What the Heart Knows (17 page)

“Okay.”

She watched him walk away and felt like she’d been kicked in the stomach. After everything they’d been through it felt like a polite exchange with a stranger.
It was
a
wkward, with neither of them quite sure what to say or how to act. She hated it. 
Then go to him.
Juni ignored the voice, clicked off the light and la
y
down in the bed. She rolled to the right, tossed back over and finally settled for punching her pillows. Things were too unfini
shed for her to rest
.  This wasn’t how
it was supposed to end.
When you slay the dragon, you walk off into the sunset and h
ave
a happily ever after
,
damn it!

But what if this isn’t real? He chose you over the woman he loved enough to marry. It doesn’t get any realer than that. Sure a part of you might remember him on a subconscious level, so what? It was a simple greasing of the wheel that jumpstarted your relationship. The choice to remain with him was yours alone.

“I need sleep.” Juni rolled onto her back and stared up at the ce
iling as the minutes ticked by
.

“Shit!”

She peeled back the sheets and swung her legs around the side of the bed, careful to test her balance as she eased her feet onto the floor while she held onto the
head
board of the bed. When she discovered she felt steady she walked to the door, headed for the guest room. The door was open and Oliver sat on top of the covers flipping through a photo album. Her heart sank into her shoes and she stepped back
,
ready to slink away before she was noticed. His head popped up and she swore mentally.

“Hey.” 
Lame! You couldn’t think of anything better to say?

“Juni, what are you doing up? You should’ve called to me. I would’ve come to you.”

“I couldn’t sleep, and really my body needed the movement.”

“At least come and sit down.”

“I can see you’re busy, so I’ll just head back to the other room.” She gestured to the space behind her when he shook his head and waved his hand.

“I’m not busy. Do you want to see what I’m looking at?” Olive
r
picked up the black photo album he’d tossed down and held it up towards her.

No. The last thing I want to do right now is take a trip down memory lane with you and your wife who almost killed me.

“Sure.”

Juni forced her limbs into motion
and came to perch on the edge of the bed beside him.

“I was waiting for the right time to show you this.”

I bet you were.

“
R
ight
now feels appropriate
.”

He set the album down between them, opened the cover and
her eyes grew wide
.
Were those the tickets from their first date at the Aquarium?

“I’ve been keeping little keepsakes from each one of our trips. I thought it would be a nice way to remember accomplishing those last things on your list.”

 
His voice was low and almost bashful as he looked up at her th
r
ough the fringe of hair she found adorable. This was still her Oliver, one of the sweetest men she’d ever met.

“Thank you.”

She leaned in to suck his bottom lip
between
her own and poured every ounce of love
in
to the kiss. “Wow
.
A
ll this for an album?”
he asked.

“No, for reminding me why we’re worth fighting for. I’m not going to give us up after all we’ve been though together.”

“Juni, I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“Shh.”

She placed her finger on his lips “What we’ve found is rare. The details of how we were originally introduce
d
are
inconsequential.”

“A-Are you sure? Because I can’t go through another los
s
—
”

His voice cracked and she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed another kiss on his lips. The salty drops that dripped from his eyes coated their mouths and her tongue as she continued to convince him with her mouth she was sure of her decision. They pulled apart for air and she stroked a gentle finger down his face.

“You’re my beautiful mess now,
Oliver. We’ve put too much work into moving beyond our past
s
to walk away now.”

“But you haven’t heard the whole story of what happened while you were unconscious.”

“So tell me.”

 
Fear flashed across his face, and she ached for him. Hannah might have taken her over, but she’d broken him, not once, but twice. She rested her head on his shoulder to lend him her support and remained
quiet
as he told his story.

Thirty minutes later she couldn’t decide if she was horrified, amused or disgusted. He’d had sex with his wife in her body to help save her life.
What did you say to that?

“Are you okay?”

“This whole thing is so bizarre; I don’t even know what to say. Don’t get me wrong
.
I’m cre
e
ped out as hell. But none of it’s your fault. For all we know, she would’ve eventually found me no matter what. I choose to think fate brought you into Cupa, not her. I refuse to give her any more power over me. You should do the same.” 

“It’s not that easy.”

“It can be if you let it. After all the shit Hannah put you through
,
you still did what was right. You don’t owe
her anything, not
that you ever did. Just think, without you, Hannah would be left to wander the earth for eternity, never truly belonging anywhere.”

The thought made her shudder. 

“Next time the guilt starts to eat at you, remember that. Better yet, come to me, and I’ll help put your mind on other things.”

She tilted her head up
and
pulled his face down toward her. Juni placed a soft kiss on his parted lips and held his gaze. “Like this.”

Right now they both needed gentle. She cupped his face in her hands and placed soft kisses over his face.

