Vegas to Varanasi (Fortytude Series Book 1) (5 page)

Seven

At the end of a long Friday, I pull into the garage, looking forward to a glass of wine and some reading. The kids are out tonight, and David will surely be holed up in the office. As I put the key in the door, I consider calling Julia to see if she wants to meet for dinner and a drink. I need to talk. Kiran has been creeping into my head and residing there, and I’m not sure I like it.

When I enter the kitchen, David is sitting at the table, which is set for the two of us, and something in the oven smells divine. I set my purse and keys on the counter. “What’s all this?”

David pours a glass of Cabernet and brings it to me. “It’s an apology.” Then he kisses me. A slow, tender kiss.

A smile spreads across my face. “I’ve missed those.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He kisses me again, deeply, and his hand roams underneath my shirt. “I’ve got plans for you later.”

“Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.” I say it playfully, but deep down...

My remark stops him and he caresses my jaw with his thumb. He looks as if he will say something in response, but instead he leads me to the kitchen table. We sit and he takes my hands. “I’ve been kind of a mess lately. I see that now. It’s time for me to take a break from the book. Step back for a while.”

“You don’t have to do that. I know how important that part of your life is to you.”
What the hell am I saying?
“It’s just... I need to be a part of your life, too. That’s all.”

He kisses my hand before walking to the stove. “Well, it’s time I got my head out of my ass.” He opens the oven to check on a dish.

“What’s cooking in there?”

“Beef Wellington,” he says proudly.

“It smells fantastic. What can I do?”

“Absolutely nothing. Just sit there, drink your wine, and look pretty.”

I laugh and shake my head. “I think I can handle that. At least the drinking part.” This is the David I fell in love with. Relaxed, happy, in the moment. As he works at the stove, I come up behind him and put my arms around his waist. “Thank you. This was very sweet. And a welcome surprise at the end of the week.”

“We’ll see how good of a surprise it is after you taste it. I’ve never made this before.”

“I’m sure it’ll be delicious. How did your day go?”

“Fine.” He smiles, tight-lipped. “How about you?”

“Oh, you’re not gonna believe this.” I return to my drink and take off my Crocs. “Remember that guy I told you about at the reception? The one I went to high school with?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s the son of one of my patients. Came with her on her visit today.”

“You’re kidding. Guess it
is
a small world sometimes, eh?”

“Yeah... small world.”

David slices up the Wellington and places a piece on each of our plates, along with some steamed carrots. I’ve never had the dish before, but the beef looks really,
really
rare. I can eat a steak when it’s kind of red, but not bleeding. This meat looks like it was freshly sliced off the cow. And the pastry around it? It’s all soggy.

We sit in silence for a bit, and I take a bite of the carrots and smile at him. “The carrots are very tasty!”

Ugh, I do not want to eat that Wellington.

David cuts off a small piece to sample the beef, making the red juices gush from inside it. He drops his fork on his plate and laughs. “I can’t do it. This is repulsive.”

Thank you, Lord!

“It looks like it was pretty complicated to make,” I say to make him feel better. I would suggest sticking it back in the oven, but don’t think there will be any saving the pastry.

“Should we just order some pizza?”

“Please.”

***

David plops a slice of supreme pizza onto his paper plate and licks his fingers. “I think I need to give up on this pipe dream of writing a book.”

I’m just about to take a bite of my pizza, but his sudden admission makes me freeze with the piece halfway to my mouth. “Why?”

“Because it’s impossible. I don’t know whatever made me think I could write a thriller. Or write anything for that matter.”

I’ll be honest. My first impulse is to completely encourage this line of thinking. Living with a David who doesn’t spend hours upon hours locked up in a room typing sounds quite appealing. But to sway him to give up his dream and chuck it all because he’s a little disheartened? Don’t think that would be very big of me.

Yet, what if he truly sucks? He’s never let me lay eyes on a single page of his work, and what if it’s awful? I don’t think that’s very likely, given what an avid reader he is. Someone who reads that much should be able to tell if their own writing at least has promise, shouldn’t they?

I take the bite of my pizza, then set the slice down. “David, this is part of your problem.” I turn and sit cross-legged on the sofa to face him. “You’re a person of extremes, and you’ve let this consume you. Does it have to be that way? I mean, I thought you write because it makes you happy. If it’s not making you happy, then ease up some. Take a break like you said, but don’t just give up altogether.”

He stares at me and purses his lips. Setting his plate next to mine on the table, the corners of his mouth curve up.

“Wha-a-a-a-t are you thinking about?” I ask slowly.

He creeps over to me like some kind of wild animal about to pounce. “I’m thinking I need to do everything in my power to rock your world tonight,” he says before stretching out on top of me.

