“I don’t believe that’s what’s happened,” I said.
“But you saw it. I’m not earth anymore. Nyx won’t let me represent the element,” she sobbed.
“I don’t mean that you still have your earth affinity. What I mean is I don’t think Nyx took it away from you because you’re not worthy.”
“But I’m not,” Aphrodite said brokenly.
“I just don’t believe that. Here, let me show you.”
I took a small step back from her. This time without Aphrodite’s candle, I said, “It sustains and surrounds us. I call earth to my circle.”
The scents and sounds of a spring meadow instantly surrounded me. Trying to ignore the fact that what I was doing was making Aphrodite cry even harder, I walked to the center of my invisible circle and called the last of the five elements to me. “It is what we are before we’re born, and what we eventually return to. I call spirit to my circle.” My soul sang within me as the final element filled me.
Holding tightly to the power that always came to me when I evoked the elements, I raised my arms over my head. I tilted my head up, seeing not the ceiling over me, but imagining through it to the velvet darkness of the all-encompassing night sky. And I prayed—not the way my mom and her husband, the step-loser, pray, all filled with fake humbleness and with lots of decorative
amen
s and whatnot. I didn’t change who I was when I prayed. I talked to my Goddess just like I would talk to my grandma or my best friend.
I like to believe Nyx appreciates my honesty.
“Nyx, from this place of power you have given me, I ask that you hear my prayer. Aphrodite has lost a lot, and I don’t think that’s because you don’t care about her anymore. I think there’s something else going on here, and I really wish you’d let her know that you’re still with her—no matter what.”
Nothing happened. I drew a deep breath and centered myself again. I’d heard Nyx’s voice before. I mean, sometimes she actually talked to me. Sometimes I just got feelings about things.
Either would be okay right now
, I added that little part of my prayer silently. Then I tried to concentrate even harder. I closed my eyes and listened so hard within that I was squidging my eyes and holding my breath. Actually, I was listening so hard, I almost didn’t hear Aphrodite’s shocked gasp.
I opened my eyes, and my mouth flopped open along with them.
Floating between Aphrodite and me was the shimmering silver image of a beautiful woman. Later, when Aphrodite and I tried to describe to each other exactly what she’d looked like, we realized we couldn’t remember any details except that we both said she’d looked like spirit suddenly made visible—which really wasn’t any description at all.
“Nyx!” I said.
The Goddess smiled at me, and I thought my heart would pound out of my chest with happiness. “Greetings, my
u-we-tsi-a-ge-ya
“ she said, using the Cherokee word for “daughter,” just like my grandma often did. “You were right to call me. You should follow your true instinct more often, Zoey. It will never lead you wrong.”
Then she turned to Aphrodite, who, with a sob, dropped to her knees before the Goddess.
“Do not weep, my precious child.” Nyx’s ethereal hand reached out, and like a beautiful dream given substance, she caressed Aphrodite’s cheek.
“Forgive me, Nyx!” she cried. “I’ve done so many stupid things, and made so many mistakes. I’m sorry for all of it. I really am. I don’t blame you for taking away my Mark and my earth affinity. I know I don’t deserve either of them.”
“Daughter, you misunderstand me. I didn’t remove your Mark. It was the strength of your humanity that burned it away, just as it was the strength of your humanity that saved Stevie Rae. Whether you like it or not, you will always be more sublimely human than anything else, which is part of why I love you so deeply. But do not think that you are
only
a human now, my child. You are more than that, but exactly what that means, you must discover—and choose—for yourself.” The Goddess took Aphrodite’s hand and lifted her to her feet. “I want you to understand that the earth affinity was never yours, daughter. You simply held it in safekeeping for Stevie Rae. You see, the earth could not truly live within her until her humanity had been restored. You were who I trusted to keep that precious gift safe, as well as the vessel through which Stevie Rae’s humanity was returned to her.”
“So you’re not punishing me?” Aphrodite said.
“No, daughter. You punish yourself enough without any addition from me,” Nyx said gently.
“And you don’t hate me?” Aphrodite whispered.
Nyx’s smile was radiant and sad. “As I have already said, I love you, Aphrodite. I always will.”
This time I knew the tears that washed down Aphrodite’s face were tears of joy.
“You both have a long road before you. Much of it you will travel together. Depend upon one another. Listen to your instincts. Trust the still, small voice within each of you.”
The Goddess turned to me. “
U-we-tsi-a-ge-ya
, there is great danger ahead.”
