Warning Signs (Love Inspired Suspense) (13 page)

Was her arrest finally sinking in? Owen assured her he would get to the bottom of it. What if he couldn’t, though? How could he promise her anything at this point? The drugs were in her house. The fact is he should be telling her to use her one phone call for an attorney.

“So who do you want to call?” he asked instead.

She shook her head and waved the phone away from her.

“No one?” he signed. “Not a family member or friend?”

“I don’t have any family, and my closest friend is somewhere on the island.”

Owen contemplated his next words. “How about your mother?”

Miriam’s gray eyes flashed dark before resettling with her nonchalant shrug. “Not necessary. We don’t...talk anymore.” Owen didn’t miss the fact that Miriam used the sign for
talk
instead of
sign.
He curbed his tongue from asking why and reached to turn off the machine.

Miriam touched his forearm. Her fingers seared him instantly. The feeling must be growing on him, though, because when she withdrew it, he covered the place to hold in her warmth.

“I changed my mind. I know who I want to call.” Her hands moved in a blurry haze.

“Great.” He forced his hand to engage. “Who?”

“Your son.”

“What?” Owen cut her a quick glance, speaking out loud and forgetting to sign.

“I want to call Cole.”

Both his hands and lips refused to move now.

“Please.” The color of clean slate beckoned from her eyes. It reminded him of the chalkboard he’d scrawled Shakespeare’s sonnet on. A surface that could be easily cleaned.

It would take more than an eraser—and a pretty girl—to wipe his sins away.

Miriam scooted up in the bed, smoothing down the lapel of her white robe. She directed that look of acceptance at him again that made him think he just might give her the world.

Owen’s fingers automatically punched out the number to Rebecca’s parents.

Rebecca’s father answered, but within seconds Cole appeared and filled the screen with his pale blond looks. A curious expression widened his blue eyes as he waited for his dad to speak.

“Hi, Cole,” Owen signed stiffly, spelling out his name, but by the time he reached the letter
E,
Owen’s fingers trailed off. More than anything, he wanted to give his son one of those special name signs that Miriam had mentioned. Something that would suit his character. But then he figured it should come from someone who knew Cole better, so, instead, Owen turned the screen to include Miriam.

“Who are you?” Cole signed and brought his face up close and personal to the camera’s lens.

“I’m Miriam.” She spelled out her own name, but also gave him her name sign. “Your dad is helping me at my school.”

“You sign? Are you deaf?”

“I am deaf just like you. Your dad has told me so much about you.”

Owen stepped back out of the picture and wondered why she’d said that. It wasn’t true. He could barely talk to Cole, never mind about him.

From his point behind the screen he couldn’t see Cole’s answer, only Miriam’s replies. It seemed to him everything she said was about him, as though she deliberately painted him in a good light. An undeserving light.

“I understand,” she signed. “I sometimes feel lonely, too. But your grandparents sound really nice. Plus, if I had a phone like this, I don’t think I would be lonely anymore. You’re very lucky to have a dad who gave you a videophone. This is so cool. I am going to buy one tomorrow.”

Her smile was infectious. “You can have this one,” Owen signed on impulse.

Her face lit up like a Fourth of July sky, which made his spontaneous gift worth it. “Your dad just said I could have this one. Can you believe it? He’s so nice.”

Owen thought she was trying too hard, but he let her continue with her attempt at bonding father and son. He didn’t have the heart to tell her it was pointless.

“Of course I’ll call you again. I’m going to love using my new phone. I wish I’d had one of these before. It’s so much easier and nicer to sign directly to a person, rather than typing in a message.”

Owen wondered if she would use the phone as she said. If she didn’t have anyone to call to tell them about the trouble she was in now, then why would she have someone to call later?

“Really? Getting this phone was your idea because you like cameras? I bet you talk to your dad all the time on it.”

Her smile drooped at the edges. Her facial muscles strained to keep it there for Cole’s sake. “I’m sorry, Cole. Parents don’t always get it right.” She peered over the screen. “I think your dad loves you very much but doesn’t know how to say it.”

