Willow (14 page)

Haven put one hand on the railing and jumped over it effortlessly. His golden brown hair ruffled in the breeze and his liquid indigo eyes flared.

“No, I want you here,” he insisted. He raised his hand and ever so gently brushed my skin with his finger, sweeping a single lash from my face.

“You think you’re delicate but you’re not,” he stated. “There is a mystery about you that is very intriguing.”

He blew the lash away and for a moment his frosty breath mingled with mine until little by little our commingled vapor evaporated into thin air.

“That’s only because you don’t really know me and I can assure you, there isn’t much to tell,” I retorted.

I attempted to maneuver past him but he raised his left arm and caught me around the waist. His grip was strong but lacking force.

“I want you to hear it from me, it
should
come from me but I know if I tell you everything there is a chance I’ll drive you away forever.”

“You had plenty of chances to explain,” I accused. “If that night had not happened I would have said it was none of my business, but I believe it is my business since I was involved. You know where I am, you could have come by anytime.”

“You don’t understand. There are…obstacles.”

“What do you mean by obstacles?”

“I mean that we’re different and I have a past you won’t like.” He released his hold around my waist.

“I’m not that different from anyone else,” I argued. “People are very much the same.”

“Not in our world,” Haven countered.

Vexed, I began to put the pieces together but there were still many that were missing. Haven noticed my concern and he leaned down just enough that I could feel the coolness of his breath caress my face and as it did, his breath swirled up just enough fervor that my pulse began to race. Between the two of us there was something animalistic at the core and I was only inflamed when he was near.

“Our world?” I asked. “But I’m not a part of your world.” I moved away from him so his woodsy, masculine scent wouldn’t distract me.

He put his hand in one of his pockets and looked down, seeming completely bored with my interrogation.

“Oh but you are...”

Sensing his reluctance to expound on the matter I began to feel increasingly irritated.

“Look, if you don’t want to talk about it just say so, but short answers that beg for more answers are not answers at all.”

He grinned at me and placed his hand on the hollow of my back and stroked it as if to calm me. I knew he was distracting me but his touch was warming me up inside and I shifted enough that his fingertips remained but smoothed across my side as I turned. I brought my hand up to my neck and inched back until I was just out of reach. He was dangerous in close quarters and I couldn’t allow my thoughts to go places they shouldn’t. I had to steer clear. I had to remain in control.

After glancing towards the house I said, “Lacey was telling me about Philip and Lauren. Why haven’t Philip and Levi aged?”

Haven let out a deep throaty chuckle, “They do. They just age slower. They aren’t immortal if that’s what you think.”

I opened my mouth to object and thought otherwise. “All of this is preposterous.”

Haven smiled down at me and like before, when we were in the park, he took me by surprise. He lifted me and sat me down on the railing and placed both his hands on either side of me. I braced myself by holding onto a beam. We were equally matched in height and looked at each other eye to eye.

“She left him,” he whispered. “Lauren loved him too much to subject him to watching her age at a rate that was much more accelerated than his.”

“But she’s here...they’re together.”

“They weren’t for many years,” he said. “She lived a life without him but neither one of them could turn off their feelings, even with so much time and distance between them. The more they were apart, and the more they weren’t allowed to be together, the more they loved each other.”

I glanced over my shoulder and looked at the large house behind me. The two that had been made to live apart were now living together. They had endured painful years of separation and I knew very well that suffering intensifies everything, but instead of driving them apart, it kept them together.

“Do they feel robbed?” I asked.

Haven stood up and away from me. He turned around and leaned against the railing. We were now side by side. I looked at him as the breeze lifted his hair and his eyes gazed into the distance.

“Lauren married but never had children. Philip would disappear at times and we always knew where he was because he was following her, even if he never let her know it. It was enough, he said, just to catch a glimpse of her every now and then. When her husband died Levi couldn’t stand to see her alone so he took her in with the explanation that it was their last chance to be together and that he needed her and would take care of her. She’s been with us for the last few years and having her here has been a source of pain and pleasure where Philip is concerned. He’s not been without physical comfort but she was his chosen one, his
only
one. He will never find another love like theirs.”

