Read Whistling for the Elephants Online
Authors: Sandi Toksvig
The
women stood still. Silently facing out. Harry was shaking with rage. ‘This is
insane. You women, go home. You are ruining this town.’ No one moved. ‘Do as
you’re told!’ he screamed, but no one moved. ‘Right,’ he called, ‘fire up the
engine. You asked for it.’ Harry gestured for the engine to start and Mr Walchinsky
from the hot-dog stand moved to get in the driving seat.
‘Hey,
Frank,’ I called. He stopped and shielded his eyes from the lights.
‘Dorothy?’
‘Yeah.
Only hot-dog stand in America designed by an architect.’
He
looked at me and nodded. ‘That’s right.’
‘You gonna
knock down John Junior’s zoo? And Mr Torchinsky.’ I put my hand on the bronze
statue of Billie which loomed above us. ‘Most beautiful thing you ever saw.
Remember? Come see the elephants, Mr Torchinsky? Frank?’
Harry
was trying to get back into election mode. ‘This town needs a stadium, a place
for family.’
Hubert
from the Pop Inn stepped out of the crowd.
‘Where’s
your grandson, Harry?’ he called.
Harry
swallowed hard. ‘I don’t have a grandson.’
‘He’s
dead, ain’t he, Harry?’
‘Oh …
go back to Africa,’ yelled Harry at the town’s only black man. A general
murmuring began. Hubert looked at him. Ingrid was standing with us. Slowly
Hubert moved to his wife and stood beside her. Torchinsky and Frank followed.
Then Alfonso, my fruit man, moved from the crowd of men and made his way
through the gates to stand with Miss Strange.
‘You
goddamn… feminists,’ yelled Harry. The murmuring continued. ‘Will everyone
be quiet… look.’
I could
see Father on the edge of the crowd outside. He was shouting something to me
but of course I couldn’t hear. I have no idea whether it was support or
disgust. Desperate to gain any kind of control, Harry resorted to his
megaphone.
‘People
of Sassaspaneck, I appeal to you. Apart from this zoo being a health hazard,
the fine young men of this town deserve better. Now I have—’
That’s
when the whistling started. Cosmos put one of her flutes to her mouth and began
to play her strange tune. Next Helen pursed her lips and joined in. Gradually
everyone did the same. Because this was America and tunes from the Sudan don’t
travel well, what they eventually whistled was the Battle Hymn of the Republic.
You couldn’t hear Harry at all. I don’t know whether they were whistling for
the elephants or for themselves. But I knew that these women had done the
undoable. That they were a source of wonder. We had defeated the Mayor, the
fire department, the police and my father. As the women whistled the Pleiades
looked down on us. It was the closest to a religious experience I have ever
had.
That was
the moment two things turned up. The television crew and the missing
salamander. I don’t know why either appeared. Perhaps it was the whistling.
Harry, still trying to be heard, had moved forward just as the news team got
out of their truck. The bright lights from the camera were focused on the man
with the megaphone when he stepped back and fell over the salamander. It was
not an insubstantial creature. Maybe five foot long with the look of a dragon
about it. Its appearance caused Joey to panic. He took aim and fired. Missed
and started to reload. Harry, not sure where the gunshot had come from or who
had felled him from behind, stayed down with his hands over his head. The
salamander moved off but the TV people were hot on the story. The shot had stopped
the whistling and everyone now stood watching.
‘We’re
here in Sassaspaneck, New York, where as you can see the entire town has turned
out for a most unusual election rally.’ The reporter was wasting no time. ‘It’s
not often that a Republican gets a chance to stand up and defend the very
symbol of his party — an actual elephant — but that is what’s happening here.’
While
the man spoke, a minion from the news company was racing around. ‘Where’s the
Mayor? We need the Mayor,’ he kept demanding.
‘He’s
on the floor,’ said Hubert, disgusted with the entire proceeding. The minion
pointed Harry out to the reporter, who moved forward.
‘Mayor Schlick?’
Harry
looked up. To say he was surprised doesn’t quite cover it. ‘Yes?’
‘Is it
true that you are actually willing to lay down your life in order to save the
elephants of this town?’
‘Well,
I…’ Harry got to his feet, blinking in the light. ‘That you are defending the
very symbol of your political party with your life?’
