Yes Man (44 page)

The crew had finished packing up and were grabbing some food before the long trip home. Ricky was chewing on some celery, and Robin was trying to find the toilets.

Samten and I walked around the grounds of the castle and talked more about Yes. It was still sunny and, save for the odd monk cycling to or from the town, we were alone.

“What I think is interesting,” said Samten, “is this idea about giving up control. Letting what you call your Yes moments lead the way. Because actually we don’t even have control in the first place. It’s a myth. In life absolutely
anything
can happen.”

“Like you hurting your thumb.”

“Exactly. I didn’t know that was going to happen.”

“No. Neither did I.”

I probably didn’t need to say that.

“But I
did
hurt my thumb, and I had to accept it and adapt. If we have faith
that some higher powers—some enlightened beings—are helping us to develop spiritually, then you begin to relate to life completely differently. And I suppose life starts to become a little more magical. Every opportunity must be seen as a chance to learn. We have to be open to whatever happens, good or bad. Because anything that happens is a chance to increase our wisdom and to walk farther down the path to enlightenment. So, if you miss the bus, that’s an opportunity to learn. If you become ill, that’s an opportunity to learn something new, like compassion, maybe.”

“What did you learn from hurting your thumb?”

“Not to trip down the stairs.”

I laughed.

“But in reality … hurting my thumb limited what I could physically do, and so it gave me plenty of time for meditation. It presented me with a valuable opportunity.”

“Nice spin.”

“Thank you.”

“You should hurt your thumb more often.”

“I don’t think that would help.”

We found a bench and took a seat.

“I suppose it’s like you discovering you didn’t like maths,” I said, “and ending up doing pottery instead. It may have meant you couldn’t go to university, but that was for the best, wasn’t it? It meant you could do something you really cared about.”

“Exactly.”

“And I imagine you can also make your own mugs now, too.”

“Well … I wasn’t much good at pottery, either.”

“Oh.”

A breeze picked up. We both took a moment to listen to it.

“So, tell me about some of the things that have happened to you, then. As a result of saying yes.”

I thought about what to tell him. And then it seemed obvious. Something bad that had happened, which was also something
good
.

“There was this scratch card, right? And I never normally play scratch cards. But the card told me I should, and so I did. And I won twenty-five thousand pounds.”

“Wow,” said Samten.

“But then I lost it again.”

“Ah,” said Samten.

“But the thing is, that just proved to me that what I was doing was right. It didn’t matter that I’d lost the money. The important thing was that I’d won it in the first place. I didn’t have twenty-five thousand pounds when I found the card, and I didn’t have twenty-five thousand pounds when I’d finished with it. I hadn’t actually lost anything. But I
did
feel like I’d
gained
something.”

Samten thought about it. “Nice spin,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“You should lose large sums of money more often.”

“I don’t think that would help.”

I waited for Samten to say something else. I was keen to hear what his reaction to my scratch card tale would be. But he was far away, lost in thought. When he finally did speak, it was to say a sentence that, under any other circumstance, would probably have lead to a brief scuffle and a broken nose.

“You’re a peacock.”

Huh?

“I’m a what?”

“You’re a peacock. You see, if you’re open to a situation, you can transform it. You can be like a peacock. Apparently they can thrive on poisonous berries, when other animals would get sick. If you have the mentality where you can’t open up to things, you can get into situations where you feel down or depressed. If you have this ability of openness, you can actually thrive on difficult situations.”

“Like hurting your thumb?”

“Or losing that money. What have you learnt so far? As a result of saying yes?”

“Well … lots, really. Men can have babies. Aliens built the pyramids. No man should walk a cat. And that I’m a peacock.”

Samten looked a little uncertain about the valuable lessons I’d learnt along the way. And to be fair, I could see what he meant. If this were an episode of
Quantum Leap
or
Highway to Heaven
, you’d be a little upset if those were the only morals to the story. The fact was I wasn’t
sure
what I’d learnt yet. Not exactly. Not quite yet.

“Well … whatever,” he said. “What I’m saying is, there’s so much we can learn from just accepting the way we are rather than being attached to the way we’d
like
to be.”

Samten was right. His words made sense. He was a wise man. While I’m not
a religious person, if I ever do decide to be, I think it might be alongside people like him. Plus I’d save a fortune on conditioner.

“Can I ask …,” said Samten as we headed back to the crew. “Did you find that more coincidences happened when you let go of a controlled life and opened up a bit more?”

“Well … I suppose so,” I said. “I mean, the very fact that everyone’s been talking to me about this Maitreya fella, and then thanks to Yes, I end up here, and you know all about him …”

“Yes, we should talk about Maitreya.”

We stopped walking, and I asked him my question.

“Samten, do you
really
think it’s possible that the man on the bus—the one I met that night—was Maitreya?”

“Your guess is as good as mine. But yes. It
is
possible.”

I was shocked. As of right now, it wasn’t just Brian telling me this was possible. Or his friend Pete. Or even Elias Brown. It was someone else, someone
new
. There were now four of them. That’s more or less a
group!

“The thing you must be asking yourself,” said Samten as we reached the front of the castle, “is what on Earth inspired that man to say that to you? What made him utter the words ‘say yes more’ to a man who needed to say yes more?”

I nodded, wide-eyed. I heard Ricky call my name. They were ready to go, now, and I waved to say I’d be there in a second. Samten continued.

“From a Buddhist point of view, we talk about inspiration coming from the enlightened source. Sometimes we can feel inspired to say something, and then think: Where did
that
come from? In reality it came through the inspiration of enlightened beings.”

