Waking Up in Charleston (12 page)

“We won’t cut off all your hair, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dinah promised. “And everything we do will wash off if you hate it.”

“Okay, then,” Amanda said, brightening at the prospect. “This will be fun.”

And it would get her mind off of her father and Caleb, she thought with relief. Those were subjects much better tackled in the bright light of day.

Or never.

I
t was the very first time Mary Louise had seen an ultrasound of her baby, the very first time she’d heard its little heartbeat. The baby had been real to her from the first moment she’d realized she was pregnant, but this was totally awesome. She couldn’t seem to tear her gaze away from the monitor. To be honest, at not quite four months along, all she could really see was this tiny little pulsing motion, but it was amazing! She wished like anything that Danny could have been here, too, but she hadn’t even told him about the appointment.

After Thanksgiving when things had been awkward between them, thanks, in part anyway, to Willie Ron’s interference, she hadn’t wanted to risk having Danny tell her he wasn’t interested in coming with her. She knew she was probably clinging to a fantasy, but she wanted to believe that deep down he cared as much about this baby as she did. Every time he proved otherwise, it carved another chunk out of her already-broken heart.

Despite her fear that his reaction might disappoint her, the second she left the doctor’s office, she pulled her cell phone out of her backpack and called him at
Clemson. She knew his class schedule by heart and figured he’d be walking to his job off campus now. He picked up on the very first ring.

“Hey, Mary Louise,” he said, sounding at least a little glad to hear from her.

“Hi, Danny. Is this a good time?”

“Sure. I’m on my way to work. I have about twenty minutes before I’m due there and it’s only a five-minute walk. What’s going on?”

“I just had a doctor’s appointment,” she began, trying to keep her enthusiasm in check in case he didn’t show any interest.

He hesitated, then asked, “Are you okay? Is everything all right with the baby?”

Because he actually sounded genuinely concerned, she went on. “I heard the heartbeat,” she told him excitedly. “And I could see him on the ultrasound.”

“It’s a boy?” he asked, his voice filled with wonder.

“No,” she said hurriedly. “I mean, I don’t know that yet. It’s too soon, but it was so incredibly cool. I could actually see the baby inside me. I mean, it didn’t look too much like a baby yet, but it makes it even more real, you know. The doctor says I should be able to see even more next month.”

He fell silent. For a minute, she almost thought they’d been disconnected.

“Danny?”

“I’m here,” he said. “I was just thinking that I wish I’d been there, but that’s crazy, huh? I don’t have any right to be there.”

It was exactly the response she’d hoped for, and it gave her the courage to go on. “It’s your baby, too, no
matter what,” she told him emphatically. “I almost asked you to come with me, but, you know, after the way things went at Thanksgiving, I wasn’t sure I should.”

“I wish you had,” he admitted, then sighed heavily. “This is such a mess, Mary Louise. I know I got exactly what I said I wanted, the chance to stay here and finish college without all that responsibility, but it doesn’t seem right. I keep thinking about you going through this all alone, and it makes me crazy. I can’t concentrate, anyway. Maybe I should just forget about college for now.”

“No,” she said sharply. “We decided—”

“
You
decided,” he corrected. “I know you did it for my sake, but it’s not working out the way I thought it would. I can’t just pretend everything’s okay. Willie Ron was right. What kind of man lets his girl have his baby without marrying her? At the very least, the baby ought to have my name.”

“Danny, it’s okay. I understand. You need to finish college.” She drew in a breath and added, “And I don’t want to be married just for the baby’s sake. If we ever do get married, it has to be because we’re both ready and will try really hard to make it work.”

“I think we should talk about this next time I’m home,” he said. “Maybe we can find some sort of compromise.”

“Like what?” she asked skeptically.

“I don’t know, but there has to be something better than what we’re doing. I’ll call you when I’m coming home, okay? We’ll get together and see what we can come up with.”

Mary Louise didn’t want to get her hopes up, only
to have them dashed again. “Whatever,” she said, faking indifference.

“I love you,” he said quietly. “’Bye.”

“Oh, Danny,” she whispered. Only after he’d hung up did she add, “I love you, too.” Sometimes saying the words was just too painful.

