WindLegends Saga 9: WindRetriever (3 page)

"Why don't you listen to what the man has to say for once?" Balizar shouted. "You profess to be his followers yet you would have HIM be yours!"

Charlotte Boyett-Compo WINDRETRIEVER 12

"Arbra's right," Asher injected. "Are you not, as are the men of the Samiel, sworn to do as he bids?"

"When it doesn't endanger his life!" Holm shot back.

"Or when we think …," Thom began only to have his Overlord shout him down.

"You think?" Conar thundered. "You think? Since when have any of you men had an original thought not pumped into your head by Shalu Taborn?" He turned his angry glare to the Necroman. "Just because he is the oldest among you does not give him more wisdom than the next man!"

"More wisdom than you," Shalu muttered. He met the enraged stare of Conar McGregor with one of his own. "You've never known what was best for you, brat, and this nonsense about staying here proves it!"

"Let me make my own mistakes, will you?" Conar screamed at them. "I'm the one who will have to pay for them!"

The shout had been so loud, so virulent, all sound ceased in the room. Every eye was on the Serenian Prince. Every face in the room, save his own, showing the shock at the volume of his outburst. He had managed to gain their attention, and their worry, with that inhuman bellow of fury.

"How many more of you do you want me to have to be responsible for burying?" Conar asked, seeing several flinches and one or two scowls. "Isn't six enough?"

"Conar …," Chase started to say in a reasonable voice, but he, too, was shouted down.

"WILL YOU LET ME TALK?"

Catherine watched her husband, seeing the man the world knew as The Darkwind staring down his men. The power of that stare, the unquestionable command in those strange eyes, was enough to quell even the most stubborn of these men. Faces lowered, even as fists clenched, but no one would dare to interrupt him again. The room grew as quiet as the tomb.

"You men have not been where I have been," he finally said in a voice, though not his normal slow Serenian drawl, that was one that demanded the full attention of everyone in the room.

"You have not had to endure what I have endured. You have not lost anywhere near the loved ones I have."

Paegan lifted his head and looked at Conar. The young Viragonian Prince, feeling the loss of his brother, Rylan, keenly, was hurt further by what he thought a callous remark.

"You haven't, Paegan," Conar told him, intercepting the look. "And for the most part, none of you have had to deal with watching that loved one die right before your very eyes." He turned his gaze to Thom. "Not even you."

Catherine reached up to wipe away a tear that had crept unbidden down her cheek. She knew the men could hear the pain and desperation in her husband's voice the same as she could, but she could see no acknowledgement of that on their carefully blank faces. They were watching him as though he were a retarded child to be humored and their attitudes both bewildered and angered her. She found herself clutching her own fists in the confines of her skirt.

"Do any of you know how I felt to hold Hern Arbra in my arms, his blood dripping down my chest, and know I was the cause of him dying?" Conar asked.

"Hern interfered with a guard's duty," Thom protested. He cast a quick look to the dead man's twin brother, Balizar, and found that man glaring back at him.

"Because Hern wanted me to be able to rest," Conar reminded them. "If Hern hadn't wanted what was best for ME, he'd be alive today."

"You didn't cause his death," Sentian mumbled.

Charlotte Boyett-Compo WINDRETRIEVER 13

"Nadia?" Conar questioned. He looked at Kalli. "Did my daughter, Nadia, die because of some other man or was it because of me that Jaborn cut her throat? What of Rayle Loure? Who did he die trying to protect? And the six Elite hanged at Boreas?"

No one could answer that. Their very silence was assent enough.

"And Amber-lea?" Conar asked.

Chase's head came up. "She died in childbirth, Conar. The babe could just as well been Brelan's."

"But it wasn't, was it?" Conar asked. He held up his hand as others began to protest. "My father? My mother? Liza? Brelan? They all died because of me."

"Don't start this shit again," Shalu snapped. "You weren't to blame …."

"Storm came over here looking for me. Now, he's dead." He looked at Paegan. "Rylan's dead because he came here trying to find me." He shifted his gaze to Chase. "So is Grice and so is Roget and so is Tyne."

