Wiccan, A Witchy Young Adult Paranormal Romance (18 page)

“
So talk so I can close the
window. Bugs are coming in.”

“
Don’t you want to come
outside?”

“
No. What I want is to go to
bed.”

“
Alright,” he said
patiently, obviously trying not to let my snappishness deter him.
“There’s a band that one of the TKE brothers is in that’s doing a
Sunday night jam session and I thought you might like to
go.”

Oddly, my interest was piqued. I’d been
a music lover since, like, birth. “What kind of music do they
play?”

“
They cover classic rock.
Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Def Leppard, stuff like
that.”

“
Hmm,” I said, really
considering his offer. I couldn’t deny that I’d like to go. And it
wasn’t the band that was the problem; it was the guy. If it was
Grayson doing the asking, I’d have said yes in a heartbeat. But,
alas, it wasn’t. “I don’t think so, Jake. I mean, it sounds great
and all, but you and I- I think we’re—”

“
Whatever you’re gonna say,
let me just tell you this first,” he interjected before I could
finish. “I can’t quit thinking about you. I don’t know what it is
about you, but after that second day I saw you, I just can’t get
you off my mind.”

I couldn’t help the frown that I felt
puckering my brow. I thought back to the second time I’d seen him,
the day I’d so wished he’d walk me to school. And he had. I racked
my brain for what else I might’ve been thinking, but nothing came
to mind. Had I hexed him or brainwashed him or something? Could my
earlier desire for him to want me somehow have infected him? And,
worse yet, could that have anything to do with Grayson’s attention,
his pursuit of me (if that’s really what it was)?

That dark thought pierced my chest like
big, rusty hooks that dug in deep and wouldn’t let go. It felt like
my heart was being dragged out of my body through my
toes.

“
Mercy?”

I’d been staring through Jake, not
really at him. But when he said my name, I focused on his face.
“Sorry,” I said, shaking my head to clear it. “You know, Jake, it’s
really nice of you to offer, but I just don’t think it’s a good
idea. I—”

“
Give me another chance,
Mercy. I know I sort of blew it with that whole party thing, but I
really like you. I mean, I just can’t get you out of my
head.”

The look on his face made me feel a
little sorry for the guy. I didn’t doubt that he couldn’t get me
out of his head and he was obviously perplexed by the phenomenon.
To think about somebody all the time, to want them and want to be
with them and not be able to was a special kind of torture. If I
wasn’t experiencing a little bit of the same thing with Grayson
lately, I might’ve thought it was funny. Much deserved,
even.

Concentrating as hard as I could, I
thought about how very much I wished Jake would move on and find
someone else to pour his attention on. I searched my mind for just
the right someone and a face popped into my head. It was the face
of the girl that had been in the coffee line in front of me at
Ruger’s, the one that had attacked Trinity. She’d no doubt give
Jake a run for his money if they hooked up.

I concentrated on the two of
them. If this worked, maybe it’d bring a spot of brightness
to
both
their
lives. After what I think I’d done to her, she deserved a bit of
happiness.

“
You’ve got to go, Jake.
You’ll feel better tomorrow. Just go home and sleep it off. You’ve
had a tough week.” With that, I reached up to pull the window down
and snap the lock in place. I watched as Jake turned around and
walked off down the road. I guess he’d parked somewhere else, as I
didn’t see any strange vehicles nearby.

After Jake had disappeared from sight,
I was pulling the cord to lower the blinds when I got the feeling
again that someone was watching me. I searched the pools of light
on the pavement from the street lamps, but they were empty. As for
the shadows, they could’ve been crawling with all sorts of things
for all I knew. I could see very little inside them.

I let the blinds fall shut and walked
over to cut my bedside lamp off. I’d save my reading for another
night. It gave me the creeps to think that someone was out there
watching me, that if they looked closely enough, they might be able
to see in through a tiny crack or something.

Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I
thought of my relationship with Grayson and when exactly his
attentions had turned in a seemingly romantic direction. The only
time I could remember really thinking something specific that
might’ve swayed him was the day he’d stopped by the house and
looked me over when I got in his car. I’d really wanted him to kiss
me, but rather than giving in, he’d just frowned and looked
away.

What that meant I don’t know, but it
didn’t help me to sleep any better, that’s for sure.

********

The next day, I got up and went to
church with Mom and Dad, which always made me feel better. Even
though it was ridiculous, it felt like the simple act of attending
somehow made me a better person. Strangely, I’d never really
questioned the type of person I was until recently. I felt like I
was being slowly invaded by something else, something dark and
unfamiliar, something angry and dangerous.

Grayson called in the afternoon to tell
me he’d meet me at the park around seven for our coffee re-date. My
outlook on life improved instantly at the mere prospect of spending
time with him.

The closer the hour drew to 7:00, the
larger and more putrid that seed of doubt about his motives became,
though. By the time I was pulling out of the driveway to meet him,
I had decided I was just going to have to swallow my pride and
break down and ask him. And that was not something that I looked
forward to.

Much as it had happened the last time
we’d tried it, Grayson was already there. He rolled down his window
and told me to get in, which I did. As soon as we were on our way,
I closed my eyes and inhaled. The air smelled like him plus
cinnamon, a scent I’d really come to enjoy.

Once we’d arrived back at the park, he
sprung a surprise and suggested something different. “Come on,” he
said as he got out of the car.

Following his lead, I grabbed my coffee
and hopped out. He’d already made it to my side so he shut the door
for me and put his hand on my low back to guide me out across the
grass.