Harry
swallowed hard. Faced by this sudden burst of fame on one side and the entire
town on the other, he had no idea what to do next. Joey grabbed the megaphone.
‘No, it’s
not true. My name is Joey Amorato and I have been officially ordered by Mayor Schlick
to destroy the elephants. Indeed all the animals. He has ordered me so I have
to do it. The mayor wants the elephants dead.’
The
reporter sensed a good story. ‘A Republican shooting elephants. Mayor Schlick,
do you want to comment?’
Harry
scrambled to his feet.
‘No,
wait, there’s been some misunderstanding. I don’t want to kill anything.’
Joey
clenched his gun and looked his old friend in the eye. ‘You gave the orders,
Harry. I’m just following orders. If they die it will all be down to you.’
The TV
minion whispered in the reporter’s ear.
‘As you
can see, the tension in this town is fantastic. Joey Amorota, Democratic
candidate…’ The words gave new inspiration to the humiliated Joey.
‘I am
going to get them fucking elephants, Harry, and it will be your fault.’
‘Uh,
yes … determined to eliminate the wild creatures. Mayor, your reaction.
Caught
in the lights, Harry blinked. ‘There’s been a mistake. Joey!’ he called after
the irate dog catcher, but there was no holding him. Joey was off into the zoo
as fast as his small legs could manage. The reporter once more thrust the mike
at Harry. ‘I didn’t mean it. Oh God,’ he managed.
Miss
Strange moved fast. ‘Come on. We have to get to Artemesia.’
All
hell seemed to break loose. The women split up from their whistling ring and
the men moved in. Harry was still trying to deal with the cameras and Joey was
already at the entrance. Helen, Judith, Miss Strange, Sweetheart, Cosmos and I
began to run but Joey was ahead. We ran in past the gorilla cage and up to the
penguin pool. That was when we heard another shot. In the enclosure Artemesia’’s
ears were as wide as a sail as she trumpeted with alarm. A small trickle of
blood ran down her right flank. Joey stood with a shotgun. Cosmos got there
first and threw herself in front of Artemesia. Betsy was hiding behind some coconut
matting, shaking and calling to her mother. As the rest of us ran up, Joey
turned, aiming the gun at anyone coming near.
‘Think
I’m ridiculous, don’t you? All of you. I can do this, you know.’ Cosmos made a
slight move toward Joey but he swung the gun back at her. Cosmos lifted up her
hand and put it out toward him. I knew she was trying the Buddhist power of
concentrated calmness over unreason and brute force but I didn’t think it was a
good time. Anyway, it was at that moment that a small mouse decided to run
across the field. Cosmos saw it first, shrieked and stepped back. Then it
caught Artemesia’s eye and she wasn’t keen either. She stood up on her hind
legs in horror. Joey didn’t see the mouse. He could hardly believe the power he
was exerting. Women and elephants terrified by his massive testosterone-pumped
power. He turned to grin at the rest of us just as Gabriel tackled him. Joey
hit the ground and another shot went off.
‘Get
the elephants out of here,’ yelled Harry, racing up as Gabriel scrabbled with
Joey. Faced with TV fame he had completely changed his mind about the
creatures. Miss Strange moved fast. She rounded up Betsy and opened the gates.
Cosmos and Artemesia hightailed it out of there and headed for the house. We
could still hear Joey and Gabriel fighting. We were all running as hard as we
could.
‘We
have to hide them,’ called Judith.
‘Where
the hell are we going to hide two elephants?’ yelled Helen.
‘The Himaphan
forest,’ said Cosmos.
‘For
Christ’s sake, Cosmos,’ yelled Miss Strange.
‘It’s
okay,’ I shouted. ‘She means the woods, the woods over the river.’
We ran
that way in the dark. Troilus couldn’t keep up and we heard his whimpering
honks behind us. At the riverbank we came to a halt. There was no bridge now,
just the tracks which I had often used to come over. Sweetheart was last to
arrive. She was wheezing.
‘This
is impossible.’
‘No, it
isn’t,’ I said. ‘Tightrope—walking.’
