Wild Horses (9 page)

“Me? I don't know much about fixing machines. Or training horses.”

“It's something else.” He'd had the idea in the back of his mind ever since he'd learned that she was a plant biologist. “I need your help coming up with a management plan for my pastures.”

“That's probably not a good idea. I mean, I really appreciate you being here today, but...” Her words trailed off. She didn't look at him when she spoke, so he couldn't read her expression, but her shoulders were up, her jaw was tight.

He should leave her alone. But he couldn't. Maybe there was nothing in the future for them, but he wanted a chance to correct the past, to prove that he was a good guy, different than the one who'd left her the moment he'd had his diploma in hand.

Plus, he truly needed help that only she could give. “When I bought my land the pastures were already pretty trashed. There'd been no care taken, no management. And now with the drought, I'll be living in my own personal dust bowl soon. I was hoping that you could just take a look? Give me advice on what to do?”

She didn't answer, so he played his trump card. “I'd pay, of course.” He knew she needed money for the ranch. It was evident in every dilapidated shed, every leaning fence post, every piece of junk that would need to be hauled away. Revitalizing the Hoffman ranch wouldn't come cheap.

She was silent for a moment and then she turned to face him, her expression neutral, as if they were two colleagues and nothing more. “What are your goals for the land?”

He was right. She wanted to help her brother and she needed money to do it. “Well, ideally I'd love more forage...but I don't know what's possible. I know I want to preserve native plants, too, and maybe fence off sensitive areas to help with that.”

“We can't improve your grazing capacity much until we get more rain.” She glanced again at the gray peaks as if hoping to see the weather predicted in their crevices. “But I could help you with maintaining your native species. We might even establish more natives, especially if we could provide some water for young plants.”

“That would be great.” Relief, for his land, for himself, flowed through him.

“I should warn you, I don't come cheap.
If
I agree to do this, I'll charge you my government overtime rate.”

He grinned at her tough negotiation. He'd expect no less from her. “That's fine. But
I
should warn
you
, I have a lot of acres. This is a big project.”

“Moneybags,” she murmured, and although her tone was teasing he could hear the echo of their old conflicts in that one word.

“Listen, I know I have a long list of things to apologize for. But I'll start with being insensitive about your job. I was judgmental and rude. I'm sorry.”

“Thanks.” She smiled wanly and he wanted to see it grow into the warm laugh he'd lain awake thinking about last night. It didn't happen. She kept it all business. “You know I'd only be able to work weekends, and not even the full day because I'll need to help Wade sometimes.”

“Understood.”

“Okay, then,” she said.

“Are you free this Saturday?” He shouldn't push—he'd already gotten further than he'd expected.

“Let me check with Wade first, to make sure he's okay with it. I'll call you. On my new phone.”

He winced at the reference. “I'm—” he started, but she cut him off.

“Sorry. Yes, I know.” She glanced up at him from under the brim of her hat. “But how about this? How about you just stop doing the stuff that requires an apology?”

“I'll do my best,” he assured her. “But around you, Nora, I just can't seem to get it right.”

CHAPTER TEN

T
HE
FIRST
THING
Nora noticed, pulling into Todd's driveway, was its tidiness. Sure, the fence posts that ran along the side of the drive were weathered, but they were set in straight. Their wire was intact, not coiled into wild, dangerous fronds like the wire at her ranch. And the driveway was graded, not pocked by treacherous potholes. Todd had worked hard on his land and it showed.

Nora parked in front of the house and grabbed the folder she'd brought with her. She climbed the white-painted porch that housed a couple comfortable-looking rockers. There was no answer to her knock, so she went back down the steps and headed toward the barn.

She peeked inside the dusky entrance but it was quiet. A few birds flitted around the rafters, and against one wall hay bales were stacked neatly. She inhaled the earthy smell of the hay for a moment. Such a peaceful scent—it helped calm her twanging nerves. Then she made her way along the side of the barn toward several small corrals. And in the one of them was Todd.

He was working with a big chocolate-colored horse with a striking white blaze running down its nose. Nora could see the animal blowing and pawing. It was nervous and she stepped back out of sight, into the shadows by the corner of the barn, so as not to disturb them. Maybe this horse was one of Todd's latest acquisitions, fresh from the wild.

She felt a little silly hiding, but this was also a chance to watch Todd at work. Back when they'd been together in college, he'd told her that he'd never even been on a horse. And now here he was, a horse trainer, so totally different than the boy she'd known.

The horse was loose in the corral and it seemed as if Todd was trying to get it used to being near humans. He took slow steps toward the huge animal, hands low and palms visible. He murmured to it in a quiet voice. Nora was too far away to hear what he said, but the horse seemed to find it interesting. Its ears were pricked forward and it had stopped pawing at the dust.

