Wagon Train Sisters (Women of the West) (15 page)

Sarah headed home. Funny how Anming said someday she’d repay her. She seemed so sure. Nice of her to say it, but that would never happen. They would never meet again.

Serving breakfast to the miners next morning, Sarah listened for any mention of a Chinese slave girl who’d escaped the cribs and how Au Fung was searching for the doomed person who’d helped her. Nothing. Just the usual talk about the newest gold find and what lucky fellow had just made his fortune. Li remained his usual silent self. Only once did he speak to her. It sounded like “Gel orait” which maybe meant “Girl all right,” but she wasn’t sure.

After last night’s astonishing deed, she was bursting to tell, but so far had managed to stifle herself. Ma would be horrified at the chance she took. Becky would think she was crazy. Only Jack would understand. He’d soon be leaving, though, and she shouldn’t be thinking about him anymore. Even so, she missed him and heartily wished he was here for her to confide in, tell him of the remarkable feat she’d accomplished, brag a little so she could see the admiration in his eyes.

When she went home at noon, she discovered her wish had been granted. The three gold seekers had returned. Jack had gone to his tent. Pa and Hiram, both with scroungy beards, looking exhausted, sat by the campfire. Hiram had something to show them. While Sarah, Ma, and Becky looked on, he took a small bag from his pocket and pulled out a nugget the size of a walnut. “See what I found?” His eye held a triumphant gleam.

Becky clapped her hands in delight. “How much is it worth?” Sarah had never seen her so animated.

“Not sure, maybe about two thousand dollars.” A smile spread over Hiram’s face. “And there’s more where it came from.”

Becky frowned. “There’s enough to buy a farm, isn’t there? We don’t need more. It’s time we left for Mokelumne City.”

“We’ll talk about it later.” Hiram walked away. No surprise. He’d do anything rather than have a confrontation with his wife.

Sarah felt sorry for Pa. She had almost asked if he, too, had been lucky, but wisely did not. Only Hiram had made a fabulous find. Her downcast father produced a small bag of gold dust from his pocket worth practically nothing.

Despite the excitement of Hiram’s find, Sarah couldn’t keep her thoughts off Jack. As soon as she could, she excused herself, said she was going for a walk. Except for the one visit to Jack’s tent late that night, she’d stayed away. A lady didn’t visit a man’s home unaccompanied, be it tent or mansion, or what might people think? Today she didn’t care what they thought. A sense of urgency drove her as she headed for Jack’s secluded tent, forcing herself to walk, not run. When she arrived, she found him outside, bending over a basin, lather on his face, razor in hand, stripped to the waist. She ached for his touch at sight of his wide shoulders, the ripple of muscles on his chest where the gold ring and chain nestled amidst a triangle of crisp black hairs. She stopped to catch her breath, forced herself to sound normal. “Good afternoon, Mr. McCoy. I see you’re back.”

He looked up from the basin. “
Sarah
.” He grabbed a towel and strode toward her, wiping the lather away. When he reached her, he flung aside the towel and swept her into his arms. “I missed you,” he whispered into her hair.

Her heart lurched madly as she pressed against his naked chest. His body heat flowed through her, stirring the hunger. “I missed you, too.” She raised her lips to be kissed. He groaned beneath his breath, settled his mouth on hers. After a burning kiss, he left a trail of kisses down her cheek to the hollow in her neck. She moaned and tilted her neck back, drowning in the taste, feel, scent of him.

He pulled away and said in a ragged breath, “We’d better go inside.”

“I guess we’d better.” Her voice sounded strange to her own ears. Not her ordinary voice at all, but a voice quivering with desire. This wasn’t just passion. Until this moment, she never realized how much she wanted this man—loved this man.

He led her into his tent and let down the flap.

* * * *

Afterward, lying naked in Jack’s arms, Sarah sighed in pleasant exhaustion. This time there’d been no gentle interlude. A hot tide of passion had raged through them both. They’d gone after each other with such unrestrained hunger they now lay drained but completely satisfied. She raised up on one elbow and peered down at him. “That was…very nice.”

He raised a hand to her cheek and gave her his devastating grin. “Only nice?”

“You know what I mean.” She waited for him to speak. Now was the time for him to announce how much he loved her, how much he wanted them to be together for the rest of their lives. Maybe she should speak first, pour her heart out, let him know she was his forever, and there would never be another man in her life, only Jack McCoy. But no. A warning voice within her kept her from speaking. That night in the restaurant, he had said he had feelings for her, that he wanted her, but tonight, passionate and loving though he’d been, he never mentioned the word love, never said a word about their future.

