Words Heard in Silence (38 page)

Rebecca felt like a girl, embarrassed and confused. "No, I have never felt that way. The only thing I have found I enjoy is lying with Charlie. My husband……well let us say I have never heard sounds like I heard out of Charlie that night."

"Well, dear, from what you have said, I suspect your husband was one of those sad people who get pleasure from controlling others. Charlie, on the other hand, is a very giving soul. And at his core, he has the sensibilities of a very passionate woman, not a man. The most intimate and binding love of all is one that encompasses the heart, soul and body. Your Charlie is willing to give you all of those things, as soon as you are willing to accept them."

Rebecca nodded and took Elizabeth's hand. "Thank you. You know I have no desire to hurt Charlie. I just wanted to make sure he was all right."

"I suspect the worst thing that Charlie has to deal with right now is some frustration. He can hold you, but is not free to express the range of his love for you. He will survive, with the help of some cold baths, and a few late nights like you had that night. You might find him running more or doing other things to tire himself physically. And you are doing exactly the right thing. Accept what love and physical affection from him you are comfortable with. Take each step slowly, and build your relationship on trust and friendship so that it will last through the years."

"Umm, one other thing. That night after Charlie was asleep, I got a very unusual feeling very deep in my stomach and I was wondering," her voice actually cracked and she had to clear her throat. "If that is all right."

"Was the feeling unpleasant or just unusual –– a tightness perhaps? A tingling sensation or a swollen sensation? And did you notice if your heartbeat jumped a bit or other parts of your body became sensitive?"

"It definitely was not unpleasant. And yes, I felt all those things; it took a good quarter hour for my heart to stop beating so loudly I could hear it in my ears. And when Charlie rolled over and wrapped me up in his arms, all I could do was whimper."

Elizabeth drew a deep mental sigh, while holding her external appearance neutral and gentle.
Oh, lord, one virgin trying to teach another one something about intimacy is not my best skill. Charlie, my friend, I certainly hope you have more experience than I do in the actual act. Because I am working from the textbook right now.
"I believe, my dear, that your body was responding to Charlie –– to the physical desire he has for you and to the desire you have for him. Those feelings are all part of becoming sexually excited, dear woman."

Rebecca laughed. "Well, that is new." She shook her head again. "I cannot believe I have to ask these questions. I am a grown woman for Heaven’s sake. One who has been married and widowed. You would think I would have some clue."

Elizabeth softened from her rather clinical self. "Rebecca, you are a grown woman who had a harsh and unloving husband, and who is now confronted with a relationship that is, to say the least, outside of the boundaries of 'normal,' whatever that is. Of course you have new things to learn."

R
ebecca was quite pleased with the way everything had come together in a single day. Duncan and his men had done a tremendous job refurbishing the rooms that would house the refugees arriving later in the day.

Mr. Cooper had rounded up a man to deliver a few mattresses and the wood stove from the church. It had only taken a couple of men from Duncan’s crew about two hours to get it properly installed and vented.

While Rebecca was glad to help where she could, she had to admit, at least to herself, that the thought of having strangers come into her home was a little daunting. She had no idea what to expect. She was also concerned for Charlie; his off handed comment about spies concerned her as well.

They might only be women and children but nothing was beyond the realm of impossibility at the moment. From listening to Charlie and Colonel Polk talk in the evening, she knew the Confederacy was desperate to mount a final strike in the hopes of winning a war long since lost.

She made a mental note to herself to watch and listen to everything very carefully. She would not let any harm come to Charlie or his men.

She was walking toward the front of the house when she heard the little voice. She followed the giggles to the front parlor where Constance was busy with Emily, who was perched on a chair looking out the window.

"Papa!" The child yelled and banged on the glass pane.

"Oh, does someone see Colonel Redmond?"

"Yes ma'am. The Colonel is standing out front with a few of his officers smoking a cigar." Charlie and Jocko had just returned from their daily trip, dusty and tired, but in good humor. They had stopped to talk to several of the company commanders, who had been walking down the drive from the rail yards.