Caleb knew he’d made a mess of things. Amanda was furious with him. The kids were totally confused. Big Max was slipping a bit more each day and was too blasted stubborn to reach out to the one person who meant something to him. It was enough of a disaster to make Caleb wonder if he hadn’t gone into the wrong line of work. How was he supposed to help anyone with their spiritual needs when he couldn’t keep his own life in order? He seemed to be failing everyone around him.

He’d prayed for guidance, but he knew in his heart that what happened next was going to depend on him doing some painful soul-searching of his own. He had to look back on his marriage and the reason it had fallen apart before he could begin to move on with Amanda the way he very much wanted to.

And by then it might be too late, he acknowledged candidly. There were too many secrets between them, and as a result she’d lost faith in him. He honestly couldn’t say he blamed her, no matter how he’d tried to defend himself against her accusations of betrayal.

“You look as if you’ve had a tough day,” Cord said when he found Caleb sitting in his office.

“Tough day, tough week,” Caleb replied. “Everything’s kind of blurring together.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Caleb regarded him with amusement. “Not particularly. And something tells me you didn’t come over here to listen to my problems.”

“No,” Cord agreed. “But I’m adaptable. Living with a woman like Dinah necessitates that.”

Caleb grinned. “Yes, I imagine it does.” He studied Cord thoughtfully. Maybe he could use some advice from this man who’d survived a few bumps in his
own
road to romance. “You two are really happy, aren’t you?”

Cord’s expression didn’t register the kind of delight Caleb had anticipated. Instead, he seemed to be thinking over the question.

“Most of the time,” Cord said eventually. “At the moment, we’re at odds over how much work she ought to be doing with a baby on the way. I figure she’ll end up in the hospital from overdoing it and I’ll be right there beside her from stressing out.”

Caleb laughed. “Then maybe you can use that time to sort out your differences.”

Cord shook his head. “No, we’ll just have more time to argue over which one of us was right.”

“With both of you being so stubborn, how
do
you work things out?” Caleb asked.

Cord studied him intently. “Is there some reason in particular you want to know?”

“Let’s just say I’m mixed up with a couple of hard-heads of my own.”

“Amanda and Big Max, I assume.”

Caleb regarded him with surprise. “You know about that?”

“Word gets around, especially when my wife, Mag
gie, Nadine and Amanda had an all-girls’ night while Josh and I were out of town.”

“Oh, brother,” Caleb muttered. “How bad did Amanda make me look?”

“Let’s just say you wouldn’t win any popularity polls with that crowd right now,” Cord teased. “Then again, they’re all romantics, so in the end I think they’re on your side.”

Caleb shook his head, marveling at the way women’s minds worked. “Good to know. Any advice?”

Cord leaned forward. “Here’s the way I see it. You know Amanda’s weak spot, right?”

“The children,” Caleb said at once.

“Exactly. And those kids adore you. Use that.”

“Isn’t that sort of sneaky and underhanded?” Caleb asked.

“Do you want the woman or not?” Cord responded.

“Oh, I want her,” Caleb admitted, ignoring all the very real questions about whether he could—or should—have her.

“Well, then…”

“I’ll think about it,” Caleb said, hating the idea that it might take sneaky and underhanded tactics to patch things up with a woman who deserved respect and admiration, to say nothing of a more straightforward approach. Of course, Amanda pretty much thought he was a sneak, anyway, so how much worse could things get?

Because he didn’t want to think about using such questionable tactics, he changed the subject. “Why did you come over here in the first place, Cord? Don’t tell me you were sent to scope out the enemy.”

Cord chuckled. “No way. I try my best to decline that
kind of mission. I’m here to talk about the new low-income housing project. George found some land. He’s put in an offer and I’m fairly certain it will be accepted. Do you think we can get the volunteers to start working on donations of building supplies soon? We’ll need to line up a crew, too. I don’t want to get too far ahead of ourselves, but I don’t want to waste time once the land deal goes through. If we have a mild winter, we might be able to get moving right after the holidays.”

“I agree. I’ll mention it in church on Sunday,” Caleb promised. “Maybe we can get an organizational meeting set up for next Saturday. Can you be there?”

“Absolutely.”

“And Josh?”

“I’ll see that he’s there, though I’m thinking that maybe I should bring Tommy Lee in on this. Josh is pretty tied up in Atlanta these days and I think Tommy Lee needs something to tackle on his own.”