I looked from Haven’s profile to my jeans. I felt guilty for spending so much time lost in my own pain that I forgot I wasn’t the only one who suffered.

“I can’t imagine what that must be like to know who and what you want in life and to have it denied or kept from you.”

I sighed, suddenly feeling the burden of other people’s pain.

“What about Levi?” I asked. With his youthful good looks it was hard to picture him as old as he was.

Haven’s hand made its way to my wind swept tresses and he felt the length of one.

“This is where it gets intense,” Haven said. “Their clan was one of just a few in North America. The largest and most powerful clans originated from the European and Asia continents. In fights for territories and leadership, a couple of clans were wiped out, and there are always the others to contend with although they are fewer in number.”

I somehow knew where this was heading…

“Levi and Philip’s clan, comprised of several packs, were annihilated. Philip would have been killed too but he was saved only because it took place while he was on one of his visits to look in on Lauren, who lived in another state. Levi joined up with the Russian clan but was with them briefly. He ended up having an affair with the alpha’s mate and she became pregnant.”

Haven grew agitated as he spoke.

“She told Levi he had to take the baby girl and leave the area. She told her husband the baby had died. She became pregnant soon after, this time with a son. Levi and I came here, to Crested Butte. A few years later Philip joined us and together we helped to raise Lacey.”

“Does Lacey know who her mother is?” I prodded.

“She does.”

Haven’s expression was one of concealed sadness.

“Imagine being privy to the sickness of the world and having to live with it longer than others do. People, even us, self-destruct because we keep repeating the same behaviors over and over again. There’s no freedom in that kind of longevity.”

“What about you?” I asked.

There was so much to wonder about him, where he came from, if he still had family and just how old he was. The hollow of his cheeks drew in as if I had hit a nerve.

“That’s probably none of my business but since we were being so open with other people’s business, I thought it would be okay to ask.”

“You feel self-conscious about asking,” he noted. “Don’t be. You can be honest with me. It’s not my business you’re worried about, you’re worried about my opinion of you for asking what you’re thinking, just as you’re worried about offending me.”

I shivered as the cold was all encompassing, not just from being outdoors, but from being read as well. Haven had a way of seeing through me. It was as unnerving as it was bonding and I couldn’t figure out how the two could co-exist. I looked down at the ground and reached up to touch my lip.

“You’re thinking too much,” he pointed out. He was watching me and seemed to be enjoying himself as I grew agitated. My eyes widened at being read so thoroughly. I pushed him away with my boot and was ready to jump down when he blocked my escape. I felt cornered and something inside me was itching to break free. I unclenched my fists and dug into the railing with my fingernails.“Feeling feisty are you?” Haven asked with admiration. “The possibilities are endless.”

He leaned in for what I thought was going to be a kiss on the mouth. I felt myself lean back. His lips moved lightly across my cheek and I felt him as he breathed in my scent.

“You’re in my personal space,” I accused. I could feel him chuckle and he pulled back.

“You smell good,” he crooned. “Just like....”

The way I stiffened interrupted him and tension broke through the stillness. I opened my eyes and pushed him away. Once he was clear I jumped off the railing.

Embarrassed and feeling bewitched I couldn’t even look at him. I didn’t know him that well, for all I knew he could be using the same moves on scores of other girls and worse, he could have been doing it for years. I would never allow myself to be used or seen as just another number. I saw Haven take a step towards me.

“Come here,” he beckoned.

“No,” I spat and I lit off towards the house.