There was a swing set at the edge of
some trees. It was secluded and deserted, as was the rest of the
park. He held the chains of one swing still so I could sit and then
he sat down in the one next to it. I turned slightly sideways in
the rubbery cradle so I could sort of face him. He was holding his
coffee in one hand, gripping the chain with the other and staring
at the sun where it burned low in the sky just over the
trees.

The reddish glow made his dark skin
look warm and rosy, almost bronzy. It glinted off his short black
hair making it look wet in the light. The two halves of his thick
lashes nearly met where he squinted against the brightness. But it
was his body language that gave me an ominous feeling, like he was
going to say something I wouldn’t like.

Urgency to be the one to start what I
dreaded was going to be a tough and heartbreaking conversation
prompted me to speak first. “Grayson, what’s going on here? With
us? Between us?”

He didn’t answer right away, just
stared into the sun. When finally he glanced my way, our eyes met.
Something glimmered in the hazel depths that I couldn’t
decipher.

“
I don’t know.”

That didn’t help and it certainly
didn’t make me feel any better.

“
Do you,” I began then
paused to swallow. “Do you have feelings for me?”

He watched me as he considered my
question. “Yes.”

That was a plus. “Then why do I feel
like- why do I question—”

He interrupted my stammer, evidently in
tune with my train of thought. “I don’t know. Something is…off, but
I don’t know what it is.”

“
So what does that mean? I
mean, where does that leave us?”

“
That’s the problem. It’s
complicated. I don’t know how I feel. I know that we shouldn’t be
having any kind of personal relationship, but—” He stopped and
looked back into the sun. My heart was on the verge of sinking into
my toes until he’d said “but”, which caused it to pull up from its
nose dive.

When he didn’t finish, I prompted him.
I was on pins and needles. “But what?”

He closed his eyes before he spoke. “I
just can’t seem to get you out of my mind.”

And with that, in an explosion of
burning hot shrapnel, he blew all my dreams about us to
smithereens.

It was just like with Jake.
I’d apparently done something, however inadvertently, to trigger
these feelings in him. The feelings weren’t real at all; they
weren’t even
his feelings.
They were mine, reflected back at me like a cold,
empty mirror.

Swallowing back the lump in my throat
and blinking away the tears that suddenly threatened at the back of
my eyes, I took a deep breath and said what was killing me inside.
“Maybe we should stop seeing each other this way until you can
figure out what this is,” I said, indicating the two of us. “What
we are.”

His eyes left mine as he looked out
over my shoulder, into the trees. Then, nodding slowly several
times, Grayson stood. He drained his coffee cup and pitched it into
the trash can and then he came to stand in front of me.

Looking down at me, he held out his
hand. My eyes darted from his eyes to his hand and back again
before I slipped my fingers inside his and pushed myself to my
feet.

Feeling down and rejected, I pulled my
hand from his. He let it go quickly, but before I could turn to go,
his hands were cupping my face and his lips were on
mine.

He stepped closer, bringing his lean,
hard body into contact with my softer one from chest to belly. His
tongue slid between my lips and they parted willingly, eagerly, for
him.

As he plundered my mouth, one hand slid
into my hair while the other moved down to my waist. He wrapped his
arm around me and pulled me in to him even tighter. The heat that
radiated from his body seemed to permeate my skin, setting my
insides on fire.

I was as surprised by his passion as I
was lost to it. My mind was completely devoid of thought of any
kind; I only felt. All my senses seemed to be tightly focused on
Grayson.

When he pulled away, I was actually
lightheaded. I think I might’ve forgotten to breathe while he was
kissing me. It was so unexpected, yet so incredibly welcome that I
was swept away by it.

The glittering eyes that gazed down on
me didn’t look like cold, empty reflections of what I was feeling,
but I couldn’t trust what I thought I saw. I didn’t know how I’d
ever know if what he was feeling was genuine and the weight of
that, the hopelessness of it, was devastating.

He inhaled and blew the air out through
pursed lips. “You’d better get out of here,” he said, brushing the
backs of his fingers across my cheek. “Before I change my mind and
can’t let you go.”

It took every ounce of strength I had
to turn and walk away, but I did. With every step I took that
carried me farther away from him, my heart tore just a little bit
more. By the time I slid behind the wheel of the Jeep, my chin was
trembling and my chest was aching.

I started the engine, backed out of the
lot and shifted into drive. I paused for a second before pulling
away. I could feel Grayson’s energy tugging at me like so many
invisible strings. I resisted the urge to look his way, squeezing
my eyes shut and praying for our feelings to go away. When I opened
them, I felt no relief. I still felt like I was dying inside. But
with a sob that echoed in the stillness of the air, I pushed hard
on the gas pedal. I drove away without looking back, knowing that
if I did, I wouldn’t leave at all.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The next day I felt like a member of
the walking dead community. My feet felt like lead, my head felt
like soup and my heart felt like ground meat. I took it as a good
sign when Jake didn’t appear to walk me to school. I hoped that
what I tried to do to release him (or whatever you’d call it) had
worked and maybe he was off courting the girl from the coffee
line.

I thought about that all the way
through my first class, hoping that the extra concentration might
further cement the effect and that focusing on them might take my
mind off Grayson. It helped my conscious mind, but there was still
that underlying bereft feeling and hollow ache that wouldn’t go
away no matter what I did.

Before my next class, I decided to go
by Ruger’s and see if I could spot the girl and/or Jake. Upon
entering, I didn’t see either one, but the smell of coffee drew me
to the little kiosk that served my favorite brew so I slipped into
line and opened my bag to dig out some money.

With my head down, I couldn’t tell at
first whose laugh I was hearing, but someone was chuckling, a
throaty, husky sound that tickled a memory somewhere way down deep.
It was one that I just couldn’t place, though.