Water from Stone - a Novel (16 page)

Once again dressed, their wrinkled clothes pressed back neatly into place, or at least as neatly as possible, with her torn panties stuffed into Jack’s pocket so they can be taken out of the office unseen, Caroline bites her lip, looking suddenly insecure. “So,” she asks, “about that rain check?”

Thirty

Mar.

Mar has come to love Boulder in every season but, as summer spreads its warmth over the dizzying beauty of the mountains, she regularly experiences a surge of adrenalin that translates itself into renewed creativity and energy. This particular year is no exception. Added to that the fact that she is relaxing into the role of motherhood, her career is taking on new dimensions. The line of gift items that Diane had suggested is getting great reviews, and she is getting sex on a regular basis. This latter is a great source of amusement for Diane and Shirley.

“Girl, there is just this amazing glow all about you. He sleeping over every night?” Shirley asks as she, Mar and Diane watch several neighborhood kids play in the sandbox behind The Center. Derek is soundly asleep in his play-yard under a tree.

“Well, not every night,” Mar blushes, “but enough to keep me a happy woman.”

“You go, girl!”

“Don’t forget the times he comes to ‘visit’ during the afternoons,” Diane teases her.

“Are you kidding?” Shirley asks. “He’s comin’ over for nooky in the afternoons? Jaysus, Mar, you makin’ up for lost time, or what?”

“Hey, a girls gotta get it when the getting’s good. Aaaand…the getting’s really good!” Mar grins and the three women burst into laughter.

“Oh, god,” Shirley says, taking a swig of her soda. “But, what’re you gonna do when he leaves? He is still leaving, right? Dylan talked to him, I think yesterday or the day before, and he didn’t say anything about being able to stay longer.”

Both Shirley and Diane look at Mar. In the five years they’ve known her, they’ve never seen her as relaxed and happy as she has been in the past few months. Mar knows they are afraid of what Kevin’s leaving will do to her.

Mar looks off at Lizzie, whose laughter floats to her from the sand box. “Yeah, he’s still leaving. In a couple of weeks. Don’t look at me like that. I’m OK about it. Really.”

“Hmmph!” Diane snorts and Mar rolls her eyes at her.

“No, I’m serious,” Mar insists. “Look. I really like him. Maybe in time, I could love him. And, yes, the sex is great. It’s just that I’m not ready to fall in love. Or, he’s not the right one. Whatever. I’m just enjoying it for what it is.”

“Listen, Mar, I’ve seen you around him. You light up. There’re some feelings there.” Diane says.

“Well, of course there are feelings!” Mar exclaims. “I wouldn’t be sleeping with him if I didn’t like him. And respect him. And, yeah, I like to be around him. It feels good to be wanted by someone you like. But that’s it. End, finito, drop it.”

“Mar, honey? Can I ask you a question? Something you maybe should think about a little bit?” Shirl asks.

“What?”

“Honey, do you think maybe you’re holding back because you’re afraid of losing Kevin, too?”

“Is that you or Dr. Dylan asking?”

“We’ve talked about it,” Shirley admits. “It makes sense.”

Mar flips onto her back and looks up at the sky through the branches of the tree they are sitting under. You’d have to mix some black in with the green if you were painting the leaves from this angle. She thinks about how to answer. “OK, yes, you’ve got a point and I’ve thought about it, too. And, yes, definitely, I’ve been holding back. But not so much because I am afraid I am going to lose him eventually, but because I know I am. He’s going places, and that’s good. I want to stay here.”

“But he could be based here, couldn’t he?” Diane asks.

“Yeah, sure, technically he could. But that’s not what he wants. He’s off to England and doing work for the President. Besides, I couldn’t say he’s The One, anyway. You don’t make those kind of life changes for a maybe.” Mar rolls onto her stomach and looks off at Lizzie. “Look, yes, I don’t want to lose anyone I care about again. But, really, honestly and truly, I’m OK with him going. We’ve had a great time together and now I know how good it feels to open up again. If it turns out we can’t live without each other, he can always come back. Jeez, it’s getting hot out here, don’t you think? Let’s go inside.” And she gets up and goes to get her daughter.

“Oh, man,” Shirley mutters.

“You’ve got that right,” Diane agrees and Mar pretends she didn’t hear them.

Thirty-One

Jack.

Jack and Caroline have seen each other every day since their encounter in Jack’s office and the sudden “coupleness” of the whole thing is beginning to worry him. It isn’t that he doesn’t like her, he does, very much. It is more that, from all appearances, she is ready for a full-blown relationship, and he isn’t. End of story. That being the case, Jack senses he really needs to think about what is going on, to decide to actively participate in it or to step off the ride. Even DeJon is becoming itchy with the new set up. As he and Caroline head toward the elevator in his building, Jack thinks back to his latest conversation with the boy.

