Authors: Lorelei James
Tags: #Fiction, #Literary, #Romance, #Erotica, #Contemporary
He lowered his voice. “Yes, I think you’re submissive. But I will qualify that statement.
It’s not something that was on your radar. It certainly wasn’t on mine when I first
met Lizette. And like me, I don’t think just any Domme can walk up to you and elicit
that ‘I want to serve you’ reaction. There’s only one woman who
can convince you that she deserves that kind of trust and loyalty from you. Is it
a more disturbing thought that you may never find her? Or that maybe you already have?”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Are you man enough to overcome your fears that ‘real’ men aren’t submissives?”
“I don’t know.”
Merrick cocked his head. “Someone asked me once why there weren’t more hetero male
submissives, not only at Twisted but at other clubs.”
“What did you say?”
“That most men weren’t strong enough to submit. We’re inherently weak creatures; we
worry about ego and machismo. I will tell you there is no greater feeling as a man
than when you know in your heart that no other man in the world can ever give your
woman what you do. And you’d wrap your hands around the neck of the man who even dared
to try.”
“Master Merrick? I hate to interrupt, but Delilah needs you in the medical room.”
“Thanks, Tia, I’ll be right there.” Merrick gave Knox another look. “My door is open
if you need to discuss this further.”
“Thanks.”
The bar got busy for the next hour. Then everyone cleared out and Knox was back to
staring at the clock, wishing for closing time. Wishing he could just drink a couple
of beers and stop all the questions pinging around in his head. His world had been
turned upside down tonight by Merrick’s story, confession, whatever the hell it’d
been.
Wrong. His world had been turned upside down the second Shiori Hirano had walked into
his life.
“Hey, bartender.”
That voice. Not just in his head. He closed his eyes. How was
he supposed to think rationally now? He turned around and faced her with a smile.
She wore the platinum wig and a light blue mask. “Hey, Mistress B. I wasn’t sure if
I’d see you tonight.”
“I wasn’t sure if I’d make it here after being gone all week.”
“Was it a successful trip?”
She smiled. “Very.”
“What can I get you to drink?”
She cocked her head. “Surprise me.”
Was this some sort of test? Knox looked at her and saw that smirk on her lips. “By
surprise do you mean . . . ? Am I choosing what you want to drink? Or what I think
you’d like?”
“Astute man. How about you make me what you think I’ll like.”
“One blue-balls special coming up.”
She laughed, crumpled up a bar napkin, and tossed it in his face.
Knox remembered Amery had whipped up a concoction called a dirty-girl lemonade. He
closed his eyes and latched on to that memory, seeing the bottles lined up on Ronin’s
bar. Vanilla vodka. Triple sec. Chambord. Sour mix. Lemon-lime soda. He found all
the booze and mixed the drink at the end of the bar, away from her curious gaze.
He added two cherries and a slice of lemon to a cocktail sword and dropped it and
the straw in the glass. After setting down a cocktail napkin, he put the drink in
front of her.
“What is it?”
“Oh, no, Mistress. That’s not how this works. You taste it and tell me if I passed
your test.”
Those golden eyes turned serious. “How’d you know it was a test?”
Knox leaned in. “Because you hope that I’ve been paying as much attention to you as
you’ve been paying to me.”
“You are cocky.”
He smiled. “Try it.”
When she pursed her lips around the straw, his cock stirred as
he imagined those lips at the base of his shaft as she deep throated him. Would she
make that same sexy little humming noise as she just did after tasting his drink?
“Wow. Knox. This is very tasty. You did well. What is it?”
“A dirty-girl lemonade.”
“Cool name, too. I thought you’d serve me a screaming orgasm.”
“Oh, I’d like to serve you that. But not in drink form.” What the hell had possessed
him to say that? And why was flirting with her becoming as easy as fighting with her?
She bit into a cherry. “Behave or I might have to take you into the naughty room.”
“And what would you do to me in the naughty room, Mistress?”
Her gaze slowly moved from his eyes, over his lips and throat, stopping midway down
his chest. “I’d take your shirt off.”
“And then?”
“And then I’d put my hands all over you. Letting my fingers dig into every muscular
groove in your biceps and forearms. Then I’d stand behind you and tell you to flex
so I could admire all the dips and grooves in your shoulders and back as well.”
