Where We Belong (6 page)

On June 30, 2014, Michelle graduated from the internal medicine residency program at Cambridge Health Alliance at Harvard. The thirty-three-year-old was now free to focus on a very important personal project: her wedding. Michelle and Jason were getting married on July 12 and had less than two weeks to drive across the country from Boston to Northern California’s wine country.

The couple exchanged vows surrounded by friends, family, and lush vineyards. The honeymoon, eight hours north in Oregon, was a mix of relaxation and work; Michelle had to study for the internal medicine board exam in August.

In September 2014, Michelle had one last academic challenge. She started a three-year postdoctoral research fellowship in cardiovascular disease prevention and a master’s degree program in epidemiology at Stanford University. She and Jason had moved back to California so she could continue her schooling. Still with Procter & Gamble, Jason works as a program manager, overseeing the manufacturing quality-control processes domestically and around the globe. He travels frequently and is able to maintain a location-free role with the company.

Michelle and Jason, Northern California, 2014
(Courtesy of James Hall, Bustle & Twine)

The three-year program at Stanford is custom-designed and fully funded for Michelle, comprised of a three-year research stipend and a two-year master of science degree in epidemiology. Before she graduates in May 2017, Michelle will spend her days treating patients in a primary care clinic, conducting research focused on prevention for Stanford via a grant from the National Institutes of Health, and learning how to write funding grants. She will earn approximately $50,000 per year. Throughout, Michelle will be on the lookout for a large-scale problem that needs a creative solution.

“I feel like there’s something out there that I’m meant to do, and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten to that exact thing yet; it’s in the realm of food and nutrition and policy making. It might sound silly, but that’s a huge stress for me. I feel like I’ve been given a lot of gifts and opportunities along the way, so I’m always asking myself,
Am I supposed to be doing more? Is there something different I should be doing?
”

Michelle does know that it will be a combination of professional challenges that will keep her brain stimulated and her heart satisfied. She’d like to structure her work life with a mix of research, teaching, treating patients, improving her website focused on healthy living (
ChefinResidency.com
), and affecting positive policy change.

“I’ve been on rotations where someone comes to you with a problem and you stitch it up or cut it out or give them medicine and it goes away; it’s a lot of instant gratification. I’m happy doing those things, but I’m overwhelmed by a nagging feeling that I have to do something that’s going to get to the root of, and prevent, the problem. My focus will be on people eating better and being more active, and trying to figure out ways to do that on a community level and identifying the reasons that are preventing people from doing both.”

Michelle describes her college debt—$90,000—as minimal compared to most med school graduates’, not only because she was diligent about filling out financial aid and scholarship forms, but also due to her extremely underprivileged background. She knew, too, that Harvard offered very good financial aid. Because Michelle has committed to working in primary care, a lesser-paying area of medicine, her debt may drop by $10,000 to $20,000.

Now thirty-four years old, Michelle is passionate about promoting wellness in low-income communities. She describes the opportunity as healing; it offers meaning as to why she had to endure such tough times as a child. Despite limited common ground surrounding life experiences and goals, family relationships for Michelle have become solid and loving. Hugs and “I love you” are the norm with her parents. Her mother, who found appropriate mental health treatment, has turned her life around in recent years. She calls regularly and makes an effort to keep up with Michelle’s endeavors.

“My mom makes a point to write down the exact names of where I am and what I’m working on. I think she’s the only family member who could tell you my major and minor in college!”

Michelle and her father have also become close over the years. Following her divorce, Michelle decided to expose her dad to a language other than “Iowan.” After a visit, when it was time to say good-bye, Michelle hugged Mike and told him she loved him.

“The first time he looked at me like I was crazy,” she says, “but ever since he’s shown a lot more emotion. At my wedding, he gave an emotional speech that made him, and most of us, cry. He always hugs me when I see him and says ‘I love you’ when we finish a phone call. He’s also made a lot of positive changes in his life. He quit smoking and bikes thirty to fifty miles a day. He told Jason that if I can get into Harvard and become a doctor, he should probably take responsibility for his health.”

Nearly twenty years have passed since Michelle’s high school guidance counselor snickered in the face of her dream. The counselor passed away never knowing that the student she thought was best suited for a factory job cleared every hurdle to becoming a doctor. Michelle won’t take all the credit.

“There’s so much that went into me getting where I am. Hard work, my attitude, and being smart are part of why I’ve gotten to do what I’ve done,” she says, “but I’ve also had mentors come into my life at the right times or have had someone lend me money when I’ve hit rock bottom. I can’t say for a minute that I’d be where I am without things like that.”

The little girl with little support and little hope for a bright future saw the writing on the wall, and instead of finding an excuse, she found a way to rewrite her story.

“You’re the only one who can decide to get out of bed in the morning and what you’re going to do with your day. You can sit around thinking,
I have no choice
, but there’s always another choice. It may not be something that’s easy and that you want to do, but there’s always more than one choice. Sometimes you just have to pick the hard one.”

What fun it will be to watch the choices Dr. Hauser makes in the years ahead. They will no doubt better her life, and, if she achieves yet another dream, all of our lives, too.

I
’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life—and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.

LAILA ALI

Laila Ali may have a famous father, but she’s never liked coattails.

“I’m like the anti-celebrity,” Laila says with a laugh. “I’d rather not be noticed.”

But offer her a pair of boxing gloves, and she’s all in.

“I’ve always been a fighter. I’ve always had everything it takes to be a fighter, but it took me a while to figure out how to channel that energy in the right place.”

Laila is the youngest daughter of Muhammad Ali, considered one of the greatest athletes in boxing history. Her mother, Veronica, is Ali’s third wife and was nearly fourteen years his junior when they married in Los Angeles, California. By the time Laila was nine, the marriage ended; her mother was awarded custody of Laila and her older sister.

(Courtesy of Allen Cooley)

She describes her mother as loving but busy with social activities, trying to regroup after the divorce. Within a year, when Laila was ten, her mother’s boyfriend moved in with them. Laila found him manipulative and domineering. She became angry with her mom for allowing the boyfriend’s controlling behavior. The daily stress damaged the bond between Laila and her mother. She felt alone and rebellious. Her relationship with her father, who was battling Parkinson’s disease, was caring but not close. She’d resisted his insistence that she be a “respectful Muslim woman” and embrace the teachings of his Islamic faith.

Angry and frustrated by a fractured home life, Laila got into the wrong crowd during her adolescence. She socialized with older kids, ignored her schoolwork, and even spent three months in a juvenile detention center.

That was a wake-up call.

Realizing she needed to redirect her life, fifteen-year-old Laila began attending beauty school after her high school classes. She soon found work as a manicurist in a nail salon. Laila then enrolled in a Santa Monica community college, moved out on her own, and while working toward a two-year business degree, opened a nail salon. She was eighteen and comfortable maintaining a low profile.