Whispers of Moonlight (53 page)

Jackie let go of Rebecca's hand when Clayton came up to meet her, but kind as she had been, it had all been torture for Rebecca.

Now the Buchanans were on their way home, and Rebecca felt as though it had all been a dream. Jackie Taggart was beautiful. But she was also married to the schoolmaster, and clearly a friend to Travis and nothing more.

"Are you all right?" Travis asked as he lifted her from the wagon and carried her into the kitchen. The snow was no longer deep, but Travis used any excuse to touch her.

"I think so."

"Did the sermon upset you?" he asked, still holding her close.

"No, I'm just thinking about the people I met."

Travis set her down. "You're sure you're all right?"

Rebecca nodded and managed to smile, but it was a relief to have Travis head back outside where the boys were waiting in the sleigh. She could let her guard down for a few minutes. The whole morning had been an awful mistake that led from one blunder to the next. She had stared at Jackie as though she had two heads, and then at her husband. To top it off, she had told them in front of Travis that she would be back the next week. Rebecca shook her head
in regret, but that didn't change the fact that her temples were starting to pound.

"I've worked for everything I have," Lucky told Travis halfway through February. "I think that's why I get tripped up with the free gift."

"I did the same thing. Lucky. There were many times even after I committed my life to Christ that I found myself trying to earn God's favor. God's grace is so huge. It's more than I can take in, but it really
Does cover it all. We can't out give God or do anything to make ourselves worthy. There is no room for pride. It's so easy for a child to ask for help—for a man it's
torture, but there's no other way."

The men were in the barn. The other hands always headed right to dinner when they came in from work, but since Lucky went home to Margo in town, he usually took a little time to talk with Travis.

"Margo's like a different person," Lucky shared, his voice full of wonder as though he couldn't quite believe it.

"In what ways?"

"She's not feeling at all well with this pregnancy and sometimes she has cramping. I'm afraid we're going to lose the baby, but she just says that if it happens, God knows best."

Travis nodded. "What you need to understand, Lucky, is that God never changes. Whether or not Margo had come to Him, God would still be the same.

The difference is in
Margo.
She has trusted in Christ, so now He's able to open her eyes to these new truths. The question is,
are you ready to follow in her footsteps? God doesn't love Margo more than He loves Lucky, but just like Margo, God is going to let Lucky decide."

It was very clear to Lucky at that moment. At least subconsciously, he had thought God had just recently become the God He was, but that was laughable. God had been there all along, the same sovereign presence for centuries, only Lucky hadn't seen Him.

"I need this, Travis," Lucky told him quietly. "I can't say as I understand it all, but I can
see now that I'm lost without Him."

In the horse barn of the Double Star Ranch, Lucky Harwell, remembering all that Travis had shared with him, gave his life to Christ.

"I have run from You, God," he prayed sincerely. "I have pursued my own life and done as I pleased. I have sinned with many women and even touched my wife before she was rightfully mine. I don't know how You can accept a sinner like me, but I want Your shed blood to cover my sins too. Come to me like You have Margo. Take all of me, God, and make me the man You would have me be."

Lucky looked up to see tears standing in Travis' eyes. His own stung the back of his throat.

"It's all true." His voice was a whisper. "I've been listening to the sermons for weeks now, Travis, and it's all true. God didn't just wind up the world like a child's toy and let it go. He's here, in every place and in every heart of those who will ask Him."

A tear slid down Travis' cheek. "So many years I've prayed. Lucky. I'll be here for you. Don't forget that."

"I need to go home." Lucky was suddenly breathless. "I need to see Margo."

"Go." Travis' smile was huge. "I'll see you tomorrow, and we'll talk."

Lucky's hand came out, and Travis covered it with his own. They looked at each other, but Lucky couldn't speak. As Lucky turned and walked away, Travis stood still and poured out his feelings to God.

This is what Robert felt like. This is what Robert's heart did when I finally saw the truth. You are Savior. You are Lord. Thank You, holy Father, for showing Lucky the way. I have failed You so many limes, but You've never let me down. Lucky and Margo are Your children now. Touch Sarah Beth, too,
Lord. Show her youn heart. Thank You that Wyatt and Garrett are so open. 1 know they'll find You. Rebecca too, Father. She needs You. She says nothing about the sermons,
Lord; in fact she's less open to talking about them all the time, but You never give up. Lord. She doesn't even know how much she needs You, but You'll get through. You'll find a way.

Travis had no idea how long he'd been standing there, but he was suddenly chilled. It was time to go in. He lit a lantern and did a final check on the stock and doors. By the time he reached the house, his family was sitting down to dinner. The boys flew at him, and Rebecca, although she stayed at the table, looked relieved.