Miss
Strange nodded. ‘Tightrope-walking. Come on, Artemesia.’ Miss Strange stepped
out on the track to lead the way. Everyone was panting and shaking but the
great grey beast was calm. The nick in her right flank didn’t seem to bother
her. With very precise footsteps she stepped out on to the track. Her hind legs
moving to rest precisely in the spoor of the front. It was an entirely silent
walk. The sole of her foot spreading out to take the weight at each step.
Perhaps Betsy knew the importance of what was going on. For once she got her
trunk to work. She reached out and grabbed her mother’s tail and began to follow.
Strong lights picked them out on their steel tightrope as the TV van careered
across the grass and up to the riverbank. The reporter leaped from the truck,
still in full flow.
‘The
elephants are on the run. The question is whether…’ Confused by the light, Artemesia
paused for a moment. Suddenly we heard Harry scream in the dark.
‘Joey!
No!’
A shot
came from behind and Betsy lurched forward. Artemesia turned to save her but
the baby elephant fell forward with a hoarse, deep cry into the river. It never
occurred to me that I couldn’t save her. That’s why I jumped in. I had been to
Boat Safety. I thought I knew what to do. The river pulled at Betsy and she
floated off to a sand ledge near the middle. She was bleeding from her left
shoulder. Her head was being swamped by water as she lay on her side. I got to
the middle of the river and tried to push her up on to the sand. I remembered
about Resussa-Annie. I kept trying to remember what to do.
‘You
put your hand on her chest like so, then take a deep breath and blow, one, two,
three.’ I began to blow into her mouth. Her chest was supposed to rise up. I
knew it was.
‘Head
to the side, blow out, one, two, three.’
I didn’t
even care about cooties. I thought her lungs would suddenly fill up but I didn’t
have enough air. No matter how much I blew I couldn’t cover her baby mouth. I
started crying, my tears mixing with the river water. I thought I knew how to
do this and I didn’t. The river was pulling on me and I couldn’t hold on. The
water snatched at me, pulling me away from the baby elephant. I didn’t know
that my father had been following. He knew his way without a map. I didn’t hear
him call to me but he saved me. My silent father leaped into the waters,
reached out for me and pulled me safe. It was the closest moment we ever had.
From
behind me I could hear Artemesia giving a great scream of pain as she turned
back to land. The elephant knows about revenge. Artemesia ran at Joey. He didn’t
have a chance, and when she was done she knelt by the riverbank uttering
choking cries with tears trickling down her cheeks.
Judith
put her arms around her mother and rocked and rocked her.
‘Mr
Mayor, your comment,’ called the reporter and Harry just stood there. He looked
back at the big house and at Joey on the ground and at Miss Strange and then he
began to cry.
‘Billie!
Billie!’
Betsy did not die. The
fire brigade saved her. Once again Uncle Eddie came to do salvage.
The
whole thing kind of shocked everybody and it took a while to settle down. The
mayoral race was held over. No one had the appetite for it. The news people
found out the truth about Harry and there was a great deal in the papers about
Pearl. The elephants had made Sassaspaneck famous and for a while the town was
full of strangers. Harry resigned from the fire brigade and didn’t go out much.
Aunt Bonnie’s kids came back from camp and she went back to her regular life.
It was about two weeks later that there was a town meeting. Judith addressed
everyone. She looked so different now to the woman I had met when we first
arrived. Strong and determined. Harry sat meekly beside her while she spoke.
‘My
mother, Grace Gerritsen, has been running the zoo for as long as any of us can
remember. Perhaps it is time for a change, but it needs to be the right one.
Does anyone have any suggestions?’
I
looked around the gathered townspeople. Mr Torchinsky who had romance even
though his wife had a moustache, Hubert who was a cool dude and had stood by us
when it mattered, Frank Walchinsky, Alfonso and Gabriel who had been my friends.
But mostly I looked at the women — Doreen Angelletta from the pizza parlour,
Mrs Torchinsky the undertaker’s wife, Ingrid who married a black man, Miss
Strange, Sweetheart, Cosmos, Judith, Helen, Aunt Bonnie — and I knew I had
found my place in the cosmos. Not necessarily in Sassaspaneck, but in myself I
could be anything. Run troupes of roller-skating bears or tame tigers or write
or whatever. Being a girl was just fine if you got to end up like one of these
women.