Whispered Confessions (Touched By You) (6 page)

“So, they were hot and heavy. I know Tanner pretends it wasn’t really like that. But in the years I knew him, one thing was clear. He liked his women. But he never settled on one, really. He had his pick, and he belonged to that group, the one with similar sexual tastes.”

“Yes, he told me he belonged to a group like that.”

“I mean, he’s a hunk, you know.
Younger than me, of course. Dani is more my speed. But still, he had a reputation.”

“When I met him, Tanner said he liked privacy and preferred to stay low-profile.”

“Sure, in public, that’s quite right. This was among friends. The group had a confidentiality agreement.”

Natalie remembered Tanner’s urge for her to maintain confidentiality in their relationship when she’d very first met him.

“So only those close to Tanner knew.”

“Knew what?”

“Nothing you don’t know, so wipe that look off your face. But he has particular preferences, and Aimee seemed to be the first to really satisfy him. He started seeing only her for a while. It looked like it might go further. Which was disappointing, of course, to the other women.”

“Other women?”

“You know he had many other women. That can’t possibly be a secret to you.”

Natalie had to admit it wasn’t a secret to her. But she’d tried to blot it out. The idea of Tanner with another woman made her panic. Being his wife hadn’t seemed to stop the feeling.

“So, what other women?”

“No one in particular.
That’s what I’m saying. He had plenty, and it seemed he was frequently with a different one. Considering that he was a handsome, wealthy bachelor, it shouldn’t surprise you. Women would fall at his feet.”

“They still do.”

Cheryl shook her head. “Not the same. He’s married now.”

“That is no guarantee.”

“With Tanner?”

“Yes, with Tanner. I saw Aimee, as close as I am to you, and the way she looked at Tanner was annoying. She’d take him in a second, wife or not.”

“Well, that I don’t doubt. If you really fall for someone, that sort of stuff can happen.”

“What do you mean fall for someone?”

“Aimee wanted more from Tanner. She was crazy about him, and not just sexually.”

“Tanner told me she wanted more. That was why he broke up with her. He didn’t want that.”

“Exactly. Which is why you have to stop worrying. Aimee had her chance with Tanner, but he rejected her. And that was before he ever met you. So it must have been one-sided.”

“He told me he never loved her, not like that, that it was just a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.
But…being so close to Tanner, it’s hard to imagine having sex with him and not falling for him. Also, it’s still hard for me to understand how he could be with a woman for so long and not feel something more for her.”

“Men are different, I suppose. Tanner liked the sexual thrill. I’m guessing he still does.”

Natalie knew she was blushing without needing to see the pink color in her cheeks. “Yes, he still does.”

“But, honey, he loves you. That is different. You are the first. After all, he married you.
Tanner,
married
. I wasn’t sure that would ever happen. So it doesn’t matter if he had two women or a hundred before you. You are the only one he fell in love with.”

“I know. I know. It’s just that he is more of a magnet for the female sex than ever. I’ll always be fending off the competition. Any woman who falls for him wouldn’t let the fact that he’s married stop them.”

“True. But Tanner wouldn’t betray you.”

“I hope not. I mean, I know he wouldn’t. It’s just the lure of temptation I fear. There are too many gorgeous, sexy women around. Even just in my career field, there are stunning models at every show, in every city we travel too. He wouldn’t
want
to let me down. But everybody has a weak moment, don’t they?”

Cheryl didn’t say anything.

“That’s what worries me.”

Since she’d been away, Natalie made a point to visit her mother when they returned. She’d called when they got home to be sure all was well. Even though Martha would call if anything changed, it wasn’t good to rely on that. Emma had been busier than ever with her sewing. Plus she’d been attending church with Martha, and was making new friends. Although her mood was good, Natalie still thought she looked too pale, and questioned the caregiver privately before leaving.

There seemed to be no cause for alarm. Natalie guessed her mother’s health was bound to wear her down, and was just glad she was in such good spirits. On the way home, she got a call from Jazzy.

“Maybe we can get together soon, Natty.”

“Sure, of course. You sound different. Is there something you need to tell me?”

“We went to see Asher again.”

“We?”

“I took Ellis this time.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and he adores Asher just as much as I do.” Jazzy spoke in an excited voice, and Natalie could almost see her smiling right through the phone.

“Is there more?”

“Yes, we want to adopt him. Ellis didn’t have any hesitation. He wants to be a father.”

“Aren’t you trying to get pregnant?”

“Yes, but it’s not happening. It still could, and that would be fine. We want more than one child. Ellis thinks if we adopt Asher that it would take the pressure off.
In case that’s part of the problem, why I can’t conceive.”

“That’s a big step,” Natalie said. She wanted to support her sister in her decision, but felt the need to be sure.

“It is a very big step. But we want to, Natty. We really do. It breaks my heart to see Asher in that place. It wasn’t his fault he lost his mother at such a young age. And on this last visit, he talked to me. Just a little, but he is starting to open up. I doubt he has hope of getting new parents. We certainly didn’t say anything to him.”

“How does this work?”

“There are papers to fill out. We have to qualify, but the agency doesn’t see any reason why we wouldn’t. And in the meantime, we have a request in to be his foster parents.”

“But won’t that be hard? You will both get attached to him. What if the adoption doesn’t go through?”

“That would be hard. But it’s worth it. We are doing this for him, to give him something better, give him a chance. I’d rather have him for a short while than not at all.”

“Spoken like a true mother.” Sobbing could be heard through the phone. “Are you crying?”

Through her sobs, Jazzy said, “Only because I’m happy. I think this is really going to work out. I’ll let you know when we hear back on the foster parent situation.”