"I thought something might have happened," she whispered tenderly when he bent to kiss her.

He looked into her eyes.
Something did happen, Rebecca. If only 1 could share it with you.
Saying none of this, he only kissed her again, swiftly washed, and joined his family at the table. The evening was like many others, but Travis prayed for both Lucky and Rebecca in a new way.

Rebecca told herself she would not be back. It was the second Sunday in March. She had been attending church with Travis for more than a month, but today, even though the sermon was just starting, she knew she would come no longer. After the fiasco of the first week, she had listened, truly listened. Travis was so secure in what he believed, and for the first time Rebecca had opened her ears, but she simply didn't understand the draw. She wasn't interested in hearing stories about Jesus every week.

But something had been bothering her for weeks that was separate from her boredom. She had not been able to put her finger on it immediately, but she had been uncomfortable at church and even with the Langleys. Now she understood. This group of church attenders thought they had all the answers. According to Pastor Henley, there was just one way to God. Rebecca didn't believe that. What kind of arrogance was it
that made them all think they had some type of spiritual understanding the rest of the world didn't have?

This morning Rebecca knew she had had enough. Travis could fall for it if he wanted, but not her. She debated telling him that the boys couldn't come either but thought it only fair that they get a taste of all religious viewpoints and make their own decision. For herself, she knew she would never agree.

"I talked to a man this week." Pastor Henley was speaking, and Rebecca, not caring to have everyone know her thoughts, tried to look as if she were interested.

"He said something wonderful to me. He said he was saved to a life."

Rebecca had come to hate the word "saved," but she also kept these thoughts from her face.

"I asked him to explain that to me, and he said that originally he believed in Christ out of need. The pastor that morning had been teaching about hell. The preacher wasn't shouting or trying to scare anyone. He was simply providing the truth of it from God's Word. My friend recognized the reality of hell and the fact that he was going there. But the preacher also remembered to tell his flock that Jesus Christ was personally able and willing to rescue them."

Pastor Henley had Rebecca's full attention now.

"That morning my friend knew a decision had to be made, and he made it. He decided to believe in Christ as his Savior," he went on, "but it was years before he understood the full import of what he had done. Saved to a life is what he now calls it. Not just saved from damnation, but saved to live a life as blameless and as pleasing to God as possible. Yes, his eternity was taken care of, but before death, for all the years he would roam this earth, he needed to commit his life daily, hourly, to God. There is nothing wrong with feeling a sense of peace and fulfillment when we finally take that step of salvation, but it can't end there.

"Look at our text today, John 10:10: 'I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.' Don't settle for mediocrity, my
friend. God has more for you. Heaven, yes! Salvation from eternal punishment, yes! But you are also saved to a life. A life full and free when lived for Christ and not for self."

Pastor Henley continued, but Rebecca heard no more. She was stunned. Had he said this before and had she missed it? Is this what Travis believed? Did they all believe that anyone who
didn't
believe as they did deserved to go to hell? She wasn't even certain there was a hell. After all, who really knew? And beyond that, who had the right to condemn anyone to go there? Certainly not Pastor Henley, Travis, or anyone else who went to this church.

She caught Travis glancing in her direction, so she swiftly schooled her features. Now was not the time to try to figure it all out.
Just get through it
became Rebecca's battle cry for the next hour as the sermon ended, the congregation visited, and even as the Buchanans rode home. It was not the start of a wonderful afternoon or week.

Travis was at the end of his rope; Rebecca would not tell him what was wrong. She had been cold and standoffish for two days. He was at a complete loss. She had been struggling for a few weeks, he knew, but she never wanted to talk about it. He could see that she didn't enjoy church, but she seemed to genuinely enjoy the people who always came to talk with her. However, she never wanted to discuss the sermon, and she grew angry if he ever tried to press her.

Sunday, she had been quiet, short with the boys and him, and wished only to be left alone to read. Monday, Travis had worked all day, but the boys were out of control at the dinner table and Travis assumed that Rebecca had spent the day on her own again. She had no desire to sit with him in the living room but spent the evening mending by the stove in the kitchen, and was stiff as an oak board when he tried to hug her good night. He didn't know what to think as he headed home on Tuesday night, but he didn't have long to wait to find out. Rebecca did not welcome his kiss, and dinner was nearly silent; the boys were subdued as well. Not long after he had put the boys to bed, he found her in her own room, nightgown in place, legs under the covers, leaning against the headboard, reading.