I chuckle at his method of seduction. David’s way to my heart has always been to make me laugh.

He tries to kiss me, but I put my finger over his mouth. “First, I want you to agree to something for me.”

“Whum?” he mumbles.

“Can I please,
please
read some of your book? Even just a little?” I have to know if he’s wasting his time, or if he truly has talent. Plus, it kind of hurts my feelings that he’s never been willing to let me read any of it.

A pained, apprehensive expression is his first response. “I don’t know, Anna...”

“Please? For me?” I bat my eyelashes at him.

“Agh, fine!”

“Yay!” I try to clap my hands, but it’s kind of hard the way he has me pinned underneath him.

He stops smiling and gazes down at me. “You know, I am so thankful for that fucked up knee of mine, otherwise I never would have met you.”

Eight

Julia and I are checking out the new model homes that have just opened in the neighborhood. We’re both HGTV addicts and love to inspect the models for decorating ideas. Of course, the ideas we find are always way out of our budget.

“I like how they’ve made the carpeting look like a rug in the center of the wood flooring here, but then again, it kinda limits furniture arrangement,” I say.

“You got a point,” Julia says as she wanders through an archway. “Oh my God, Anna! Get in here!” I follow her to the kitchen to find her drooling over a Tuscan stove recessed within a stone worked arch. “Do you not love this?”

“It’s... It’s beautiful!” I place my hand over my heart before taking out my cell phone to snap a picture. “Not that I could afford it, and my kitchen can’t accommodate one, but you could totally get one installed in yours.”

“Are you kidding? Derek would have a cow if I suggested spending money on something like this. Especially after all we just spent on the wedding.” She lightly runs her fingers over the stove, followed by the stonework. “Oh my, but you are lovely, aren’t you?”

“Shall I leave you two alone?”

“No, but I do want to hear about your time alone with David last night.” She grins and wiggles her eyebrows.

No one else is in the house with us, which is why we’re conversing as if we’re in our own home.

“All I can say is, after nearly a month of no boinking, it was quite... explosive.”

We continue down the hallway to admire the bedrooms. “He makes you a gourmet dinner—”

“
Attempted
gourmet dinner. God love ’em.”

“... Followed by explosive boinking. Sounds like a night to remem—”

We round a corner and stand face to face with a young couple and their little boy.

Julia’s mouth drops open. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry,” she whispers. I step backward out of view and stand against the wall with my eyes closed, trying to keep from laughing.

“It’s, uh, it’s okay,” I hear the man say.

“Daddy, what’s explosive boinking?” the boy asks.

“Never mind!”

The family passes me in the hallway and the woman gives me a
Thanks a lot!
glare.

“Sorry.” I keep my eyes lowered.

Julia waits until we hear the front door close. “Oh my hell.”

“Gah! Way to use your inside voice.”

“What?” We enter a master closet the size of my bedroom. “I wasn’t the only one who thought we were alone. These houses are so cavernous, there’s no evidence anyone’s in here until you’re right up on them.”

“Clearly.”

We gaze in awe at the number of racks, built-ins, and shelves made of cherry wood. “Can you even imagine having enough clothes to fill a closet like this?” Julia asks.

My latest Kohl’s excursion comes to mind. “No.”

“And you’re a Skinny Minnie. Picture what it’s like for someone like me to find clothes.” Julia is a plus size gal, but like Geena, knows how to purchase clothing that most flatters her. Some people just have a knack. Or maybe it’s because I know what a lovely person she is, so all I see when I look at Julia is an open heart and rosy complexion.

“It would be nice to have a closet like this,” I say. “But you know what comes to mind when I see all this dark wood?”

She raises her eyebrows.

“Dust. Dust collecting on all these shelves. Unless a housekeeper comes with them, forget it.”

“I hear ya, sister.”

Julia and I return to the bedroom, and she disappears down the hallway before quickly coming back.

“What are you doing?”

“Checking to make sure the coast is clear.” She sits on the edge of the bed and pats the spot next to her.

I look uncertainly around the room before sitting down. “You’re weirding me out. You don’t have some fantasy involving girl on girl action in a model home, do you?”

“Eww, no!” She wrinkles her nose. “It’s just... you know I think David’s a great guy and all, and I want things to work out.” She takes my hand. “But you need to take this alcohol thing seriously, okay?”

“I will... I do.”

“I mean it.”

“So do I.” I squeeze her hand to let her know I appreciate her concern. I thought I would be okay talking this over with her, but I’m not. The reclusiveness, the drinking, the unhealthy fixation with Jason Bourne-a-be. It’s downright depressing, and I guess I don’t want her to worry.

