Upon a Sea of Stars (59 page)

Hall of Fame

SONYA GRIMES
was unpacking. Grimes watched her contentedly. She was back at last from her galactic cruise, and the apartment was no longer just a place in which to live after a fashion, in which to eat lonely meals, in which to sleep in a lonely bed. It was, once more, home.

She asked lightly, “And have you been
good
while I’ve been away?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation, bending the truth only slightly. There had been that girl on Mellise, of course, but it had all been in the line of duty. A reminiscent grin softened his craggy features. “So good, in fact, that I was given the honorary rank of Admiral on Tharn . . .”

She laughed. “Then I’d better give you something too, my dear. Something I know you’ll like . . .” She fell gracefully to her knees beside a suitcase that she had not yet opened, unsnapped and lifted up the lid, plunged a slender hand into a froth of gossamer undergarments. “Ah, here it is. I didn’t want it to get broken . . .”

It
was a leather case and, although it obviously had been well cared for, it was worn and cracked, was ancient rather than merely old. The Commodore took it carefully from his wife, looked at it with some puzzlement. Its shape was clue enough to what it contained, but Grimes had never guessed that such homely and familiar masculine accessories could ever possess any value other than a strictly utilitarian one.

“Open it!” she urged.

Grimes opened the case, stared in some bewilderment at the meerschaum pipe that was revealed, archaic and fragile in its nest of faded plush.

“There was a little shop in Baker Street,” she said, speaking rapidly. “An antique shop. They had this. I knew you’d like it . . .”

“Baker Street . . .” he repeated. “In London? On Earth?”

“Of course, John. And you
know
who lived there . . .”

Yes,
thought Grimes.
I know who lived there. And he smoked a pipe, and he wore something called a deerstalker hat. The only trouble is that he never lived at all in real life. Oh Sonya, Sonya, they must have seen you coming. And how much did you pay for . . . this?

“Think of it,” she went on. “Sherlock Holmes’s own pipe . . .”

“Fantastic.”

“You don’t like it?” Neither of them was a true telepath, but each was quick to sense the mood of the other. “You don’t like it?”

“I do,” he lied. But was it a lie? The thought behind the gift was more important, much more important than the gift itself. “I do,” he said, and this time there was no smallest hint of insincerity in his voice. He put the precious pipe down carefully on the coffee table. “But you’ve brought yourself back, and you’re worth more to me than Sherlock Holmes’s pipe, or Julius Caesar’s bloodstained toga, or King Solomon’s mines. Come here, woman!”

“That’s an odd-looking weapon you’ve got, Grimes,” remarked Admiral Kravinsky.

The Commodore laughed. “Yes, and there’s quite a story attached to it, sir. Sonya bought it for me in London—and you’d think that a woman who holds a commission in the Intelligence Branch of the Survey Service would have more intelligence than to be taken in by phony antiques! This, sir, is alleged to be the actual pipe smoked by the great Sherlock Holmes himself.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. But I’ll say this for Sonya, she’s got a sense of humor. After I’d explained to her in words of one syllable that Sherlock Holmes was no more than a fictional character she saw the joke, even though it was on her . . .”

“And on you.”

“I suppose so. When I think of all the first class London briars that could have been purchased for the same money . . .”

“I’m surprised that you’re smoking
that
. After all, a secondhand pipe . . .”

“Sonya’s thorough. She took the thing to the nearest forensic laboratory to have it examined. They assured her that it was untouched by human hand—or lip. It’s a perfectly good meerschaum, recently manufactured and artificially aged. So she said that she liked to see her husband smoking the most expensive pipe in the Rim Worlds. It’s not a bad smoke either . . .”

“Don’t drop it,” warned the Admiral. “Whatever you do, don’t drop it.” Then the tolerant smile vanished from his broad, ruddy features. “But I didn’t send for you to discuss your filthy smoking habits.” He selected a gnarled, black cigar from the box on his desk, lit it. “I’ve a job for you, Grimes. I’ve already spoken to Rim Runners’ management and arranged for your release for service with the Reserve.”

Normally Grimes would have been pleased, but with Sonya
just
back . . .

“The Federation has a finger in this particular pie as well, Grimes. And as their Commander Sonya Verrill is back in Port Forlorn she may as well go along with you.”

Grimes’s face cleared.

“And this
will
please you, Commodore. I haven’t any warships to spare, and so your beloved
Faraway Quest
will be recommissioned, with you in full command. The selection of personnel will be up to you.”

“And what is the job, sir?” asked Grimes.

“A detailed, leisurely investigation of Kinsolving’s Planet. We all of us tend to shy away from that ruddy world—but, after all, it is in our back garden. And after those outsiders from Francisco landed there to carry out their odd experiments . . .”

“I was there too,” said Grimes.

“Well I bloody well know it. And I had to organize the rescue party. Anyhow, you’re our expert on Rim World oddities. Things seem to happen around you rather than to you. If anybody falls through a crack in the continuum the odds are at least a hundred to one that Commodore Grimes, Rim Worlds Naval Reserve, will be lurking somewhere in the background . . .”

“I’ve been in the foreground too, sir.”

“I know, Grimes, I know. But you always survive, and the people with you usually survive. I had no hesitation in recommending you for this . . . survey. Yes, I suppose you could call it that, although what you’ll be surveying God knows.”

“Which god?” asked Grimes, remembering vividly what had happened to the expedition from Francisco.

