, it is more satisfying than at any other time.

He rams into me relentlessly, until my supporting leg begins to twitch with tension. I fear my leg is about to give way under me.

‘I can’t take it anymore,’ I gasp, my sex clenching like crazy.

‘Yes, you can,’ he says. ‘Remember I
own
your pussy. She starts when I start and she stops when I stop.’ He swats my ass hard, the sound is loud and meaty, and pounds me even harder. Pain blurs into pleasure. My leg buckles and I wind both legs around his thighs and my hands around his neck and hang there, trembling. His hands come around to grip my bare buttocks and hold me in place.

‘Jaaaake… I’m coming,’ I warn.

‘No,’ he snarls. ‘You come when I tell you to fucking come.’

‘I can’t wait,’ I moan desperately.

‘Yes, you can,’ he bites out and pushes his tongue into my mouth. I suck on it greedily. I can feel the rush beginning to take hold of my muscles, and I strain to hold it back. My pulse pounds in my ears and between my legs so hard that my body starts vibrating with the intense effort of holding back the oncoming climax.

‘Let me come,’ I cry harshly.

‘Come,’ he commands, and I plunge, trembling, twisting, jerking, into a void that is more vast and fantastic than the night sky while my hands grip him hard and close to my body through the splendor of his own orgasm.

Lily

B
reathing heavily and with his eyes closed, he leans his forehead against mine. I feel his wet hair tickling my skin and his cock still spurting his seed inside me. Suddenly, he opens his lids and I am staring into the star-burst of his eyes. This close, they are beautiful gems that have the ability to see right into my soul. I feel naked. All my secrets laid bare.
Do you know about Luke, Jake? Do you know why I was willing to betray you?

He raises his head, gently pulls out of me, and unhooks my legs from his thighs and sets me back on my own two feet. Very shakily I lean against the wall and look up at him.

‘Are you purposely being succulent?’ he teases.

I shake my head. I can’t say anything. My throat has closed over. He leans forward and bites my mouth. I reach down and rub his glistening cock. He starts kissing me, no, not kissing, devouring me. It is rough and it is possessive. I rewrap my hands around his neck and the empty ache between my legs starts again. I want him back inside me. And I know exactly how to do it. I pull away from his mouth and drop to my knees.

With him I am a dirty girl. Nothing is taboo. All is allowed.

He rests his palms on the wall at shoulder level and throws his head back as I hold his semi-hard shaft by the base and swirl the tip of my tongue around the crown. Languorously, I lap up the shaft as if I am licking ice cream melting down a cone on a summer’s day. Then I suck it voraciously, as if it is a massive, muscular tongue. I swallow it halfway… Then I take it so deep into my throat, a growl smolders in his throat. The sound is so damn hot, it’s sinful. It shivers onto my skin, scattering goose bumps wherever it touches. God knows how long I suck him because my lips have become numb, but I do get him rock hard.

I slide him out of my mouth and look up at him, my lips parted.

He looks down at me with naked hunger. Mother of God! His eyes are almost lime! I want him. No, I need him. I stare back, my eyes speaking a language of their own. Cock. Dick. Hard. Delicious. Ready. You. Get inside me.

‘Fuck my mouth,’ I whisper, but it comes out harsh and throaty. I fit him back, hard and thick, between my lips. A hand slides into my hair. Clenches. Tugs. But this is not me submitting. This is me at full power. This is me entirely in control. Me deciding. Me being greedy. Because I already know exactly what he is going to do. 

He is Mr. Generous. I
never
come away with nothing.

He begins to thrust. Softly first then harder and harder—enough to see me gag and choke. Then he comes out of me, and grabbing me by the waist, picks me up as if I weigh no more than a feather. He puts me face down over the armrest of the sofa. Shivering with anticipation, my ass in the air, I twist back to watch.

He opens my legs wide and looks at my bare ass and my sex, open and smeared with sex juices. Glossy, swollen, needy. For a second his eyes rise up to mine. What is in his eyes is pure, unadulterated possession. I get it immediately. My sex belongs to him. And only him. Woe betide any man who comes between him and me.

