Authors: Richard Adams
" 'Come with me,' said El-ahrairah. 'Quickly, too.'
"When they got to the lane the meat was still there. El-ahrairah dragged the bag into the ditch and they buried it.
" 'But what good will this be to us, master?' said Rabscuttle.
" 'I don't know yet,' said El-ahrairah. 'But some good it will surely be, if the rats don't get it. Come home now, though. It's getting dark.'
"As they were going home, they came on an old black wheel-covering thrown away from a hrududu, lying in the ditch. If you've ever seen these things, you'll know that they're something like a huge fungus--smooth and very strong, but pad-like and yielding too. They smell unpleasant, and are no good to eat.
" 'Come on,' said El-ahrairah immediately. 'We have to gnaw off a good chunk of this. I need it.'
"Rabscuttle wondered whether his master was going mad, but he did as he was told. The stuff had grown fairly rotten and before long they were able to gnaw off a lump about as big as a rabbifs head. It tasted dreadful, but El-ahrairah carried it carefully back to the warren. He spent a lot of time that night nibbling at it and after morning silflay the next day he continued. About ni-Frith he woke Rabscuttle, made him come outside and put the lump in front of him.
" 'What does that look like?' he said. 'Never mind the smell. What does it
look
like?'
"Rabscuttle looked at it. 'It looks rather like a dog's black nose, master,' he answered, 'except that it's dry.'
" 'Splendid,' said El-ahrairah, and went to sleep.
"It was still frosty--very clear and cold--that night, with half a moon, but fu Inlé, when all the rabbits were keeping warm underground, El-ahrairah told Rabscuttle to come with him. El-ahrairah carried the black nose himself and on the way he pushed it well into every nasty thing he could find. He found a--"
"Well, never mind," said Hazel. "Go on with the story."
"In the end," continued Dandelion, "Rabscuttle kept well away from him, but El-ahrairah held his breath and still carried the nose somehow, until they got to the place where they had buried the meat.
" 'Dig it up,' said El-ahrairah. 'Come on.'
"They dug it up and the paper came off. The meat was all bits joined together in a kind of trail like a spray of bryony, and poor Rabscuttle was told to drag it along to the bottom of the vegetable garden. It was hard work and he was glad when he was able to drop it.
" 'Now,' said El-ahrairah, 'we'll go round to the front.'
"When they got to the front, they could tell that the man had gone out. For one thing, the house was all dark but, besides, they could smell that he had been through the gate a little while before. The front of the house had a flower garden and this was separated from the back and the vegetable garden by a high, close-boarded fence that ran right across and ended in a big clump of laurels. Just the other side of the fence was the back door that led into the kitchen.
"El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle went quietly through the front garden and peeped through a crack in the fence. Rowsby Woof was sitting on the gravel path, wide awake and shivering in the cold. He was so near that they could see his eyes blink in the moonlight. The kitchen door was shut, but nearby, along the wall, there was a hole above the drain where a brick had been left out. The kitchen floor was made of bricks and the man used to wash it with a rough broom and sweep the water out through the hole. The hole was plugged up with an old cloth to keep out the cold.
"After a little while El-ahrairah said in a low voice,
" 'Rowsby Woof! O Rowsby Woof!'
"Rowsby Woof sat up and looked about him, bristling.
" 'Who's there?' he said. 'Who are you?'
" 'O Rowsby Woof!' said El-ahrairah, crouching on the other side of the fence. 'Most fortunate, most blessed Rowsby Woof! Your reward is at hand! I bring you the best news in the world!'
" 'What?' said Rowsby Woof. 'Who's that? None of your tricks, now!'
" 'Tricks, Rowsby Woof?' said El-ahrairah. 'Ah, I see you do not know me. But how should you? Listen, faithful, skillful hound. I am the Fairy Wogdog, messenger of the great dog spirit of the East, Queen Dripslobber. Far, far in the East her palace lies. Ah, Rowsby Woof, if only you could see her mighty state, the wonders of her kingdom! The carrion that lies far and wide upon the sands! The manure, Rowsby Woof! The open sewers! Oh, how you would jump for joy and run nosing all about!'
"Rowsby Woof got to his feet and looked about in silence. He could not tell what to make of the voice, but he was suspicious.
" 'Your fame as a ratter has come to the ears of the Queen,' said El-ahrairah. 'We know you--and honor you--as the greatest ratter in the world. That is why I am here. But poor, bewildered creature! I see you are perplexed, and well you may be. Come here, Rowsby Woof! Come close to the fence and know me better!'
"Rowsby Woof came up to the fence and El-ahrairah pushed the rubber nose into the crack and moved it about. Rowsby Woof stood close, sniffing.
" 'Noble rat-catcher,' whispered El-ahrairah, 'it is indeed I, the Fairy Wogdog, sent to honor you!'
" 'Oh, Fairy Wogdog!' cried Rowsby Woof, dribbling and piddling all over the gravel. 'Ah, what elegance! What aristocratic distinction! Can that really be decayed cat that I smell? With a delicate overtone of rotten camel! Ah, the gorgeous East!'
("What on earth's 'camel'?" said Bigwig.
"I don't know," replied Dandelion. "But it was in the story when I heard it, so I suppose it's some creature or other.")
" 'Happy, happy dog!' said El-ahrairah. 'I must tell you that Queen Dripslobber her very self has expressed her gracious wish that you should meet her. But not yet, Rowsby Woof, not yet. First you must be found worthy. I am sent to bring you both a test and a proof. Listen, Rowsby Woof. Beyond the far end of the garden there lies a long rope of meat. Aye, real meat, Rowsby Woof, for though we are fairy dogs, yet we bring real gifts to noble, brave animals such as you. Go now--find and eat that meat. Trust me, for I will guard the house until you return. That is the test of your belief.'
