Whiskey Girl (14 page)

Chancing a peek over at Doug, she winced.
He didn’t appear to be too happy. “What’s wrong?” Man, her tongue felt thick.

He looked at her as if she were insane, but
for a moment didn’t say a word. When he finally spoke, his voice was calm, his
tone bland. “We’ll talk about it at your place.”

Ausha clamped her mouth shut even though
she wanted to insist they talk now if there was a problem. Insisting anything
to a man as high-handed and stubborn as Doug would more than likely not go over
very well. Especially given half of her words barely made sense even to her.

Damn Jack!
Whiskey had always been her favorite drink even before Lauren’s death, but
since then, it helped to keep the edge off. Ausha hadn’t allowed herself to
wallow in the amber liquid though since the early days after burying her baby.
Why she did so today, she wasn’t really sure.

There was something about knowing so many
people hurt in ways similar to hers that left her feeling raw and unprepared
for the world in general. Deep down inside, she knew it wasn’t a good enough
excuse and also had a sneaking suspicion Doug was going to tell her as much,
but it had seemed like a good idea after leaving the meeting.

When they reached her place, Doug didn’t
come to a screeching halt or anything, but he wasn’t exactly easy on the brakes
either. The jerking motion pressed her abdomen against the seat belt in a
purely uncomfortable way.

Oh shit!

Her mouth watered in only the way someone
who’d puked before would know about. Hanging her head low, Ausha sucked air
greedily, trying to steady the distress her stomach was about to share.

“Come on, darlin’.” He helped her from the
cab of his truck. Keys jangled in his fingers. Keys that would open her front
door, which in turn led to the bathroom and the toilet she would very soon be
visiting.

“Uh, Doug?”

He took one look at her, which evidently
told a story all its own. Within seconds he had the door unlocked and stepped
out of her way. Ausha did what felt like a gold-medal sprint up the hall to the
bathroom where she landed on her knees in front of the porcelain throne and
emptied the contents of her stomach.

Thank God she had the foresight to close
the bathroom door after her. Nothing more humiliating than having someone watch
booze get the best of you.

Damn Jack!

* * * * *

Doug rummaged through a small hallway
closet where he’d spotted bath towels. Grabbing a couple of washcloths, he
headed to the bathroom only to find the door firmly shut. The fact Ausha
thought she could keep him out was highly amusing.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the knob
turned easily. He wouldn’t have to take it off the hinges after all. Seeing her
there, on her knees sick, probably in more ways than one, was hard to take.
Maybe he should have gone to the meeting with her. At least then he would have
a clue of what upset her bad enough to get her to the drink-’til-you-puke stage
she was at now.

“Oh God,” she groaned. “Can’t you leave me
alone?”

Doug ignored her protests and went to the
sink where he wet the washcloth with cool water. Bending down, he pulled her
hair from her face and placed the damp cloth on the back of her neck until she
was done. He then wiped her face and helped her to her feet. She was pale and
sweaty. From the look in her eyes, she was mostly sober now.

“Brush your teeth then come out into the
kitchen.”

Using a tone that brooked no argument
caused a slight raised brow, but otherwise no back talk. Either she was finally
learning or was too exhausted to give him any grief…yet.

After putting on a pot of coffee, Doug
rummaged through cabinets until he came across a box of saltine crackers. He
set both the crackers and a mug of coffee for each of them on the table. When
Ausha walked into the kitchen, he couldn’t help but smile. She looked like
something the cat dragged in, bedraggled and wrung out.

“Oh coffee.” She pounced on the mug as if
afraid someone might come in and steal it away from her. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, darlin’.” He meant it too.
Taking care of Ausha, a woman who was as beautiful inside as she was out,
brought him more pleasure than he’d ever known. “First things first though.”
Doug let an edge of seriousness creep into his voice.

Moving to the table, he cupped her face in
his hands then bent low enough to brush a kiss over her lips. “No closed doors
between us, baby. You’re not alone anymore, not even when Jack beats your ass.
You got that!” Doug took a seat next to her at the table.

She stared at him, eyes wide and unsure. “I
know.” Her voice was a husky whisper. “It’s so embarrassing to be seen stupid
like that.”

“Stupid or not, baby. No walls between us.”
Doug waited until she nodded to continue. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay.”

He gave her a menacing look. Okay was not
an answer to any question as far as he was concerned. She must have deciphered
his look.

“Really. I’m shaky, still buzzing and my
stomach hates me right now, but otherwise I’m okay.”

“Good. Then you won’t mind telling me what
upset you enough to send you diving into the nearest bottle or why you went
there for comfort instead of to me to talk.”

He wanted her to understand he was there
for her. Always. Problem was that type of thing took trust and time, lots and
lots of time sometimes. Ausha was a loner, had been for a while, which made it
even harder to let go. Doug was really trying to be patient.

She glared at him. “That woman you sent me
to is like a bulldozer.”

“That she is, darlin’. That she is.” She
was also one of the most compassionate and caring people he knew.

“Yet you made me go there.”

Now she sounded like a petulant child,
which was definitely not the Ausha he knew. Time to figure out exactly what
Marjory said to get her so riled up.

“She didn’t help you then? Gave bad
information? Made light of the tragedy you’ve been through?”

A look of sheer disgust crossed her face.
“Of course not!”

“Well, then what the hell happened?” So
much for patience.

Ausha buried her face in her hands, and for
a second Doug thought she was going to cry. When she ran her fingers through
her hair then lifted her head, it was to find a disgruntled look cross her
features. “She doesn’t take excuses.” Standing from her seat, she whirled on
him. “She actually told me that just because my daughter died didn’t mean I had
the right to stop living myself. Can you believe the nerve?”

Actually he could. Nodding, he said,
“Sounds like something Marjory would say.”