“I don’t want you to regret this later,” he whispered.

“I won’t.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because I have faith
.
I’m asking you to do the same.”

“Ju
—
”

“Please don’t let her ruin this t
o
o.”

Tears filled her eyes and he grew wa
r
y as she took a deep breath.

“You’re my chance at a new start too
,
Oliver. I love you, and not because of cellular memory or ghost residue. 
You’re
the man who helped me check items off my bucket list,
and
removed all my self-consciousness about my scar. You can always make me laugh no matter what, and I think we make each other better people.”

“
Juni, you can do a lot better than me.
”

Oliver looked away and her heart dropped.

“I don’t want anyone else.”
She climbed into his lap.
“Look at me.”

He lifted his head
to comply
and she continued to speak.

“If your feelings have changed since I lost the hitchhiker ghost, I’ll accept that. What I can’t stomach
and refuse to
understand is you lying down and letting her win.” She gripped his t-shirt in her hands and her body shook. “Tell me you don’t feel the same.”

Her voice was low and filled with gravel as she spoke through gritted teeth.

“I can’t
,
damn
it!”

His mouth crashed down and she gasped at the passion he put in that one lip-lock. She sucked air into her greedy lungs when he pulled away.

“I tried to do the honorable thing and give you a chance to walk away from all this madness.” He
pressed her body to his as he whispered into her hair. “Y
ou refused.” 

She shivered at the possession audible in his tone.

“Now you’ve sealed both our fates.”

She squeaked as he lifted her off his lap and laid her onto her back. His movements were slow and methodical as he slipped her t-shirt over her head and kissed a fiery path down her neck to her cleavage. She hissed when he licked her incision scar and massaged her heavy breasts.

“Do you know why I
love
this scar so much?” 

“No,”
she whispered.

“Because without this badge of courage you wouldn’t be here with me.”

Only this man could take the mark she found hideous and turn it
in
to something beautiful. 

Chills ran through her body when he scraped the raised line with his fingernail.

“I want to lay any doubts you have to rest
,
Juni. I love you. I’ll always cherish my time spent with Hannah, but that’s in the past. You are my future.”

His hand
move
d down to slide inside her pants
,
and her hips jerked when he found her swollen button.

“I think I love hearing the noises you make almost as much as I love making you come.”

He dipped a finger inside her slick entryway and she pushed her hips up in an attempt to bring him deeper.

“Not yet
.
W
e’re doing this slow and easy.”

He circled his thick digit inside her and brought the soaked finger back to her nub. Oliver increased the pressure and rubbed harder as her breath came in pants.

“Oh my God!”

“That’s it
,
baby.”

She laid her head back onto the bed, closed her eyes and swiveled her hips in time with his strokes. Her body tensed.  Oliver delivered one final flick of his finger and she barreled over the edge.

“Oliver!”

She gushed a river and her body jerked erratically as she rode out the waves of pleasure. He stripped away their clothing, and slid inside her in one unhurried thrust. Oliver twined their fingers,
and their gazes locked.  Each plunge took him deeper and embedded him further in her heart. This was more than sex
:
this was connection on the deepest level possible.  They came together in an explosion that took her breath away as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

In the quiet calm that settled in the afterglow, Oliver spoke. Propped up on an elbow he glanced down as she peered up at him over her shoulder. “I love you
,
Juni. I won’t say I want to start over because that would mean forgetting all the things that came before. But I do want a fresh start.”

“I want that too.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his body. “Are we going to be okay?” he asked.

“We will be.”

They had some bridges to rebuild, but they’d get things straightened out with time.

Exhaustion from the day set in, and she allowed her eyes to drift shut.

The weather was perfect, bright and sunny with a gentle breeze that took the bite out of the heat. It was worlds away from the downpour that had lead him int
o Cupa a year prior. Oliver kne
l
t
in front of the granite tombstone and placed his bouquet of wild flowers on the ground. He traced the words etched into the stone,
Hannah Young, beloved wife, sister, and daughter.
He was surrounded by stillness, but it wasn’t oppressive. He glanced back to where Juni stood a few yards back. They agreed they needed to do this together, but she insisted he say his piece in private.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been here since the funeral, but it was too painful before now. I’m sorry as hell that the accident happened. If I could change things I would, but since we both know I can’t we’ll just have to live with the deck of cards we were dealt. I know you’re probably wondering why I’m here. Despite everything that happened between us, I don’t want to feel like you’ve been forgotten. I told you I forgave you, but this is about making peace.”

He thought of the time it took for him and Juni to work things out, and sighed.

“Not just for me, but all three of us. A part of me will always love you, but my heart belongs to another now, so this is goodbye.”

He pushed up from the ground and waved Juni over.