"Rowsby Woof was desperately hungry and the cold had got into his stomach, but still he hesitated. He knew that his master expected him to guard the house.
" 'Ah, well,' said El-ahrairah, 'never mind. I will depart. In the next village there lives a dog--'
" 'No, no,' cried Rowsby Woof. 'No, Fairy Wogdog, do not leave me! I trust you! I will go at once! Only guard the house and do not fail me!'
" 'Have no fear, noble hound,' said El-ahrairah. 'Only trust the word of the great Queen.'
"Rowsby Woof went bounding away in the moonlight and El-ahrairah watched him out of sight.
" 'Are we to go into the house now, master?' asked Rabscuttle. 'We shall have to be quick.'
" 'Certainly not,' said El-ahrairah. 'How could you suggest such double-dealing? For shame, Rabscuttle! We will guard the house.'
"They waited silently and after a while Rowsby Woof returned, licking his lips and grinning. He came sniffing up to the fence.
" 'I perceive, honest friend,' said El-ahrairah, 'that you found the meat as swiftly as though it had been a rat. The house is safe and all is well. Now hark. I shall return to the Queen and tell her of all that has passed. It was her gracious purpose that if you showed yourself worthy tonight, by trusting her messenger, she would herself send for you and honor you. Tomorrow night she will be passing through this land on her way to the Wolf Festival of the North and she means to break her journey in order that you may appear before her. Be ready, Rowsby Woof!'
" 'Oh, Fairy Wogdog!' cried Rowsby Woof. 'What joy it will be to grovel and abase myself before the Queen! How humbly I shall roll upon the ground! How utterly shall I make myself her slave! What menial cringing will be mine! I will show myself a true dog!'
" 'I do not doubt it,' said El-ahrairah. 'And now, farewell. Be patient and await my return!'
"He withdrew the rubber nose and very quietly they crept away.
"The following night was, if anything, still colder. Even El-ahrairah had to pull himself together before he could set out over the fields. They had hidden the rubber nose outside the garden and it took them some time to get it ready for Rowsby Woof. When they had made sure that the man had gone out, they went cautiously into the front garden and up to the fence. Rowsby Woof was padding up and down outside the back door, his breath steaming in the frosty air. When El-ahrairah spoke, he put his head on the ground between his front paws and whined for joy.
" 'The Queen is coming, Rowsby Woof,' said El-ahrairah from behind the nose, 'with her noble attendants, the fairies Postwiddle and Sniffbottom. And this is her wish. You know the crossroads in the village, do you not?'
" 'Yes, yes!' whined Rowsby Woof. 'Yes, yes! Oh, let me show how abject I can be, dear Fairy Wogdog. I will--'
" 'Very well,' said El-ahrairah. 'Now, O fortunate dog, go to the crossroads and await the Queen. She is coming on the wings of night. It is far that she must come, but wait patiently. Only wait. Do not fail her and great blessing will be yours,'
" 'Fail her? No, no!' cried Rowsby Woof. 'I will wait like a worm upon the road. Her beggar am I, Fairy Wogdog! Her mendicant, her idiot, her--'
" 'Quite right, most excellent,' said El-ahrairah. 'Only make haste.'
"As soon as Rowsby Woof had gone, El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle went quickly through the laurels, round the end of the fence and along to the back door. El-ahrairah pulled the cloth out of the hole above the drain with his teeth and led the way into the kitchen.
"The kitchen was as warm as this bank and at one end was a great pile of vegetables ready for the hrududu in the morning--cabbages, brussels sprouts and parsnips. They were thawed out and the delicious smell was quite
overpowering. El-ahrairah and Rabscuttle began at once to make amends for the past days of frozen grass and tree bark.
" 'Good, faithful fellow,' said El-ahrairah with his mouth full. 'How grateful he will be to the Queen for keeping him waiting. He will be able to show her the full extent of his loyalty, won't he? Have another parsnip, Rabscuttle.'
"Meanwhile, down at the crossroads, Rowsby Woof waited eagerly in the frost, listening for the coming of Queen Dripslobber. After a long time he heard footsteps. They were not the steps of a dog but of a man. As they came near, he realized that they were the steps of his own master. He was too stupid to run away or hide, but merely remained where he was until his master--who was returning home--came up to the crossroads.
" 'Why, Rowsby Woof,' said his master, 'what are you doing here?'
"Rowsby Woof looked foolish and nosed about. His master was puzzled. Then a thought came to him.
" 'Why, good old chap,' he said, 'you came to meet me, did you? Good fellow, then! Come on, we'll go home together.'
"Rowsby Woof tried to slip away, but his master grabbed him by the collar, tied him by a bit of string he had in his pocket and led him home.
"Their arrival took El-ahrairah by surprise. It fact, he was so busy stuffing cabbage that he heard nothing until
the doorhandle rattled. He and Rabscuttle had only just time to slip behind a pile of baskets before the man came
in, leading Rowsby Woof. Rowsby Woof was quiet and dejected and did not even notice the smell of rabbit, which
anyway was all mixed up with the smell of the fire and the larder. He lay on the mat while the man made some
sort of drink for himself.
"El-ahrairah was watching his chance to dash out of the hole in the wall. But the man, as he sat drinking and
puffing away at a white stick, suddenly looked round and got up. He had noticed the draft coming in through the open hole. To the rabbits' horror, he picked up a sack and plugged the hole up very tightly indeed. Then he finished his drink, made up the fire and went away to sleep, leaving Rowsby Woof shut in the kitchen. Evidently he thought it too cold to turn him out for the night.