I could feel my cheeks burning. I blew it last time; I refused to blow it again.
“Yeah,” I said, before I lost my nerve. “Of course I would.”
He smiled. “Okay, good.”
And the conversation pretty much ended there. He hadn’t actually asked me if I wanted to go to the dance with him. I was confused about the whole thing. I had been contemplating whether or not I wanted to go to that year’s dance for a while. To be honest I had never been to a school dance.
After Emily had told everyone in school about the incident in the locker room they pretty much had avoided me. People had done nothing but look away from me since my second day of high school. I’m sure they felt that if they tried to be friends with me, Emily would be as merciless toward them as she was toward me. And no one wanted that.
That year was different. I wouldn’t have gone so far as to say that Viper liked me or anything, but he was really sweet and friendly toward me. Something people in my school hadn’t been in a very long time. I thought that perhaps I finally had a shot at a date to a school dance.
We seemed to spend the rest of lunch talking about anything but the dance. I got lost in my drawings again during the second half of art class, so I didn’t give the situation too much attention. At the end we said goodbye in the hallway and parted for our last class of the day. He headed to the gym and I made my way to my history class.
“Hey, Emma.”
As soon as I walked into the classroom Madison descended on me.
“So I heard you and Viper are going to the dance together.”
I knew my little act of kindness was going to be more trouble than it was worth. I tried to ignore her and pushed past to the desk I normally sat in. It happened to be the closest to the door. I could tell that when class ended I was going to want to get out as soon as possible.
To my horror she sat at the desk right in front of me. She sat down, put her things on her desk, then turned right back to me.
“How did you do it?”
I made sure not to look at her lest I turn to stone. “Do what?”
“Duh,” she said. “Get him to ask you to the dance.”
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t ‘get him’ to do anything.”
“Oh, right,” Madison said in an unbelieving tone. “So he just asked you on his own, did he? I think Emily is right; you probably spend all your time brewing a love potion to trick him into thinking he actually likes you.”
I opened my history book and searched for my homework. She either couldn’t or refused to take a hint. Which it was, I didn’t care to know.
“I mean why else would he ask
you
out? You aren’t anything special. I was getting close to him and you ruined my chance. I was suspicious when we saw you two on the bridge the other night, but I wasn’t expecting anything like this.”
I slammed my book shut and looked at her. “Listen, I didn’t do anything. You’d think it would be easy for you to get it through your airhead that you aren’t special. So keep your big nose out of where it doesn’t belong.”
She stared at me dumbstruck. “I do
not
have a big nose.”
Mr. Loise looked up from his desk. “Miss Valentine, please keep your voice down or I will send you to the front office.”
“Emma said I have a big nose.”
“Well, I’m sorry,” he said, “but solve it outside. I don’t want any fighting during my class.” He looked through his book for the page with the homework he’d assigned.
“Look,” she said, turning back to me. “I really don’t like you, but I’m going to let this go for now. Just don’t think you’re off the hook. I’m going to figure out what you’re doing to him. It would be a lot easier if you just told me, but since you refuse to talk I guess I’ll have to figure it out myself.”
“Okay,” Mr. Loise said. “Hand in your homework; if you don’t have it done I am very sorry for you.”
Everyone handed a sheet of paper to the person in front of them. I tried to hand mine to Madison, but she turned around and ignored me.
“Madison, don’t be like that,” I said, pretending my feelings were hurt. “Please hand in my homework.”
She examined her nails. “Since I don’t have mine, I’m not handing yours in.”
I shrugged and handed it to the person next to me. Ashley was more than happy to oblige. She handed it to the person in front of her without a problem.
“Is this all of them?” Mr. Loise put a paperclip over the corner of the stack. “Okay then, clear your desks. We are having a pop quiz over what you read for the homework.”
I usually hated quizzes, but I liked that I was well prepared for this one while Madison was as lost as she could possibly be. I couldn’t help but smile while watching her panic and write down whatever she could come up with off the top of her head.