With a wild cry, he grabs my hips and plunges into me. He is branding me. With an answering cry, I push back into him. It is crude, it is primitive. It is what we both are. His skin slaps against mine as he fucks me so hard I feel the leather of the sofa chafe against my thighs.

With the solid heat of his body pressed against me I feel strangely safe. As if the outside world with all its problems and demands does not exist.

‘With you the burn never dissipates, even slightly,’ I whisper.

‘I’m glad,’ he mutters. ‘Because I wish I could tie you to my bed with your legs wide open so I could come and bury my tongue or my cock inside you any time I please.’

Considering how hard and intensely passionate we have been, it surprises me when I feel my cheeks burn.

He strokes me with the back of his finger. ‘What a strange little thing you are. Big-eyed innocence and—’

The word innocence pulls me out of my languor. And suddenly the air between us changes. I start to wriggle under him. He rises and pulls out of me. My sprawled position feels awkward and embarrassing. His seed is leaking out of me. I try to right myself, but he puts a restraining hand on the small of my back.

‘Don’t hide from me, Lil. Just relax,’ he says. There is husky control in his voice, and I cease all movement. He picks up the towel he discarded earlier and kneeling at the apex of my spread thighs tenderly wipes my swollen sex. After the rough fucking his touch is so gentle I am surprised.

‘I love your pussy. It is so beautiful,’ he murmurs and plants a kiss right on my core, making my stomach clench.

Then he opens my flesh wide and whispers something into my sex. Hazily, I hear my name, but I cannot make the rest of the sentence out.

He cannot not have feelings for me. It is impossible. He must care some. Nan is right. He cares. He must. I can’t even imagine the alternative. He pushes his tongue into me and gently licks me. As if he were a cat or dog cleaning its baby.

‘More,’ I whisper feverishly. ‘Fill me up, Jake. I am so empty without you.’

He pushes a thick finger into me. ‘You’re not empty, Lil. I’m here.’

He plays with me, never-ending circles, until I feel my back arching. ‘I think I’m coming. Can I come?’

‘Yes.’

The sensation is so intense, so wild, I try to pull away, but he tightens his hold and makes me submit. I climax with my slick clit inside his hot mouth.

He stands, closes my legs into some semblance of respectability and pulls me up. Our eyes meet. God! This man is so beautiful.

‘You look like you could do with a drink,’ he says, tying the towel around his hips.

I find my jeans and pull them on. He walks to the bar, pours us a glass of whiskey each. He passes me a glass and our fingers touch. A spark goes through me. I withdraw my hand, spilling whiskey. His eyes are dark, but I can tell by the set of his mouth that the sex is over. It is time to talk.

I pour the whiskey into my throat. It burns all the way down.

He raises his eyebrows, but says nothing. I notice that he doesn’t drink, but puts his glass down on the counter. He swivels his head.

‘You wanted to talk?’

‘Yeah.’

Suddenly I am nervous. What if it is only sex with him? What if Nan is wrong? I swallow hard. I open my mouth and his phone rings. He frowns. I have noticed that his phone almost never rings. The last time it rang it had been Dom telling him about the fire.

‘Can you wait one moment?’

I nod.

He moves toward it. Looks at the screen and immediately presses the answer button.

‘Yeah,’ he says and his voice is worried.

I can hear a woman’s voice. It sounds panicked and hysterical.

‘Calm down. Calm down,’ he says.

The voice becomes slightly subdued.

‘Yes, it’s true,’ he admits.

And the voice screams so loud he stares at the phone in disbelief. Then he looks at me and silently mouths, ‘It’s my mother.’

I nod solemnly. A family problem of some kind, obviously.

‘Look, Ma. I’ll come around tonight. Just please calm down. I’ll explain everything when I get there, OK?’

Even from where I am I can hear her ranting, not in the least comforted. At one point Jake has to hold the phone away from his ear.

‘What the hell are you on about? I’m perfectly fine.’ He runs his hand through his hair distractedly.