His heart had accelerated and his cock was hard, even just from her phantom touching.
“After that?”
“I’d want to taste what I’d just touched. So I’d start over and use my mouth.”
“I don’t see how that’d be punishment, Mistress.”
“I planned to be naughty with you in the naughty room, not punish you.”
“Uh, can I get a drink down here?” someone asked from the end of the bar.
No. Go the fuck away. I’m busy.
“Knox? You have a customer.”
He forced himself to wait on the Dom and his sub. By the time he returned to Mistress
B, the moment had been broken.
Or she’s broken you. All she had to do to get you eager to follow her like a tail-wagging
dog was give you a little dirty talk?
Knox busied himself for the next ten minutes restocking areas that didn’t need to
be restocked. When he noticed she’d finished her drink, he returned and picked up
her empty glass. “Can I get you another?”
“No. I’m good. I’ll wander and see who’s here.”
“You’ll be disappointed there aren’t any male subs here tonight.” He shrugged. “It’s
been slow.”
“You saying I should just go home?”
“I’d never presume to tell a Mistress what to do.”
She laughed. “High marks for saying that with a straight face.”
When he still didn’t crack a smile, she sobered.
“You’re serious.”
Was he? Was he playing with this submission thing? Just seeing how far he could push
her before he chickened out and backed off?
Or maybe you’re not playing.
“Knox.”
Her voice held that razor-sharp edge, and goddamn if he didn’t find himself responding.
“I don’t know what I am besides really fucking confused.”
They stared at each other, the heat and unease zinging between them in equal parts.
Then she said, “Come home with me.”
His cock was raring to go, but this wasn’t a decision that could be made from a half
hour of sexy banter. “I’m not ready for that.”
She stepped back, and he noticed she wore thigh-high black leather boots and a miniskirt
that played peekaboo with the tops of the boots. Fuck. Those were the kind of boots
a man dropped to his knees to peel down her legs. With his teeth.
“You’re right.”
His gaze snapped up to hers. “About?”
“Declining my offer. When you’re ready to . . . talk, we’ll meet on neutral ground.”
“Agreed.”
“Good. So thanks for the drink.” She turned and walked off toward the private rooms.
Why wasn’t she leaving? Hadn’t he just told her there weren’t male subs hanging around
tonight?
But what if that motherfucker Dex was here?
Shit. What if they’d set up a meeting last week for a repeat tonight?
Fuck that.
Knox jumped over the partition and stormed across the room.
“Knox? Where are you going?”
“I gotta check on something.”
“No. You are manning the bar tonight. I don’t need you in the back rooms.”
Knox slowly turned around and faced Merrick.
He said, “Let it go.” What he really meant was,
Let her go
.
“Fine.” But it wasn’t fine. And where the fuck had all this come from all of a sudden?
He’d walked in here tonight ready to hook up with a woman. He’d take her to bed, show
her a good time, then show her the door. Plenty of women who spent the evening alone
at the club were ready for after-hours action. He suspected Chrissy—Christy?—was hanging
around up front by the bar to see if he wanted a replay of their mattress mambo from
a few months back.
When he calmed down and scoured the bar, she was nowhere to be found.
Probably because she’d seen him with Mistress B and assumed he’d be occupied. Add
in the way he’d started to chase after the sexy Domme . . . Yeah. He was fucked for
a fuck buddy tonight.
Yet it didn’t bother him as much as he’d imagined.
Knox cleaned up the bar area—it closed an hour earlier than
the club—and exited out the main door. He didn’t think of Shiori until he got home.
Immediately his cock got hard.
He flopped on his bed naked and began to stroke. Imagining her soft little hand moving
with surety. Would her tongue tease his nipples? Or would she be rubbing her mouth
across his collarbone and up his neck? Blowing in his ear? Whispering dirty words?
Grinding her pussy against his leg?
His hand moved faster as he envisioned her here, with him, touching him, directing
him, and yes, commanding him.
“Don’t come. You come on my command.”
But he couldn’t hold back. He was too close. He could feel that zing in his tailbone,
moving through his groin and then that first tug of release.
