When Grace Sings (13 page)

She accompanied Mom to the church’s quilting circle on Thursday afternoon and then regretted it. The buzz around the quilting frame concentrated on the farmstead in Arborville. If only she could be as excited about the gift of land, which everyone deemed a wonderful blessing, as the fellowship members.
She fielded their comments and questions with well-feigned enthusiasm, and by the time she left so she could be home when Sunny returned from school, her head pounded with tension. She had to make a decision concerning the land, and soon.

Steven arrived shortly after supper on Friday. Anna—Grace had spent the entire afternoon closed in her bedroom, praying and seeking God’s guidance, but when she looked into his hopeful face, she still had no answer. She sank onto the edge of the sofa and buried her face in her hands.

Steven sat beside her and placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. “Anna—Grace, you’re making this too hard on yourself.”

An unfamiliar swell of anger tightened her chest. She sat upright and released a huff of frustration. “Well, of course it’s
hard
, Steven. No matter what I do, the decision will lead to a host of consequences, none of which feel very positive.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

Her frustration mounted. Was he really so shortsighted? “Let’s say we move to Arborville, and word spreads that I am the illegitimate child of a man and woman from the local fellowship. Word will get out, you know. It’s inevitable in a small town. People will have a hard time accepting me—befriending me will feel awkward to them—and they’ll start looking at my birth parents differently, too. My birth parents won’t want me there. They gave me away. Why would they want me just showing up again?”

Unintentional bitterness colored her tone. She closed her eyes for a moment, struggling to bring her emotions under control. God expected His followers to love even their enemies. She could not continue to harbor these ill feelings toward her birth mother and father.

“Then I’ll sell it so you don’t have to move there.” Steven’s reasonable voice intruded upon her inner battle.

She popped her eyes open and fixed him with a disbelieving look. “That isn’t any better! If you sell the land, your parents will be disappointed because you’re letting go of a farmstead that’s been in your mother’s family for a
century. The entire town of Sommerfeld will think you’ve lost your senses, parting with such a generous, valuable gift.”

He took her hand and linked fingers with her. “But I don’t mind. If you can’t live there, you can’t live there.”

His grip felt too tight—almost cloying. She eased her hand free and rose, then took two steps away from the sofa. “You’re willing to do this for me now, but someday you’d regret it, and it would always be a dark cloud hovering over our relationship. I can’t ask you to give up something that is so special to your family.”

“Anna—Grace …” He pushed to his feet and closed the distance between them. The tenderness in his expression melted her irritation in one heartbeat. This time when he reached for her hands, she clung willingly. “You are more important to me than the land.” An odd look flitted through his eyes. He lowered his head briefly, and when he raised it again the strange glimmer was gone. “I promise not to hold it against you if you would rather not live in Arborville. There are lots of places in the United States with Old Order communities. We could use the money and move just about anywhere. Even to Alaska.”

A bubble of laughter pressed upward. “I don’t want to live in Alaska.”

He grinned. “Well, okay then, not Alaska.” He sobered. “The thing is, we don’t have to be tied to the farm in Arborville. Or even to Kansas if we don’t want to be.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and gawked at Steven. “After what your brother did—you’d move away from Kansas and your mom and dad?”

“I wouldn’t be like Kevin, running off without warning and never contacting them afterward. I’d stay in touch.” His brows descended and defensiveness put a bite in his tone. “It’s not the same.”

She shouldn’t have mentioned Kevin. His departure was an ever-festering wound. She squeezed Steven’s hands in silent apology. “Of course it isn’t.”

His stern look faded. He released her hands and slid his palms up her arms to her shoulders. His broad hands were warm and firm through the fabric of her dress. “All I’m trying to say is if the thought of living in Arborville is this
hard for you, then we have lots of options. I’m willing to go somewhere else, if that’s what you want to do.”

Anna—Grace leaned into his embrace. He loved her. He loved her enough to give up his grandfather’s farm for her. Her heart seemed to swell and fill her chest cavity, and happy tears pricked her eyes. Steven’s willingness to sacrifice so much for her raised a desire to please him in return. The answer she’d been seeking finally made itself known.

Still nestled in his arms, she whispered, “Steven?”

“Yes?” His warm breath caressed her cheek.

“I’m going to get Mom and Dad.” She stepped from the circle of his arms and moved toward the basement door. Her parents had taken Sunny to the rec room in the basement when Steven arrived, graciously giving her some privacy. “I’ve decided, but I want them to hear it, too.”

Steven

Steven slowly lowered himself to the sofa, his gaze never wavering from Anna—Grace’s face. “Hurry and get them then.” She darted off, and he curled his hand over the armrest of the sofa, his fingers flattening the padding beneath the brocade cover with the ferocity of his grip. For the first time since he delivered the news about the farm in Arborville, she appeared relaxed. Self-assured.

Hope and helplessness warred in his chest. Her decision would bind him to the farm or set him free.
Let her say she wants to sell it
. Guilt smacked as the prayer left his heart. But if the desire to sell the farm was hers rather than his, his parents would understand. Then he could use the money to—

Anna—Grace, followed by her parents, entered the living room. She came directly to the sofa and sat beside him, but her parents stood side by side near the wide doorway between the living room and kitchen. Mrs. Braun slipped her hand through her husband’s bent arm, and he placed his hand over hers. They looked calm and unworried, the opposite of how Steven felt.