Owen escaped farther back until the chair bumped him from behind. An obstacle that blocked his path to the door? Or forced him to face the firing squad?

“I think that’s a great idea!” Miriam clapped her hands in enthusiasm, then threw her strong, swimmer’s legs over the edge of the bed. She patted the place beside her to invite him to sit.

She wanted him be a part of this conversation?

He could barely breathe.

“Come. Your son wants to teach you something. And you did say you were willing to learn. So park it. School’s in session.”

Owen shook his head, but when her hand reached for him, he latched on like a drowning victim. She had to peel his fingers from her hand so she could continue to speak.

“Go ahead, Cole.”

Cole took a deep breath, his tiny shoulders lifted in preparation. He pushed his blond hair out of his sky-blue eyes and leaned in toward the camera again. “Are you ready, Dad?”

Owen hesitated, not sure what he needed to be ready for and thought facing criminals with guns was easier than facing his child.

Miriam elbowed him in the rib cage; her eyes flashed a warning that made him think he would take those criminals over her any day, too. “I’m ready.”

“I.” Cole pointed his pinky up and stopped.

Miriam nudged Owen again, prompting him to repeat after his son.

“I,” he mimicked.

“Love.” Cole crossed his fisted arms at his chest, but it felt more like a fist to Owen’s gut.

“Love.” Owen’s arms shook as he did the same.

“You.” Cole pointed straight at the camera, his little finger taking up half the screen.

Owen raised his trembling hand, reaching for his son.

“No,” Cole signed. “You’re doing it wrong. It’s just one finger. You were right, Miriam. He doesn’t know how to say it.”

Owen’s laugh hitched with an emotion other than humor, and he had to choke down tears lodged at the back of his throat. “I think she’s right about a lot of things.” Owen angled a look in her direction.

Owen may have been holding back the tears, but Miriam wasn’t. Her eyes brimmed with glistening moisture until one tear made its escape.

Owen caught it with his thumb as he cupped the side of her smooth freckled face.

She encircled her fingers around his and with a squeeze pushed it to his lap. “Before we hang up, we have one more thing to talk about, and it’s really important.”

Owen tensed. What could she be planning to tell Cole? Was she going to bring up his mother? Owen shook his head to stop her from saying anything else.

She ignored him. “Cole, we need to give you a name sign.”

Trapped breath squeezed out of Owen’s lungs as Miriam asked Cole questions about things he liked to do, toys he liked to play with and his favorite foods.

Owen touched her hand to interrupt. “I have a sign that might work,” he signed tentatively.

“Really?” both Cole and Miriam replied, their expressions expectant and excited.

“Yes.” Doubt grew in Owen. “If you don’t want to keep it, we can give you another one.”

“Of course he’ll want it. It’s more special when it comes from someone who loves you.”

His hands shook. “I was thinking since Cole likes cameras, especially video cameras, I thought the letter
C
cranking the side of a video camera would fit him.” Owen curled his hand into a
C
and demonstrated the sign, then shifted uneasily.

Cole jumped up and down, his face one big smile, looking so much like any other young boy his age. Owen felt relief that his sign had been accepted. But shame quickly followed. For so long, Owen had refused to see the boy before the deafness.

Another thing he needed to repent for. Another thing his son would have to forgive him for...or not.

“I love it, and I love you, Dad!” Cole’s exuberant expression filled the screen again. Owen searched for the judgment that stared at him from the mirror every morning. He knew it had to be there behind the words that tugged on his heart and tricked him into believing he was forgiven.

Instead, an innocent face stared back. Hope showed from the screen. All Owen could see was a boy who needed his father. Not one looking for restitution.

How could he withhold anything from Cole anymore? How could he make Cole pay for the sins of the father any longer? “I love you, Cole.” Owen used the newly appointed name sign that felt so right.

“Your signing is getting better,” Cole signed with excitement. “Keep practicing, Dad. And then I can come live with you.”

Owen’s throat tightened. “No, Cole. You need to stay with Grandma and Grandpa. They can take care of you better.”

“Why?”

“I just told you. You need to listen.”