Shalu knew what was coming and looked away from the keen probe that had settled on his face. "Don't say it," he commanded.

"Why not?" Conar asked. "Can't you admit that the only man you have ever called 'friend'

is now lying in a wooden box ten thousand miles from his home because he had come to this godforsaken place to help his brother?"

"You want to accept the blame for their deaths?" Sentian shouted. "Fine! Accept it! No one seems able to keep you from doing so anyway!"

"I'm not blaming myself for what's happened, Senti," Conar told him. "I'm just admitting responsibility for it."

"Same difference," Holm mumbled.

"No it's not," Conar answered. "If I had put a blade to their throats," his voice broke, "as Jaborn did to Nadia's, then, aye, I would have been to blame because my actions took their lives.

But that wasn't the way of it. But I am responsible for their dying and it is for that reason that I will not allow any more of you to die or be hurt because of me."

"We are grown men," Chase reminded him. "We are responsible for our own actions. We don't hold you accountable for what happens to us."

Conar stared at the man, wishing with all his heart and soul that someone understood. As Sentian and Thom spoke up, he lost all hope of having anyone do that.

"We made a vow," Sentian reminded him, "that we would protect you with our lives. To do anything less than that would be dishonorable."

"Aye!" Thom growled. "No one held a blade to our throats to make us take that vow, Conar. We did so because we love you. We followed you to hell and we will do so again if you but ask it of us!"

"I don't mind dying," Paegan put in, "as long as the cause is just and I know Rylan felt the same way. If he had to die, at least he died in the company of the one man he respected most in this life. And if I know my brother, he did not blame you and probably said as much if he had had the time to do so."

"Brell thought of you as the brother he always wished he'd had," Chase spoke up. "When I was getting ready to sail for Rysalia, he came to me and told me to make sure nothing happened to you. Tyne loved you, Conar."

"As for Jah-Ma-El," Shalu said in a husky voice, "that man loved you more than any man alive. He always told me he was living on borrowed time, anyway, since the day you kept him from hanging. Knowing Jamie, he died with only one regret: that his passing in such a manner Charlotte Boyett-Compo WINDRETRIEVER 14

would hurt you, Conar."

"Don't any of you see what this is doing to him?" Sajin asked, standing up and glaring at the men. He pointed a finger at his friend. "Look at him! Look what you are doing to him!"

Catherine had been watching her husband closely as the men spoke. He was standing behind the chair in which he had been sitting and was gripping the back of it so hard the entire chair was quivering. His arms were rigid, his body taut. He was staring at the floor, pain and guilt blazing from his eyes and when the room grew still, he slowly looked up and the expression on his face was pitiful.

"You profess to love him," she heard Sajin haranguing the men. "Is this how you show him that love? By tormenting him? Can't you see what you are causing here?"

Sajin pushed past Shalu and walked to Conar's side. He faced the others. "He feels guilty enough as it is. Will you compound that guilt by remaining here against his wishes when he has expressly asked you to leave?"

"Our place is with him!" Sentian shouted.

"Your place is to do as your Overlord bids," Ching-Ching reminded them. "That was the vow you made at the time of the Convocation."

"Let's just say," Sajin hissed at them, "for argument's sake, that you force him to let you stay here to help in the fighting." He turned the heat of his glare on Chase. "Let's just say you get killed, Montyne." He switched his attention to Paegan. "Or you, Hesar? Who will bear the blame, then? YOU or him?"

"We would," Paegan snarled. "It is our decision to make, not his."

"No?" Sajin purred in a sneering tone. "Even when he has asked you to leave? Who do you think this man will blame?" He pointed at Shalu, then Sentian. "You? You?" He lowered his voice to a silky taunt. "Or will be blame himself for not being man enough to MAKE you do as he wanted?"

"The mark of a true military leader is to know when it is in the best interest of his men to run from a battle just as he knows when it is advantageous to engage in one," Catherine said quietly. The men glanced her way with looks of annoyance. "In my country, men who do not heed their commanding officers, are court-martialed." She looked at Yuri. "Then, they are hanged."