The horse was beautiful, but it was Todd who mesmerized her. He was a big guy, yet despite his wide shoulders and height, he moved with a stillness and grace that was new to her. Everything about him emanated a gentle strength, a trustworthy and soothing aura.

But she didn't feel soothed. His white T-shirt, tight against the muscles of his back, and his jeans, tapering from his narrow waist and hugging his butt, drew her eyes back again and again. She was ogling him like a silly teenager, except she'd never really been a silly teenager. She'd skipped that era to grow up fast and take care of herself and her brother. Maybe having Todd in town was triggering some kind of delayed adolescence. Even when she'd first fallen for him, when a friend had introduced them on a pathway between classes at UC Berkeley, she hadn't felt this kind of aching desire.

The horse snorted and reared a little, startling her, sending a quick stab of fear for Todd's safety and jolting her back to reality. Todd took a slow step back to give it some space. Then, when the horse had calmed, he moved slowly, steadily toward it again. This time it didn't balk and he placed a slow-motion hand gently on its withers. The brown horse shivered at the contact but stayed still, listening to Todd's quiet voice.

Man and mustang stood like that for what felt like an age but was probably only a few minutes. It was the perfect tableau and Nora wanted to memorize it—the horse, relaxed now with its head low, Todd so calm, with one hand on its back, his cowboy hat tilted down to block the rays of the lowering sun. It was so hard to believe this beautiful horseman was the boy she'd loved.

He slowly took his hand off the mustang and walked around in front of it to open the gate that led to the larger pasture. A few more quiet words and the horse walked leisurely through and started nibbling on the grass on the other side. It didn't flee from Todd the first chance it had—it was starting to accept him. Nora let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding.

Todd closed the gate, a soft smile on his face, and then turned to cross the corral, heading in her direction. She stepped out from the shadows and his smile grew when he spotted her.

“Hey!” He lifted a hand in greeting and she walked over to meet him at the fence, trying to be unimpressed by the lithe and easy way he scaled it and dropped down to the ground next to her.

“What brings you here?” he asked.

“I came to talk about working for you.” She resisted the urge to wipe away a streak of dust smeared across his cheekbone.

“So you'll do it?” His wide grin revealed his white even teeth and a dimple on the side. She'd forgotten those details about him. Maybe out of self-preservation.

“Yes, I will. As long as it doesn't get weird between us.”

He laughed. “It won't get weird, I promise. I'll give you your space. I won't hover or anything like that.”

Like she'd been hovering just now. And would probably hover again, given half a chance to see him charm another horse. “Okay, then. I wrote up a contract.”

“Of course you did.”

He did know her well. “It goes over my rates and outlines what I'm planning to do.”

“Always organized.” He took the file from her. “I'll take a look at it tonight, but I'm sure it'll be fine. Can you start tomorrow?”

“Um, sure.” Nora stepped back, just to put a little more distance between them. It was hard to concentrate with him so near.

“These first pastures are full of unbroken horses. But if you go out my driveway and take a right, you'll find a dirt road near an old snag. It will take you alongside the fields that are the biggest mess.”

“I'll take a look first thing tomorrow.”

“Sounds great. How about we meet here at one and you can let me know what you found?”

“Sure.” She turned to go, then paused, looking back over her shoulder. “You were amazing with that horse, by the way.”

“Thanks. He's gonna be a good one.”

“See you tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it.”

It was those green eyes, so intense when they fixed on her, that had her stumbling back to her car, her legs shaking more than the half-wild mustang's had. This was ridiculous. Maybe she should add another clause to the contract before he signed it. A requirement that, if they were going to work together, Todd would have to forgo any long, meaningful looks. And he'd have to guarantee that he would never break her heart ever again.

* * *

“T
ODD
,
ARE
YOU
under there?” Two long denim legs ending in battered brown work boots extended out from under a small tractor that had once been blue but now was speckled with rust.

Nora glanced at her watch. It was one o'clock—she was right on time for their meeting.

“Yup. Hang on, I just need to get this bolt on all the way. How'd it go out in those fields?”

“You've got a mullein problem.”

“A what?” Todd slid from underneath the decrepit machine, bringing a small cloud of dust with him. He stood up, brushed off the seat of his jeans and yanked down the hem of his ancient Pearl Jam T-shirt. With his hair mussed and grease streaked across the muscles of his arm, he looked a little wild.

Nora tried hard not to stare at the tendons in his wrists, the small cut on his right pinky, the way it all fit together in such a compelling picture. She'd fallen in love with a college guy who was nerdy, skinny and safe—and he'd become this. Masculine, capable and totally gorgeous. The kind of guy who'd never have been interested in serious, studious Nora Hoffman. The kind of guy she did her best to avoid.

Science, Hoffman. Focus on the science.
“Mullein? It's a fuzzy plant that grows up into a tall stalk of yellow flowers?”

He grabbed a rag off the tractor and started wiping his hands. “I'd wondered what that stuff was.”