IV
A divergence
His dead weight presses against my chest, squeezing the air out of my lungs. I can’t breathe. It feels like my head has been pushed under water and is about to explode.
I gasp for breath, praying that the lack of oxygen won’t cause me to pass out. I inhale as much air as I can and will myself to stay airborne. The air clears the buzzing inside my head in enough time for me to realize that strong will alone isn’t going to do the trick.
He unknowingly uses his weight against me. I close my eyes trying to somehow freeze time in the brief moment we are suspended in mid-air without support or, as I now realize, without hope.
* * *
The bell rang to end the day. I picked up my things and tried to get out of history as quickly as I could. When I stepped outside the cold air pricked my face. It was comforting after the day I’d had. I enjoyed watching little snowflakes fall from the sky. A cold gust of wind blew around me while I made my way home. The lumps on my back started pounding. It didn’t hurt; it felt like my lungs were in them and I couldn’t get my breathing right. They had always been a little sensitive in the wind and cold, but I had never felt the beating like I did that day. They longed for something.
I stopped and pulled my scarf out of my bag. The temperature was much colder than it had been during the morning’s walk to school. There was probably a cold front moving in. By the time I reached my house there was a blanket of fresh snow. It didn’t look dirty like the snow under it had grown to be.
I took out my keys from my bag and opened the door.
“Mom, I’m home,” I said.
“Hey, honey,” she said with her welcome home smile. “How was school?”
“It was okay,” I said. “You know, boring quizzes, fights…”
“What?” said Mom with a shocked expression. “You got into
another
fight?”
“Close to it,” I said, “but nothing serious happened.”
“Emma, I want you to stop starting fights. The school is going to decide to kick you out for good one of these days.”
“I’m not the one starting them. People find reasons to be mad at me,” I said, walking to the stairs. “I have homework to do and Viper will be over later. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
“Okay, sweetheart,” she said, watching me carefully.
* * *
Homework never took me very long. School was out at 3:40 in the afternoon and I started my homework as soon as I got home at four. When I finished it was almost 6:30 so I took a quick shower and changed before Viper arrived. I wasn’t surprised when the doorbell rang at seven o’clock on the dot.
I was walking out of my room when I heard Mom answer the door.
“Hi, Viper,” she said. “How are you?”
“Hello, Ms. Larnex,” he said. “I am very well, thank you.”
I walked down the stairs and into the front room.
“Hey, Viper.”
He smiled at me. Even after the awkward conversation at lunch, his smile made me feel like I had been punched in the gut.
“Hey, Emma, are you ready?”
“Yeah.”
I got a thick jacket out of the hall closet.
“Bye, Mom, we’ll be back later.”
I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I passed by her.
“Okay,” she said, returning the kiss. “Have fun.”
“Bye, Ms. Larnex,” Viper said.
We walked out the door.
“Stay out of the cold,” she said as we started down the sidewalk.
We waved to let her know we’d heard her.
It was a nice night. There was a very light snowfall around us and the snow was piled less than a foot off the ground. It was quiet, though; usually the kids from the other houses were outside playing with each other. That day they weren’t anywhere to be found. The cold wind made the lumps on my back thump again. It didn’t hurt, but it was alarming.
“So what do you want to do?” Viper said when we got to the end of the block.
“I really don’t have anything in mind,” I said. “Do you?”
“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” he said.
“Oh?” I said, trying to keep the worry out of my voice. “Okay.”
The serious tone in his voice caught me off guard. I was concerned that he’d finally decided the deformities on my back were extremely strange and needed to be discussed.
He cleared his throat. “It’s about the Winter Dance.”
I smiled letting myself breathe again.
“Look, Viper,” I said. “I told you I’m not holding you to anything. That was just to help you out. You looked like you didn’t want to go with Emily and you seemed to be having a hard time saying no. I wasn’t planning to hold you to something I said, so I’m not expecting you to take me to it.”
I was surprised to see disappointment on his face. “So you really don’t want to go with me?”
