Womanizer (Spoilt) (26 page)

“Izzy,” he said reaching out towards her. She glared at him and took a step back. “Isabelle, my heart can’t take much more of this. If you’re going to give me some speech about not being able to trust me, I don’t want to hear it either! I’m in love with you. I think I was from the moment I saw you. You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met and you bought my emotions out of hiding. I can’t change what I did in the past but I have never, and would never, do anything to hurt you. When I thought you were going to die, I thought I would as well.”

Everything he’d held inside since the accident poured out of him without control
, and for the first time he wasn’t going to walk on eggshells and be careful what he said. He’d had enough and her rejection. Now was the last straw.

“I …
my experience has shown me otherwise. I don’t know any different because I have no recollections, just feelings and memories out of reach. I saw years of my mother alone and sad because of a man with no morals, no decency, who was selfish.”

“I’m not your father.
You asked me to relive our time together. I’ve had to prove all over again that I am trustworthy and you still can’t remember the truth. What if you never do? This is pure torture for me and I can’t take much more of this, especially after today. I knew deep down that until your perception of me changed, or you got your memory back - if you do - you wouldn’t believe in me. I can’t go through all this again. Every time I look at you, I want to kiss you and take away your concerns, but I can’t.” Mitch attempted to keep his voice even and gentle. Getting angry at her wouldn’t help. Besides, this wasn’t her fault and would be far worse for her than him, if that was even possible.

“Now that I’ve remembered this, I feel like such a fool for trusting you. You say the right words and turn on the charm
, and I want to believe you. I know what I remember and how I feel about it.”

Gone from her eyes was the contentment and warmth there moments before. Now she looked at him like he was chewing gum on her shoe. His patience was wearing thin but he knew he had to stay in control. This wasn’t her fault. He took another step towards her but she recoiled and shook her head.

“Do you honestly think, after everything that has happened, that I did that to you?”

“I don’t know. There must be a reason we’re to
gether. I just don’t remember what that is.”

“Love, Isabelle,
love is why we are together. I … please, I can’t do this anymore.”

Seeking space and a chance to cool down, he went to leave the room. Her voice halted him.

“If you’re so sure that you’re worth trusting, prove it to me.”

“No!” He had lost all control now. “You have tortured me enough. The
Izzy I love would give me the benefit of the doubt and ask me first before judging me.” He stopped and panted out his anger. “You aren’t the woman I fell in love with, you just look like her and it’s killing me.”

This time he did leave, and before Isabelle could stop him, he stormed out the front door and the sound of his car tearing out the driveway ripped at her heart. The instant he’d gone she felt lost and alone. An overpowering feeling of passion and love swept through her body, and when the memory came flooding back, this time it stayed. They were dancing at what appeared to be a wedding. Although the memory was hazy, the feelings were strong. In that moment she remembered feeling loved and adored. She recalled feeling all the same things for him in return. Frustration caused her to yell out as the image faded but the feeling remained. Her love for him rushed up to the surface and she discovered she didn’t need to remember. Isabelle believed her instincts and feelings. Now she had to wait for him to calm down and return.

In a blind fury he drove towards the city. Mitch didn’t know where he was going but he knew he had to be away from her. When he looked at her it wasn’t the same. Her uncertainty, even after wanting to explore her feelings and memories, tore at what little composure remained. He didn’t blame her, she didn’t remember him. His womanizing ways had caught up with him. Again. It seemed the only memory she recalled was of their misunderstandings. Why did she have to remember that and not their passion-filled nights? After all that had happened, he couldn’t get her love and trust back again. Better to walk away now than to have her continue to live in their house but never remember it or him.

All he could see in his mind was her delight after the gallery opening and the prospe
ct of their new life together, how overjoyed she had been when he’d shown her the house. That was all lost to him now. He had to let her go before it destroyed him. The last thing he wanted was company, or at least company he knew, so he drove to a bar near his old apartment and ordered a stiff drink.

Chapter Thirty

Trust

Isabelle gave up waiting for him to return around midnight and decided to go to bed. Sleep didn’t appear to be an option, so she got up again. Bundling up her bed covers, she wandered outside to sit, think and wait. Why had the cruel hand of fate intercepted their lives and taken it away?

From all accounts -
aside from Adele’s story and her one incomplete memory - they’d been happy, in love and ready to be a family. Mitch had bought this beautiful house but her mind played tricks on her and had her wondering if his reasons were genuine. Had he changed his life for her? She wanted to remember their time together and how they’d overcome his betrayal. Had he betrayed her? The flash of memory said yes but her heart ... that said something else. The ache she felt now wasn’t just for lost memories but for him. The emptiness living inside her since she woke in the hospital she’d mistaken for grief, when in fact it was because she missed him.

At first her fear over him being a stranger allowed her to keep him at a distance. The nagging feeling remained from the beginning, the familiarity
, and for a while she chose to ignore it, ignore her instincts until today when the overwhelming urge to be with him took control. Was there a reason she took a chance on him today?

With determination she tried to push down the a barrier in her mi
nd to penetrate what hid behind but all it managed to produce as dawn’s first light crept into view was a headache.