“Fill me in,” ordered Sonya. “Put me in the picture.”

“I wrote to you,” said Grimes. “I told you all about it.”

“I never received the letter.”

“It must still be chasing you. Well, you know of Kinsolving’s Planet, of course . . .”

“Not as much as I should, my dear. So just make believe that I’ve just come out to the Rim, and that I was never in the Intelligence Branch of the Survey Service. Start from there.”

“You have access to all the official reports, including mine.”

“I prefer to hear the story in less formal language. I never did care for officialese.”

“Very well, then. Now, Kinsolving’s Planet. It’s one of the Rim Worlds, and it was colonized at the same time as the others, but the colonization didn’t stick. There’s something . . . odd about the atmosphere of the place. No, not chemically, or physically. Psychologically. There are all sorts of fancy theories to account for it; one of the more recent is that Kinsolving lies at the intersection of stress lines; that there the very fabric of space and time is stretched almost to bursting; that the boundaries between
then
and
now
, between
here
and
there
, are so thin as to be almost nonexistent. Oh, I know that the same sort of thing has been said often enough about the Rim Worlds in general—but nowhere is the effect so pronounced as on Kinsolving. People just didn’t like living on a world where they could never feel sure of
anything
, where there was always the dread at the back of their minds that the Change Winds would reach gale force at any tick of the clock. So, when their suicide rate had risen to an unprecedented level and their nut hatches were crammed to capacity, they got the hell out.

“That was that. And then, a century and a half ago, Galactic Standard, one of the Commission’s tramps,
Epsilon Eridani
, made an emergency landing at the spaceport. She had to recalibrate the controls of her Mannschenn Drive and, as you know, that’s best done on a planetary surface. It could be that the temporal precession fields set up while this was being done triggered some sort of continuum-warping chain reaction . . . Anyhow, a few of the officers were allowed shore leave, and they decided to explore the famous caves, which were not far distant. In these caves are remarkably well-preserved rock paintings, made by the Stone Age aborigines who once lived on Kinsolving. (What happened to
them
, nobody knows. They just vanished, millennia before the first humans landed.) They returned to their ship in quite a dither, reporting that the paint of some of the pictures of various animals was
wet
.

“The Federation’s Survey Service finally got to hear about this and sent a small team of investigators, one of them a very well-qualified young lady from the Rhine Institute. They found the rock paintings without any trouble—and found that a new one had been added, one depicting men in the standard spaceman’s rig of that period. While they were standing around marveling they were pounced upon by a horde of cavemen and made prisoner.

“But the Rhine Institute’s star graduate was equal to the occasion. Telepathy, teleportation, psychokinesis—you name it, she had it. The party escaped with a prisoner of their own, the artist in person. His name was Raul. . .

“And, back on Earth, Raul became a pet of the Rhine Institute himself. He was a very specialized kind of painter. When he drew an animal, that animal was drawn, in the other sense of the word, to within range of the weapons of the hunters. He was also a telepath, and after the Institute had just about sucked him dry he went to Francisco to become chief psionic radio officer of the Deep Space Communications Station on that world. By this time he’d married the wench who’d captured him and, although he wasn’t human, strictly speaking, the genetic engineers were able to make certain modifications to his body so that the union was a fruitful one.

“You’ve been to Francisco, of course. You know how religion is almost a primary industry on that planet. Raul got religion—and became, of all things, a neo-Calvinist, as did all his family. His great-granddaughter fell from grace with a loud thud and became one of the so-called Blossom People. . .”

“So there’s a woman mixed up in it!” commented Sonya.

“Look around, my dear, and you’ll find a woman mixed up in almost everything. But where was I? Yes, Clarisse. She rather overdid things—drink, sex, drugs—and was picked up out of the gutter and brought back into the fold. But the neo-Calvinists weren’t being charitable. They knew that she had inherited her ancestor’s talents, and they knew that certain of the psychedelic drugs amplified these same talents, and so . . .”

“And so?” she echoed.

“And so some perverted genius cooked up a scheme that even now makes me shudder. The idea was that she should be taken to Kinsolving and there, on a suitable mountain top, invoke by her graphic art and magic the God of the Old Testament, in the pious hope that He would provide for the neo-Calvinists a new edition of the Ten Commandments. That bunch of unspeakable wowsers had to get the permission of the Confederacy, of course, before they could land on Kinsolving—and so my lords and masters decided that Commodore Grimes, Rim Worlds Naval Reserve, should go along as an observer . . .”

“You never tell me anything.”

“I wrote to you about it. And it’s all in the reports that you, as the senior representative of the Survey Service’s Intelligence Branch on the Rim Worlds, should have read by now. Besides, I’ve hardly had a chance to get a word in edgewise since you came home.”

“Never mind that. What happened?”

“They set up shop on top of the mountain that they’d decided was the new Sinai. Clarisse, after the proper preparations, painted a picture of a suitably irate-looking, white-bearded deity . . . The trouble was, of course, that so many of those patriarchal gods looked alike. And the Blossom People’s religion is a pantheistic one. Cutting a long and sad story short—what we got wasn’t Sinai, but Olympus . . .”

There was a long silence. And then, “If I didn’t know you, and if I didn’t know from personal experience what odd things do happen out on the Rim, I’d say that you’d missed your vocation, that you should be a writer of fairy stories . . . But you assure me that all this is in the reports?”