Despite David’s claim he’s going to turn things around, for some reason, I’m not all that optimistic.

Nine

About once a month, I try to have Luke and Richard over for a movie night with the kids. Sure, it’s kind of cheesy, given how old Hayden and Carly are, but we’ve been doing it for a few years, and surprisingly, the kids have yet to bow out.

Tonight the selection is
Shaun of the Dead
. Luke and I have always shared a love for stupid, cornball movies. However, getting everyone else on board can be difficult. Richard likes artsy films, stuff that’s Oscar-nominated and usually nothing I’ve ever heard of. For Hayden, think anything with Jason Statham, the Rock, or Tom Cruise. And Carly, unfortunately, likes horror movies. I can’t stand horror and can barely watch the trailers in the theater.

David is normally up for anything, but he hasn’t joined us the past couple times and, I assume, has no intention of doing so tonight.

“Lord, which one of you two made the selection tonight?” Richard asks me and Luke. “I know it wasn’t the kids.”

Joining them on the sofa, I raise my hand. “That would be me,” I admit and pass them a bowl of popcorn.

Richard is twelve years older than Luke and me, so there’s a bit of a generational gap as far as what we find engaging. “Anna, I’m determined to convert you into a person who can appreciate a film that makes you think.”

Rolling my eyes, I glance at Luke. “Well, that wasn’t the least bit pretentious.”

Snuggled up against Hayden in the loveseat, Tessa laughs. The cooking dinner thing must have worked, despite Carly’s lack of faith in her brother.

“Besides,” I continue, “I can appreciate a movie that makes me think, but maybe I just want to be entertained.”

“That’s right,” Luke agrees. “Laughing is just as important, you old fart.”

“Well, since you guys are making me endure zombie humor,” Richard says, grabbing Luke’s knee, “next time it’s my pick, I’ll bring
Million Dollar Baby
.”

“Ugh, no! Not unless you wanna see me curl up in the fetal position and weep uncontrollably.”

“Mom, you weep uncontrollably watching
The Lion King
,” Hayden says.

“And your point is?”

David wanders out from the back room, and for a moment I’m encouraged by the possibility he may join us. “So what are we watching tonight?” His eyes are trained on the TV.

“
Shaun of the Dead
,” Carly replies.

“Now
that’s
a classic!”

“You, too?” Richard scoffs before he gets up from his seat. “I’m going to need some more wine for this.”

“I was just heading to the kitchen for a refill myself,” David says.

And there we have it.

After the two of them leave the room, Luke smiles and pinches me on the cheek.
Brother!
Now I’m getting sympathy cheek pinches.

The five of us watch the movie quietly. When they return, Richard takes his seat next to Luke, but David hovers at the side of the room with his wine glass, rocking in place on his heels.

“Are you going to stay and watch with us, sweetie? Come over here by me.” I pat a spot beside me. “We can squeeze in and make more room.”

“Ah, thanks, but I’ve got work to do.”

Writing is not your work.

“Aw, come on,” Carly persuades. “Take a break. You’ve missed the past few.”

An indistinguishable sound comes from his mouth and he scratches his cheek. “Next time. I promise. You all enjoy the movie.” He gives me a wink before he walks back to the office.

While keeping his eyes on the TV, Luke affectionately taps his knee to mine and Carly gives me a sad smile. It would be nice if I were the only one here who sees the awkwardness in the situation, but I guess that would be too much to ask.

After the movie ends, we laze around a bit longer, talking about nothing in particular. However, Carly has disappeared to the back of the house and is talking with David. I can’t make out what they’re saying, but his voice is rising. It’s hard to tell if they’re joking around or if there’s a disagreement taking place.

Apparently, I’m not the only one who notices. Hayden whispers something to Tessa, and they stand up. “It’s getting late. I’m gonna give Tessa a ride home.”

“Oh, okay. I’m glad you could join us again, Tessa.”

“Thank you for having me,” she says. “I had a great time. Loved the movie.”

“I knew you had good taste.” I give her a hug.

Now Carly’s voice is getting a bit louder, and Hayden and Tessa can’t get out the door fast enough. Richard taps Luke’s leg with the back of his hand and they are suddenly shuffling to make their departure as well. “We should be getting a move on, too,” Richard says.

I nod slightly. “Sure. It was fun, like always.”

“And the movie was much better than I expected,” he adds as he kisses my cheek.

I laugh, and then Luke gives me a kiss good-bye. “Call me if you wanna talk.”

After locking the front door behind them, I venture to the office to find out what’s going on. Carly is standing in the doorway with a hand on her hip, and David leans back in his chair facing her, but avoiding her eyes.