It had been mid-afternoon when Mitch arrived at the bar, so by six and too many drinks, he couldn’t remember the name of it. Knowing that getting into his car now would be ludicrous, and as he’d left his phone behind in his haste to retreat, he asked the man tending the bar if he could use the phone to call for a ride. He decided Jared was his best option. Exposing Mabel and Tommy to his inebriation didn’t sit well with him. At least he still had some wits about him.

Mitch slumped
, nursing the drink he’d being trying to finish since making the call, when Jared walked in. With one look at his brother, he knew he had lost all strength and composure.

“Hey, Mitch, t
ime to go,” he said as he assisted his drunken brother from the stool.

“
Heeey, Jared! Thanks for coming to get me. What would I do without you?” He stumbled over his words and feet as they headed towards the door.

“Come on. You can sleep it off at my place.”

“She’s lost to me, Jared. She doesn’t trust me because I was an idiot.”

“How about we talk about it in the morning?” Jared suggested as he bundled him into the car.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I have to … I … love her … it hurts …”

And with that he promptly passed out.

As Mitch hadn’t returned home, Carol went to locate Isabelle and found her in the same place she’d been all night. She suspected her daughter would be thinking the worst: that she’d been proven right and that men like that don’t change.

“Have you been out here all night?”

“Pretty much.”

“Are you alright?”

“No,” she whispered as tears trailed down her pale cheeks. “I feel so lost, even more so than before.”

“He has to come back eventually.”

“I know but the damage has been done. I remembered things last night.”

“This is good news,” Carol said taking a seat beside Isabelle and taking her hand.

“To start with all I got was the usual flashes but then
, just after dawn, when I thought I wouldn’t remember anything, everything came back. I remember it all. Jesse, modeling, our apartment and Mitch, especially Mitch. How could I have doubted him, Mum?”

“It was natural, human. You didn’t remember who he was. You were scared and didn’t know what or who to believe and what was real.”

“From the first day I knew something was missing, something was there and I ignored it. Now he left angry and hurt and I wouldn’t blame him for finding solace in someone else’s arms. I pushed him there.”

“You don’t know that’s what he’s been doing. Jumping to conclusions is the last thing you need to do now.”

“I know but how do I know he hasn’t either? Will I be able to live with it if he has? Have I hurt him too much that he won’t …”

“He loves you, Isabelle.”

She shrugged. “I might have pushed him too far this time.”

Light penetrating his eyelids woke Mitch with rude abruptness the next morning. His head pounded out a relentless thud and his mouth, well foul, didn’t quite cover the taste. What the hell happened? Looking around to get his bearings, he discovered himself in Jared’s spare bedroom. With relief, he struggled to his feet and staggered out to the kitchen.

His brother co
ntinued to cook the very appetizing and greasy breakfast without saying a word, before filling a glass with water and placing it in front of Mitch who drained it in one breath. They repeated the process three times before either of them spoke.

“Where was I?”

“That sleazy joint near your old apartment. Larry’s or Jerry’s, something like that.”

“La
rry’s.” He groaned. “What was I …?” Mitch stopped as he remembered the answer to his own question. “Isabelle.”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Yes, unfortunately,” he mumbled into the fresh coffee that had materialized before him by his gracious host.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know. What good is it going to do?”

“Spill.
It might help.”

Mitch relayed the events of the previous day
, and when he finished, his misery began to suffocate him again. Love, it appeared, did hurt. He recalled how all those months ago he’d pondered his life and whether he wanted to find love, and the concerns he’d had about it. Now it seemed his concerns were warranted after all.

“I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of trying to prove something that she isn’t willing to believe. I can’t be around her knowing she isn’t sure. I love her too much.”

“The course of true love never runs smooth.”

“Could you be more clichéd?” Mitch said with a small smile.

“What are you going to do now?”

Mitch shrugged. “Help them find somewhere else to live. Sell the house. I don’t know. I have orders for more of my photos
and I haven’t even begun to fill them. I have been so absorbed by her and Jesse that I haven’t been able to do anything else. I guess I haven’t wanted to.”

“You love Jesse too
, don’t you?”

“Almost as much as I love his mothe
r. I want to be there for him, be his father. I can’t believe I’m even saying this. The last few weeks I’ve spent with him have been great. He’s a good kid. I don’t want to lose either of them.”

“Don’t make any decisions right now. I know how difficult this is but it’s probably worse for her.”

“I know, that’s what makes it even harder. She has lost part of her life and this is the only thing that has kept me going. The worst part is now I’ve been with her again, it complicates everything. You of all people know what it’s like being around the woman you love and not being able to touch her.”

“Yeah, I know. I guess I can’t lecture you on being stubborn.”

“Right but it isn’t me who is stopping it from happening, it’s her and its killing me.”

Carol took Jesse to the beach again to give Isabelle some space and rest, which proved to be impossible. Her heart ached at what she had done to the man she loved. Now he’d been gone all night and she was in despair over what she may have pushed him into. All she could do was await his return and assure him of her love, the love which had been there all along but her apprehension and lack of comprehension had driven it deep inside her. Now it had resurfaced with a vengeance and the thought of losing him left her feeling numb.

When she heard his car pull up, Isabelle raced from her room to greet him at the front door. When he loped i
n he looked awful. His damp hair indicated he’d showered and his haggard appearance indicated lack of sleep. Her heart dropped with a crash to land at her feet.

“Mitch,” she cried. “I remember …
I -”