“I was right. You don’t love me. You lied.” Cole’s signing hands punctuated his growing anger. He reached at the screen with scrunched lips, then the screen went blank. He’d clicked off.

* * *

Miriam had never seen guilty students retreat faster from her office than Owen’s retreat from her. He put away the phone in heavy silence. Taking extra care and time in winding the cord up, he focused on that instead of on her. She wondered if he was angry at her for forcing him into the conversation with Cole, or if he was angry at his son.

She hoped it was her. She could handle that. Miriam wasn’t so sure about the alternative. She prayed Owen’s situation with his son wasn’t a repeat of her own relationship with her mother.

Miriam had thought in the beginning of the phone call that Owen didn’t feel worthy to be part of the conversation. That for some reason he lacked confidence in relating to his child, not that there was animosity between them.

The ending of the call told her otherwise.

The principal in her stepped up to the plate. Parents played a critical role in their child’s education. A parent is a child’s first and most important teacher. If a gap existed between the child and parent, learning would be extremely difficult for the child throughout their life. And Cole, especially because of his deafness, needed the support and encouragement that could only come from his father.

But before Miriam could intercede between father and son, she would need to know the truth of how Owen felt about his son’s deafness. She prayed she would be able to handle the answer.

She would also need to get his attention.

Miriam snapped her fingers, a gesture she found kind of rude but sometimes necessary if someone purposely tuned her out. Besides, it usually did the trick, and seeing Owen’s dark eyes target her, this time was no different.

She lifted her hands to sign, “Your son needs you.”

“He needs someone safe.” Owen’s hands flew angrily as he answered her. “Someone who will be there for him. I have a job that puts me in danger daily. I sent Cole to his grandparents’ for a reason. If something happens to me out on the field, he won’t be hurt too much.”

“He’s hurting now.” Her hands stilled for a moment while she studied Owen’s taut face. “And so are you.”

“I should be hurting more.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

Owen turned his back on her, a simple movement that effectively tuned her out again. His navy blue T-shirt stretched across his back. She could see his shoulder muscles tense beneath the fabric, working through a problem he wished the strength of his body could take care of.

But certain problems needed something other than body strength. They needed the use of a different part of the body that tended to be overlooked more times than not.

The heart.

Miriam put her feet down onto the cold tile and padded up to his side, brushing his arm.

She came around and placed her left hand on his chest. Beneath her fingers, his heart beat a rapid cadence. It spoke volumes to her. It spoke of a fight within in him that he battled daily—and was losing.

Please, Father, don’t let Cole’s deafness be the cause of Owen’s fight.

“Why are you hurting?” She lifted her hands from his chest to sign.

Owen’s lips twisted in defiance. His hands remained still.

“Please. Talk to me.” Miriam couldn’t wait any longer. She needed an answer to the question that had plagued her her whole life. “Is having a deaf child really so bad?”

“Yes.” Owen’s answer came quick and swift.

Miriam flinched, but the normal anger that rolled so close to the surface when she denied this to be true didn’t spring up. Instead a dull pain resonated through her, from her heart to her head, and straight down her arms to her fingertips.

Miriam dropped her shoulders and her gaze to her open hands. To the things that made her look like a freak.
I guess Mother was right after all.

Miriam didn’t want to believe it was true, but maybe it was time to accept it. To stop fighting the hearing world’s view that she was flawed. That there was something wrong with her.

Miriam filled her stomach with air and pushed words from her mouth. “I...see.” She spoke through her mouth. At Owen’s surprise, Miriam figured she sounded just as freaky, but she opened her mouth and pushed out, “I did not realize...deaf children...caused so much pain...to their parents. I thought it was...just my mother.”

“Why are you talking?” Owen signed, his face swamped with confusion.

“Isn’t that...what you want?”

“No!” Owen’s hands flashed quickly in her face.

“Your son’s deafness...hurts you. That must be the same for...me.”

“My son’s deafness hurts me because I caused it!” Owen’s face was mottled in red.

Miriam’s lips sealed shut.
Owen caused his son’s deafness?
Her mind tried to process that. “How?” she signed her natural language automatically.