‘All right, I’ll be there in less than an hour,’ he concedes.

I hear another explosion of sound.

‘OK, OK, I’ll leave now. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.’

I hear quiet sobbing.

‘Ma, stop it. Ma?’

I hear another hysterical outpouring.

He sighs with frustration. ‘I’ll come right now, OK? Just wait for me.’

He terminates the call and looks at me. ‘She’s a
bit
distraught.’

‘What happened?’

‘Apparently, Andrea called and told her I married you.’ He raises an eyebrow. ‘Any idea how Andrea knew?’

‘Oops, sorry,’ I say, biting my bottom lip.

He grins at me. ‘It’s not like I wasn’t going to tell her anyway, but it does mean I have to go see her now. Will you wait for me here? We’ll talk when I come back.’

I nod. 

‘Come upstairs and keep me company while I dress.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah.’

And I thought it was going to be difficult and awkward. It is not. I smile. God! I’m so in love with this man. ‘OK.’

I watch him pull on a pair of black jeans in silence, just drinking in the sight of him. He pulls a black T-shirt over his taut muscles.

‘Why does your mother hate me?’

He looks at me seriously and doesn’t try to gloss over the issue. ‘I don’t know. But I know she doesn’t know you the way I do and when she does she’ll absolutely love you…’ For a moment it seems as if the sentence is not complete, then he smiles and goes to the door. I follow him.

At the door he turns and kisses me.

‘You smell of sex and me,’ he whispers in my ear.

I rear back. ‘I’ll have a shower before you get back.’

‘Don’t you dare. I love it.’ A smile tilts his mouth and warmth kindles in my belly. He goes down the steps, turns back and starts walking backwards mouthing, ‘Be back soon. Don’t go anywhere.’

He blows a kiss and I shyly return it. Maybe, it’s going to be all right.

I watch him get into his car and drive off. Then I close the door and lean against it. The house is large and deathly quiet around me. I shut my eyes and hold to the fierce joy that burns in my chest. I think of the way his gaze had followed my tongue as it licked my lower lip. I remember the heat and I recall the tenderness between us, almost surreal. And I cover my mouth to hide the smile of pure happiness.

And what do the gods do?

They make my phone ring. I look at it and for a few rings I do nothing. Just stare at the number. I knew I shouldn’t have called Robin. Then I press Answer and put it to my ear.

A woman says cheerily, ‘Hey, Lily. It’s Amber.’

‘Hey, Amber,’ I say automatically. Amber is the way that Robin makes contact with me.

‘How are you?’

‘Fine.’ I clear my throat. ‘I’m fine.’

‘We should meet. Go out for coffee or something.’

‘OK. Where do you want to go?’

‘How about Starbucks? You like the green tea thingamajig there, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I love it. Let’s meet there. When?’

‘How about now?’

‘Now?’

‘Yes, I have so much to tell you.’

‘Right. I’ll be there in the next twenty minutes.’

‘Oh, good. Can’t wait to see you again.’

‘Same here,’ I reply.

‘Bye,’ she says in a high, bright voice.

‘Bye,’ I say in a low, sad voice.

You take your aim. You fire. And shoot me down. Fuck you, Fate.

My legs feel like lead. I go into Jake’s office. I have only been here once. I know the drawers are all locked and the desk is always stunningly bare. I take a piece of paper from the printer.

I take the quill from the ink stand. Just like him to have a fucking quill instead of a ballpoint pen. I feel the tears pricking at my eyes. No, I will not cry. There is a way out. I know it. I am unlucky but he is lucky and he will get what he wants. And he wants me. I know that. Well, I think I know that. Maybe he doesn’t love me. But he wants me. I can tell. With every action he shows me. And Jake always gets what he wants.

I write my note. It is short and to the point.

Jake,

I have to go out for a bit. I’ll see you when I get back, OK?  x

Should I add another kiss? One seems so informal. A jeering voice says,
WTF!
So I add three more kisses.

And then I leave my sanctuary.