Rebecca smiled, moving to the window to see Charlie with Polk and a few others. He was laughing and looked very relaxed. She let an evil thought germinate for just a moment. "Em, would you like to go see Papa?"

The baby’s eyes grew wide when she looked to Rebecca. "Papa!" She yelled before banging on the window again.

"Well, come on then before you break the window." She scooped the baby up in her arms and headed for the front door. She pulled it open and stepped out on the front porch.

"Papa!" Emily squealed and clapped her hands.

Charlie just dropped his head and shook it slowly from side to side. He turned around and waved to them, his smile was a cross between affectionate and total embarrassment.

"You have someone who is desperate to see you, Colonel." Rebecca chuckled as she lifted her skirt and descended the steps. "I was afraid she was going to break the glass in the parlor window."

The moment he was in reach, Emily lunged for Charlie. "Papa. Kiss Papa."

Charlie's men stifled laughs as their commander was graced with a sloppy baby kiss and a fierce hug.

The Colonel cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, may I introduce Miss Emily. She and her mother are going to stay with Mrs. Gaines for a while."

Each man in turn said hello to the baby, all the while barely allowing his smile to break through.

"Papa." Emily patted Charlie's chest. "'Orsy?"

"I promise to bring Shannon by for you to see later today, little one." He looked to the men. "She only loves me for my horse."

R
ebecca and Constance enjoyed a light lunch together and then mother and daughter retired to their room for a nap. Rebecca made the rounds of the house looking for last minute things to be done, but finding nothing. That helped her peace of mind considerably.

Going into the kitchen she found Sarah and Beulah preparing large pots of soup. "Hmm, something smells good." She peeked in one of the pots, then found a spoon in her hand. She smiled at Sarah before tasting the soup. "Ooo that is very good. What is that?"

"Tis only ham and bean soup, Miss Rebecca. Corporal Duncan brought the beans and Mr. Cooper supplied a little ham for flavoring."

"Sarah, you have done wonders." Rebecca could not resist and she took another taste of the soup. "And what are you making, Beulah?"

"Sarah convinced me to make cornbread. We are going to have a lot of extra mouths to feed this evening."

"And every evening for sometime to come I think." Rebecca agreed.

"Miss Rebecca?"

"Yes, Sarah."

"Colonel Redmond mentioned the possibility of hiring a few more people, especially since he is talking of opening the north wing and rebuilding the stables. I was wondering if he still wants to do that. I have several family members who are eager for work and good food."

"I believe he is, but you will have to speak with the Colonel about that. You may speak with him this evening after dinner."

"Yes, Ma’am."

Reg entered the kitchen and gestured to Rebecca. "Ma’am, Mrs. Cooper and Mrs. Williams are here."

Rebecca looked to the ceiling and prayed to God to give her strength. "All right, let us go greet them. Where is Daniel when I need him most."

"Ma’am?"

"Nothing Reg. Let us go see what is to be said today."

They walked to the front of the house where the ladies were getting out of their carriage, which had been followed by a wagon carrying the refugees from town.

"Good day, ladies." Rebecca greeted them as she watched everyone get out of the wagon with Reg’s help. "Gaines Cove is ready and we welcome you all. Sarah is preparing hot soup and tea for you, and Reg will show you to your room. There is a warm fire and a warm, dry bed for each of you."

She moved to a boy of about ten years old. The look on his young face made Rebecca’s heart ache. "What is your name son?"

"Jeremiah."

"Well, Jeremiah, I am glad to see a young man here."

"I have been taking care of my Mama since Papa was called away."

"I am sure you have. And I am sure you will be a great help. There are a lot of things for a young man to do around here."

Jeremiah looked back to his mother. "Will that be all right Mama?"

"Of course, son. You may help where Mrs. Gaines needs you. It is the least we can do to repay her for her kindness."

"You owe me nothing. But I think it will be good to keep young Jeremiah busy."

"Yes, Ma’am, you know how boys can be."