“Enlightened beings like …”

“Maitreya, yes. Any enlightened being, like Maitreya, is constantly working for all human beings. He walks among us. He’s present in this world, working to help all human beings.”

“Like Superman?”

“Yes. Kind of. But he helps us, whether we know he’s there or not, just as the sun shines equally on all human beings. Now, a blind person won’t necessarily
see
the sunshine, but that doesn’t mean the sun doesn’t shine on them….”

Robin tooted the car horn.

“If that
was
Maitreya on the bus,” said Samten, “then, to be honest, he’s a bit early. He’s not supposed to turn up for another few thousand years…. But maybe
this is a sneak preview. It could have been him. And you may find as you progress down your own path to enlightenment, that you receive more help from enlightened beings. Or maybe more help from the people around you. People you wouldn’t expect it from. Listen to what they tell you. Sometimes inspiration comes from the strangest places. Even the ordinary can be magical. Be open to it.”

I said, “Okay.” And I meant it. I would.

“I think you’re going to be all right, Danny. You seem to be quite a free spirit in many ways. There is a lot to be said for childish innocence.”

I smiled warmly. And then I realised that, in effect, Samten was calling me a simpleton. I nearly said something, but then I remembered what he’d said about being quite a violent man, and I bit my tongue, just in case.

Sometime on the motorway home, we stopped the van and made our way into a faceless, peeling service station. Ricky wanted a milkshake, and Robin needed a pee. It was his third pee in as many hours. The man appeared to have the bladder of a moth.

I sat down at a table, and Ricky joined me moments later.

“So that was fun,” he said. “I’m quite into all that Buddhist stuff, now. Peace and joy, you know. Did you like it?”

“Yeah, definitely,” I said. “And thanks for your tip, by the way. I think the poking went down really well.”

“No problemo,” said Ricky, stirring his milkshake. “So, this was your first go at presenting? How did you get into it?”

“I just said yes. I met Gareth at a party, and we got to talking about this and that, and then there was a meeting, and they asked me if I wanted to have a go, and I just said yes again.”

“Simple as that.”

“Yup. I just said yes.”

Ricky smiled and muttered something under his breath.

“What was that?” I said, and he repeated it, louder.

“Si!”
he said.
“Si a todo!”

I blinked a couple of times. “Eh?”

“Si a todo
. It means … oh, what does it mean again? ‘Yes to everything.’ It’s Spanish.”

“It means ‘yes to everything’?”

“Yes.
Si.”

He sucked at his milkshake. It made a horrible noise.

“But where does ‘yes to everything’ come from? I mean, is it a phrase or something? Or a proverb?”

“I dunno. A couple of years ago, I was helping make this holiday show for BBC2. We were in Barcelona, and we met this guy, called Marc or Marco or something. And that was his motto. Yes to everything!
Si a todo!”

“Si a todo”
I said, again.

“Yeah. He was running this tapas bar or something, and he lives his whole life by that maxim.”

“He’s … a Si Man …,” I said.

Ricky looked confused.

“What, like … a sailor?”

“No, no. A Yes Man. He’s a bloody
Yes Man!”

I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was the only one. Out there, somewhere … there was someone just like me!

Ricky smiled and said, “Yeah, I s’pose so.”

“And is this bloke …
happy?”

“The happiest man I’ve ever met.”

I sat back and looked around me. The cleaners had started to wash the floors of the service station. A fat man was eating a burger. I glanced back at Ricky, who was scooping out the last of his milkshake with his fingers, and I shook my head. Sometimes inspiration comes from the strangest places. Sometimes even the ordinary can be magical.

“Have you ever been to Barcelona?” he said, licking his fingers.

“No,” I said. “Never.”

“You’d love it. It’s great this time of year.”

He stood up as Robin arrived back at the table.

“You should go there sometime,” Ricky added.

And I nodded.

Because yes, I should.

I was on the bus, and my phone was ringing
.

“Hello?”

“Danny? Hello … It’s Gareth from
Richard & Judy.”

“Hiya, Gareth!”

“Just thought I’d keep you updated on things.”

“Okay.”

“We had … well … an
unusual
reaction to your piece, after it went out on Monday …”

“Unusual?”

“Yes. We had … er … well … an
abnormal
number of complaints.”

“What? Really?”

“We think it might be because you spent a large portion of the main interview poking a monk.”

“Ah.”

“Where are you now?”

“I’m on a bus.”

“Give me a ring when you get home. We’d like to start planning the next VT to film …”

“Oh. Ah. I won’t actually be home until tomorrow night….”

“Okay, well … give us a call then …”

“Will do. And listen—can you tell Ricky something?”

“Sure. What?”

“Tell him I’m on my way to Barcelona.”

It was three days since I’d poked a monk and such a lot had happened.

I had found it quite incredible that somewhere out there, there was someone else, like me, saying yes. Not as an option, but as a way of life. From what Ricky had told me, this man wasn’t an amateur like me. He wasn’t just doing it until the New Year or because he felt he needed to or because he couldn’t get out of it. He
was doing it, it seemed, because that’s just what he did. He said yes. To everything.

Even if Ricky hadn’t suggested going to Barcelona, I would’ve wanted to meet this man. But now that I’d said yes, I couldn’t
not
meet him. And so Ricky had given me an e-mail address he thought might work, and I had tried it.

I told Marc the truth. That I wanted to speak to him about
si a todo
. That I knew I was a complete stranger, and that this must seem a bit odd, but a man I’d only just met through a Yes had told me about him. He was the Yes Man of Barcelona; I was the Yes Man of London…. It seemed only right that we should compare notes.