“Why you hangin’ wit her all the time now, Jack?” DeJon had asked.

“We’re friends. I like her. And, it’s ‘why are you hanging with her’, not ‘why you hanging wit’ her.”

“Shit.”

Jack had lined up and sent the basketball arcing through the air. “Yeah, shit. The way a man speaks says a lot about how much respect he’s got for himself. Whew! Look at that!”

“Aw, fuck, Jack, don’t start with that shit.” DeJon caught  the look Jack shot him and sighed heavily. “OK, you’re right, but you the one, you’re the one, that’s messing around now. You’re trying to change the subject. And,” he enunciated clearly, “it is not working.”

Jack grinned over at the kid all gawky in the oversize basketball get up Jack had bought him. He was such a piece of work. And, he was right. He had been trying to change the subject, but whether for DeJon or himself, he wasn’t sure. “I like her,” he’d offered again.

“Yeah, fine, she’s nice and she looks good. But you’re acting all goofy and stupid around her. What’s up with that?”

“Women, they do that to a man.”

DeJon cradled the ball to his side and looked off down the street. He cleared his throat nervously. “So, uh, are you gonna marry her or something?”

Jack froze. Is that what he’d been thinking? Their relationship was finally back on track and now DeJon was seeing Caroline as a threat to their time together? “DeJon,” he began.

“Don’t ‘DeJon’ me. I’m not a kid. I just want to know. Are you gonna marry her?”

“No. I mean, look, I’ve only known her about a month. I like her. She’s fun, she’s funny. But I’m not planning to marry again. Not now, or ever.”

The kid peered at him, his eyes older than his years. “Lindsey was ‘it’ for you, is what you’re saying.”

“She was.”

“Well then, OK. So this is all about the sex then, right?”

“What?”

The kid wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and took off down the court, his laughter trailing easily behind him. After a moment, Jack took off after him.

***

Jack fits the key in the lock. He has to talk with her. If she has expectations that he can’t meet, it isn’t fair to keep on seeing her.

“Hey, what’s this?” Jack stops and stares quizzically from the foyer of his apartment. The living room is filled with white candles of every shape and size, all lit, casting a golden glow throughout the room, reflecting warmly off of the whites of the furniture and walls. There are several discreet floral arrangements placed tastefully about the room. The stereo is softly playing Eros Ramazotti’s latest.

Jack reaches for a light switch but Caroline gently takes hold of his hand and turns him to her. She leans into him and murmurs, “Happy Anniversary, sweetheart,” before taking his lower lip between her teeth and sucking in. As she begins to play with his tongue, she pulls his arm around her and puts his hand on her ass, moving it up and down enough so that it is apparent that she is not wearing panties.

Aroused, Jack reaches his other hand up to her blouse and, rubbing her breast, realizes that she is also not wearing a bra. Why hadn’t he noticed that before? he wonders briefly, before dragging her to him tightly, letting her feel his growing arousal.

Somewhere in his brain, a bit of Lindsey pops up, a bit of himself comes to the foreground and says, “Hello? What’s this? Anniversary? How the hell did someone get into the apartment?” but by then Caroline has dropped to her knees in front of him.

“Oh, Jesus,” he moans as all thought is driven from his mind.

Later, in the shower, he flinches as Caroline gently cleanses the raw wounds on his back. It is not the first time she has drawn blood while in the mindless frenzied lust of their lovemaking, but these cuts are definitely the deepest. He makes a mental note to ask her to cut her nails before she leaves scars, but is too tired to start the conversation then.

The first sign that Jack is coming back to his senses occurs when they step out of the shower and begin to dry off. As he moves to leave the warmth of the bathroom to search for clothes, Caroline gently pushes him down onto the lip of the oversized tub and tells him to wait. She slips out of the room naked, is gone for only a moment, and returns wearing one of Lindsey’s bathrobes, the one he’d given her as part of their 2nd wedding anniversary gifts to one another. She holds his own matching robe up for him to slip into.

“No need to put on real clothes,” she laughs deep in her throat. “I’m sure we’ll be wanting to get out of these again real soon.” And she pulls the ends of the belt around to tie them for him.

Once tied, she turns Jack around to face the wall-to-wall mirror, slips in front of him and pulls his arm around her. “There now,” she says, “isn’t that perfect?”

