With or Without Him (10 page)

They walked out of the college and into Greenwich. Tyler led him to a café near the Cutty Sark, the newly opened reconstructed clipper that had been badly damaged in a fire a few years ago.

“Don’t you think it looks like it’s parked on some massive greenhouse?” Tyler asked.

The ship sat frozen in a glass sea, unable to sail away, just like him.

Tyler chose a table at the back.

“What can I get you?” asked a red-haired waiter.

“Black coffee and a chocolate brownie,” Tyler said.

Haris swallowed to bring moisture back into his mouth. “The same.”
Christ, I don’t even like black coffee or chocolate brownies.
Not that it mattered. He doubted he could eat or drink a thing.

“So…” Tyler said. “Are you stalking me?”

Haris barked out a laugh. “No. Yes. No. Oh Christ.” His breath seared his throat.

“As long as you’re not the Grim Reaper…” Tyler smiled again, his face suddenly open, and a weight lifted from Haris’s stomach.

The coffees and brownies arrived and he regained some control. “Could I have some hot milk, please?”

He turned from the waiter to Tyler and saw he was staring at him. Tyler’s pupils had dilated and his lips were parted.
Oh fuck, it isn’t just me. Whatever this is, he feels it too.

Once he’d added milk to his coffee and taken a sip, Haris felt able to speak again. “The first time I saw you was last night at the concert.” He didn’t think he needed to tell him about listening to him throw up in the bathroom.

Tyler’s lip quirked. “You think I played
La Campanella
too fast?”

“I suspect only Liszt can answer that and he’d probably have told you to play it as fast as you fucking well like. Probably without the word fucking.”

Tyler smiled.

Haris took a deep breath. He wasn’t comfortable exposing himself like this. It was so much easier to have sex with some anonymous guy and walk away. But that wasn’t what he wanted. Not this time.

“So…” Tyler muttered.

“You have me mesmerized. I feel like I’ve been overwhelmed by something I don’t understand. You, your music… When you left last night, I followed. I thought you’d notice me on the train, but you were in too much of a hurry. I didn’t get into the warehouse straight away. I had to wait and buy a ticket.”

Tyler stared straight at him. “Was it you who turned off the lights and started the fire alarm?”

“Yes.”

“Ha! I knew it.”

“I couldn’t get anywhere with your rigger. Talking wouldn’t have persuaded him. I needed a diversion.”

“How did you know I wanted out?”

“Your eyes.”

Tyler closed them a moment and then raised his head to look at him again. “I’m not a bottom,” he said quietly. “I don’t have a rigger. I’m not into getting hurt for other people’s entertainment or my own. If that’s what you’re into and you’re looking for a sub, then you might as well get up and walk away because I’m not going to call you sir and ask you to hit me. You should probably walk away anyway.”

Haris watched him break off chunks of brownie, slip them between his lips and lick his fingers, and knew walking away was not an option. And not just because of the steel pole in his pants.

“I’m not into that scene either,” Haris said. “I was only there because I’d followed you. Are you involved with anyone?” He clenched his fingers under the table.

“No.”

He let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “I’d like you to be involved with me.”

Tyler didn’t say anything. He pressed brown crumbs together on his plate and then flicked the lump aside. “What changed from last night? I offered. You turned me down. You acted like I repulsed you.”

“I know, I’m sorry. You didn’t. You have no idea how much I wanted you. But if I’d let it happen, we’d have fucked in my car and that would have been it. I want…I need something more with you. You…fascinate me. It’s a long time since I’ve felt so intrigued by anyone.”

Tyler stayed silent.

“But if we’re going to take this further, there have to be conditions,” Haris said. His racing heart scared him. Lust swamped his common sense. He couldn’t let his emotions run unchecked. If he treated this as if it was a business deal, he could stay in control and Tyler would be no threat.

Tyler shifted on his seat. “What sort of conditions?”

“You’d be mine exclusively. Which means while you’re with me, you don’t fuck anyone else.”

He scowled. “I know what exclusively means. That apply to you too?”

Haris nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“What else?”

“You live with me, eat with me, spend your evenings with me. You can have your own room. Unless you have college commitments, I expect you to be available to accompany me to business events and take occasional trips abroad. We’ll spend Christmas and New Year together.”

Tyler leaned back in his chair and laughed. “You want to skip the going out on dates, getting to know you bit and move straight into living together?”

“Yes.”
Because I have to have you now and one night won’t be enough.

“That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Not as crazy as I feel about you. I can’t let you go. I have to tie you to me.

Tyler’s lips curved in a smile and Haris understood he couldn’t keep a guy like him. Tyler was wild and beautiful, and he’d get bored and want to leave, unless Haris made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
 

“I’m prepared to pay you twenty thousand pounds to be mine for four months.”

Tyler’s chair banged on the floor and his hand clattered onto the edge of his plate almost knocking it off the table. “That’s a business deal, not a relationship.”

Haris wet his lips. He was glad Tyler had grasped that. “Exactly. I’ll provide another ten to buy clothes and shoes. You’ll need a few smart suits, a tux, ski gear.”
 

He could have sworn Tyler’s eyes darkened.

“You want to pay me to have sex with you.”

Yes. No. Oh God.
“I want to pay you to live with me for four months.”

“And have sex.”

“Yes.” His cock was about to break his zipper.

“What sort of sex?” Tyler furrowed his brow.

“You want me to detail it?” Haris swallowed hard.

“I won’t do anything I don’t want to,” Tyler said.

“Okay.”

“You haven’t even asked me what that is.”

“I don’t need to. I don’t want to do anything to you that you don’t want. That’s not my thing.”

“But complete control is?”

I’m paying you so that I can trust you.
“I want someone to come home to, someone to have fun with, someone who likes me back. I thought that might be you.”