“Sure, Jazzy. I know it will work out. Is it okay if I tell Tanner? He will be so pleased. I know he will.”

“Go ahead and tell him. We’ve decided, on our part anyway. I’m pretty sure it will work out.”

Natalie hung up and thought about her sister. It gave her a warm feeling. She knew how much Jazzy wanted to be a mother. Now that she thought about it, her sister had talked about it even when they were younger. Then there was Asher.

Thinking of the small, dark-haired boy with deep brown eyes, she felt the same way Jazzy did. He was an adorable child and deserved better. The knowledge that he would be part of their family was heartwarming. She hoped he wouldn’t have too many emotional issues from losing his mother and spending time in care facilities. But if he did, Jazzy’s patience and love would go far to heal those wounds.

Later in the week, they met at the care home for another visit with Asher. Natalie had told Tanner about the possibility of Asher’s adoption, and as she expected, he was pleased. Ellis was working, so Jazzy had come alone. Seeing Tanner and Natalie step outside onto the back steps, she grinned and waved them to come over.

Jazzy was squatted down in front of Asher, who looked at her with big eyes. He held his ball with his arms wrapped tightly around it; clearly it was his treasure. Standing, Jazzy said, “This is my sister, Natalie, and her husband, Tanner.”

Asher looked at them shyly. However, when Tanner motioned for the boy to throw the ball, his eyes brightened. They played with the ball for a long time, and Asher showed no signs of tiring. Natalie watched Tanner, and seeing him in such a different role was touching. Knowing what a good father he’d make, she thought about having her own baby.

It was too soon. Natalie wanted to have a family, but being married such a short time, she was still adjusting. In some ways, Jazzy was more mature, though she was the younger sister. Seemingly ready and willing to take on the responsibility of raising a boy Jazzy looked like a young woman prepared to be a mother. Whatever that look was she had it.

Natalie wanted to be sure that Tanner was ready too, and that they didn’t become parents before that time. She hoped she would know when that time was, or that the time would come when her husband wanted to be a father, for real. At that moment, seeing him with Asher, she knew his children would be lucky to have him.

Before they left, Tanner expressed his support to Jazzy. It was a good feeling to know there would be one less child without parents. He offered to do what he could to help speed the process, but since most of the procedure depended on state approval he wasn’t sure how much he could do.

Jazzy hugged him. “I know you will, Tanner. If there’s anything you can do, you will. It’s hard to wait. I just want to take him home right now.” Looking back, they saw Asher sitting on the back steps, clutching his ball.

*****

At home, Tanner was quieter than usual, and Natalie suspected the visit with Asher had affected him more than he voiced. When he looked at her with soft blue eyes, Natalie’s neurosis seemed a thing of the past. How could she doubt him? He’d given her no reason to.

Tanner pulled her into his arms. The way he held her, Natalie was confident of his love. Just a look or a touch reaffirmed the bond they had. No other man would ever have her heart. Lost in the depth of his blue eyes, Natalie knew that no woman could steal his heart from her.

Tanner told her to go bed and undress for him. In her dressing room, Natalie complied. She stepped into the bedroom and walked past the white stone fireplace, feeling the plush stone-colored carpet under her bare feet. She pulled back the covers and settled onto the satin sheets. Staring at the gold-embroidered fabric of the canopy overhead Natalie anticipated her lover’s arrival.

Soft, seductive music began to play; Tanner had turned on the music system. The song he chose was a rock symphony piece—beautiful yet ominous. When he stepped into the room, he was naked, and his was cock already hard for her. Hugging her arms around her, with her breasts bare, Natalie waited.

Tanner carried a stick with a large plume of peacock feathers at the end; something new. He stepped toward her, and Natalie watched the muscles of his thighs flex with every step, his heavy cock swaying. When he reached the bed, he opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a black satin blindfold.

“With this on, every sensation will intensify. You’ll have to let me guide you.”

Natalie let him put the blindfold on her. She felt lost without being able to see, unable to predict what was to come next. The music played, proceeding into new harmonies, and her hearing seemed more acute. The feel of Tanner’s warm hands on her shoulders was reassuring.

“Relax, baby.”

She tried but couldn’t help wondering what was next.

Aware of Tanner’s breath against her mouth, Natalie parted her lips and was rewarded with a hot kiss. The feel of his tongue against hers became the focus, and though unable to see, the kiss turned her on. Her skin tingled, and she kissed back, trying to hold on to him—all she had in the blackness surrounding her.

Moving down, Tanner kissed her jaw and down her neck. When he ran his warm tongue over her collarbone and across the tops of her breasts, it made her nipples stiffen. She hoped for the feel of his mouth over them, but he denied her.

Tanner moved away, and Natalie held her breath. Then she felt the light brush of the feathers down one of her arms. It didn’t tickle, it tantalized. She squirmed against the cool sheets under her, and Tanner didn’t seem to object.

The light touch of the feathers impacted her awareness as Tanner stroked, very slowly, down her other arm to her inner thighs. Keeping the feathers against her skin, he dipped to the sole of one foot and caressed her arch. It should have tickled, but instead her muscles tensed and her clit throbbed. It was as if the nerves in the bottom of her feet were connected directly to her sex. When Tanner stroked the bottom of her other foot, the same thing happened.

Still moving very slowly, Tanner dragged the tool along her ribs and over her belly. It was deliciously stimulating. “Raise your arms,” he said.

Natalie lifted her arms and felt the tips of the feathers tease along her underarms, moving up and up, until they grazed her inner wrists, palms, and fingertips. The more Tanner brushed over her skin, the more she craved his touch.