To Jack, it isn’t perfect. In fact, it is all wrong. Suddenly, seeing Caroline there in Lindsey’s bathroom, in Lindsey’s robe, with his arm around her, it occurs to him that he’d let sex cloud his mind, let his cock get him into a situation he doesn’t think he can handle, doesn’t know how to handle, doesn’t want to handle.  He pulls his arm from around her and pretends to adjust his belt, taking his eyes off of the image in the mirror. “Wow, I’m beat,” he says. “How about you?”

He looks up when she doesn’t answer him and is stunned by the look of mortification on her face.  Apparently, she can read him better than he’d thought. “Caroline,” he begins.

Caroline turns from the mirror and begins to gather up her clothes. “Yeah, me too,” she flashes a strained smile at him. “Let’s just wrap up the food and I’ll be on my way.”

“Food?” he asks stupidly. They’d planned to go out for a bite after work but now he doesn’t feel like it. He feels like asking her to leave and kicking back with a bottle of Scotch.

“Don’t worry. It was silly. I just thought, well, forget what I thought. Anyway, it’ll still be good tomorrow,” she turns her back and reaches for her blouse.

Guilt floods through him and Jack wonders why he is being such an ass. She’s obviously gone to a lot of trouble to make it a fun evening and, anniversary thing aside, there is no reason he should ruin it for her. “On second thought,” he reaches for her and re-ties the robe she is wearing, Lindsey’s robe, “let’s eat. I’m starving.”

Hope blooms like a flower on her cheeks and he feels all the worse for it. “Really?” she asks.

“Really.” Jack tucks a stray hair behind her ear and tries to quiet the voice inside his head that warns him he is agreeing to more than just a meal.

Thirty-Two

Mar.

“I’m sorry, Mar, but I don’t know what else to do.” Kevin reaches down and tucks the sheet more closely around Mar’s shoulder. “I never expected this, or I wouldn’t have made any other commitments.”

Kevin is due to fly east the next morning and after that, he’s  off to England. He’ll be gone for several months. At least.

“I know,” she murmurs, her hand playing absently with the hair curling on his chest. “But you’ll be back to visit soon. Thanksgiving’s only a few months away.”

“I’m going to hate missing Lizzie’s birthday.”

Mar smiles sadly. How is she going to explain to her almost-two-year-old that ‘Kevvy’ is gone? Lizzie idolizes the man. Her first words each morning are, “Where’s Kevvy?” Funny how those are usually her own first thoughts.

Mar lets her mind drift to her feelings. “You know what?” she finally says, and looks up at him so that he can see that she is serious. “I didn’t expect this. I was kind of OK with the thought that my life would just go on as it had been, painting, being a mother. You opened something inside of me that was closed a long time ago and no matter what happens, if you come back, if you don’t, whatever, I’m always going to be glad you were here. I had forgotten what I was missing.”

“Oh, god, Mar,” he groans. “I have the feeling that for a very long time I’m going to regret not trashing all my plans and staying with you.”

She laughs quietly and bends to kiss him. “I’m going to regret not having this,” she murmurs and climbs on top of him.

Thirty-Three

Jack.

After a vicious game of racquetball, they go to Ozszie’s for a heaping platter of ribs and beer. Loose after the workout, relaxing with the beer, Jack fills his friend in on the deal with Caroline.

“Man,” Mortuary John laughs, “she’s got your balls in a vice, buddy, and it don’t look like she’s gonna let go. The lady’s got plans.”

“I know,” Jack says miserably, “but I don’t know what to do. I mean, it completely freaked me out seeing her in Lindsey’s robe. And then that whole anniversary thing. I felt like a total jerk.”

“I hear ya,” Mortuary John shakes his head, “I don’t think I’d like anyone getting into my apartment. That’s kind of like
Fatal Attraction
and all that shit. Know what I mean?”

“Yeah, I do. And we’re not even dating – I mean, not dating dating, like there’s a commitment. She acts like we’re engaged or something.” He takes a swig of beer and signals the waiter to bring another round.

“If you’re not dating, dude, then what are you doing?” Mortuary John picks up a rib and begins gnawing at it. He looks at Jack curiously.

“Jesus, I don’t know.” Jack runs a hand through his hair, tries to find intelligent words for what he thinks is going on. Tries, fails. “Hanging out, I guess.” He shrugs, sheepishly.

“Listen, my friend, to you and me you might be hanging out. But, to a woman, you’re dating.” Mortuary John points the rib at Jack for emphasis. “Women, they got a whole different set of values, and if you’re not careful, those values can ruin a man’s life.”