The remains of their passion ebbed away. They lay talking, but of ordinary things. He told her about the hardships he, Pa, and Hiram endured while they worked their claims. He was happy for Hiram, and, no, he himself hadn’t been that lucky. When she told him how she’d outwitted Au Fung and helped the Chinese slave girl escape, he sat up and stared at her in amazement. “You did it all yourself?”

“You’re surprised?”

The look he gave her brimmed with approval, admiration, and—she couldn’t be mistaken—love shining warm and tender in his eyes. Jack loved her, she was sure of it, but until he spoke up and said so, she’d go to her grave before she revealed her feelings for him.

Tension filled the air when Sarah returned to her campsite. Her parents were unusually silent. Becky’s face was a thundercloud. Hiram wasn’t around. He’d taken refuge in their wagon, his usual behavior when they had an argument. Her heart sank when Pa asked Sarah to sit down, he had something to tell her. Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good.

Pa began with a rambling description of how hard he’d worked at the claim and all the hardships he’d gone through. His right hip hurt. He’d twisted his left knee and could hardly walk. He was covered with sand flea bites. “So I’m done here, Sarah. I’ve had enough of this searching for gold. It’s a young man’s game, and I’m too old. In the morning we leave for Mokelumne City.”

Becky nodded in agreement. “It’s time we left. Hiram has discovered enough gold that we can buy our own farm. That’s all I want. Why he wants to stay is beyond me.”

From the wagon, Hiram overheard. His expression troubled, he climbed down and painfully limped to where they were sitting. “Don’t you see, Becky, this is just the beginning. There’s got to be more in that ravine where I found the nugget. I want to go back up there—”

“I’ve had enough of this sinful town!” Becky’s eyes sparked. “You’re a cripple. You have no business climbing around mountains in the state you’re in. How you found that nugget, I’ll never know, but I doubt you’ll ever find another.”

Hiram opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again. Heaving a dispirited sigh, he walked away, leaving Sarah to stifle her anger once again. Why couldn’t he ever get his way? Crippled though he was, he’d found that nugget. Of course he wanted to look for more, and Becky should be keeping her mouth shut.
And I don’t want to go to Mokelumne City either.
She looked at Pa. “Are you sure? What about my job?”

Pa shrugged. “You’ll give it up. I never approved of a daughter of mine working in a restaurant as if she were some servant girl. Or working anywhere, for that matter.”

Ma said gently, “We know you enjoyed it, but it wasn’t very ladylike. Just think, when we get to Mokelumne City, we can live in a real house again with real beds to sleep in, a real table to eat on, and our very own privy in the yard. We’ll attend a real church on Sunday. You’ll have your books and watercolors. If there isn’t a Thursday Afternoon Ladies’ Club, we’ll form one ourselves.”

Dear God, that sounds horrible
. She didn’t want to hurt her parents’ feelings, but she must be truthful. “I don’t want to leave. I like it here. I could even open my own restaurant.”

“What?”
Both Ma and Pa gazed at her wide-eyed.

“It isn’t that I don’t want to be with you. It’s just…” How to explain? “I love living in a mining town. Fort Wayne, Indiana seems so dull now, and Mokelumne City would be the same.”

Ma and Pa were staring at her like she was speaking Greek.

In frustration, Sarah threw up her hands. “Don’t you see? It’s all so exciting. Seeing a miner make a fortune overnight, meeting people from all over the world. I love the constant excitement on the streets. Even the fights breaking out are thrilling. Haven’t you caught the reckless atmosphere? In Gold Creek, people don’t live by ordinary rules. They don’t care. It’s like…live today for tomorrow you may die. Each day is different. You never know what’s going to happen. Maybe somebody will get shot or find a gold nugget the size of a melon. It’s all so…so…” Her parents kept looking at her in disbelief. “Don’t you see what I mean? I won’t find any of this in Mokelumne City.”

They did not see what she meant. After a long, heavy silence, Pa remarked, “That’s all very well and good, Sarah, but do you really want to abandon your family?”

Of course she didn’t want to leave her family. She, the dutiful daughter who always did as she was told. “I’ll think about it.”

“Give it some careful thought.” Pa’s lips pressed together in disapproval. “I strongly suggest you forget this…this fantasy and come to your senses.”