“Fuck. Oh fuck, yeah.” He kept jacking until he was spent. Breathing hard, he reached
for the tissues on the nightstand and cleaned himself up.
Too keyed up to sleep, he got up and ran through a few katas. Then he performed balancing
moves that had been hard as hell to perfect for a guy his size, but he’d worked on
them for years until he had them down. Now running through the set was a reminder
he could do anything he put his mind to.
Which made him wonder if this situation with Shiori was something he needed strength
to push through.
Finally after an hour and two bottles of beer, he fell into an exhausted and dreamless
sleep.
ALMOST
a week of not working out spurred Shiori to get to the dojo and move her body. She
warmed up on the treadmill for half an hour, then switched to weights. During workouts
she blocked her mind to everything but maintaining proper form, breathing correctly,
and counting her reps.
Except today her head kept replaying last night at Twisted.
Knox flirting with her, but respectfully within the parameters of club etiquette.
Knox asking specifics of what she meant as far as the drink order. A small thing perhaps,
but he grasped the difference between the options she’d given him. Knox admitting
his confusion.
And then Knox leaping over the bar and chasing after her when it appeared she’d gone
looking for a playmate.
Of course Knox had no idea she’d seen that.
Of course Knox had no idea how much it’d thrilled her.
She had a small sliver of hope all wasn’t lost with him.
As much as she’d dreaded going to Mexico to make a buyout offer, the timing was good.
She’d needed a reminder that she still could play a role in furthering the Okada Foods
global brand—if she chose to.
Not that her grandfather or her mother were pressuring her.
They opted to call Shiori’s time in America a
sabbatical
. Maybe that’s all it was. She’d agreed to help out at the dojo while Ronin was under
medical restrictions and traveling in Japan. But upon his return, she’d have to make
some decisions.
Shiori was so lost in thought that she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going
and she tripped over the bottom support bar to the weight training machine. She went
flying, sending the medicine ball in her hands airborne before she skidded across
the mat like a baseball player stealing home. The momentum sent her careening into
the rack that held the stretching bands, the jump ropes, and the weight belts. That
rack fell over with a loud clunk. Her head smacking into the weight bench leg finally
stopped her.
“Ow. Fuck.” She squeezed her eyes shut against the explosion of stars behind her lids.
Running footsteps sounded down the hallway and then closer.
“Jesus, Shiori, what the hell happened?”
She pried one eyelid open. “Knox? Is that really you?”
“Who else would it be?”
“I didn’t know how hard I hit my head and maybe I blacked out or something.”
“And maybe you were dreaming of me again?” he said in an amused tone.
“I didn’t know you were in the building.”
“I’ve been on the elliptical for the last thirty minutes. I didn’t know you were in
here either, so the crash scared the crap out of me.” He frowned. “Are you hurt?”
“Is the top of my skull caved in? Because that’s what it feels like.”
“No.” Tentative fingers touched her head. “No blood either.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Let me help you up.”
“I’ve got it.” She turned her head and smacked it into the weight bench leg again.
“Ow. Fuck.”
“Stay. Still.”
“Knox—”
“Jesus, don’t argue with me for a change. Let me help you.” He slid her body down
away from the weight bench base. When she reached out to grab on to him, she drew
her left hand back with a hiss of pain.
“What did you do to your hand?”
“I don’t know.” She used his body for support as she stood. Another spike of pain
in her head sent her swaying into him. “I’m a little light-headed.”
“I’ve got you. Hang on.”
Shiori kept her eyes closed when Knox lifted her into his arms. Damp, warm skin met
her cheek. He wasn’t wearing a shirt?
“Sorry that I’m sweaty.”
“Sorry that I tripped over my own feet.”
Her butt met a solid object.
“Feel like opening your eyes yet?”
She fluttered her lashes, letting in a small amount of light. When that didn’t send
a shard of pain to her eye sockets, she opened both eyes.
Knox was right there in her face, his blue gaze darting from her temple to her mouth.
“It’s starting to swell. I’ll get ice for it in a minute.” He picked up her left forearm
and bent down to look at her hand. “These are friction burns.”
“I slid across the mat.” She raised her right hand. “But I don’t have them here.”