“Well, it's mullein. And it loves your pastures so much that it's taking over.” She looked out toward the mullein-mottled acres. Anywhere but at his fingers, long and strong, appearing and disappearing in the stained cotton cloth.

“But that plant grows everywhere around here. Why do I have a problem?”

“It's choking out a lot of the native grasses down by your wash. And southeast of that, you're actually losing huge chunks of your grazing land to it. It doesn't look as if you're using that area, but if you plan to anytime soon, you need to get the mullein out of there.”

“Can we head down there now? Go take a look at it together?”

Truth be told, she didn't want to go through the pastures with him. Or anywhere with him. After watching Todd with that horse last night, she'd realized that spending too much time with him was dangerous.

“It's okay. I can grab a few tools and start clearing it,” she assured him.

“I'll help you.”

“No, you're busy.”
And way too good-looking.
“I can get started on it while you work on fixing that thing.” She motioned to the dissected tractor.

“That
thing
can wait.”

She was running out of excuses, so she tried a different tack. “Well, there are a lot of plants. Maybe it would be best if you hired some local kids to do it? I'm sure they'd be happy to earn the money. You just have to make sure they get down to the root or it will resprout.”

“Look. Why don't you show me what to do, so I know for future reference? I want to learn about this stuff. Then I'll figure out if I need to hire anyone.”

She was out of ideas. She'd just have to remember that whatever attraction she felt was totally meaningless. Old feelings mixed with his new hotness. That was all. “Fine. We'll need some hoes. Gardening clippers, as well. And a bunch of garbage bags. Where do you keep your tools?”

“Over there. But there's a problem.” He smiled a little sheepishly. “I don't actually own a hoe. Or clippers.”

It was a perfect excuse to leave. “Well, no worries. The mullein isn't going anywhere. I'm sure we have a couple of tools over at our place that I can bring next time. They'll be rusty, and most likely stolen, but if you don't mind that...”

He laughed. “I'll tell you what. I'm going to need my own tools if my mullein problem is as big as you say. Let's just go to the hardware store and grab what we need. Then you can show me your mullein management techniques.”

She was officially out of excuses. “Okay.” She hated the way being around him made her light-headed and unsettled. Plus she really did have a million things to do. But none of them would pay her, and Todd would. And since Wade had just found a whole bunch of dry rot in the barn, the getting-paid part was critical.

Todd led the way to his pickup and opened the door for her. She was startled—the college kid Todd would never have opened a door like that. It was kind of nice. She gave him a quick smile and slid into the passenger seat.

He started up the engine and headed down the drive.

“So how many acres do you have exactly?” she asked.

“A couple hundred. It's not huge. But I border an enormous chunk of land that no one's using. So there's just miles of nothing out there.”

“And you like that. Miles of nothing.”

He glanced her way with a slightly self-conscious smile. “I do. Very much. I want to buy that empty land as soon as I can afford it. Turn the whole thing into a wild horse sanctuary. For the mustangs who are just too wild to be adopted out.”

She stared at him. “That's an amazing idea. And it would be a
legal
solution.”

He shot her a chagrined smile. “Yup. But I can't afford it yet. So until then I just hope no one else gets their hands on the land.”

“I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.” And she meant it. It was a great idea.

She watched him as he drove. He knew what he wanted—he saw his future so clearly. And his clarity made her own plans so obviously muddy. She'd been getting by, going job to job, trying to make life okay for her brother. What did
she
want?

He noticed her scrutiny. “What's up?”

“I'm just trying to get used to you. Out here, surrounded by your empty acres.”

He laughed. “I guess I'm not really a city guy. I want wilderness around me. I want space to explore, hike and lose myself a little, you know?”

“I think so,” Nora answered. “I usually spend the entire day alone when I'm working, and it makes me aware of everything. Tiny changes in the temperature or the wind. The position of the sun. The smell of the different plants. And when a hawk shows up overhead, or a lizard pops out from under a rock, I feel as though I have plenty of company.”

They'd reached the end of the driveway, where Todd should've turned right onto the road that led into town. But he stopped and looked at her instead.

“What?” Why had she blurted all that out? Maybe she'd been spending
too
much time alone in the desert.

His fingers drummed the steering wheel gently. “You. I forgot the way you understand me. You just explained exactly what I was trying to say. But way better.”

She'd never forgotten the way they'd both loved wild places. The fact that he
had
forgotten was a little sad. Or maybe the way she remembered it so clearly was the sad part.

He shook his head slightly. “Spooky,” he said softly and then turned onto the main road. Nora stared out the window, racking her brain for something else to say. Something that would distract her from his close proximity. During the drives they'd taken in college, he'd rest his hand on her thigh or hold her hand. It was years ago. Why couldn't she let go of it? Was it her fate, or her curse, to always want the man who had walked away so easily? Who barely remembered the magic that had been between them?