"Indeed I do. My brother Andrew was one that father had to keep busy lest he found himself into something that was best not gotten into." She ruffled the boy’s hair. "Then start by helping everyone get settled."

"Yes, Ma’am."

The blonde turned to the boy’s mother. "Please call me Rebecca. And you are?"

"Samantha Carter."

"I am glad to meet you, Samantha. Iwish it were under better circumstances. Welcome to my home. Now go ahead with Reg and get yourself settled. I will be in directly."

She watched as the group went to the house. She would have to take the time to get to know all of them. She turned back to Mrs. Cooper. "Well, Grace, this is a start."

"Yes, it is, Rebecca, we are grateful."

Mrs. Williams sniffed. "My husband tells me we can expect to see you and the Colonel at services this Sunday."

Oh Lord Charlie what have you gotten us into now? Are we to show up at church as a couple?
Rebecca smiled. "If that is what the Colonel said, Mrs. Williams, then yes we will be at services on Sunday. I look forward to it, as circumstances have kept me from attendance for some time."

C
harlie roused the entire household early on Sunday morning. He had promised, and he meant to keep his word. They would all be in church, wearing their best, and presenting themselves as proper members of the community. Polk, half of his company commanders, and all but one of Samuelson’s medics were coming as well.

Rebecca wore a discreet dove gray dress, while Charlie was in his Daniel costume, as was Polk when he came to join them. Elizabeth was in stark black and white, as was appropriate to her professional standing. Between them, Rebecca and Lizbet had found appropriate Sunday clothing for all of the ladies. Even the servants were gussied up for the day. As the wagons and carriage filled with representatives from Gaines Cove, four more officers rode up, all in their best, to serve as both escort and representatives of the regiment.

The churchgoing citizens of Culpeper did not know what hit them when this entourage rode into the churchyard.

In marched Rebecca and Charlie, along with Elizabeth, Polk, Constance and Emily. They sat down in the Gaines pew at the front of the church, one of the few real benefits the late and unlamented Mr. Gaines had provided Rebecca. Emily sat between Constance and Rebecca, with the two gentlemen taking the end positions.

Behind them came the twelve refugees, the women and children staying at the farm. Four officers and four of the regiment’s medics escorted them. They took their places in the unassigned pews at the rear of the building. The servants made their way upstairs to the Negroes’ balcony. At breakfast, Charlie had told Sarah and Beulah to recruit three more servants to help take care of the influx of refugees and sick people. A wave of hushed whispers rippled through the balcony as those two very efficient women looked for the right staff among their friends and relations.

Mrs. Williams, sitting at the organ to the side of the apse, drew a hissing breath between her teeth.
How dare they come into this church as if they were a family; these interlopers, these traitors to the glorious intent of the founding fathers?

A sweet little voice rose above the hushed whispers that were circling around the church. "Papa. Papa." Em was trying to crawl across Rebecca’s lap to get to Charlie.

"Hush, Em. We are in God’s house. You must be respectful and quiet in God’s house."

"Yes, Mama." The little girl settled into the crook of her mother’s arm.

Mrs. Cooper and the rest of the choir filed into their position behind the organ. She smiled to herself as she saw Rebecca sitting with her Colonel. The little black haired imp beside Rebecca could, indeed, be Colonel Redmond’s child. But then, Mrs. Carter was also dark haired.

"That child called that monster Papa. And Mrs. Carter allowed it. What has happened to all of the good Southern women in this town? Corrupted by those damned Yankees. Look at that little slut sitting there in dear Mr. Gaines’ pew, that noble hero of the cause, as if she were proud to be there with that Yankee. It is disgraceful, I tell you, absolutely disgraceful."

"Margaret Williams, you watch your mouth. I do declare, one of these days you will be struck down for your blaspheming. I happen to know that Mrs. Gaines has every right to sit there, and that Colonel Redmond has only the most honorable of intentions. He may have chosen for the Union in this war, but he is still a good Southern gentleman."