“You must’ve hit the Velcro strip along that side.” He set her hand in her lap. “You
twist your ankle or anything? Is that why you fell?” Strong fingers skated down her
thigh, over her knee and calf to her ankle. Her skin beaded, begging for a more complete
touch. “You’ve got a scrape here.” He circled the area halfway down her shin. Then
he gently maneuvered her ankle around and looked at her. “Any pain?”
“No.”
“Good.” His hand glided back up her leg to the edge of her
athletic shorts. “I’ll grab the first aid kit. Don’t move.” He strolled out the door,
and she stifled a groan.
A shirtless Knox was the very definition of temptation. He was so damn big and built
like a warrior with those broad shoulders. She could write a dozen haikus about the
beauty of how his muscled back tapered into trim hips and a firm, round ass.
Then he waltzed back into the conference room, and his front side was equal to his
backside. Ripped arms—biceps, triceps, forearms—almost drew her attention away from
the muscled slabs of his chest. He had a hairy chest, but the hair was pale blond
and looked as soft as down. Did he showcase a six-pack? No. The man had an eight-pack.
Eight little pillows of hard flesh she was dying to put her lips on. His baggy athletic
shorts camouflaged his groin and his quadriceps, but she remembered from past peeks
that he had those deep V cuts of chiseled muscles.
His eyes narrowed when he realized she was gawking at him. “We’re out of ice, so whoever
was on office-supply stocking detail dropped the ball.”
“I’m fine, Knox, really.”
He ripped open a disinfectant pad, clasped her wrist in his hand, and gently rubbed
over the surface. It stung, but not terribly. “Did you have fun at the club last night?”
“I had a really great drink.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. “Happy you liked it.” After he finished with her
hand, he opened another wipe and swiped it across the scrape on her shin. “Did you
enjoy the back rooms and private rooms?” His voice was tight.
“Knox. Look at me.”
He glanced up.
“After you told me you were confused and we needed to talk, I was done for the night.
I went home. Alone.”
He scooted in closer. Then he pressed a gentle kiss to the bump
on her forehead. “I’m glad.” And another one, followed by a soft whisper of breath.
“So, so glad.”
That sweetness might just be her undoing.
“I’m a thirty-six-year-old man, and I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Kiss you, to start.”
Shiori tipped her head back. “So kiss me.”
His mouth landed on hers in a hard kiss, no holding back. He unleashed his male heat
and hunger, his tongue searching for hers to twine and retreat. He changed the angle
of his head and the tenor of the kiss. Turning it into pure seduction.
And she felt his need, his effort to turn this into something he understood.
While he was trying to break down her resistance, she set her hands on his chest and
touched him just for the pure joy of it.
Eventually the kiss waned, and he rested his forehead against hers. “So . . . we’ve
got that going for us.”
She laughed.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” he said again. “I’d ask you to tell me what I
should do, but that’s the whole issue—my issue—isn’t it?”
“Knox.”
“Please.” His lips skimmed her temple and her cheek before stopping at her ear. “Tell
me what to do.”
She closed her eyes, wanting to believe he’d accepted what he was, but how could he
when he’d never experienced submission? She brought her hands up to his neck. “Give
me one night with you.”
He said, “Yes,” without hesitation. “As long as it’s tonight.”
“Why tonight?”
“Because this has been weighing on me for the past week. I’ve been waiting and wondering
if I had the guts to follow through
with it. If I don’t do it now, I may never find the guts to try it again.”
“What are you afraid of?”
He lifted his head, and those hooded blue eyes bored into her. “That you might be
right.”
Shiori kissed him then. Holding him in place with her right hand around the base of
his throat. Exploring his mouth with licks and nips and bites. Absorbing his stillness
as she showed him the reward—his reward—in his surrender.
Forcing herself to take a breath, she peppered kisses in a straight line from his
mouth, down his chin and neck to the hollow of his throat. “And if I am right?”
“Then I’ll be grateful I discovered who I am with you, Mistress.”
Hearing the respect in that term, coming from Knox, pushed her to the edge of emotion
she’d kept locked away. She murmured in Japanese that he’d humbled her.
“Maybe before I agreed to a night with you, I should’ve asked how you became a Domme.”
Shiori looked up. “I’m not comfortable—”
“Me neither. Let’s stretch out in the conference chairs.” Without asking permission,
he picked her up and carried her to the captain’s chair at the head of the table.