“I know. You can’t want this war.”
“I don’t, daughter. Though that is not the danger of which I speak.”
“But if you don’t want the war, why don’t you just stop it? Neferet has to listen to you! She has to do what you command!” I said, not sure why I was suddenly feeling so frantic, especially when the Goddess was gazing at me serenely.
Instead of answering me, Nyx asked a question of her own. “Do you know what it is that is the greatest gift I have ever given my children?”
I thought hard, but my mind seemed to be a jumble of crossword puzzle thoughts and fragments of the truth.
Aphrodite’s voice sounded strong and clear: “Free will.”
Nyx smiled. “Exactly correct, daughter. And once I give a gift, I never take it away. The gift becomes the person, and were I to step in and command obedience, especially in the form of extracting affinities, I would destroy the person.”
“But maybe Neferet would listen to you if you spoke to her like you’re speaking to us now. She’s your High Priestess,” I said. “She’s supposed to listen to you.”
“It grieves me, but Neferet has chosen to no longer hear me. This is the danger of which I wish to warn you. Neferet has her mind tuned to another voice, one that has been whispering to her for a very long time. I hoped her love for me would drown out the other, but it has not. Zoey, Aphrodite is clever about many things. When she said that power changes, she was right. Power always changes the bearer of it and those who are closest to her, though people who believe it always corrupts think too simplistically.”
As she’d been talking, I noticed waves of brightness had begun to shiver through Nyx’s body, like moon-kissed mist rising from a field, and her image was getting harder and harder to see.
“Wait! Don’t go yet,” I cried. “I have so many questions.”
“Life will reveal to you the choices you must make to answer them,” she said.
“But you say that Neferet has been listening to someone else’s voice. Does that mean she isn’t your High Priestess anymore?”
“Neferet has left my path and has chosen chaos instead.” The Goddess’s image wavered. “But remember, what I have given I never take away. So do not underestimate Neferet’s power. The hatred she is attempting to awaken is a dangerous force.”
“This scares me, Nyx. I—I’m always screwing up,” I stammered. “Especially lately.”
The Goddess smiled again. “Your imperfection is part of your power. Look to the earth for strength, and the stories of your grandmother’s people for answers.”
“It’d be a lot safer if you just told me what I need to know and what I should do,” I said.
“As with all my children, you must find your own path, and through that discovery, you will decide what each earth child must ultimately decide—whether she chooses chaos or love.”
“Sometimes chaos and love seem like the same thing,” Aphrodite said. I could see that she was trying to be respectful, but there was a clear amount of exasperation in her voice.
Nyx didn’t seem to mind her comment. The Goddess simply nodded and said, “Indeed, but when you look deeper, you will see that though chaos and love are both powerful and alluring, they are also as different as moonlight is from sunlight. Remember . . . I am never far from your hearts, my precious daughters . . .”
With a final flash of shimmering silver light, the Goddess disappeared.
“Well, crap. Chaos and love are the same, but not. Neferet still has her powers, but she’s not listening to Nyx anymore. Oh, and she’s trying to wake up something dangerous. What does that mean? Is it an abstract wake up, like ‘waking up’ danger in the form of a war with humans, or is she literally trying to wake up some horrible, scary thingie that could eat us all? Like that creepy thing that scratched me earlier, which I didn’t even get a chance to ask her about. Crap again!” I babbled as Aphrodite and I hurried from the girls’ dorm. Sadly, it appeared we were going to be late for the Council Meeting.
“Don’t look at me. I have enough mysteries of my own to solve. I’m human, but I’m not? What does that mean? And how can my humanity be so big and bad anyway—I don’t even like humans?” Aphrodite sighed and fiddled with her hair. “Shit, my hair’s a mess.” She turned her face to me. “Can you tell I’ve been crying?”
“For the gazillionth time, no. You look fine.”
“Shit. I knew it. I look terrible.”
“Aphrodite! I just said you look fine.”
“Yeah, well,
fine
is fine for most people. For me it’s terrible.”
“Okay, our Goddess, the immortal Nyx, just manifested and spoke to us and all you’re thinking about is how you look?” I shook my head. That was incredibly shallow, even for Aphrodite.
“Yeah, that was amazing. Nyx is amazing. I never said she wasn’t. So what’s your point?”
“My point is that after experiencing a visit from the Goddess, you should, I dunno, maybe care about something more important than your already perfect hair,” I said, completely exasperated. This was the kid I was supposed to battle world-shaking dangerous evil with? Jeesh, Nyx’s ways were absolutely, totally mysterious. Talk about an understatement.