“You want to pay to fuck me.”

“If that was true, why would I ask you to live with me? I could just arrange to meet you and pay you to stick your arse in the air.”

“If I live with you, I’m conveniently available when you’re horny. Saves you having to leave the house.”

This wasn’t going right but Tyler had neither stormed out, nor refused, only argued. Haris took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “It’s a simple arrangement from which we both benefit. My lawyer can draw up a contract. It’s better like that so we both know exactly where we stand.”

Tyler snapped his finger against his wrist. “I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered.”

Haris pulled out a business card and set it on the table. “You don’t need to be either.” Yet it was true. He was both insulting and flattering Tyler. This was the worst idea in the world.

“I don’t expect you to answer now.”
Because I can’t sit here and listen to you say no.
“Think about it. I’ll be at the OXO Tower restaurant tomorrow night. Seven thirty.”

“What makes you think I’m the sort of guy who’d fuck someone for money?” Tyler’s jaw twitched.

“That’s not the way I see you.”
Liar.
“That’s not what I want.”
More lies?

“But you’re offering to pay me. What do you get out of it?”

“I’m paying for your time, your exclusivity, your undivided attention. I’m a busy guy. I know what I want and I want you. Though I’m prepared to share you with your music.”
 

His attempt at a joke fell flat.

“Four months.” Tyler chewed his lip and Haris longed to soothe it with his tongue.

“Then we walk away from each other.” By then, he’d have worked Tyler out of his system. By then, he’d know whether he could sustain a relationship. By then, he’d know if something was permanently broken inside him.

“You don’t even know me,” Tyler whispered. “I don’t understand. Why so much money? Why four months? Why me?”

Haris could only answer the last. “Because you make me feel…”
Oh God, add a word other than desperate or protective, “…
irresponsible. If you want to earn twenty thousand, meet me tomorrow.”

He tossed a twenty-pound note on the table and left before Tyler could turn him down or he kept talking and made matters worse. He didn’t think about which direction he was heading, he just didn’t want to stop walking because if he did, his brain might catch up with his mouth and he’d wonder what the hell he’d just done.

Too late. Christ.

He knew what he’d done and why he’d done it. He wanted to make Tyler an offer he couldn’t afford to turn down. He wanted to save Tyler because he hadn’t saved Karl. It didn’t matter that Tyler wasn’t into the BDSM scene. Last night, he had been and if he was desperate for money, he’d get sucked in. But he didn’t just want to save Tyler, he wanted him in his bed.

When he took in the glazed dome that sat above the foot tunnel running under the Thames, Haris ignored the lift and walked down the hundred or so steps that led him fifty feet beneath the river. He made his way along the tiled tunnel, up the stairs on the other side, and emerged into the Isle of Dogs. Ten minutes later he was in his office with a list of calls he needed to make, a list of people he needed to see and enough work to stop him thinking about what a fool he’d just made of himself.

Almost, but not quite. Not so easy to get Tyler out of his head. But the more he thought about what he’d done, the more sense it made. They’d both get exactly what they needed.

Tyler wasn’t easily shocked but
fucking hell.
He stared at the door of the café and watched Haris walk away. Thirty thousand pounds? Minus the cost of a few items of clothing. He didn’t need to spend ten thousand on clothes. He picked up the brownie Haris hadn’t touched and bit into it. Tyler had a vague feeling he ought to be pissed off by the offer, but since he was already accepting money for guys to do more or less what they wanted to his body, acting annoyed would be a touch hypocritical. What he found insulting was Haris thinking him that sort of guy, someone who could be bought.

Though…
I am.
Maybe Haris could see that, maybe it was written all over him. Was it really a straight forward business deal or something else? Tyler sagged. What else could it be? Haris had offered to pay him to be his fuck buddy and in doing so, had solved most of his problems. The thirty thousand would eat up a huge chunk of his debt and leave a manageable amount by the time he graduated. There was no need to go anywhere near Prescott ever again. A thought that made him feel happier than he had in a long time. No more sucking off guys he didn’t know. No more threesomes, foursomes.
No more Gerald.

But he knew nothing about Haris. At least he
knew
Prescott was an asshole and Gerald was a sadist. What if Haris was worse? What if he had some weird kink and was into penis plugs or sounds or fisting? One ray of light was that Haris had only been at the BDSM event because he’d followed him, unless he’d lied, and he might have. Although, if he hadn’t been there and Lu had left that ball gag in place… The brownie stuck in his throat and he took the final mouthful of coffee to wash it down.

What was the risk? Haris was offering a business deal, not undying love. A contract for four months and he could walk away with almost all the money he needed. One man to please. A man who already pleased him. How could he turn it down? Tyler twisted Haris’s card in his fingers all the way back to college.

Chapter Six

Tyler had taken a lot of pains with his appearance, though he’d not made a good job of getting the creases out of his shirt. Before he left his room, he planted himself in front of the mirror and practiced his smile. He was so pale he looked like a vampire.
Shit.
But maybe that was what Haris liked about him.

He tugged at the bright red tie around his neck most of the way to the OXO tower. He wasn’t used to wearing one. He’d bought it for fifty pence from a charity shop. Maybe the restaurant didn’t require diners to wear a tie but he didn’t want to take the chance.

Now he stood at the foot of the building, wondering if Haris would change his mind once they’d fucked. Tyler wasn’t a thirty thousand pound lay. Not that anyone had ever complained but…
Oh Christ.
Four months, around sixteen weeks, fucking maybe six times a week—and did it count how many times a night they came? Whether he fucked Haris or the other way around?—so almost a hundred times over the four months would make it three hundred quid a fuck. If his math was right. Was he a three hundred pound lay? He could be.