"I am sworn to protect your husband, Your Grace," Yuri defended. "To the death, am I so sworn."

"A position in which my husband does not want to place you, Andreanova," Catherine reminded the man. "Or any other of you gentlemen, either."

Conar looked at his wife. Her gaze met his and he saw her lips twitch in a plea for forgiveness for interrupting.

"Conar?" Ching-Ching asked, coming wearily to his feet. As Conar looked his way, the little Chrystallusian locked his eyes with the Serenian's. "What is it you want, milord?"

There was no hesitation. "I want you to go home."

"Without you," Chase stated in a hurt tone.

"Aye," Conar answered. "Without me."

"Are you making that an order, Your Grace?" Sentian growled, drawing his Overlord's attention to him.

"As surely as I am standing here, Heil," the Serenian Prince replied.

"Despite the fact that we do not wish to," Shalu snapped.

"He's your leader," Sajin reminded the men. "His word should be law."

Taborn spun around and fixed the Kensetti Prince with a murderous glare. "You stay out of Charlotte Boyett-Compo WINDRETRIEVER 15

this, pog! This does not concern you!"

"Yes, it does," Sajin replied. "I am of the Samiel, one with The Khamsin, and from now on, the men of the Samiel are his to do with as he bids." He glanced around him at Asher Stone and Balizar Arbra and Azalon Ben-Hasheed and Kharis El-Malick, who had just entered the room, and Rupine, the physician, and the half-dozen more who made up the Cadre of the Samiel. "We would not dare question his authority as our leader."

"And neither should you," Balizar put in.

Conar's wife sat with her hands clenched tightly in her lap, sensing the real contest of wills lay between her husband and the big black man who was glowering back at him as though he could turn Conar over his knee and beat some sense into him. She watched the older man's brown eyes glaze with fury, then flare with resolve as Conar's squared his shoulders and let go of the chair on which he had had such a death grip. The two men faced each other as enemies, but Catherine knew that was far from the way things stood between these two strong, powerful warriors.

"This is what you want?" Catherine heard the Necroman ask.

"Aye," Conar assured him. "It is. It is time the mother bird let the baby bird go. He's already left the nest. Why not see if he can fly with the eagles again?"

"And if he falls?" Shalu snapped.

"There will be hands to pick him up," Sajin answered.

"And hearts to love him just as much as the hearts of the Wind Force do," Asher added.

"And swords to protect his back from the enemies he fears will harm you," Balizar said.

Chase left his place beside Wyn and walked to his old friend. He put his hands on Conar's shoulders and shook his gently. "This is wrong, my friend. To send us away is wrong."

Conar held his friend's gaze for a long moment before speaking. When he finally did, everyone in the room could feel the pain in his words.

"Do you love me, Montyne?" he asked.

Tears gathered in Chase's blue eyes. "You know I do."

"Then if you love me, let me go. Let me be what I have to be. Let me do what I have to do.

Don't make me worry about you. I don't need that right now."

"I don't suppose it matters that we'll be worrying about you," Chase whispered. "That your safety is more important than our own."

Shalu spun around and shoved his way through the men gathered. Slamming the door behind him, his heavy footsteps echoed hollowly as he left the fortress. There was not a man there who did not know Taborn would not be returning.

"Go after him, Sentian," Conar ordered, tearing his gaze from Chase's. "You, too, Thom, Holm. I don't want him getting into trouble in Asaraba." He glanced at Kharis and the Venturian nodded before turning to go.

Sentian hesitated, wanting to deny the order, but Balizar put a beefy hand on the young man's shoulder and shook his head.

"Don't give him any more grief, Heil. That's the last thing the boy needs," Arbra challenged. "All this is hard enough on him."

Sentian risked a glance at his Overlord, found Conar looking back at him with every expectation of having his order carried out. Heil clenched his jaw and left, Thom and Holm at his heels, knowing it would do no good to try to reason with the Dark Overlord of the Wind.

"Are you going to order me and Chase around like that, too?" Paegan growled, wanting nothing more than to knock Conar down, chain him and drag him, kicking and screaming if need be, to the hold of the Anne Katrine.