She fled to her tent. She wasn’t lying. She loved working in the restaurant, loved the excitement of Gold Creek. What she hadn’t said was that she loved Jack McCoy and didn’t want to leave him. Maybe she was being stupid and foolish. He had just made love to her in the most passionate way she’d ever known, yet he hadn’t said he loved her. She was positive he did, but why hadn’t he said so?

It was almost time to leave for the restaurant. She would talk to Jack when she got home. But what could she say? Never would she throw herself at his feet and beg him to marry her. What on earth was wrong with the man? She ought to forget the whole thing, go to Mokelumne City like a good daughter should, but no, she would talk to him one more time.

* * * *

Occupants of the camp were settling in for the night and paid no attention to Sarah as she passed on her way to Jack’s tent. He was sitting by his campfire, coffee cup in hand, doing nothing but staring into the darkness.

“Hello,” she said.

“I’ve been expecting you.” He spoke in an odd yet gentle tone. “Come sit down. Want some coffee?”

“No, thank you.” She sat across and took her time before she spoke. “I suppose you’ve heard?”

He inclined his head slightly. “Your Pa has had enough of the goldfields. Well, I don’t blame him. Men far younger have given up the struggle. He’ll be much happier in…where are you going? Oh, yes, Mokelumne City. I suppose you’re going, too.” His voice held an undertone of resignation, as if he was sorry she was going but would do nothing to stop her.

“I might go. I haven’t decided.” Good. She sounded perfectly casual, as if she didn’t care one way or the other.

He sat in silence until a faint smile ruffled his mouth. “You know I don’t want you to go.”

“Really?” She raised an inquiring eyebrow. “How am I supposed to know that? You’ve never said so and you say you’re leaving.”

He spent more time in silence before he drew a deep breath. “With one exception, in my whole life, I’ve never met a woman remotely similar to you. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”

Her heart jumped. He’d said the words she longed to hear. Before she could respond, he continued, “How could I not love you? You’re pretty. You’re smart. You’ve got spunk. You’re generous and kind. You’re everything a woman ought to be. Since I met you, you’ve ruined my sleep at night. I’m a man possessed. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

She had to restrain herself, be a casual listener when all she wanted was to fling herself into his arms and declare her love. “Why have you never told me?”

“I’ve never told you because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not like other men. I could never give you what you need.”

“So what is it you think I need?” Keeping the ache and longing from her voice wasn’t easy, but she managed.

“You need what every woman needs—a home, children, security. I can never give you those things. What would I do if I came with you to Mokelumne City? Become a farmer? Can you picture me behind a plow?”

She had to smile at the image of tough, independent Jack McCoy plodding behind a horse up and down the furrows. “You could open a business.”

It was his turn to smile. “And do what? Spend my time being nice to the customers? Get my excitement from counting the daily receipts?” He shook his head ruefully. “I can never settle down. I was meant to be a wanderer, and wanderers don’t make good husbands. I can’t do that to you, much as I—” His voice broke. “God, I’m going to miss you.” He strode to where she was sitting, knelt before her and grasped her hands. “It’ll kill me to lose you, but you’d never be happy with me. Can you understand?”

That settled it. She would not go to Mokelumne City. She would stay here on her own
.
Up to this moment, she’d toyed with the idea, never quite serious, but now she was. And why couldn’t it happen? She didn’t have to stay with her parents. She was an adult, capable of making her own living. She bent toward Jack, gazing deep into his dark, pleading eyes. “What if I decided to stay in Gold Creek? I’m making my own money now. I wouldn’t be dependent on you or anyone else.” The more she thought, the more she liked the idea. “I might even start a business of my own like Beatrice did.” She laughed and tossed her head. “And you, Jack McCoy, wouldn’t have a word to say about it.”

He didn’t join in her laughter. His face clouded with doubt. “You have every right to do what you please, but I might not always be here—”

“You let me worry about that.” A weight lifted from her heart. She’d found the perfect solution. More than once, she’d thought about starting her own restaurant like Beatrice had done. In booming Gold Creek, no business was a failure, so she’d be sure to succeed. More important, she now knew Jack loved her. Something in his past held him back, but with enough time, she’d find out what it was. When she did, she would fix it, and Jack would be hers.
What a childish idea
. She laughed to herself. What folly to think she, a mere woman, could change a man’s life, and yet…why not? She could do it. She
would
do it. She’d lived her life with somebody else telling her what to do. Not anymore. Her entire future had just changed. From now on, she’d make her own way in the world. Nothing was impossible.