My face started feeling hot even though the air around us was freezing. “That’s … that’s not the point,” I stammered. “The point is that you didn’t really ask me, so I’m not expecting you to stick to it. If there is someone else you want to ask to it, by all means, go ahead.”
“But what if I do want to go with you?” he said. He had a straight face so I figured he wasn’t joking.
“Well,” I said, “that’s different, I suppose.”
“I do want to take you to the dance.”
I saw that something flicker in his eyes again. If I hadn’t known better I would have thought I wasn’t really the one he was talking to. However, I couldn’t help that at those words my heart did a sort of back flip in my chest.
“You do?”
Viper smiled. “Yes, of course. I’ve been battling myself for a long time whether to ask you or not.”
I felt really light on my feet. I had to keep myself from attempting, and probably being very unsuccessful at, a pirouette.
“And which side won?”
He stopped walking and stepped right in front of me. His blue eyes pierced into mine.
“Emma, will you go to the Winter Dance with me?”
The biggest smile I had probably had in years formed on my face. “Yes, I will.”
He smiled. “Really? No take-backs.”
“Yes,” I said, starting to laugh.
His smile grew bigger and he laughed, too.
“Okay,” he said, taking my hand in his. We started walking again. “You won’t regret this. I’ll get you a corsage. I’ll take you to dinner before the dance. I will dance with you all night if you want me to. Let me know what color your dress is going to be so I can make sure the corsage and I match…”
He was so happy. I was so happy. I couldn’t believe how excited he was to go to the dance with me, of all people. He could have asked anyone he wanted and she would have said yes. If she already had a date I was positive she would ditch him to go with Viper instead. But he picked me. But the way he was talking you’d think I was the one who’d picked him out of a thousand guys—something I couldn’t understand since I was the one going to the dance with the cutest guy in the school.
If someone had told me that I would be walking down the street holding hands with Viper that morning, I would have said he was mad. But there I was, holding hands with one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen, as he went on about how I wasn’t going to regret going to the dance with him. It was nice. He could have worn a color that totally clashed with my dress. We could have spent the whole night standing around doing nothing; I’d still be happy. Viper picked me and I felt as if nothing in the entire world could take that away from me.
* * *
We walked into town and stood on the street corner.
“What are you up for?” Viper said.
I was cold and the thing I had on my mind was something hot to drink.
“How about we get some hot chocolate?”
“Sounds good to me,” he said. The tip of his nose was already pink. “Where would one go to get a good cup of hot chocolate around here?”
Every restaurant in town served hot chocolate during the winter, but only one place served the richest, sweetest, warmest hot chocolate you could find anywhere. That was Toffee&Tea, a small café off of a candy store. It specialized in teas, toffees, chocolates, cakes, and everything else that was sweet. It had its own taffy pulling machine in the back and they used their own recipe for making every flavor of taffy you could think of.
We walked across the street and turned the corner. You could smell the sweetness a block away from the store. Mrs. Baline, the owner of the shop, had a passion for what she did. She made sure she was known for having the largest selection of candy from all over the world. Viper perused the aisles of candy and fudge, amazed by just about everything he found. We walked into the café and had a seat at a table.
“Cool place,” Viper said, looking around.
He scanned the menu in front of him and looked rather intimidated. “I’ll take whatever you think is the best.”
I smiled. “I know just the thing.”
“Hey, kids, what’ll it be?” Mrs. Baline was next to our table, placing glasses of water in front of us. She was one of my favorite people. I had always imagined her to be the grandmother I never had. During winter Mom and I always went into the shop to get something hot to drink. Mrs. Baline gave us little baskets full of cakes, candies, and drink mixes during various holidays throughout the year.
“Hi, Mrs. Baline,” I said. “We’ll have two cups of white hot chocolate.”
“I’ll have that right out for you, Emma.”
“Thank you,” we said. She nodded and walked away.
“Sorry,” Viper said. “I choked.”