He sat, settling her on his lap with her head resting between his neck and shoulder.
“See? This is much better.” He paused. “Or am I supposed to be at your feet?”
“Not until you’re ready to be there. So this is fine for now.” She squirmed and noticed
his hard cock pressing against her. No matter how she moved, she couldn’t get comfy.
Knox shifted her body, finding her the perfect spot, and she relaxed into him. “Tell
me when you discovered what you are. Before, during, or after your marriage?”
“Does it make sense if I say all three? I’d been unhappy in every relationship I’d
ever been in. Then all my friends were getting
married and I wanted what they had. I thought maybe a lifelong commitment was the
key to fulfillment. So I married Shin Hirano within a month of meeting him, because
I’d convinced myself it was a whirlwind love match.”
“Was it?”
“No. After we’d been married six months, he told me I bored him in bed and if I didn’t
figure out a way to change that, he’d start fucking other women.”
His body went rigid. “What a fuckhead.”
“I had to save face with the marriage because my mother and grandfather were both
opposed to it. Sex with Shin wasn’t great—something was still missing after we’d exchanged
rings—so I agreed to do ‘whatever it took’ to spice things up. Big surprise he had
made some inquiries to swingers clubs.”
“How big of him to be proactive,” Knox said dryly.
“Yes, wasn’t it, though?” She traced his collarbone. “The first club was basically
an orgy. The second club had an initiation for new members—you were blindfolded and
fucked. You weren’t allowed to know who you’d had sex with. I said no way on that.
The last one he suggested was a swinger’s type club with exhibitionism and voyeurism.
I agreed to try that one.”
“What happened?”
“He got off watching others have sex. He’d fuck me as fast as possible—we rarely had
an audience—so he had the night free to watch other couples. He expected me to give
him a hand job when he wanted to get off. Once, he forced me to my knees to blow him.
My resentment built because it was all about him, never about me.”
“So he didn’t drop to his knees and get you off with his mouth?”
“No. Not at the party or at home. After our third visit, another couple asked if we
wanted to go to a ‘real’ sex club. We went, and it was my first foray into kink. Of
course, the scenes that interested me didn’t interest him. When I voiced my opinion,
he decided being submissive would teach me my place.”
“Jesus.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head.
“I tried being his idea of a submissive, and I hated every second of it. There was
no give-and-take. It was all take on his part. Around the same time, I got put in
charge of a huge new food line at Okada—a real coup for me. More hours, which, now
that I think back, I have no idea how I worked more than I’d already been. I found
out that my husband had been going to the sex club without me. So he’d ended up doing
what he’d threatened in the beginning—fucking different women.”
Another soft kiss brushed her crown.
“I went to the club during the day to . . . I don’t know what my intent was . . .
but to take out my frustration on someone. Mistress Keiko, the owner, listened to
me vent. When I finished, she stared at me for the longest time. She said she’d been
watching me because I looked so unhappy at the club. The only time I didn’t look miserable
was when I watched a Domme in a scene. Then she told me I’d be unhappy as long as
I denied my true nature.”
Knox murmured, “Sounds familiar.”
Shiori elbowed him and he grunted. “But I didn’t doubt her. Mistress Keiko asked me
to come to the club alone, and she started to mentor me. By then my marriage had fallen
completely apart.”
“Did your ex know you’d found your . . . niche?”
“No. And even when I knew he was screwing around on me, I didn’t cheat on him. I focused
on other aspects of being a Mistress—not just sex.”
“But isn’t a submissive fulfilling your need for sexual satisfaction the most important
part of being a Domme?” he pressed.
She shook her head.
“Then what is it? What does your submissive get out of it since you expect full sexual
control? Is it just some kind of mind fuck for you?”
Shiori slid her hand up the side of his neck, pushing on his head so she could put
her mouth on his ear. “Oh, silly man. A mind fuck
leads to a real fuck. I can get you so worked up that you don’t need my hand on your
cock to get you off.” She blew a stream of air in his ear and he shuddered. “I can
make you come by my voice alone. Whenever. I. Want.”
When Knox tried to pull away, she squeezed his neck in warning and he stilled.