“Everything okay back here?” I look from one to the other, but both of them have clammed up. “You guys managed to chase everyone out with your... whatever this is.”

Carly’s eyes flick from David to me, then back to David. She fingers the necklace around her throat. “David, tell her.”

“Why don’t you?” He smiles and shifts in his chair. “You seem to have everything figured out.” The amusement in his voice doesn’t conceal the bite of his words.

Carly raises her eyebrows at him before turning to me. She opens her mouth, but nothing will come out.

“Would somebody please tell me what is going on?”

“I resigned my position at the university,” David blurts.

My head flinches back. “You did? Why would you do that?”

He leans forward on his knees and suppresses a grin. “I got offered a position as an editor with a publishing house... who also accepted my manuscript.”

“You knew about this?” I ask Carly, trying to absorb this new information.

Carly drops the pendant on her necklace she’d been holding between her lips. “No! I’d heard rumors on campus that David was leaving, and I just now asked him about it.”

My stomach clenches. “Why haven’t you told me about any of this? I didn’t even know you’d been submitting your book for publication.”

David rubs his hands down his legs. “I thought you might freak out, and I didn’t know how to tell you yet.”

Freak out. Ya think?
“Look, I’m trying to be happy for you right now, but having a little trouble with the fact that you told me
nothing
of any of this. And then you go and resign a tenured position without even discussing it with me? How would you feel if I made a decision like that without as much as a word to you?”

David stares blankly at me, as if he doesn’t have the first clue how to respond to my question.

Carly, who has been lingering in the doorway near me, takes a few steps into the room so she is standing between us. “Okay, maybe this isn’t my place, but I think we’re losing sight of what’s most important here.” She turns a concerned eye on him. “David... you have a drinking problem, and we’re worried about you.”

He chuckles and his face reddens. “You’re right. It
isn’t
your place.”

Heat flushes through my body, and my nails dig into my palms.

She doesn’t seem fazed and peers at his wine glass. “How many glasses did you already have when you came out for your refill?”

“I’m afraid you don’t know what you’re talking about.” David’s voice is controlled. “For God’s sake, you’re just a child.”

“David!” I can’t believe he’s being so condescending.

Carly stares at him for a moment and bites her bottom lip, then turns to me. “I’m going to bed. I’ve got an early class in the morning.”

“Carly...” I say as she leaves. Then I whip back to face him.

David looks away and scrubs a hand over his face.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” My voice is shaking. “You know how much she thinks of you. She’s just worried and you’re being a total shit!”

“I know. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.”

“Well, you need to say that to
her
.”

“I will.”

I pull up the harvest chair from the corner of the room and move it beside him. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing!” He throws up his hands. “Nothing is going on with me. And I don’t know why you guys can’t just be happy for me. This is great news.”

“Maybe we
could
be happy for you if you haven’t been acting so erratically. You tell me you’re almost finished with the book, when clearly you already were. Then you say you’re going to quit writing. Next, you’re gonna let me read some of it. Then before I know it, you’ve quit your job, a stable job, I might add, for something that may not be permanent...”

He shakes his head at me. “What do you want me to say, Anna?”

I’m at a loss for words from his attitude and back away. “You seriously don’t find any of this bothersome?”

“Honestly? No, I don’t.” He crosses his arms and looks somewhere past me.

“What about the drinking?”

“Oh my God!” He jumps out of his chair. “For the last time, I do not have a drinking problem.”

I say nothing in response, but instead rub my forehead.

“Do you want me to move out?”

“What?” My eyes dart to his face. “Why would you say that?”

David is unnaturally still. “Because I’m beginning to feel like this entire family thinks I’m a drunken, irrational loser.”

I’m tempted to say, “If you want to leave, then leave,” because right now it just feels like he’s turning our concern into an attack so he can rationalize a way out, rather than admit he’s got some issues.

“I’m tired, David. I’m going to bed.”

“Fine.”

I swallow hard, hesitating. Then I leave the room.

Once I crawl into bed, I turn my back toward his side, and cry. I consider going to Carly’s room to check on her, but I’m a mess right now myself and don’t want her worrying more than she already is.

A half hour later, I’m still awake when David enters and heads straight for the bathroom to brush his teeth. I need to change position since I’m still lying on the same side, but can’t face him when he comes back in. So I stay put and pretend to be sleeping.

David climbs into bed, and I secretly hope he’ll put his arm around me and tell me he’s sorry. Sure, he’s said it before when it comes to all this craziness, but at least maybe we could talk rationally now that we’ve both calmed down.

He stays on the other side, his back to me, and falls asleep.