“Nyx knows exactly how I am and she loves me anyway.
This
is who I am.” She flapped her hand up and down in front of herself. “So, you really think my hair is perfect?”
“It’s as perfect as your shallow, pain-in-the-butt attitude,” I said.
“Oh, good. Okay, I feel better already.”
I frowned at her, but didn’t say anything else as we hurried up the stairs to the Council Room that was opposite the library. I’d never been in the room before, but I’d peeked inside it often enough. When it was empty, the door was rarely closed, and the zillions of times I’d come and gone from the library, I couldn’t help glancing in and gawking at the huge beautiful round table that was the predominate feature of the room. Seriously, I’d even asked Damien if that round table could have been
the
Round Table, circa King Arthur and Camelot. He’d said he didn’t think so, but wasn’t for sure.
Today the Council Room wasn’t an empty oddity. It was filled with vamps and Sons of Erebus and, of course, the few fledglings who were on the Prefect Council. Thankfully, we slipped in as Darius was closing the door and positioning himself, all tall and muscley, beside it. Aphrodite gave him a big flirty smile, and I stifled a sigh when his eyes sparkled at her in response. She tried to hang back so she could talk to him. Instead I grabbed her arm and practically hauled her over to the two empty chairs beside Damien.
“Thanks for saving us seats,” I whispered to him.
“Not a problem,” he whispered back, giving me his familiar smile. It warmed me and helped ease some of my nerves.
I glanced around the table. Aphrodite and I were sitting to Damien’s right. Beside Aphrodite was Lenobia, Professor of Equestrian Studies. She was talking with Dragon and Anastasia Lank-ford, who were beside her. To Damien’s left sat the Twins. They gave me twinlike head bobs and tried to look nonchalant, but I could see that they felt as nervously out of place as I did. I knew the Council was made up of the most powerful members of the school’s faculty, but along with the professors, several of whom looked familiar but I’d never been in their classes and really didn’t know who the heck they were, was a heavy show of power from the Sons of Erebus, including a massive guy who had taken a chair close to the door. He was the biggest person, human or vamp, I had ever seen. I was trying not to stare at him and thinking about asking Damien, Mr. King of the Rules, if the warriors were really supposed to be allowed in a Council Meeting, when Aphrodite leaned over and whispered, “That’s Ate, the Leader of the Sons of Erebus. Darius told me he was coming in today. He’s one hunk of a guy, isn’t he?”
Before I could answer that he was more like several hunks of many large guys, the back door to the room opened and Neferet entered.
I could tell something was wrong even before I caught sight of the woman who came into the room after her. Neferet’s public face was usually implacable perfection—she more than personified calm, cool, collection. But this Neferet was shaken. Her beautiful features looked somehow tighter, as if she was straining to control herself, and the strain was a stretch for her. She took a couple steps into the room and then moved aside so we could see the vampyre who entered behind her.
As they sighted her, the shock that zapped through the vamps was immediate and obvious. The Sons of Erebus were first to their feet, but the Council followed closely. Along with everyone else, Damien, the Twins, Aphrodite, and I stood, too, automatically mimicking the vamps’ respectful closed fists over their hearts and bowed heads.
Okay, I will admit that I peeked up from the head bow to get a look at the new vamp. She was tall and thin. Her skin was the color of rich, well-polished dark wood, and like mahogany, it was smooth and flawless, marred only by the intricate tattoo of her sapphire Mark, which was, incredibly, in the shape of the curving outline of the goddess figure all the vamp professors wore embroidered on their breast pockets. The female figures were mirrors of one another, their bodies stretched down her high cheekbones and along the side of her face. The inside arms were lifted, hands raised as if to cup the crescent in the middle of her forehead. Her hair was impossibly long. It fell well past her waist, in a heavy length of shining black silk. She had large dark eyes that were shaped like almonds, a long, straight nose, and full lips. She held herself like a queen, with her chin up and her gaze steady as it swept over the room. It was only when that gaze stopped briefly on me and I felt its strength that I realized she was something I’d never seen in a vamp before then—she was old. Not that she was all wrinkled, like an old human would be. This vampyre looked like she might be in her forties, which translated to ancient for a vamp. But it wasn’t wrinkles and saggy skin that made her look old. It was a sense of age and dignity that she wore like a fine piece of expensive jewelry decorating her body.