Small patches of snow and dried weeds crackled under the heels of my black boots. Seething, I felt like a fool. Tears burned behind my eyes and I wanted to get away. I didn’t want to go into the house; I didn’t want to see any of them. I just wanted normalcy. I stalked around the house and looked behind me but no one was there. Satisfied, I turned my head and caught his scent borne on a swift gust of air. And there he was. His eyes flickered with fury and his lips were pursed. We stood there in united silence but I felt more of a threat than I ever had before.

“Is there something you want?” I asked sarcastically. I crossed my arms in false bravado and stuck my chin out defiantly and when I did I thought I saw a glimmer in his eye.

“No more cat-and-mouse,” he spat. “You came here for a reason. You feel it just as much as I do.”

I knew how he would respond but I couldn’t keep from saying it.

“Feel what?”

Nothing prepared me for his outburst. I’ve heard of explosive tempers but he looked like he was going to detonate. In the few seconds that it took to happen, everything about him changed as if he were going to morph into something else. My eyes tried to register what was happening and then it stopped. The moment had passed. It was then that I noticed Lauren on the porch, followed by everyone else. Lauren looked sympathetically from Haven to me but Haven only had eyes for me. His gaze was full of ire.

“You made your point,” I snapped, but nothing could hide the alarm I felt.

“The point is Willow, you live in fear; fear of what others think; fear of going after what you want; fear of being close to someone, and fear of yourself.”

I wanted him to stop. I averted my face so all he could see was my hair. He had seen enough of
me
.

“Maybe you should turn that all-knowing vision on yourself,” I suggested angrily.

“Oh, I know what I am, and I also know what I want. Do you?”

I couldn’t answer. I didn’t know.

“If you would just stop running away from everyone you might be able to figure that out.”

He had seen me again. I wanted to slap him for that. It wasn’t his fault I was so transparent. It was mine. I knew that in my anger I was projecting. I wanted to leave but my feet wouldn’t budge. I knew he was waiting for a response but I couldn’t give one. I couldn’t even look at him. I looked up at the porch and saw Lauren still standing there. She looked at me and I felt nothing but compassion radiate from her lovely features.

“Haven, why don’t you both come inside,” Lauren implored. “You don’t want to scare her.”

Turning to me Lauren pleaded, “Willow, please come inside.”

I kept standing there, not knowing what to do.

“Lauren,” Haven insisted. “Leave us be.”

Lauren checked with me and when I didn’t object, she turned and ushered everyone inside. Before she closed the door she said to Haven, “She needs to know.”

We stayed as we were, both motionless and waiting for the other one to speak. I felt the sudden desire to laugh, but when I saw the intense way he was glaring at me I suppressed it. His stare unnerved me, as it always did.

“Go to hell,” I muttered.

I didn’t have time to apologize. Haven reached me in a second and picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

“Then I’m taking you with me!”

He carried me past the porch as I struggled to be set free. Satisfied that I was done with my outburst he set me down on a bench and knelt down next to me.

His voice broke through the stillness. “My mother was Grace Elizabeth and my father was Franklin Albert Cole. My parents are no longer living. I grew up with
the
clan and was the lover of someone I shouldn’t have been with. She gave me a terrible task, one I couldn’t do, so I left and started a new life here.”

Haven’s eyes softened and he looked from my face to what he envisioned in his memories. I rubbed my temple as if to temper the beginning of a headache. Haven picked the dried remains of a flower from the bed next to us. He turned the stem over in his fingers and looked past me into the thick of the forest.

“You know but you can’t accept it,” he said. His face didn’t register any emotion. It was as if the sheer intensity of all those feelings had rendered him numb.

“What happened to your parents?” I finally managed to ask.

Haven’s eyes revealed a flicker of emotion.

“The pack was poisoned...by the others.”

“The others?” I asked.

“Their hearts don’t beat,” He filled in.

Haven raised his eyebrow and looked up at me and tried to read my reaction to what he was saying. An understanding passed between us. I knew who he was now. I sighed lightly and dropped my eyes.

“You’re not giving me real answers,” I said.