A growling sound came from Ausha. “That
woman! She’s just so…so…” Taking her seat again, she looked at him. “Right.
She’s fucking right.” Her sigh filled the room.

Relief coursed through Doug’s whole body,
easing the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders. He was so afraid
whatever had set Ausha off on a drinking tangent might have also caused her to
retreat back into the cold, dark, lonely place she thought kept her safe, even
if alone.

“What was she right about, darlin’?”

She stood, and when she walked back toward
him, both hands outstretched and reaching, Doug’s love deepened. Grasping her
hands, he tugged until she stood before him bringing the beautiful curve of her
cloth-covered breasts even with his face. While he loved the exquisite view,
sex was actually the last thing on his mind.

She stared down at him with wide, soulful
gray eyes that spoke of hurt, loss and now a glimmer of happiness. “She thinks
I need to visit Lauren’s grave.” When she swallowed, the sound was audible in
the quiet room. “Say a proper goodbye.” She paused then as if working hard to
keep it together. “Brian too. Evidently if I can’t forgive and say goodbye,
moving on will be hard.”

Doug was a little surprised Ausha hadn’t
been to visit Lauren’s grave but kept the thought to himself. “What do you
think?”

Her fingers tightened around his hands. “I
don’t want to.” A tear slid silently down her cheek, catching the light. “I
don’t know how to say goodbye.” More tears followed the first. “I don’t know if
I can forgive.”

Doug released Ausha’s hands and pulled her
to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her middle. She’d lost so much and
worked so hard to survive even if her way of surviving was by giving up life as
she’d known it. He’d give his own life to bring back her daughter, her happy
existence. Seeing her struggle so much damn near ripped him apart. Being her
tough love tore at him in ways no other type of hurt had. But if it was what
worked, what brought her back to life, then he would be the biggest, baddest,
meanest bastard around. He would do anything for the woman he’d come to think
of as his own.

When she stopped shaking against him, Doug
loosened his hold, backing up enough to tug her down before him. Kneeling, she
placed her palms on his thighs and stared up into his face.

Dark curls bounced over her shoulders and
into her face. Doug tucked them behind an ear. Anything to touch her. “You
won’t know unless you try, baby.” When she turned her face, looking away, he
brought her back to him with a finger beneath her chin. “It’s going to take
time. Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, but one day you will be able to let
the anger go. When you do, you’ll feel lighter.”

She nodded in agreement. “I’ve wanted to go
to the cemetery every day since Lauren was laid to rest, but have never been
able to bring myself to do it.” Her eyes looked like deep gray pools as she
battled tears.

“Pack a bag then, darlin’, and I’ll make
reservations for Chicago to leave as soon as possible.” He’d seen in her
ex-husband’s file that they had lived in Chicago. He would do anything humanly
possible to make sure she got there to see her baby’s resting place.

Ausha seemed confused for a minute before
finally speaking. “I didn’t bury Lauren in Chicago, Doug. She’s here in
Memory.”

Now it was Doug’s turn to be confused.
Lauren was buried in Memory and Ausha had yet to go see her. How horrible. She
must have struggled daily with the knowledge her daughter lay in a tiny grave
in the cemetery not ten miles away on the outskirts of town and yet she hadn’t
been able to bring herself to visit.

“I’m sorry, darlin’. I wasn’t aware.”

Caressing his cheek with a soft hand, she
smiled at him. “I couldn’t bring myself to leave her there and I knew I
wouldn’t stay. I hated it there. So big, so noisy.”

Doug completely understood. “How did you
end up in Memory?”

Helping her to stand, Doug pulled her onto
his lap and settled back into the chair to listen to her story.

“My parents had me late in life and both
passed when I was young. After they died, I was sent here to live with my aunt,
my mother’s younger sister. Aunt Rose lived here in Memory. I loved it here.”

Her voice had a nostalgic ring to it. He
was glad she’d had some happy times in a life seemingly full of hardship and
loss. “How did you end up in Chicago?”

Ausha snuggled deeper into his hold. “When
Aunt Rose started having health problems and began to worry about her ability
to care for me, we moved to Chicago where her daughter lived. They were very
good to me, but Chicago never felt like home the way Memory did. So I moved
back.”

Heaven sent is what she was. “I, for one,
am so glad you did, sweetheart.”

She kissed him then, a slow, sweet,
lingering kiss. “Thank you. I am too.”

Her hand trailed down his chest, undoing
buttons along the way. When his chest was bare and she was finally able to put
her hands directly on his skin, he felt hot from the inside out.

“You’re playing with fire, baby.”

“That’s what I was hoping for.”

Without another word, Doug rose with Ausha
in his arms and left the kitchen, headed for the bedroom. She wiggled against
him, twining her arms around his neck, nibbling and biting his chest.

They weren’t going to make it to the
bedroom, Doug realized as he lowered Ausha to her feet to stand before him in
front of the couch. “Impatient much?”

“Please, Doug.” Her voice begged. “Right
now, please.”

Not needing to be asked twice, he buried
one hand beneath her shirt to cup a full breast and the other in her hair to
tilt her head for a smoldering kiss. When they parted, both were panting for
breath.

“How do you want me, darlin’?”

Her hands were everywhere. When she sank to
her knees, pulling at his belt until it came free, he knew and yet wanted to
hear the words.

“Ausha.” His voice was low, commanding her
attention. He didn’t continue until she peered up at him. “Answer my question.
How do you want me?”

“Rough. I like it hard and fast.”

It took every ounce of his being not to
come right then and there. “You got it, Whiskey Girl.”

She wrinkled her nose at his nickname for
her then went frantically back to work freeing him of his pants. There was no
licking, no slow nuzzling. She swallowed his cock in one deep thrust, bringing
her nose right up to the base of his cock.