Caleb studied him thoughtfully. “You’re talking about Dinah’s brother, right?”

Cord nodded. “Tommy Lee Davis, right. He’s turned into a real asset for Beaufort Construction. And of course, if Tommy Lee’s in charge, it pretty much guarantees that Mrs. Davis will throw her heart into fund-raising for this.”

“Speaking of sneaky,” Caleb said, though this time the accusation was said with admiration.

“I do what I can,” Cord acknowledged. “Now, let me get out of here. I haven’t seen my wife all week. I need to see what sort of trouble she’s managed to get herself into while I’ve been away. I’ll be in touch to make sure we’re on for next Saturday.”

“Thanks, Cord.”

After Cord had gone, Caleb went back to his musings about Amanda and Big Max. He’d literally run out of ideas for pushing the two of them back together short of telling her the truth, that her father had Alzheimer’s. Maybe the time for that revelation was going to come sooner than he thought.

In the meantime, though, Cord’s comment about getting to Amanda through the kids kept popping back into his head. Would it be so wrong, especially when he missed those kids every bit as much as he knew they missed him?

Okay, yes, it would be wrong. But he knew he was going to do it, anyway. He
had
made a promise to them that he wouldn’t disappear from their lives. He didn’t take that lightly. If that put him in proximity to Amanda, then that was just a very desirable bonus.

When Caleb turned up on Amanda’s doorstep just before dinnertime on Friday, a part of her wanted to send him away. In fact, she wanted to scream and shout at him in a way that shocked her. She never let her temper get the better of her. And Caleb was the last man she’d ever expected to inspire such passionate fury.

But before she could utter any of the outraged words on the tip of her tongue, Susie caught sight of Caleb and screamed excitedly as she raced into the living room.

“Mr. Caleb, you came to see us!” she said, flinging herself into his arms and peppering his face with kisses.

Amanda heaved a resigned sigh and stepped aside to let him in. He gave her an apologetic look, but she didn’t think there was much sincerity behind it. He
probably counted on using the kids to get around her desire to keep him at arm’s length.

Jimmy and Larry appeared just then, every bit as ecstatic as Susie to see Caleb.

“Can we play ball?” Jimmy asked. “I wanna learn to pitch.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” Caleb said, then quickly amended, “if it’s okay with your mom.”

“Of course,” Amanda said, knowing she’d have a mutiny on her hands if she refused. “But only for a half hour. Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Can Mr. Caleb stay?” Susie asked. “Please!”

“Yeah, please, Mom,” Larry said.

She exchanged a look with Caleb, hoping he could interpret it. She was not happy about this end run of his. She added it to the list of reasons she had for wanting to scream.

“Fine,” she said tightly. “He can stay.”

She whirled around and headed for the kitchen before she exploded and said something in front of the kids she’d later regret.

Certain that Caleb would be wise enough to bypass the kitchen on his way outside, she was surprised when he appeared in the doorway.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You seem to be sorry about a lot these days,” she said, wishing that her heart didn’t ache at the sight of him.

“I can’t deny that,” he agreed. “But I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by showing up here. It’s just that I made a promise to the kids. I didn’t want to break my word.”

“Which is the only reason I didn’t toss you right back out of here on your backside,” she retorted. “Next time, clear your visit with me ahead of time, okay?”

He nodded. “Are you ever going to forgive me, Amanda?”

She met his gaze. “I’m not entirely sure.”

“What will it take to make up your mind?”

“Maybe a few less sneak attacks like tonight,” she said.

He didn’t look especially guilty. “Drastic times call for drastic measures.”

“Which suggests you didn’t mean a word of that apology a minute ago,” she concluded.

“No, I meant it,” he insisted. “I’m sorry it’s come to this between us. You know I care about you, Amanda.”

“You care about a lot of people. That’s your job.”

“It’s not the same, and you know it,” he said defensively.

“Oh? How is it so different?” she asked, then added with bitter sarcasm, “Oh, wait. I think I know. You would never betray them the way you did me.”

He looked genuinely wounded by her accusation. “I didn’t betray you,” he repeated with barely disguised indignation. “I was trying to help two people I care about, two people who also care about each other, even if they
are
too stubborn to admit it. That’s not a crime.”