He forced himself to let go of the chair’s armrest and moved his hand to his knee. He chafed the rough fabric of his work trousers with his palm and released a raspy chuckle. “Well, we’re all here …”

Anna—Grace offered him a brief smile and nod, then drew in a long breath. “Mom, you said you and Dad would respect whatever decision I made, right?”

Her father said, “We’ve been praying for you to make the right decision, and we trust your judgment.”

“Of course we do,” Mrs. Braun added.

“Thank you.”

Would she just tell them? Steven gritted his teeth to hold back his demand for her to hurry up.

“I’ve been praying, too, but until just now when …” She turned from her parents and locked gazes with Steven. “You said, ‘If you can’t live there, you can’t live there.’ ”

His pulse thudded hard. He gave a jerky nod.

“All week I’ve been telling myself I can’t do it. But how do I know for sure?”

She was still asking questions. Hadn’t she made up her mind?

She faced her parents again. “I can’t just refuse to move and make Steven give up the land his grandfather left as a legacy to his family. Not without knowing for sure if I can live peacefully in Arborville. And the only way to know whether I can live there is to spend time there. And not just for a day or two. For long enough for me to really, truly
know
.”

Mrs. Braun tipped her head, a slight frown creasing her face. “What are you saying?”

Anna—Grace stood and crossed to her father. “Dad, would Steven be wasting time and money to fix up the farmhouse in Arborville?”

Mr. Braun’s forehead crunched into lines of deep thought. “Improving a property is rarely a waste because it increases the value.”

“So even if later we decide”—she shot a quick look at Steven before facing her father again—“not to live there, it’s a good idea to repair and renovate the house?”

“I would say so.”

She scurried back to Steven and stood in front of him, her hands clasped at her waist. “When are you going to Arborville to work on the house?”

Slowly Steven shrugged. His dad had been pestering him to get over there
and get started, but he’d put it off in hopes of selling the place to someone else. “Probably next week.”

“When you go, I’m going with you.”

Her mother pulled in a startled breath.

Anna—Grace continued as if there’d been no interruption. “The only thing I’m not sure about is whether to open the letter from my birth parents before I go. Mom and Dad, I know you think it’s better for me to learn their names if I plan to live in Arborville, but I wonder if I should wait until I’ve decided whether to move there permanently.” She shifted to face Steven. “I’ll stay with Aunt Abigail or one of Dad’s cousins, and if I need to, I’ll find a part-time job to pay for my keep. But I have to find out, firsthand, whether or not I can settle into the community.”

Steven gawked at her, too stunned to speak. She wanted to
go
there?

“Anna—Grace, you can’t just quit your job at the café without giving notice,” Mrs. Braun said.

“I agree with your mother.” Mr. Braun stepped forward and put his arm across Anna—Grace’s shoulders. “It would be irresponsible to leave your aunt Deborah without warning.”

Anna—Grace hung her head.

Mrs. Braun remained in the doorway, hugging herself. “Besides, we need to contact your relatives in Arborville and make sure someone has room for you.”

Anna—Grace, her head still low, sighed. Then she looked at her dad. “You and Mom are right. I’ll tell Aunt Deborah tomorrow that she needs to find another morning waitress. If my last day at the café is the twenty-fourth of this month, I can leave for Arborville the following Monday. Is that a better plan?”

Mr. Braun pulled Anna—Grace against his side in a hug. “Yes.”

Steven stood. His joints felt tight and clumsy from holding himself so stiffly on the edge of the sofa. He looked first at Mrs. Braun, who blinked rapidly as if tears were threatening, and then Mr. Braun. “Other than wanting Anna—Grace to give better notice at the café, you don’t mind her going to
Arborville?” Why wouldn’t they tell her no? If they forbade her, she wouldn’t go. She respected her parents too much to go against their wishes.
Just tell her no
 …

Mr. Braun’s expression turned tender as he gazed at his daughter’s upturned face. “Part of parenting, Steven, is letting go. Livvy and I have done our best to raise Anna—Grace to be a responsible, capable young woman.”

Mrs. Braun approached, a smile trembling on her lips. “We knew she’d be leaving us when she married you, and even though this is a little earlier than we’d anticipated, we trust she’ll be all right.”

Anna—Grace hugged her dad and then wrapped her mother in a hug. The women clung for several seconds before she stepped aside and faced Steven. “How long will it take to repair the house?”

He repeated what the carpenter in Arborville had estimated. “A month if things go well. Two at the most.”

She bit her lip for a moment. “So if I wait two weeks, I’ll be in Arborville for two to six weeks while you work on the house.” She gave a firm nod. “That should be long enough. By the time you finish the house, I should know whether or not living there is something I can do. If I can, the house will be ready for us. If I can’t, it will be ready for someone else.”

Steven stifled a groan. Four to eight weeks before he’d know whether he could pursue his own desires? He might explode by then.

Arborville

Briley

Briley closed his laptop and pushed it aside. He cringed as he considered Len’s reaction to the lengthy e-mail he’d just sent. One full week in Arborville and he hadn’t uncovered so much as a speck of dust. If dirt existed here among the people of the Old Order fellowship, they’d swept it well under the rug. Would Len tell him to give up and come on back to Chicago? Even though he was
going a little stir crazy—he missed the bustling Chicago nightlife—he wasn’t ready to concede defeat. There had to be dirt here. He just needed to peel back the rug a little farther. And that would take time.